倾听男人心

-Asparagus Chevrolet -谁
- Asparagus Chevrolet. - Who?
1884年通用汽车公♥司♥的合伙创始人
You know, a co-founder of General Motors, 1884.
Ali Davis 这是Jamal Barry的父亲 Joe Dolla
Ali Davis, meet Joe Dolla, Jamal Barry's father.
兼经理
And manager.
兼保镖
And bodyguard.
心理学家和营养学家
And psychologist and nutritionist
还是培训师 社会学家和泌尿科医生
and trainer and sociologist and urologist.
这意味着一切
That means everything.
哇 好棒棒
Wow, that's a lot.
你知道商业规则的第二条吗
You know the second rule of business?
总是有双赢的局面
There's always a win-win situation
每个人都能满意 你喜欢吗
where everyone walks away happy. You like that?
我知道这是对的
I know that's right.
但在体育界并不总是这样 还真不是
But it don't always happen like that in sports. It don't.
有人体会到胜利的喜悦
Somebody got to win,
有人品尝到失败的痛苦
and somebody got to taste the agony of defeat,
就像那个失明的滑雪运动员
like that blind ski jumper.
是的 今天已经够糟了
Yeah. It's a lethal day.
糟糕透顶 帮帮我们吧 拜托
Decapitated. Just help us out here, please?
-Ali D -Lisa
- Ali D! - Lisa!
嘿 看看你那一米九的完美身高
Hey, girl, look at you! Six feet five inches of perfect.
这里有什么事吗
What's the holdup here?
是的 我正打算过来和你说来着
Yeah, I was gonna come over and talk to you about that.
我们在讨论封面图片 还有
We were talking about the cover image, and...
当然 你绝对是C位
of course, you're guaranteed center position.
但是我们 在想也许你能把它让出来
But we were... we were thinking that maybe you'd split it
给Jamal Barry
with, um, Jamal Barry,
他有望成为NBA选举的冠军
the projected number-one NBA draft pick?
让出来
Split it?
我来问你们一个问题 你们数学怎么样
Let me ask you guys a question. Are you good at math?
-数学一级棒 -不是我强项
- Yes, summa cum laude. - Not my strong suit.
我及格了
I got through.
那Jamal Barry得了多少冠军
So how many championships does Jamal Barry have?
一个也没有 但这将是传奇和新星的同框
None. But this is the "Legends and Rising Stars" issue.
我有两个冠军 三个MVP和四枚金牌
I have two championships, three MVPs, and four gold medals.
算上这些 你说我要和这里的家伙
Now add that up and you tell me if I'm gonna share my magazine cover
分享我的杂♥志♥封面吗 我管他是什么新星
with whatever dude is here or the flavor of the month.
好的 你是对的 你是对的
Okay. You're right. You are right.
把C位给这位女士 绅士们
Give the woman the throne, gents!
是她应得的 而且我们有合同
She's earned it. And we have a contract.
哇哦 我很开心我的经纪人们是一群暂时脑抽的天才
Boom! I'm so glad my agents are mad geniuses.
Ali 你的衬衫上有褪色的酒渍
And Ali, you got an old wine stain on your blouse.
好叻妹崽 下周在你家约酒
Girl, yes, wine next week! Your house.
-所以 你所谓的双赢 -是的
- So, you mentioned win-win. Yes.
我击败了其他人
And I ate all those shrimps over there.
你明白吗 所以 我赢了
You understand? So, I win.
我儿子不会参与此次拍摄
My son Jamal is not gonna be a part of this photo shoot.
你失败了 等着瞧吧
You lose. Now watch this.
Jamal 我们走吧
Jamal, let's go!
Jamal 我
Jamal, it was...
很高兴见到
...very nice to...
-这还算好了 -怎么了
- Well, that could've gone worse. - How?
你没早点注意到头发上的避孕套吗
Could've noticed the used condom on your back earlier.
那是橡胶手套
That was a rubber glove.
我在染发 你个混♥蛋♥
I was dyeing my hair, you asshole.
对 用精♥液♥染发
Yeah... dyeing your hair with semen.
Rite Aid的酒吧女郎说
So, the wine gal at Rite Aid
这是他们单身派对的畅销品
said this was their bestseller for bachelorette parties.
你的香槟品味从大学开始就没怎么变过
Well, your taste in champagne hasn't evolved much since college,
总是一饮而尽
but down the hatch.
Kinda Chabils混有感冒药和漂白剂
Kinda Chablis meets NyQuil and bleach.
-噢 这酒真刺♥激♥ -大家好啊
- Oh, it's burnt. - Hello, everyone!
-姐们来啦 -不好意思 我来晚了
- Hey, girl. - Sorry I'm late.
