戏里戏外（2011）

前情提要
我他妈才不做游戏节目主持人
I'm not gonna be a fucking game show host.
这事可以给你挣一大笔钱
This could be serious money for you,
而现在
and right now,
你正需要这么一大笔钱
you need serious money.
我不必喜欢你 你也不必喜欢我
I don't have to like you. You don't have to like me.
-不担心 -我挺激动的
- Not to worry. - I'm excited about this.
我知道
Yeah, I know you are.
我读到的时候就觉得
When I read the thing, I was like,
天哪 他们在做我们那部戏
"Oh, my God, they're making our show."
不是 其实我和贝贝做的这部戏
No, actually, the show Bev and I are doing
和你我当时写的那一部差很多
is vastly different from that thing you and I kicked around.
并没有
Well, that's not true.
我不会让私事影响了工作
I'm not going to let my personal issues get in the way.
为此我们非常非常感激
For which we are very, very appreciative.
话虽如此 我还是想做一个小小的改变
That said, there's one small change that I'd like to make.
很抱歉我迟到了 这太让人激动了
I'm so sorry I'm late. This is exciting, isn't it?
我觉得让蒂姆来负责这部戏比较好
I think it's best if Tim runs the show.
《戏里戏外》第五季第一集
《箱子》前情提要
Previously on The Box,
寇久用一百只仓鼠来攻击杰西卡
it was payback time for Jessica
杰西卡决心要报复
when Kojo disadvantaged her with 100 hamsters.
那么多仓鼠
That's too many hamsters.
所有人都认为她会反击
Everyone assumed she would retaliate,
但杰西卡在下一盘大棋
but Jessica had a bigger plan.
她和乔纳森组成了联盟
She and Jonathan formed an alliance
把积分合到一起
and pooled their points.
给科尔西的箱子里
They gave Kelsey
加了48小时吉尔伯特·高特弗里德
48 hours of Gilbert Gottfried in her box.
惩罚项目
吉尔伯特·高特弗里德
Gilbert Gottfried.
喜剧演员
亚比米勒说
"And Abimelech said,
你们看见什么了
'What did thou see?'"
与此同时 扎克降低了雷夫的屋顶
Meanwhile, Zach lowered Rafe's ceiling,
所以雷夫将扎克的箱子填满干草作为报复
so Rafe paid Zach back by filling his box with hay.
这成为了压死骆驼的最后一根稻草
It turned out to be the last straw,
在第36天
and on day 36,
扎克h被除名了
Zach was eliminated from the game.
现在只剩六名选手
With only six players left,
丹妮卡一路连胜
Danika went on a winning streak.
-太好了 -连续回答四个关键问题
- Yes! - Answering four primo questions in a row...
获得了46分的领先
amassing a total of 46 advantages.
-回答正确 -太好了
- That is correct. - Yes, whoo!
她会用这些点数去报复乔纳森吗
Will she use them - to exact revenge on Jonathan?
还是会用来给自己买♥♥件奢侈品
Or will she spend them on a major luxury item for herself?
今晚我们在《箱子》中一探究竟
Find out tonight as we open up The Box.
17周的时间
17 weeks...
7个人
只有一个人能打败
only one will beat
箱子
The Box.
待机 准备请马特上场
Okay, standby to cue Matt.
请马特上场
Cue Matt.
欢迎来到《箱子》第37天的节目
Welcome to day 37 of The Box.
我们直接开始
Let's get right to it
看看箱友们都在准备些什么
and see what our box-mates are up to.
我有种感觉
I have a feeling that
科尔西可能已经被逼到绝路了
Kelsey might just be at the end of her rope.
神向摩西说道
"And the Lord spoke to Moses saying,
让以色列人
'Let the children of Israel
离开你的土地
go out of your land.'"
打扰一下
Sorry to interrupt.
科尔西 我得问问
Kelsey, gotta ask,
这是目前为止最糟糕的惩罚吗
is this the worst disadvantage so far?
是的 毫无疑问
Oh, yeah. No question.
神会惩戒你的
God will smite you for that.
吉尔伯特 你感觉如何
So, Gilbert, how's it going for you?
