乔治和曼迪的头婚生活（2024）

That way you can still see her every day when she leaves you.
你可别嫉妒
Hey, don't be jealous.
如果你和一个上电视的女孩约会
If you ever date a girl and she's on TV,
你也可以把她照片挂墙上
you can put her picture up, too.
我和你说啊
For your information,
莫里·波维奇秀: 主要聚焦于家庭问题的综艺节目
主题包括亲子鉴定、夫妻不忠行为、问题少年、家庭暴♥力♥等
我以前和一个上过莫里秀的女孩谈过
I did date a girl who was on Maury once.
她孩子不是我的
I was not the father.
你来取你的卡车？
Hey, here for your truck?
嗯 修好了吧
Yep. Is it ready?
好了 我去拿钥匙 -好的
Yes, sir. I'll grab your keys. - All right.
准备好付钱了吧
All right, let's settle you up.
现金还是刷♥卡♥？-刷♥卡♥
Cash or card? - Oh, card.
那不是新任天气女郎吗
Hey, ain't that the new weather girl?
没错
Sure is.
她可真漂亮 是吧
Ooh, she's a looker, ain't she?
她是很吸引人
She's an attractive woman.
她天气播报得也很好
Who's also good at her job.
所以她来过你们店里？
So, she come in here?
有时候吧
Sometimes.
她本人真有那么性感吗
Is she really that hot in person?
够了 那是我老婆
Hey, that's my wife.
抱歉
Sorry.
不过你说的没错
But yeah.
钥匙给你
Here are your keys.
谢了 -嗯哼
Oh, thanks. - Mm-hmm.
他真娶了这位天气女郎？
Hey, he really married to the weather girl?
没啊 他这么和你说的啊
No. Is that what he's been telling you?
我就知道 她这么漂亮 你肯定配不上
I knew she was too hot for you.
嘿伙计 我们都有小孩了 我可是一发入魂呢
Hey, pal, we made a baby on the first try.
说的好
Nice save.
我们应该买♥♥一台更大的电视
Maybe we should get a bigger TV.
还要大吗？
Bigger?
27英寸还不够大吗？
This one's 27 inches.
我知道 但现在市场上已经有大一倍的电视了
I know, but now they got ones twice as big.
但是要1500块 重量有400磅呢
That's $1,500 and weighs almost 400 pounds.
嗯 但是折合下来...
Yeah, but that's only like... what, what is that?
只有三、四块一磅吧
Like three, four bucks a pound?
你坐得离电视近点 就相当于有大电视了
You want a bigger TV, sit closer to that one.
哈喽
Hello.
嘿 顺利吗
Hey, how'd it go?
不顺利
Not good.
亲爱的 怎么了
Oh, no, sweetie, what happened?
第一局的时候
Well, in the first inning,
我就演奏了"带我去看棒球赛"
I played "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."
此为美国职业棒球比赛的悠久传统
不对 你应该在第七局再演奏这个
Mm. No, you don't play that until the seventh inning.
我已经知晓了
I have been made aware.
谁都会犯这个错啊
Well, anyone could've made that mistake.
我还在对手击球的时候弹了音乐让大家躁动起来
I also played "Charge" when the other team was at bat.
天哪
Oh, God.
有人附和吗
Well, did anyone say "charge"?
全场都在嘘
They said "boo!"
也许在嘘客队呢
Maybe they were booing the other team.
有人朝我扔了个热狗
Someone threw a hot dog at me.
所以你吃过午餐了是吧
So you had lunch?
嘿 -嘿
Hey. - Hey.
我们一起去吃墨西哥菜吧
I was thinking we could go out for Mexican,
一起过个浪漫之夜
have a romantic evening.
嗯 没什么比青豆和芝士更浪漫了呢
Okay, well, nothing says romance like beans and cheese.
所以你同意了？
Is that a yes?
嗯 我先去冲个澡
Sure, let me go hop in the shower.
我去穿上我的漂亮衣裳
I'll put on my fancy shirt.
你觉得什么算漂亮呢
What are you calling a fancy shirt?
没有我名牌的都算
Well, one that ain't got my name on it.
