少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S06E11

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:16 p.m.

Hey, watch out! Pregnant girl comin' through.
小心孕妇要进来了
Man, I'm hungry.
我天饿死了
Sad I had to specify "girl."
我还得说清楚是"妇"
Are you okay? Are you comfortable?
你还好吗有没有不舒服
All right, nobody touch her!
谁都不准碰她
The doctor said she could explode at any moment!
医生说她随时可能爆♥炸♥
Give birth, Danny.
是生孩子丹尼
The doctor said that I could "give birth" at any moment.
医生说我随时可能"生孩子"
But I'm fine, all right? It was just false labor.
不过我没事好吗假临产而已
Apparently it happens all the time.
经常会有这种事
Well, having been pregnant now for almost four hours,
我怀孕也快四个小时了
I think I'd know for sure
我觉得如果有人
if a person was really about to crawl head first
真的要头朝下从我肚子里爬出来
out of my body.
我肯定知道
Oh, she'll know. Trust me.
她会知道的相信我
That chick from alien will have nothin' on her, just--
那个外星小鸡仔什么都不会穿就...
Mom!
妈
Right, right, right.
好了好了好了
But good news... The second one just pops right out.
但也有好消息第二个会直接掉出来
One minute you're dancin' at a Bon Jovi concert, yeah...
前一秒你还在邦乔维的演唱会上跳舞...
And the next, someone's all like, "Oh my gosh,
下一秒就有人说 "我的天啊
who dropped a baby on the floor? Ohh..."
谁把宝宝丢地上了"
I can't believe they made me buy you a ticket.
真不敢相信他们还逼我给你买♥♥票
Now are you sure that there is absolutely nothing we can get you?
你确定不需要我们帮你拿点什么吗
I am feeling very maternal.
我现在母性大发
Well, I know it's late, but I am a little hungry.
我知道现在很晚了但我有点饿了
Maybe pizza? Ooh, perfect.
吃点披萨吗太好了
But you know what would be even better? Pancakes!
但你知道什么更好吃吗煎饼
Oh, I'm-- I'm not really in the mood for pancakes.
我我现在不太想吃煎饼
Yes, yes! And there's that place on Bleecker
对对布里克街上有一家店
that's open all night!
通宵营业
I love that place!
我超喜欢那家店
They'll be back.
他们会回来的
Oh my, okay...
我的好吧
Oh my god, I'm sorry...
我的天啊对不起
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change directions.*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
Are you done?
你看完了吗
Yeah, I'm done.
嗯看完了
Are you done? Okay!
你看完了吗好了
Oh, my-- honey, look.
我的... 宝贝
I know the doctor said
我知道医生说
I shouldn't do anything too strenuous,
我不能做剧烈运动
but do you think maybe I could not do anything in my own apartment?
但你觉得我不能在我自己家里待着吗
Well, what if we're all alone
那如果家里只有我们
and I have to go to the bathroom
然后我必须要去厕所
or get some water?
或者拿点水喝呢
What then, Riley, what then?
那怎么办莱丽那怎么办
Ah, yes, what then?
对哈那怎么办
You know, well, now that you mention it,
既然你提起这事
um, I am a little thirsty.
我有点渴了
Right. I'm on it.
好我去拿水
Uh, hey, Ben. I need to get Riley some water.
本我要去给莱丽拿水
You mind watchin' her while I go to the kitchen?
我去厨房♥时你可以帮我看着她吗
You got it.
没问题
We're back!
我们回来啦
So cute. How was dance class today?
太可爱了今天的舞蹈课怎么样
Eh, you know, it was all right.
还行吧
Mainly sat in the back with the only other cool mom
基本就是跟另一个酷妈坐在后面
and made fun of the awkward and ugly kids, so...
嘲笑那些又笨又丑的孩子所以...
I was actually talking to my daughter.
其实我刚刚是在问我的女儿
So, how was dance class today?
今天的舞蹈课怎么样
Who's my mommy?
我妈妈是谁
Okay. Your mommy, that's new.
好吧你的妈妈这是个新话题
Well, we talked about this, remember?
我们谈过这件事的记得吗
Her name's Angela and she lives in los angeles.
她叫安吉拉住在洛杉矶
Why?
