韩塞尔和葛雷特的格林世界大冒险（2021）

很久很久以前 童话故事其实是很可怕的
Once upon a time, fairy tales were awesome.
我知道你不相信
We know, you don't believe us.
你一定觉得童话里 到处都是粉扑扑的可爱仙女
You think fairy tales are cute and pink and full of fairies.
但是事实并非如此
Well, they're not.
真正的童话是很恐怖的
Real fairy tales are scary.
跟着两个孩子一起进入 黑暗的童话故事吧
Follow two children as they venture off into a dark tale.
这是一个恐怖的故事
A scary tale.
一个奇异的故事
A strange tale.
稍等一下
A... Wait a minute.
你今年几岁了？
Are you even old enough for this?
我不知道你的小心脏能不能承受
You really think you can handle it?
很久很久以前 一个小女孩回到村子
Once upon a time, a young girl returned to the village
急匆匆跑回家
she had come to call home...
拼命除掉身上的煤灰
...and desperately tried to remove the soot from her clothes.
魔法师知道她发现了他的秘密吗？
Did the warlock know she had learned his secret?
如果他知道 她就会立刻陷入危险
If he did, she was in immediate and horrifying danger.
喔 我的最爱！
Ooh, my favorite kind!
就算他不知道 她的处境依然很危险
And if he didn't, well, she was still in horrifying danger.
完蛋了 完蛋了
This is bad, really bad.
小刷刷 我该怎么办？
What do you think, brushy?
我该留下吗？亨舍尔还下落不明
Should I stay here? Hansel's out there somewhere.
但那个邪恶的魔法师也是
But so is that evil warlock.
你是对的 我不应该让刷子帮我 做重大决定
You're right, I shouldn't base big decisions on advice from brushes.
如果我留下的话 费舍尔寡妇会保护我
Anyway, if I stay here for now, Widow Fischer can keep me safe.
可怜的孩子 你在跟刷子聊天吗？
Ugh, poor kid, talking to her brush?
要不你劝劝这条鱼？她是个混♥蛋♥
Will you talk some sense into this fish? She's being a total jerk.
费舍尔寡妇？
Widow Fischer?
我跟你说了多少次了 叫我费舍尔寡妇
Oh, how many times do I got to tell you, call me Widow Fischer.
我有事跟你说
I have to tell you something.
昨晚你跟我说完 不许去黑暗森林之后…
Last night, after you told me not to go into the deep dark woods...
你还是去了？
You went anyway?
我就知道 我也年轻过
Oh, yeah, I know, kid, I was your age once.
可能吧 应该吧？我们问问鱼吧
Probably. Well, I must have been, right? Let's go ask the fish.
我去了那个年轻人家 他…
I went to that young man's house. He's...
他是个魔法师 他…
He... He's a warlock, and he...
他一直…
He's been...
他一直在绑♥架♥女孩子们！好多女孩！
He's been kidnapping girls! So many of them!
哇！这太疯狂了
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, this is nuts.
疯到抽抽了
Like nuts nuts.
连我都觉得不可思议
And if I think it's nuts, I mean, wow, right?
他从她们身体变出鸟 鸟就是她们的灵魂
He pulls birds out of them, and the birds are their souls,
他偷走她们的心来施法 再用魔法骗更多女孩 好继续施法
and he steals them to get magic to trick more girls so he can get more magic.
他把所有灵魂鸽子关在笼子里…
He keeps all the soul doves in cages and...
你没发现村里几乎没有女孩吗？
Haven't you noticed there are hardly any girls in the village?
有30个男孩 却只有两个女孩
There's, like, 30 boys and two girls!
我就算再闲 也不会按性别统计小孩
Well, I spend surprisingly little time organizing children by gender.
魔法师绑♥架♥了女孩们！ 然后抹去了她们的记忆
The warlock took the girls! And then he erased everyone's memory of them!
行吧 等等
Okay, okay, hello.
如果有人抹掉我的记忆 我会记得 对吧？
If someone erased my memory, I would remember it, right?
格莱特
Ugh! - Okay, Gretel.
那个帅气的年轻人 已经在咱们村生活了
That handsome young man has lived in this village
一百多年
for over a hundred years.
我的曾祖母都没怀疑过他 我凭什么怀疑呢？
If my great-grandmother wasn't suspicious of him, well, why should I be?
-可是… -你去补个觉吧
But... But... But... - Why don't you go have a nap?
我给倒点香喷喷的热鱼茶
And I'm gonna bring you some of me nice, hot fish tea.
金枪三文 你是不是也觉得她疯了？
Does she sound crazy to you too, Tuna McSalmonstein?
有点吧
Yeah, a little.
嘿！小点声
Hey! Shh. Not so loud.
看来费舍尔寡妇是不会帮格莱特了
Clearly, Gretel would receive no help from Widow Fischer.
