一起单身（2018）

这家店挺好 但不能给我多点奶茶吗
I mean, this place is good, but can I get a splash of tea in there?
都是珍珠
It's all balls.
珍珠奶茶是台♥湾♥传统美食
Boba tea is an ancient Taiwanese tradition
起源于上个世纪八十年代
that dates all the way back to the 1980s.
你能有起码的尊重吗 谢谢
Could you show it a little bit of respect? Thanks.
是他们不尊重我
They're not respecting me!
上次我来的时候就投诉过珍珠太多
I complained last time I was here that they were over-balling me,
他们屡教不改 就是针对我
and now they're over-balling me just to piss me off.
多给你珍珠还投诉
Complaining about extra boba.
怪不得说我们是垮掉的一代
This is why people hate our generation.
我的奶茶珍珠比例没这么低
My boba tea ratio is off!
谁管你的奶茶珍珠比例啊
Nobody cares about your boba tea ratio.
-我在乎 -这样吧
- I care! - You know what?
说不定珍珠奶茶专家就喜欢这个比例
Maybe the boba tea artist felt like that boba tea ratio,
你应该尊重他们
and maybe you should respect them.
-你就是嫉妒我的珍珠比你多 -班吉
- You're just mad that I have more boba balls than you.- Benji?
-夏德 好久不见 -好久不见
- Shad! What's up, man? - Yeah, what's up, dude?
-最近怎样 -挺好 见到你很开心
- How are you? - Great! Good to see you, dude.
我也是 你有好多珍珠
Same, dude. You got a lot of balls there?
-对 他们给我太多了 -是 经常这样
- Yeah, they over-ball me here. - Yeah, they do that.
-这是无声的反击 -这人是谁
- It's passive-aggressive. -Who is this guy?
他是夏德
This is Shad.
-你好 -我高中的朋友
- What's up? - He was my friend in high school.
我怎么不知道你高中还有朋友
I didn't know you had a friend in high school!
-对 我有三个 -竟然...
- Yeah, I had, like, three. - Wha...!
我和班吉在高中剧社 完全就是
Benji and I, we were kind of like
本·阿弗莱克和马特·达蒙一样的好搭档 好基友
the Matt Damon and Ben Affleck of high school theater.
-夏德 -的确是啊
- Shad! - We were!
-什么 -但这家伙... 他一直是主角
- What?! - But this guy... This guy was always the star.
他们甚至把"窈窕淑女"
They even changed "My Fair Lady"
改成"谦谦君子" 就为让他演主角
to "My Fair Gentleman" just so he could play the lead.
也不错 不然没那么多男性角色
Well, there's never enough parts for guys, so that's good.
对了 说起我们高中
Dude! Speaking of our old high school,
我其实在那儿指导学生排练"罗密欧与朱丽叶"
I'm actually directing "Romeo and Juliet" there,
但我要失约了 因为刚签订了新剧"球手"
but I have to bail, because I just booked a parton "Ballers."
-好棒啊 -我很兴奋
- Cool, man. - It's pretty dope.
很难以置信 但... 真的太临时了
This is crazy, but I... It's very short notice.
所以你能代替我去学校剧社吗
Do you think you could cover for me?
好 我可以
Yes, I could cover!
-艾丝特 别抢我的夏德 -不好意思
- Esther! Get your own Shad. - Sorry.
喜怒无常的青少年就是我生命的养料啊 对不起
Dramatic teens are my bread and butter. I'm sorry.
面包和奶酪才是你生命的养料
Bread and cheese is your bread and butter.
两者不矛盾
Both can be true.
夏德 你介意艾丝特
Shad, is it OK if my friend Esther
也一起去导演吗
joins me on this directing venture?
好... 也可以 我不介意
Yeah, that... that work, I really don't care.
只要能顶替我 你带谁都行
As long as you cover for me, you can bring whoever you want.
就... 发邮件给我 好吗
Just... E-mail me, all right?
-我把所有东西发给你 -好 包我身上
- I'll shoot you the deets, everything. - All right, cool, man.
-谢谢 -你喜欢吗 这是我的新名片
- Thank you. - You like that? It's my new business card.
正面是我头像 背面是互联网电影资料库
It's got my headshot on front, IMDb on back.
我这个资料库
I'm familiar with the headshot medium.
-谢谢 -好
- Thank you. - Yeah.
-那好 邮件给我 好吗 -好的
- All right, e-mail me, all right? - All right, cool.
-回头见 -下次见
- Nice to see you, man. - Same!
他在"法律与秩序"里演过一具尸体
He was a corpse on "Law & Order"?
好幸运 这是我进军演艺界的梦想舞台
Lucky! That's my dream entry-level acting job.
演得好吗
Good?
好
Yeah.
真好啊 第一天上班
Well, that's cool that you decided
你就决定穿得像在美元树[美国折扣商店]购物的青少年妈妈
to dress like a teen mom Christmas shopping at Dollar Tree for your first day at work.
划重点 "青少年" 他们会跟我有共鸣的
Keyword "teen." They're gonna relate to me.
