布莱克书店（2000）

三只99雪糕 谢谢
(# Eerie music)
(Whispered chanting)
(# Music intensifies)
Three 99s, please.
我盯着人看 我盯着女人看
I'm staring. I'm staring at women.
都是因为太热了 还有暴露的衣服 弄得我快发疯了
It's the heat, all the dresses. It's driving me nuts.
天气好热阿 太热了 气温有多少度?
It's very hot. Too hot. What's the temperature?
不用了 我不是12岁的小孩子
No, I'm not 12.
不用了 拿开! - 我只是表示友好
No, go away! - Only trying to be nice.
抱歉 我很累 我一个星期没睡了
Sorry, I'm tired. I haven't slept in a week.
我那间公♥寓♥闷得让人透不过气来
My flat is suffocating.
气温多少度了? - 不要再问了 行吗?
What's the temperature? - Stop asking that, will you?
不能盯了 不能盯了 - 你不盯着我看呀
Mustn't stare. - You don't stare at me.
你是我的老朋友了
You're my oldest friend.
再说你看起来一副狼狈的样子
Anyway, you look like you just fell out of a tree.
回家好好休息一下
Go home and get some rest.
在哪儿我可睡不着 我感觉那些墙壁越来越靠近我了
I can't sleep there. It's like the walls are closing in on me.
看看她
Look at her.
我打赌她的头发是在小溪和牛奶里洗的
I bet she washes her hair in streams and milks things.
她都没有流汗, 她没汗腺吗?
She's not even sweating. Has she not glands?
老天 81度了 81度!
Jesus, it's 81 degrees. 81!
别挡住风景 - 但是可能回升到88度阿
Don't block the frock. - But it might get to 88.
不可能的 不可能! - 闭嘴吧 去洗个冷水澡
And it can't. It can't! - Shut up and have a cold bath.
我得找个女朋友 不然会变成那种成天盯着女人看的变♥态♥
I should get a girlfriend before I turn into one of those freaks
没错 没错 我要躺下了
who just gawp at women. - Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna lie down.
对不起 你有...?
Excuse me. Have you...?
哦 - 你也有一本
Oh. - One for you too.
你知道我们想要什么吗? - 我们兴趣不同的哦
You know what we want? - We like different stuff.
你们要去度假 你们需要闲书, 不同趣味的闲书
You're going on holiday, you want trash but different trash -
你们女人喜欢社会方面的 可信的人物
you women want social themes, believable characters.
你喜欢情节精彩 有悬念的 这一本你们两个都合适
You want plots, suspense. This'll do you both.
这个临时雇员29岁 她不可能有男朋友 哦 天
This temp's 29, she can't get a boyfriend. Oh, my God.
听起来很棒 - 我不会喜欢的
Sounds great. - No way.
她还有12小时的时间去阻止一场 和中国之间的核战争
And she's got 12 hours to stop a nuclear war.
好的 - 那就每人一本
All right. - One each, then.
(Snoring)
(Snoring continues)
出去 女人以为你是我女朋友 快走
Get out. Women think you're my girlfriend. Go.
就几个小时阿 在我的公♥寓♥我一躺下就会翻来覆去
Just for a few hours. In my place I lie there writhing
很不爽的 晕晕乎乎的...
and sticky and glistening...
别说了! 我就会找个夏天的女朋友 把这段时间熬过去
Stop it! I'm getting a summer girlfriend till this wears off.
她会是一个很阳光的 有头发的
She'll be a summery girl, with hair
还有懂得户外运动的 很阳光的朋友
and summery friends who know how to be outside.
她会打网球 光着脚穿裙子
She'll play tennis and wear dresses and have bare feet.
到了秋天 我就会甩了她! 因为她是我的夏天女孩
And in the autumn I'll ditch her! Cos she's my summer girl.
快点 起来! 回家去! 起来!
Come on, get up! Go home! Get up!
再见!
(Grumbles sleepily) - Bye-bye!
(Siren wailing)
(Creaking)
(Creaking)
(Grinding)
(Crash) - (Shrieks)
88度 那又怎么样? 你到底怎么了?
88. What's the big deal? What happens to you?
你不想知道 - 我想知道
You don't wanna know. - I do.
不 你不想知道! - 不要再这样了
No, you don't. - Don't do that!
你越是说我不想知道 我就越想知道
I want to know even more if you tell me I don't.
相信我 你不想知道
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
你不知道为什么我想知道
Well, you don't wanna know why I want to know.
哦? 那是为什么呢? - 哈! 瞧?
Oh? Why's that? - Ha! See?
我有种特殊情况 - 说? 叫什么?
I have a condition. - What? What's it called?
戴夫综合症
Dave's syndrome.
都是你编出来的 就像你的那些胡说八道
You're making this up. It's like your fudge thing.
你吃很多因为...
You have to eat lots because...
才不会让我变成聋子
Stops me going deaf.
是的 还有一个... 你只坐篷车
Yeah, and the other one. What... You only travel in vans.
不! 正好相反! 千万不要让我坐篷车!
No! The other way! Never let me be put in a van!
垃圾 为了吸引人注意的垃圾
It's rubbish! Attention-seeking rubbish.
你好 你有本书叫...?
Hi. Do you have a book...?
谢谢
Thank you.
你想要一本比较凉爽的吗? 在这么热的天最合适了
Would you like a cool one? Lovely on a hot day.
凉爽的书?
Cool books?
直接从冰箱里出来的
Straight from the fridge.
