火星失业后图签（2023）

美好的一天 是吧
Beautiful day, huh?
每个在地面上的一天都是美好的一天
Every day above ground is a beautiful day.
对
You got that right.
我到了
Well, this is me.
明天见
See you tomorrow!
我爱你
And, also, I love you.
我们过去六年每天
We've been riding this elevator every day
都一起坐这个电梯 每天
for the past six years, and every day,
我都想告诉你我爱你
I've wanted to tell you that I love you.
天呐 道格 振作点
Jesus Christ, Doug, get it together!
我得说我非常失望 杰夫
I gotta say I'm very disappointed here, Jeff.
想想这事对我们形象的影响
I mean, think about how this reflects on us!
我们帮你找了新工作 然后你炸了那地方
We set you up with a new job and then you nuke the place?
百振出局
Whoosh! Strike one hundred.
下一站 水箱镇
Next stop... tank-town.
并不是说水箱是一种惩罚措施 戴伦
Not that the tank is a punitive instrument, Darren.
但是我们确实认为
But in this case we do think it would be best
让你远离殖民地是最好的
to put some space between you and the rest of the colony.
也许一两年
Yeah, we're thinking a year or two.
打底
Minimum.
你有什么要为自己辩护的吗
What do you have to say for yourself?
第一 我和你们一样很震惊
Well, first, obviously, I'm as shocked a... as you are.
是真的
That's the truth.
谁能想象
I mean, who could have imagined something like
这事能 -女士
this actually even... - Ma'am?
杰克顿醒了
Jaxton is awake.
谢天谢地 让他进来
Oh, thank God. Send him in.
那家伙两腿之间真有一对大胆蛋
Guy's got a pair of wrecking balls between his legs, huh?
他救了得有十几个人的命吧
He saved what? Must've been a dozen lives?
如果他不在 想想会多死多少人
Just imagine the carnage if he hadn't been there...
他来了 大人物
There he is! The man of the hour.
火星英雄
The hero of Mars!
坐下 伙计 你值得
Have a seat, buddy. You earned it.
杰夫正要告诉我们
Jeff here was just about to tell us
他是怎么差点谋杀
exactly how he managed to nearly murder
并且毁了一整个重要的部门
and destroy an entire, crucial department.
对吧 杰夫 -停下
Isn't that right, Jeff? - Stop, stop.
你搞错了
You got it all wrong.
我不是英雄
I'm no hero.
杰克顿
Uh, Jax?
你撞到头了
You bump your head or something, bud?
是我的错
It was my fault.
我一定是昨天忘记关上笑气了
I must've forgot to turn off the nitrous yesterday...
有时候 我会打开笑气阀门 让事情平稳点
Sometimes I turn on the gas to keep things on an even keel.
“就像玩爵士乐”
"It's like playing jazz."
我只是小试一下 然后 我不知道
I just feel it out and... I don't know.
你还好吗 伙计
You okay, man?
我还好 只是
Uh, yeah, I'm okay, except for the fact that the...
杰夫 看来我们欠你一个道歉
Well, then. Jeff, it looks like we owe you an apology.
你去躺会儿吧
Hey Jeff, why don't you go lie down for a bit, okay?
但是 大伙们 -别说但是
But actually, fellas... - No buts, pal.
你需要休息
You need to rest.
你的健康最重要
Nothing's more important than your health.
给我一分钟
Hey, but, if you can just give me a minute,
我想我能提供一些信息
I-I think I can shed some light on...
我做了什么
Oh, God, what did I do?
好吧
Phew, okay...
这些都乱套了
Ugh, this is all out of order.
你没有用杰克顿的方法
You're not using Jaxton's system.
好吧
Oh. O-Okay.
他可能没解释过这步
I'm not sure he fully explained this step?
如果你能提醒我一下
But... But if you give me a quick refresher,
我想我能 -我要看到结果
I think I might have a... - I'm on the receiving end
提醒你不是我的工作 杰夫
of the system, not the refreshing end, Jeff.