为什么
We just got lucky, I guess.
我想我们只是比较走运吧
Ben!
本
I'm sorry, the books all say to be honest!
抱歉书上都说要诚实啊
What's all this about, anyway?
不过这到底是怎么回事啊
Well, I'm guessing it has something to do
我想是因为艾玛的
with the mother/daughter talent show
这门课正在举办
Emma's class is having.
母女才艺秀
Mother/daughter talent show?
母女才艺秀
Okay, this is wrong on so many levels.
好吧这事错得太离谱了
How dare they make Emma feel bad for only having a father.
他们怎么能让艾玛因为只有父亲而难过呢
That's my job.
那是我的责任
Hey, hey, hey, all this anger and negativity
喂喂你们这么多愤怒消极的情绪
is stressing Riley out.
让莱丽压力太大了
Here. I'll hold it while you take a sip.
来你喝我来端着
You wanna know what's really stressing me out?
你想知道真正让我感到压力的是什么吗
How cold it is in here.
就是这里太冷了
Uh, Danny, do you-- do you think
丹尼你能...
you could go get my blue blanket,
你能把我的蓝色毯子拿来
and if you don't see it, just keep looking.
如果你没看到就继续找
It's definitely real.
绝对是有的
Got it!
明白
Oh, hey, Ben!
嘿本
You've gotta promise if anything happens,
你得答应我如果发生什么事
you'll be there for Riley.
你一定要陪着莱丽
You got it. Treat her like the weird kid
交给我吧把她当成吃浆糊
who eats paste and has mittens pinned to his jacket.
还把手套钉在外套上的怪小孩一样对待
Oh wait, that was you!
等等那不就是你吗
Dude, I'm serious.
伙计我是认真的
Brother to brother.
兄弟之间的承诺
If I'm not there when the baby comes,
如果孩子出生的时候我不在
you gotta promise to be there to take care of my wife and my son.
你要答应我照顾好我的妻子和儿子
Yeah. Danny, of course, I promise.
当然丹尼我答应你
You hear that, baby? We're on our own.
你听到了吗宝宝我们只能靠自己了
Oh, hey, man, anything happening yet?
伙计现在有什么进展吗
No, but I don't have time right now--
没有但我现在没有时间...
Oh, my god, I'm so happy for you.
天啊我太为你开心了
Tucker told me about the false labor
塔克尔和我说了假性分娩的事
and I totally get how stressful that can be.
我完全明白这压力有多大
I went through it for weeks,
我经历了好几周
but at least it increased the value of my push gift.
但是至少这增加了我的分娩礼物的价值
I got this sapphire ring.
我收到了这个蓝宝石戒指
I'm sorry, your what gift?
不好意思你的什么礼物
Push gift. It's what a husband gets his wife
分娩礼物就是丈夫给他撕心裂肺
for pushing a bowling ball through a straw?
生小孩的妻子送的礼物
You got her one, right?
你也送她了吧
No...
没有...
Hello, worst husband ever.
你好啊史上最烂的丈夫
Way to start off on the wrong foot.
准备开始关系走下坡路吧
Babe, babe, babe... Remember we talked
亲爱的亲爱的还记得我们谈过
about not saying everything that comes into your mind?
不要说出任何你脑子想的话吗
Yeah. This is one of those moments.
这就属于那些情况之一
It's gonna be fine, man.
没事的哥们儿
No. No, it's not gonna be fine.
不怎么会没事
The baby's gonna come, and I'm gonna be standing there
孩子就要出生了而我只能在旁边站着
with nothing in my hand besides a used umbilical cord!
手上拿着一根用过的脐带
That's it. I'm gonna go down
没错我要去街角
to the jewelry store on the corner.
那家珠宝店
Dude, what is the matter with you?
哥们儿你怎么了
Man, you don't wanna pay retail. Dude.
你不必去零售店送钱啊老兄
Man, look, I'll hook you up, okay? Trust me, man, I got a guy.
听着我来帮你牵线好吗我认识个行家
Suddenly this necklace you got me doesn't seem so special.
突然就觉得你给我买♥♥的项链一点也不特别了呢
Yes, I knew she'd start asking questions someday,
没错我知道她迟早会有疑问
But that's not what this is about.
可这都不是重点