哦 谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
哦...
Ohhh...
哦...
Ohhhhh.
(Ding)
好 如果我告诉你我的公♥寓♥的墙
OK, if I told you that the walls of my flat
是会移♥动♥的 你会觉得我疯了吗?
were actually moving in, would you think I was strange?
不会 我会叫你到我家去 照看我的小孩子们
No, I'd ask you to come round and look after my small children.
如果你不相信我 就到我那里去 我们一起看墙到底动不动
If you don't believe me, come round and we'll watch the wall.
别发疯了 我们会在房♥间里面 看着温度计的 不是吗 伯纳?
No, we'll be watching the thermometer. Won't we, Bernard?
我想不好 这很难抉择 是墙 还是温度计...
It's an impossible choice - walls, thermometers...
我只希望我扔硬币选择的时候 它就爆♥炸♥炸死我好了
I'll just have to hope when I flip the coin it explodes and kills me.
弗兰! 你好 最近好吗?
Fran! Hello. How's it going?
租金很可能会在近期涨价
Might be a slight rent increase soon.
灯泡的价格
Price of light bulbs.
这是什么 2B号♥房♥? 从来就没有过2B号♥房♥...
What's this - 2B? There was never a 2B...
这是一扇新的门
This is a new door.
你移♥动♥了我那该死的墙 然后弄了一个新的房♥间
You have moved my bloody wall and put a room in.
你真有趣 弗兰! 这是维多利亚式的房♥子阿
You're funny, Fran! It's a Victorian house.
很多都是设计了加倍透视效果的
A lot of them were built with redouble perspective.
你会觉得房♥间比实际大了或者小了2倍
You might think a room's twice as big or small as it really is.
这里从来都没有过1间房♥
There was never a flat here.
这是因为天气太热... 把你搞糊涂了
It's the heat, love... playing tricks with your mind.
不要, 这样很没礼貌
No, don't. That's rude, love.
你好
Hello.
哦 好啊 你是在2A房♥的
Oh, hi. Are you in 2A?
我在2号♥房♥, 根本没有2A房♥
I'm in 2. There is no 2A.
哦 别这样, 这间一直都有的
Oh, come on. This flat's always been here.
还记得布雷斯韦尔吗? 还有古帕斯?
Remember the Bracewells? And the Guptas?
练吹♥喇♥叭♥的小桑杰
Little Sanjay with his trumpet practice.
玛驰曼先生 我想请你修一下这个窥视孔
Mr Marchman, I meant to ask you to fix the peephole.
我可以从外面这里看到里面 却不能从里面看到外面
I can see into the flat from out here but I can't see out.
好奇怪哦 - 很快就会修好的 亲爱的 很快
It's weird. - Soon, love, soon.
别听他的 这都是他编出来的 这是一个新房♥间!
Don't listen to him, he's making this up, this is a new room!
她有点... - 我才没有...
She's a bit... - I am not a bit...
你想喝杯咖啡谈一下这个吗?
Would you like to have a coffee and talk about this?
哦 是啊 我倒翻了的咖啡 你用镊子一粒粒捡起来
Oh, yeah. Coffee that I spilt, you picked up with tweezers
然后现在你反过来请我喝
and now you're gonna serve it to me.
好吧 是有点神经 不过我说的其它事都是真的
OK, that was mad. But the rest is true.
我想要回我的空间! - 姑娘们 姑娘们...姑娘们
I want my flat back! - Girls, girls... girls.
你们都是很讨人爱的姑娘
You're both such lovely girls.
很快你们就会融洽和好了
You'll be sharing sugar in no time.
别打架哦 如果你们打的话
Don't fight. And if you do,
就斯文点用枕头...打吧
fight nice with pillows and... jimjams.
怎么开着暖气!
The heating's on!
我想看看到了88度你会怎么样
I want to see what happens to you at 88 degrees.
别再这样了 - 都是你编出来的
Don't do that again. - You're making this up.
我不要装病的人在我的书店里 去把我的棒棒糖拿来
I will have no malingerers in my shop. Go and fetch my lolly.
原来是房♥东
It was the landlord.
他移♥动♥了我的墙 然后新弄了一个租♥房♥♥
He moved my wall and put in another flat
现在有另外一个女人在我的地方
and now there is this woman in my space.
她长得怎么样? - 你知道哪种德性的
What's she like? - Oh, you know the type.
她们老是说 哈咯 嗨
They're all, "Helloooo," and "Hiiii."
她居然还请我喝咖啡 很高明的一个贱♥人♥
She even asked me in for coffee. A really clever bitch.
我觉得你应该找一位律师
I think you should get a lawyer.
贵的那种 找人假扮一个吧
Expensive. Get someone to pretend to be one.
找个看起来像是律师的 孤傲的 冷血的 狡猾的
Someone who's like a lawyer - arrogant, cruel, crooked,
一个说谎的 真正的混♥蛋♥ 这样你就可以搞定你的房♥东他们了
a liar, a real bastard, that'd sort them out.
不要 我不会那么做的 - 哦 帮个忙吧
No, I'm not doing it. - Oh, go on.
等你有了女朋友 我给你当参谋
When you get a girlfriend, I'll give you a reference.
我会为了你而说谎 给你说好话
I'll lie for you, say you're OK.
好的 就这么说定了
All right. Deal.
(Buzzing)
(Grinding)
别吃太快
Not so fast.
我是2号♥房♥弗兰 卡曾詹莫的律师 她是我的当事人