但起码她不是坐在人皮沙发上
Yeah, but at least she wasn't sitting on a couch covered in human skin,
等着见恶魔
waiting to see the Devil.
嘿！挪一下行吗？
Eugh! - Hey! Could you scooch over?
你愿意把脸贴在别人屁♥股♥上吗？
How would you like a butt in your face?
亨舍尔想 这一切都糟透了 突然…
Hansel was just about to wonder aloud how things could get worse, when...
没多久 亨舍尔再也受不了了
Soon, Hansel couldn't stand it.
就算冒着生命危险 他也要弄清楚 尖叫声是怎么回事
He had to know what that screaming was, even if it killed him.
与此同时…
Meanwhile...
别转移话题 我想知道发生了什么
No, not meanwhile. I wanna see what happens.
耐心点 格莱特做了她一贯会做的事
Patience. Gretel did what had always been comfortable for her,
那就是想计策
she started planning.
没关系 我能想出办法
This is fine. I can think my way out of this.
我的计策是
Here's the plan,
离开这里 决不回头 找到亨舍尔！
get the heck out of here, don't look back, find Hansel!
我亲爱的奶奶
Ah, my beloverated grandmother...
你有天使般的声音
...you have the voice of an angel.
虽然是堕落的天使
A... A fallen angel, of course.
你个小鬼崽子
Oh, you little devil.
那是什么？
What's that?
那是…人味？
Do I smell... ...human?
当然啦 你猜晚餐吃什么？
Of course you do. What do you think we're having for dinner?
甜点是宝宝屁屁松饼
And for dessert, baby bum muffins.
奶奶 你是最好的啦
You're so good to me, Grandmother.
当然 我说的好就是坏
By good I mean evil... ... naturalistically.
我跟你说 今天累死我了
I tell you, it has been a day.
我给那个魔法师送去了更多金发
I had to deliver more of my golden hairs to that warlock
他再缠成魔法金线
who makes magic twine out of them.
累死个人
Ugh, it's exhaustivating.
他没完没了地给我显摆
He just goes on and on and on
他收藏的灵魂鸽子
about his collection of soul doves.
谁在乎他那些收藏啊 真是的
Nobody cares about your collection, buddy.
别的灵魂鸽子收藏家也不会在乎 拜托
Not even other soul dove collectors. Give it a rest.
唉 我真后悔跟那家伙交易
Man, I wish I'd never made a deal with that guy.
放松点 亲爱的
Relax, dear.
你需要好好休息
You just need a good rest.
让我安抚你入睡吧
Let me soothe you to sleep.
我亲爱的小香肠
Oh, dear little sausage.
亨舍尔发现了机会
Hansel saw his chance.
如果他能偷走恶魔的三根金发 他就能逃走
He could escape if he could steal three of the Devil's golden hairs.
又是人类的气味
There's that human smell again.
哦对
Oh, right.
但是亨舍尔做了件不同寻常的事
But then, Hansel did something unusual for him.
他没有行动…
Instead of taking action...
而是思考起来
...he thought about it.
如果我拔他的头发 他就会醒来 把我变成家具！
Uh, if I pluck his hairs, he'll wake up and turn me into furniture!
我算幸运的了
I'm one of the lucky ones.
你还没见厕所呢
I mean, have you met the toilet?
格莱特会怎么做呢？
What would Gretel do?
她会想出计策
Gretel would come up with a plan.
亨舍尔不清楚怎么想计策
Hansel wasn't sure how plans were made.
但他很清楚 这需要头脑和努力
But he was pretty sure it involved brains and effort.
看来一时半会没戏了
I think this is gonna take a while.
没错
Indeed.
格莱特正要离开村子 冒险独自进入树林
Gretel was ready to leave the village and take her chances alone in the woods.
但有东西拦住了她
But something held her back.
-黛博拉 -简 -狄奥德琳达
Deborah. Jane. Theodelinda.
-安娜贝尔 -吉娜薇 -马特利达 -莎拉 -奥萝拉
Annabelle. Guinevere. Hannah. Sarah. Aurora.
我还不能走
I can't go. Not yet.
如果我走了 他还会继续
If I go, he's going to keep doing this.
如果我是…
What would...
亨舍尔会怎么做？亨舍尔会制止他
What would Hansel do? Hansel would stop him.
会有办法的
Somehow.
你好啊 格莱特
Well, hello, Gretel.
幸好你没去成树林
It's probably just as well you didn't go into the woods.
里面危险重重
There's so many dangerous things in there,
你叫破喉咙 也没人能听见
and no one at all to hear the sounds you'd make,
随便你叫
the terrible, terrible sounds.
我得…生火…洗衣服了！
I have to... cook the... laundry!
怕了吧
Made you flinch.
那一刻 格莱特决定
In that moment, Gretel decided to do
听从她的心
what her heart told her to do.