你今天好美啊 胸这么挺
Ah. Look at you and your boobies.
我带了香槟过来
I picked up some champagne.
谢天谢地 真正的香槟
Thank God, real champagne!
太好了 我带的太难喝了
Good. Because mine sucked.
最后的单身时光一定要开心啊 表妹
Happy last days of being a single woman, cousin.
这里鸡♥巴♥太多了
Lots of dicks here.
好了 把它放下吧
Okay, you need to put that down.
你们聊到哪了
What'd I miss?
-我知道这是什么表情 -Ali
- Oh, I know that face. - Ali...
你没当成合伙人 对吧
You didn't make partner, did you?
Brandon那个白♥痴♥发信息给你了吗
Did that little shit Brandon text you?
倒不是 是你尴尬的苦笑出♥卖♥♥♥了你
Uh, no, your half-ass angry smile kinda gave it all away.
我只是没想到
I just can't believe that Nick
Nick竟然跟我说什么
tried to sell me some bullshit about how...
我跟男人处不好之类的鬼话
how I don't connect with men.
你们相信吗
Can you believe that?
我唉
Me!
-怎么啦 -我再倒点酒
- What? - Uh, let me see that bottle.
没什么 没什么 我
Nothing! Nothing, I...
好吧 我不明白
Well... I don't get it.
对吧 我这辈子就是在男人堆里长大的
Right? I grew up around men all my life.
-他简直是在放屁 -Ali啊
- Like, fuck him! - Ali...
我觉得我该叫个滴滴了
I think I'm gonna call a Lyft.
不 不 谁也不准叫 因为
No. No. No one's calling anything, because...
-我们还没嗨呢 -Ciarra
- we should be smoking up. - Ciarra!
我已经25年没抽过那个了
I haven't smoked that in 25 years.
我有耶稣的陪伴 不需要这个了
I'm high on Christ. I don't need it anymore.
好吧 那
Okay, so...
女士们看好了 我有一个特别的惊喜
I have a special surprise for you ladies.
噢 我喜欢惊喜
Oh. I love surprises.
现在 我们都知道
Now, we all know that
Mari和James会有一个光辉灿烂的未来
Mari and James have a bright and shiny future.
然后呢
Okay?
但多了解一些细节也不错 对吧
But specifics are good, right?
所以我请了一个通灵师 来吧
So I hired a psychic. Come on.
-来吧来吧 -你太贴心了 Olivia
- Come on! Yes! - That's really sweet, Olivia.
但是请Dionne Warwick的通灵热♥线♥一样的骗子
But don't nobody want no Dionne Warwick psychic-hotline con artist
Dionne Warwick是美国黑人女歌♥手兼演员 也是美国综艺节目通灵热♥线♥的主持人
来对我们的过去胡说八道 你们不介意吗
spinning bullshit about our past.
她已经来了 而且可能会听到你说的话 所以
Okay, well, she's already here, and she probably can hear you, so...
你从哪儿把她找来的
Where did you find her?
-朋友圈 -啥
- Facebook. - What?
好了 女士们
All right, ladies...
我们今晚的灵魂之旅将从
our spiritual journey tonight will begin with...
♪从老派的歌♥手到新派的滑头♪
♪ Old school players To new school fools ♪
♪老板跳跃不止♪
♪ Kast keep it jumpin'... ♪
♪黑鬼努力尝试♪
♪ Nigga be tryin' to... ♪
♪你妈妈真可人♪
♪ Ain't your mama pretty ♪
♪胸大像肉丸子♪
♪ Got meatballs in her titty ♪
逼奥砸
Bee-otch!
你
You.
我的牌
My card.
请拍一下这些牌
Please tap these cards.
谢谢
Thank you.
这里表示你工作遇到了问题
It says here you're having problems at work.
对 你听到我跟姐妹聊天了
Yeah, you heard me talking to my girlfriends.
有个男人不想让你成功
There's a man there who does not want you to succeed.
他觉得你是个威胁
Uh, he feels threatened by you.
呃 一个男人吗 应该是一打吧
Ah. A man? Try a dozen.
还有一个男人 你们以后会在一起
There's also a man who you will have a relationship with.
他的名字首字母是
And his name begins with...
W
W.
-Will -等等 你
- Will? - Wait, ho...
你怎么知道的 你♥他♥妈♥怎么会知道
How did you know that? How the fuck did you know that?
你昨晚在Highland Tap尾随我吗
Were you spying on me at the Highland Tap last night?
女士 我根本就不认识你
Ma'am, I don't even know who you are.
另外 我戒酒已经19年了
Plus, I'm 19 years sober.
只是抽点大♥麻♥ 仙人球碱 和可♥卡♥因♥