这里完全是
Oh, it's a festival of joy
欢乐的海洋
and light in here.
你还挺享受的
Having a good time, are you?
那肯定了 跟年轻版的凯西·贝茨
How could I not, being stuck in a box
美国实力派演员
一起关在一个箱子里
with young Kathy Bates?
好的 我们回头再聊
All right, we'll check back in with you soon.
摩西说
"And Moses said..."
-丹妮卡 -嗨马特
- Danika. - Hi, Matt.
46分胜点
So, 46 advantages.
目前为止节目里最大的领先
More than anyone in the game so far.
-恭喜我了 -每个人都非常想知道
- Yay me. - Everyone's dying to know.
你会用这些点数来对乔纳森
Are you gonna use 'em to do something
做一些更糟糕的事吗
even worse to Jonathan?
虽然我不知道还能糟糕到哪去
Although I don't know what that could possibly be.
还是说你会给自己买♥♥些好东西
Or are you gonna buy something incredible for yourself?
-我想... -等等 先别回答
- I think-Wait, wait, don't answer yet.
待会会揭晓答案
We'll find out when we come back.
广♥告♥之后马上回来
Right after this.
四号♥机
Camera four.
切出
And we're out.
-你简直无敌了 -念台词而已
- You are killing it. - Just saying the words.
-超级有趣 -今晚的节目真棒
- It's so fun. - Such a good show tonight.
你觉得她会拿她的点数做什么
What do you think she's gonna do with her advantages?
我他妈不在乎
I don't fucking care.
看这是谁来了
Ah, and look who's here.
一周来了两次
Hey, twice in one week.
开什么玩笑 我根本不舍得走开
Are you kidding? I can't stay away.
这是我现在最喜欢的节目了
It's my new favorite show.
收视率不错吧
Liking those numbers, huh?
岂止不错
Liking 'em?
我睡我老婆的时候都在想它
They're what I think about when I'm screwing my wife.
观众太热情了
Whoa, what a great crowd!
我要给你们看个东西
I'm gonna show you all a little something
明天会铺满各大报刊亭
that's gonna be hitting the newsstands tomorrow.
猜猜这周的《人物》杂♥志♥封面是谁
Guess who's on the cover of this week's People magazine?
马特·勒箱子
Matt Le Box!
过来
Come on over here.
干得漂亮
Very impressive.
你和琼贝内排在一起
You're right up there with JonBent
还有一个减肥80磅的女的
and some girl who lost 80 pounds.
美国著名悬案受害小女孩
行了 吃屎去吧
All right, go fuck yourself.
《人物》杂♥志♥封面
Cover of People.
不错
Not bad.
还有 你会进入他们
Also, by the way, you are going to be
全世界最美人物的名单
on their World's Most Beautiful List.
十年没上过那个榜单了
Oh, haven't been on that in ten years.
你现在又美起来了 这位朋友
Well, you're beautiful again, my friend.
更重要的是 你有什么好消息要告诉我吗
More important, what do you got for me?
你收到一份非常慷慨的报价
Well, you received a very generous offer
请你参加《名人换妻》
from Celebrity Wife Swap.
我才不参加《换妻》
I'm not doing Wife Swap.
《名人换妻》
Celebrity Wife Swap.
我连婚都没结
I'm not even fucking married.
报价挺不错的
It's a good offer.
-马特 -我想演戏
- Hey, Matt! - Ugh, I'm talking about acting.
每个人都爱你 这点你知道
Look, everybody loves you. You know that.
但现在他们就是这么看你的
But this is how they see you now.
把我当一个游戏节目主持人
As a fucking game show host?
这活我才干了五分钟
I've been doing this for five minutes.
-我演戏都演了... -我知道
- I've been an actor for -- - I know, I know.
电视台那边呢 艾略特·沙拉刚还告诉我
Well, what about the network? Elliot Salad just told me
他跟老婆上♥床♥的时候都想着我
I'm what he thinks about when he's inside his wife.
这肯定是件好事吧
That's gotta be good for 13 on air.
他们就想看到你呆在这个箱子里
Look, this is the box that they like you in.