戏里戏外（2011）

Episodes S05E05

Part 3 Feb. 13, 2021, 3:06 p.m.

Well, I'm sorry, but you just lost your father.
你一定有一些情绪的
You must be feeling... something.
我有情绪
I feel stuff.
我觉得很烦
I feel annoyed...
必须去处理这摊事
that I have to handle this shit.
我觉得很轻松
I feel relieved...
那个讨厌的琳达不再电♥话♥骚扰我了
that stupid Linda's off the phone.
我觉得很生气
I feel angry...
生网飞的气
at Netflix.
我还有点饿
And I'm also a little hungry.
可能是因为刚刚一直在说什么蛋黄酱
Probably all that mayonnaise talk.
有没有人想要个三明治
Anyone want a sandwich?
你不会现在真的要吃蛋黄酱吧
You're not really eating mayonnaise now?
没错
Yep.
我要直面死神
I'm gonna look death in the face...
然后涂满全麦面包
and then I'm gonna spread it on whole wheat
外加火鸡和瑞士奶酪
with some turkey and Swiss.
我得说
I've got to say, so far today,
这是你今天最好的主意
this is the best idea you've had.
是蛋黄酱给的灵感
It's the mayonnaise.
就假设
Let's say
你现在打开电视
you could turn on your TV right now
可以看任何你想看的节目
and watch anything you wanted.
你想看什么
What would it be?
不能是《妓♥女♥》
And it can't be Whores.
什么都行
Anything at all.
什么
What?
我还是应该打给我妈
I should probably call my mother.
真的现在我们现在正灵感迸发呢
Really? Now? When we're on a roll?
应该告诉她一声
Yeah, well, I should let her know.
严格说来他们还是夫妻
Technically, they're still married.
-你开玩笑吧 -没有
- You're joking. - Nope.
她坚持了四十年不肯离婚
40 years she wouldn't give him a divorce.
一直说"直到死亡把我们分开"
She was all about "Till death do us part."
所以今天算是偿清了
So today's quite the payoff.
给我两秒钟你们继续
Just two seconds. Keep going.
-喂 -妈
- Hello? - Ma?
-喂 -妈
- Hello? - Ma?
-喂 -妈
- Hello? - Ma.
戴上你的助听器
Put your hearing aids in.
戴上你的助听器
Put your hearing aids in.
等一下我去戴助听器
Hold on, I'm putting my hearing aids in.
喂
Hello?
妈有噪音
Ma. Feedback.
等一下
Hold on.
我听不见
I can't hear.
有噪音妈
Feedback. Ma?
我讨厌这些破玩意
I hate these damn things.
妈
Ma?
-喂 -你能听见了吗
- Hello? - Can you hear me now?
-喂 -妈
- Hello? - Ma?
-我把它取了 -戴上
- I took it out. - Put it back.
等一下
Hold on.
天调一下
Jesus Christ. Adjust it.
调一下
Adjust it!
-好点吗 -好点了
- Better? - Yeah. Yeah, better.
有什么新消息
So, what's new?
爸死了
Dad's dead.
-什么 -他死了
- What? - He's dead.
怎么
What?
死了
Dead.
他整个人都懵了
He's so shut down.
他什么时候不懵了
You're assuming there's something there to shut.
你也看见他们在一起是什么样子
You saw what they were like together.
我知道但那是他父亲
No, I know, but it's his father.
-琳达 -操
- Linda. - Fuck.
-我不行我不行 -上次我接的
- I can't do it. I can't. - I was last up.
行行行
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
喂
Hello.
那个谁还没到呢
What's-his-name's still not here yet.
等一下那是肖恩负责的
Hang on. That's Sean's department.
喂琳达
Hello, Linda.
他还没到
He's still not here.
-等一下我查查 -我站不住了
- Hang on, let me check. - I'm starting to melt.
-上面说他应该到了 -告诉上面他没到
- It says he should be there. - Well, tell it he's not.
-他开着一辆起亚 -他在宜家
- He's in a Kia. - IKEA?
我都说了是塔吉特
I told you Target!
-塔吉特 -他开着一辆起亚
- Target! - He's in a Kia.
-一辆什么 -起亚
- A what? - A Kia.
-起亚 -起亚
- A Kia? - A Kia.
起亚
A Kia?
等一下我打给他贝佛利来接电♥话♥
Hang on. Let me call him. Here's Beverly.
喂
Hello again.
喂阿姆贾德
Hello, Amjad?
是什么样的起亚
What type of Kia is it?
是一辆白色起亚锐欧
It's a white Kia Rio.
是一辆白色起亚锐欧
It's a white Kia Rio.
-一辆起阿锐欧 -不是
- A Kiario? - No.
那辆起亚的型号♥是锐欧
The model of the Kia is a Rio,
颜色是白色
and the color is white.
你有看见一辆白车吗
Do you see a white car?
我旁边就有一辆
Yeah. I'm standing right next to one.
跟她招手
Wave to her.
那是起亚锐欧
That's a Kia Rio?
那是辆起亚锐欧
Yes, that's a Kia Rio,
-然后那位司机 -天啊
- and the gentleman-- - Oh, Jesus.
我没有钥匙
I have no key.
钥匙在他口袋里
He had the keys in his pocket.
我进不了家
I can't get into the house.
我不知道该跟你说什么
I'm not sure what to tell you.
太糟糕了告诉马特我被锁在门外了
God damn it. Tell Matt I'm locked out.
我需要他的钥匙
I need his key.
他现在在和他妈妈通话
I'm afraid he's on with his mother.
-他妈被锁在门外了吗 -应该没有
- Is she locked out? - I don't think so.
那就去她的让他接电♥话♥
Then fuck her. Just put him on.
等一下
Hang on.
我就是想告诉你一声
I just wanted you to know.
-我说不清楚 -抱歉打扰一下是琳达
- I don't know. - I'm so sorry. It's, uh, Linda.
她说她被锁在门外了需要你的钥匙
She says she's locked out and she needs your key.
我没有钥匙
I don't have a key.
你怎么会没有钥匙
How do you not have a key?
你怎么会没有钥匙
How do you not have a key?
-是你住在那 -你要不拿着电♥话♥
- You live there. - Would you like the phone?
不叫个锁匠过去
No, call in a fucking locksmith.
当然
Absolutely.
真是越来越精彩了
It only gets better.
给谁叫个锁匠
Get who a locksmith?
琳达
Linda.
谁
Who?
琳达
Linda.
我应该不认识哪个叫琳达的人
I don't believe I know anyone by that name.
行了妈
All right, Ma.
那个婊♥子♥
That whore.
反正吧就是这个事
Anyway, that's the news.
等一下他怎么回来
Wait, how's he getting back here?
-谁 -你♥爸♥啊谁
- Who? - Your father, who.
-回来做什么 -他的葬礼
- For what? - His funeral.
-什么葬礼 -什么葬礼
- What funeral? - "What funeral?"
那个混♥蛋♥都这样对你了
After everything that asshole did?
他仍然是我丈夫
He's still my husband.
我得把他安葬入土