以防你没注意到 我们落下很多进度
And in case you haven't noticed, we are dangerously behind here.
你知道我们对于个人健康幸福的
You do know that our advocacy and promotion of personal
提倡和提升是唯一
well-being is literally the only thing
防止这个殖民地一半人自杀的因素吧
stopping half of this colony from killing themselves?
当然
Yes, o-of course.
这样的错误有严重的后果 杰夫
Fuck-ups like these have huge consequences, Jeff.
对 -严重的
Right. - Huge!
好吧
O-Okay.
把梦想围谈的水备好
Get my water ready for Dream Circle.
好的
Copy.
要加柠檬吗
Now, did you want that with lemon or without?
杰夫 我这次竟想要不加柠檬的水
Yeah, Jeff, I actually want the water without lemon this time.
谢谢你问一句
Thank you for asking.
让我们不要抗氧化剂和类黄酮
Let's skip the antioxidants and the flavonoids
让炎症在我的虚弱受伤的身体里
and let the inflammation run rampant
猖狂地活动吧
through my entire weakened, critically injured body.
所以你是想要加柠檬的 对吗
So you do want it with lemon water?
现在就要柠檬水
LEMON WATER NOW!
好的 女士
Yes, ma'am.
我知道这周很令人痛苦
Now, I know this has been a intensely traumatic week,
但是让我们尽力记住
but let's do our best to remember the reason
我们在这里的原因
we're all here.
梦想
Dreams.
我先说
I'll go first.
我有一个梦想
I have a dream...
我们把餐厅桌子都改成黑板
that we make all the cafeteria tables into chalkboards
再放些装着彩色粉笔的小杯子
and we put little cups of colored chalk around.
涂鸦是解压的好方式
Doodling is a natural stress-reliever.
我现在可太需要
And I know I could sure use a stress-reliever
解压了
right about now.
马克斯 你想说吗
Marcus, would you like to go next?
我有一个梦想
Oh, I have a dream...
我的眉毛能一晚上就长回来
that my eyebrows magically grow back overnight
是那个怪胎杰克顿烧光它们的
after that freak Jaxton burned them off.
马克斯 这么说不好
C'mon, Marcus. I don't think that's right.
我知道很难 但是请说些积极的
I know it's hard, but please, let's keep it positive.
“积极的”
"Positive"...
积极的
positive.
我有一个梦想
I have a dream...
杰夫能像我相信的那样
that Jeff is as successful a presence
成为一个有用的存在
as I just know he's gonna be.
因为我再也不想和那个疯子
Because I never want to go back to working
一起工作了
with that freak motherfucker ever again.
他真有毒
I mean, he's so toxic.
他真的在用气体 煤气灯我们
He was literally gaslighting us with gas!
好了 大家
Okay, people, okay.
避不开的话题 杰克顿
The elephant in the room... Jaxton.
我和戴伦密切
Let's just say, I've been working very closely
讨论过这个了
with Darren on this,
我们找到了更适合他的地方
and we found a much more suitable place for him.
水箱
A tank.
睡眠水箱
A sleep tank, actually.
我不懂那个东西的原理
I don't quite understand the science of it all,
但是 重要的是
but the bottom line is...
他会在里面很久很久
he's gonna be in there a long, long time.
几年
Years.
前提是 那么久不拍瑞根马匹 他还能活着
If he can survive that long without kissing Reagan's ass.
不
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
马里奥
Hey Mario. Hey, man.
不知道你听清我没有
Hey, I don't know if you actually heard me,
我下单了一杯奶昔
but I ordered a smoothie,
不是一潭稀尿
not some loosey-goosey puddle of piss.
加点香蕉 让她稠点 好吗
Let's thicken her up with some bananas please, okay, Chief?
谢谢
Thank you.
你要把杰克顿放进水箱
You're putting Jax in the tank?
当然
We sure are!