戏里戏外（2011）

前情提要
你意识到了吗 这就是你想拍的戏
You realize that's your show.
父亲是个骗子
The father is a con man.
油嘴滑舌 专干坏事
Shifty. Conniving.
-儿子是个警♥察♥ -我有点喜欢
- The son is a cop. - I kind of like that.
-我感觉我可以演一个警♥察♥ -不不不
- I could see me playing a cop. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
-你演父亲 -不可能
- You're the father. - No fucking way.
我才不会演那个混♥蛋♥
I'm not playing that asshole.
那个角色更好
It's the better part.
行 我演父亲
Yeah. I'm the father.
默克才是坏人
It's Merc who's the villain here.
别生我的气 生他的气
Don't be mad at me. Be mad at him.
我对你们俩都很生气
I think there's enough mad for both of you.
-电视购物台 -天
- QVT... - Oh, Jesus.
想让你代言一系列马特·勒布朗背心
wants you to front a line of Matt LeBlanc vests.
-我需要做什么 -什么都不用做
- What do I have to do? - Nothing.
你就穿着背心站在那
You stand there in your vest.
接几个电♥话♥
You take a few calls.
你就看着数字蹭蹭涨吧
You watch the tote board go up.
就像是电♥话♥慈善募捐 募捐给你
It's like a telethon, only you're the disease.
什么时候的事
How soon would this happen?
等那些小孩把纽扣都缝上就行了
As soon as the little children finish sewing the buttons on.
不是真的童工吧
It's not really kids making them, right?
不是
No!
《戏里戏外》第五季第六集
你们来做什么呢
Hey, what are you doing here?
来卖♥♥剧本
Uh, the pitch?
-我们是要过一遍... -对对
- We're supposed to go over-- - Yes, yes.
对
Yes.
节目如何了
How was the show?
我们暂停了
We had to stop tape.
你知道最边上那个黑人女孩吧
You know the black girl on the end?
真菌感染了 只好退出
She got a fungal infection. Had to drop out.
-我的天 -是啊
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
据估计是从蝙蝠身上感染的
They think she caught it from the bats.
还有蝙蝠
There were bats?
可不是吗
Oh, yeah. I'm telling you.
这可不是什么幸运大转盘
This shit ain't Wheel of Fortune.
等你准备好了我们就...
Uh, so, whenever you're ready, we could, um...
好好 我准备好了 开始吧
Oh, yeah, yeah. I am ready. Go.
好的
Okay. Well...
我们准备一开始
We're gonna start by talking about how
讨论电视行业内
right now, in the television landscape,
缺少一部有深度的父子关系节目
there's really nothing with a great, complicated
这个大背景
father-son relationship.
我的背心到了
Hey, my vests are here!
鹦鹉的注意力时限都比他长
Parakeets have a longer attention span.
是这周末我要在电视购物台卖♥♥的
These are the ones I'm selling on QVT this weekend.
你第一次亲眼看见
Is this the first time you're seeing these?
-对 -万一你不喜欢呢
- Yep. - What if you don't like them?
我可以砍掉那些我非常非常讨厌的
Well, I'm allowed to kill all the ones I really, really hate.
那你有点讨厌的那些呢
And what about the ones you only sort of hate?
它们就可以成为正品马特·勒布朗背心
They get to become genuine Matt LeBlanc vests.
还不错
This isn't bad.
这质量也太粗糙了
It has a remarkably abrasive quality.
这也能算得上是布料吗
Can this technically be called a fabric?
谁管呢 只要在电视上看着好看就行了
Who cares? It just has to look good on TV.
就跟你一样
Much like you.
花纹看着挺真实的
The patterns are certainly lively.
我喜欢能穿出中风效果的衣服
I like a garment that can cause a seizure.
这些人知道什么好卖♥♥
Hey, these guys know what sells.
这些衣服是不是在散发什么
Are they giving off a sort of...
毒气
...toxic--
可能是包装袋的问题
Well, it's probably just the bags.
