戏里戏外（2011）

内森餐厅附近 你记得内森餐厅吗
Near Nathan's. You remember Nathan's?
记得
Sure.
我走在大街上
I was walking down the street.
看见电♥话♥亭里一个女的
And I saw this woman in a phone booth.
超级美
She was magnificent.
身材无敌
A body to die for.
年轻版的希德·查理斯
Like a young Cyd Charisse.
你记得希德·查理斯吗
You remember Cyd Charisse?
当然
Totally.
《雨中曲》
Singing in the Rain?
-《篷车队》 -《篷车队》对对
- The Band Wagon-- - Band Wagon, sure.
反正那是个夏天夜晚 很热
Anyway, it was a hot summer night,
关在那个电♥话♥亭里的人更是热辣
even hotter in that phone booth with the door closed.
我站在那
So I'm standing there,
看着她
watching her,
我是在阴影下
kind of in the shadows.
我注意到她肩膀上
And I notice this one
一颗小汗珠
little bead of sweat
慢慢地流下来
slowly rolling down her bare shoulder.
然后她转过身
And she turns,
和我四目相对
and her eyes catch mine.
瞬间火花四溅
It was this charged erotic moment.
就很像你和箱子里那个女孩
And much like you and your girl in the box,
然后导致了某种
it led to some, uh,
自我愉悦
self-pleasuring,
如果你能懂我的意思
if you catch my drift.
我懂
I'm catching it.
当然
Of course,
我的情况稍微有所不同
my situation was slightly different in that
因为她并不知道当时怎么回事
she had no idea what was happening.
她往下看
When she looked down
看见了我手上的动作 然后开始尖叫
and saw what I was doing, she let out a-a scream.
声音非常大
It was so loud, you could hear it
隔着电♥话♥亭的门都能听见
through the glass with the door closed.
不过对我来说已经够了
But that's all I needed.
警♥察♥来的时候
By the time the cops came,
我已经完事 拉上裤链 走到46街了
I was done, zipped up, and halfway down 46th Street.
现在见不到电♥话♥亭了
You don't see phone booths anymore.
他们把这叫做进步
And they call that progress.
可不
Right.
总之吧 节目的事
Anyway, the show.
我们就 没事了
So...we're okay?
让我们想一想
Well, let us think about it.
讨论一下再说
We'll discuss.
不过我很高兴你打给我了
But I'm really glad you called.
我也是
Me too.
太谢谢你了
Thank you so much.
艾略特·沙拉在一号♥线
Elliot Salad on one.
把他炒掉
Fire him.
你确定
You sure?
那人不适合主持家庭节目
Yeah, that guy should not be hosting a family show.
让人起鸡皮疙瘩
Gives me the creeps.
坏消息 哥们
Bad news, bud.
什么
What?
我刚跟艾略特·沙拉通了电♥话♥
I just talked to Elliot Salad.
他说要想想
He-he said he was gonna think about it.
那个 他想过了
Well, he...thought about it.
操
Fuck!
干得漂亮
Well done.
-太棒了 谢谢 -谢谢你过来
- That was great, thank you. - Thank you so much for coming in.
我很喜欢她
I liked her a lot.
她有些地方干的非常漂亮
She made some very smart choices.
我觉得她有点臀臀的
I thought she was a bit rumpy.
什么意思
As in?
-臀部太大 -臀部太大
- Too much rump. - Too much rump.
跟我换个位置
Switch seats with me.
下一个是谁
Who's next?
安东尼·博纳·史密斯
Uh, Anthony Powner Smith.
-不不不不 -怎么了
- No. No, no, no, no. - What?
我们已经讨论过这事了
We had this conversation.
-有吗 -明明就有
- Did we? - You know we did.
就是你带烤苹果酥来的那天
It was the day you brought in your apple crumble.
我记得烤苹果酥
I remember the crumble.
你肯定能想起来
I'm sure you'll recall,
在你打发肉桂奶油的时候
as you were whipping your cinnamon cream,
我们热烈地讨论过安东尼·博纳·史密斯
we had a vehement conversation about Anthony Powner Smith.
我们非常明白地说过不要让他来
We were absolutely explicit about not bringing him in.
他是非常棒的演员
He's a brilliant actor.
-当然了 -是的
- Absolutely. - Yes.
毫无疑问 并且
No question, and...
瘫痪了 棒棒地瘫痪了
paralyzed, brilliantly paralyzed.
你们对雇佣残疾人有意见 那我很抱歉
Well, I'm sorry if you two have issues with hiring the disabled.
-跟残疾这事没关系 -不是的
- Nothing to do with him being disabled. - No, no, no,
我们这部戏的重点
the whole conceit of our show
就在于每个人都扮演两个完全不同的角色
is that everyone plays two very different parts.
要是他两个角色都坐着轮椅
If he's in a wheelchair for both of them,
那很难体现出他的多面性
that hardly makes him chameleon-like.
肯定会安排两个不同的轮椅
Well, they'd obviously be different chairs.
只占用你们五分钟的宝贵时间
Look, it's five minutes out of your oh-so-busy lives.
说不定他会给你们惊喜呢
Who knows? He might surprise you.
跳个踢踏舞什么的
By tap-dancing.
这就太过分了
That is wildly offensive.
你这太过分了
You're wildly offensive.
那我要让他进来吗
So, um, should I bring him in?
-当然 -人都来了 我们也不能
- Absolutely. - Well, he's here now. Well, we can't not,
安东尼
Anthony?
大家好啊
Hello, good people.
-你好 -欢迎 感谢你过来
- Hello, ah. - Welcome. Thank you so much for coming in.
等一下 有点问题
Hang on. Bit of a snag.
我是想说 我
I was going to say, I--
差一点
Almost.
要设计好路线
It's all about the trajectory.
我们能帮上忙吗
Can we help?
不不 我能行
No, no, I've got it.
只是
Um, it's-- just, uh--
经常这样
Happens all the time.
你确定吗
You sure? We--
别别 我能搞定
Oh, no, no, I can totally do it.
行了 等下
Ah. There we go-- No, hang on.
我越弄越糟了
I made it a little worse here.
我真是操了
Bloody fucker!
这个椅子好像热的时候会膨胀
This chair seems to expand in the heat.
主要是门框太窄了
Well, it is a very narrow doorframe.
-相当窄 -模特都能卡住
- It's ridiculously narrow. - Runway models would get stuck there.
你确定我们帮不上忙吗
Are you sure we can't help?
-不 我能搞定 -别着急
- No, I've got it! - No, no rush.
毫无进展
We're-we're going nowhere.
也没有那么困难嘛
That wasn't so hard, was it?
你的手是流血了吗
Is your hand bleeding?
一点点 没事
Hardly. It's fine.
别担心
No worries.
欢迎
So welcome.
-很高兴你能过来 -很荣幸
- So thrilled you could come in. - Wow, what a treat.
-很喜欢你 -我超喜欢
- Huge fans. - Especially me.
你们太客气了
Oh, you're very kind.
这个剧本非常棒
Say, uh, it's a wonderful script.
谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
相当搞笑
It's very, very funny.
两个角色都很
Both, uh--both roles so...
有意思
so tasty.