你洗得可真够长的
That was a long shower.
我得刮一下腿毛
I had to shave my legs.
你好了没
How's it comin'?
再给我5分钟
Five more minutes.
你不化妆也很美啊
I think you're beautiful without makeup.
又不是化给你看的
This isn't for you.
马上好了
Home stretch.
曼迪 我们就吃个晚餐而已
Mandy, it's just dinner.
是啊 但万一我被认出来怎么办
Yeah, but what if I get recognized?
餐厅要是过了营业时间 谁也不会有机会认出你了
Well, you can't get recognized if the restaurant's closed.
好了 搞定
All right, all done.
好的
Great.
还得挑一双合适的鞋
Just have to pick out the right shoe.
你怎么知道某双合适呢？
How do you know what's the right shoe?
每双都试试就知道了
You try 'em all on.
你真美
You do look beautiful.
值得你等这么久吧
So worth the wait?
当然
Absolutely.
我们先喝点玛格丽特酒吧
Should we start with margaritas?
一上来就猜服务员查不查你身份证 有点刺♥激♥的
It does add excitement, wondering if my husband's gonna get carded.
而且我没带假身份证
And I didn't bring my fake,
所以真是一场豪赌了
so we're really rolling the dice.
全美法定饮酒最低年龄为21周岁 小乔治刚刚过20周岁
你的饮料来了
Here you go.
我没点啊
What's this?
吧台的男士送的
From the gentleman at the bar.
他是你的粉丝
He's a fan.
还好我卷了头发
Good thing I curled my hair.
谢谢啦
Thank you!
别向他招手啊
Don't wave at him.
为啥？这是好事啊
Why? It's nice.
才不好呢 你老公就坐在你面前
No, it ain't, I'm sitting right here.
那你想让我退回去吗
What do you want me to do, send it back?
没错 你已婚了
Yes, you're married.
你不能接受某些奇怪的男人送你的饮料
You don't take drinks from strange men.
他送给我喝了啊 有啥大不了的
It's a free drink. It's not a big deal.
我完全有能力支付我老婆的饮料钱
I can pay for my wife's drinks.
你说啥胡话呢
You're being ridiculous.
服务员
Excuse me.
请给我们两杯玛格丽特酒
Two margaritas, please.
好的 我得先查一下你的身份证
Sure thing. Just need to see some ID.
我们难得的二人世界时间 被你给毁了
We get so few nights out alone and you ruined it.
我才没呢 是被那男的给毁了
I didn't ruin it, that guy ruined it.
为啥是他？-他想睡你
How? - He was trying to sleep with you.
才没有呢
He was not!
曼迪 我一直满脑子在想怎么才能睡到你
Mandy, as a guy who's constantly trying to sleep with you,
所以我看得出来
I know what it looks like.
行吧 就算他是又能怎样呢
Okay, so what if he was?
我是和你结的婚
I'm married to you.
我是和你回的家
I'm going home with you.
然后今晚你就别想和我做♥爱♥了
You're the one I'm not gonna have sex with tonight.
我只是说 要是其他女孩在你面前和我调情
Well, I'm just saying, you wouldn't like it
你也不会乐意见到的
if other girls were flirting with me in front of you.
这种事已经发生过了
Other girls do flirt with you in front of me.
啥时候啊
Like when?
比如说带丝丝去公园时那个红头发女孩
Uh, the redhead at the park with CeeCee,
穿着抹胸 一直叫你小可爱的收银员
the cashier in the tube top who kept calling you "cutie,"
卖♥♥热狗的那个女孩
the Hotdog on a Stick girl
一边盯着你一边涂抹芥末酱
who stared at you as she applied mustard.
她只是提供良好的客户服务罢了
Oh, that's just good customer service.
所以对于你就没事
So, when it happens to you, it's fine,
对于我就不行了？
but when it happens to me, it's not?
没错
Agreed.
我不是给你在选择
I wasn't presenting that as an option!
听着 我知道男人脑子里都在想啥
Look, I know how guys think
所以我不希望他们满脑子都是你
and I don't want them thinking it about you,
尤其是我还坐在你旁边