可能是背心
Could be the vests.
有可能
Yep. Could be.
好吧 接着讨论卖♥♥剧本
Right. So, back to the pitch?
这样吧 到卖♥♥剧本的时候我会听的
Ah. You know what? I'll hear it at the pitch.
吃晚饭吧
Want to grab dinner?
-我去换衣服 -行
- I'll go change. - Fine.
我们在大厅等你
We'll wait for you out in the hall.
只要不用闻那个味就行
Anything to get away from that smell.
这是对时尚的挑战 加上煤气泄漏
It's like a fashion statement and a gas leak.
然后他走进空车♥库♥
And then he walks into the empty garage,
车♥库♥里只有一张纸条 上面写
and there's just a note, and it says,
谢谢 爸爸
"Thanks. Dad."
然后我们看见威廉脸上的失望
And we see the frustration on William's face.
然后我们镜头切到迪克
And then we cut to Dick
沿着海岸开车
driving down the coast...
开着一辆兰博基尼
in the Lamborghini.
然后试播集就结束了
And that's the end of the pilot.
-很棒 -太棒了
- Great. - So great.
每一周都有能持续进行的元素
And there's definitely a procedural element each week.
有罪案 有独♥立♥的故事
You've got crimes and cases and standalone stories.
但其核心是复杂的
But at its heart is this complicated,
破损的 极为扭曲的
damaged, wonderfully fucked up
父子关系
father-son relationship.
即使威廉完全知道
Even though William absolutely knows
他父亲是一个邪恶 爱操纵人的垃圾
that his father is a devious, manipulative shit...
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
他却是如此的聪明有魅力
...he's so charming and clever
总是把他吸引回来
that he always draws him back in.
剧本基本上就是这样子
And that's basically the show.
我觉得很有意思
I think it's really interesting.
很有意思
Very.
比我预想的要多一些喜剧元素
There's a lot more comedy than I was expecting.
其实是剧情加喜剧的
It's really more of a dramedy.
不一定非得如此嘛
Oh, well, it-it doesn't have to be.
这对我们是好事
Oh, no, that's actually good for us.
很好
Oh, good.
这年头谁会写剧情加喜剧
God knows if anyone can write dramedy.
有时候有趣 但不一定总这样
They're funny, but not always.
我们觉得这对马特来说是一个很好的项目
We think it's a great project for Matt.
-完全出人意料 -我完全同意
- Really unexpected. - I totally agree.
-我也很喜欢... -你漏了
- I also really like-- - You're leaking.
-什么 -你漏了
- What? - You're leaking.
进行更多的探索 还可以引入...
...explore that even more, and maybe bring in--
抱歉 我得去吸奶
Excuse me. I have to go pump.
她每次说这句话
Every time she says that,
我都觉得我再也不可能勃起了
I think I'll never get an erection again.
-好的 -我们没问题
- Okay. - I think we're good.
我觉得我们可以往前推进
I say we move forward with this.
太好了
Oh, great!
太感谢了
Thank you so much. - Yess! - Great.
那个贝佛利 你能留下来几分钟吗
Actually, Beverly... if you could hang for a minute.
我想跟你聊两句
I'd love to have a quick chat.
当然
Absolutely.
感觉像是被叫去校长办公室了
Feels like I've been called into the headmistress' office.
我需要你帮我传达一个消息
I need you to convey a message for me.
好的
All right.
告诉你的朋友她犯了一个大错
Tell your friend she's making a big mistake.
我猜你说的是卡罗
I assume you're talking about Carol,
最爱犯大错的人非她莫属了
as she is the queen of big mistakes.
你能稍微讲详细点吗
Would you care to be more specific?
她针对电视台提出了性侵犯的控告
She filed a sexual harassment suit against the network.
真的
Really?
显然我"骚扰"了她
Apparently, I "Harassed" Her.
我觉得你可以去掉这个引号♥
I think you can drop the "Air quotes."
我在场
I was there.
你知道... 算了
You know-- no, never mind.
什么