到处是高中回忆杀
I'm getting high school flashbacks.
有次我上学路上
One time, I was walking up to school,
林赛·皮尔斯问我要不要来根烟
and Lindsay Pierce asked me if I wanted a cigarette.
不用说 我进教室前就跟她绝交了
Needless to say, I un-friended her ass before I got to homeroom.
我学校里有差不多十个林赛这种女生
There were, like, ten Lindsays in my school.
没一个愿意跟我说话
None of them would talk to me.
代课老师来了
Substitute teacher coming through!
老师 有没有人说过
Sir, I don't know if anyone told you,
你的头发像大猩猩的阴毛
but a gorilla left his pubes on your head.
别啊 开不起玩笑啊
Come on. Don't be like that.
大猩猩可是美丽又高贵的动物啊
Gorillas are beautiful, majestic creatures!
闭上你的狗嘴
Shut your degenerate ass up.
长得丑不是他的错
It's not his fault he's ugly!
大猩猩才没有阴毛 它们浑身毛是一样的
Gorillas don't even have pubes. Their fur is consistent.
班吉 别跟那孩子较真啦
Benji, don't let that kid get to you, OK?
那种男生 也就高中时期能嚣张了
Boys like that, they peak in high school.
你还没到达你的人生巅峰呢
You haven't even reached your peak yet.
可能永远到不了
You may never peak.
准备好了吗
You ready?
好戏开场
Let's do this!
-演员们好啊 -大家好
- Hello, actors! - Hello!
-请说 -老师 我不是演员
- Yes? - Sir, I'm not an actor.
我叫凯文 我是技术员
I'm Kevin. I'm your technician.
非常好 凯文 给我来杯斯奈普[英国饮料]
Wonderful, Kevin. Get me a Snapple.
大家好 我是班吉
Hi, everyone. I am Benji.
很高兴来到这里
I am so excited to be here.
我其实是你们的校友
I'm actually a former student.
你们可能有人认识 或听说过我
Some of you might recognize me, or maybe you've heard of me
我在倍受赞誉的"绿野仙踪"里
from the critically acclaimed production of "The Wizard of Oz,"
演过男巫和胆小的狮子
where I played the Wizard and the Cowardly Lion.
我穿衣服脱衣服都很快
I can get dressed and undressed really fast.
跟一屋子未成年说这个好像怪怪的
Is that a weird thing to tell a room full of children?
不是... 你们懂我意思吧
It wasn't... You guys got what I meant, right?
-他在干嘛 -没关系... 我是艾丝特 你们可以叫我"艾斯黛拉"
- What? - Anyways... I'm Esther, and you can call me "Estella,"
那才是我想要的名字
'cause that's the version of my name I always wanted.
为什么呢 因为只要进了这扇门
Why? Because once we walk through those doors,
我们可以成为任何人
we're anyone we want to be!
这就是我们的主题
That's what we're bringin'.
你们是不是订了一些
Now, did someone here order some journals
可以发现自我的日记本呢
with a side of self-discovery?
你搞这日记本干嘛
What is it with you and the journaling?
当这里是戒毒所吗
Are you trying to run a sober living house or something?
在我高中戏剧课上 我们就会写日记
In my high school drama class, we journaled,
这样能深入挖掘
because it allowed us to dive deeper
我们自己和饰演的角色
into ourselves and our characters.
她高中演的角色都只有一句台词
Every role she got in high school had one line.
但我能掌握他们的心理
But I knew their psychology.
优雅的派对达人很优雅 参加很多派对
Elegant Party goer was elegant. She went to parties.
她在第14页上台 然后从右边下台 有趣的选择
She entered on page 14. She exited stage right, interesting choice.
好了 别害羞 你们可以在日记里
All right, now, don't be shy. You can write
写下心内深处最黑暗的秘密
your deepest, darkest secrets in these journals,
除了我之外 没人会看到
because no one is gonna read them, except for me.
我可以要那本紫色闪粉的吗
Can I have the purple glittery one?
这本其实是我的
That one's actually mine.
但... 我把它给你
But... I want you to have it.
好啦 我们玩个游戏叫"嗞啦嚓"
All right, we're gonna start with a game called "Zip Zap Zop."
游戏有点傻 但能帮我们
It's a little silly, but we're just trying
给身体和脑子热热身
to warm up our bodies and our minds.
太好了 你在这里... 我想跟你道歉
Good. There you are... I just wanted to apologize.
对不起 我们在做剧社活动
I'm sorry. We're doing a theatre exercise.
留堂室可能在大厅那边
Detention's probably down the hall.
我是主演 罗密欧
I'm the lead. Romeo.
老师 您的斯奈普
Your Snapple, sir.
小凯技术员 他真是这剧的主演吗
Techy Kev, is that guy really the lead of the play?
千真万确 老师 他叫洛根
Affirmative, sir. That's Logan.
对了 我说你长了"大猩猩阴毛"
Look, earlier, when I called you "Gorilla Pubes",
是人身攻击 我知道那样不对
that was body-shaming, and that is not OK.
-谢谢 -在这颜值至上的