生活残骸（2015）

步态
My gait?
-好 -就正常走一会
- Okay. - So, just walk normal for a second.
-好像还不错 -好
- That looks pretty good. - Okay, okay.
请你就正常地走一会
Just walk naturally for one second, please.
这样吗
Like this?
我走路像碧昂丝 总有人把我当成她
I walk like Beyoncé. People always think I'm her.
我们会在社交软件上分享照片
We share on Instagram.
-你在大街上就这么走吗 -对
- Is that how you walk down the street? - MMm-hmm.
不 其实我是这么走的
No, this is how I walk.
我觉得屏上的和我做的不一样
I think the screen's doing different stuff than what I'm doing.
我们可以通过这个机器 来让你知道
What we can do with this, is we could show
该怎么纠正你的姿势和步态
how you can, fix your posture and your gait.
换我就不会走希♥特♥勒♥行军步
I really wouldn't do a Hitler march.
你就用你在大街上走路的姿势就行
Just walk the way you walk down the street.
这样吗
Like this?
好吧 对不起 我在听的
All right. Sorry, I'm listening.
好 可以继续了吧
Okay. We good? You good?
好的 谢谢
All right. Thank you.
等下 猜猜这是谁 看屏幕 猜猜这是谁
Wait, who is this? Watch the screen. Who is this?
-是谁 -《非常嫌疑犯》结尾时的凯文·史派西
- Who? - Kevin Spacey at end of The Usual Suspects.
我没看过那部电影
I didn't see that movie.
他演的是凯撒·索泽
He's Keyser Söze.
那不重要 这不是剧透
That's not important. It's not a spoiler.
你不如稍微提一下速好了
So why don't you pick up the speed a little bit?
很好 很好
That's good. That's good.
好好慢跑 不错
Get a nice jog going, there. That's good.
你想的话还能再快点
You can speed it up a little bit faster, if you want.
很好 你跑一会儿 看看结果如何 很好
There you go. See how that's working out? That's great.
看见你的腿用绿色标亮了吧 很好
See how your legs are lighting up green? That's great.
其实你还能再快点
You can go a little faster, actually.
跑的时候身体别前倾
Don't lean forward like that when you run.
你应该往后一点
You want to lean back a little bit.
金
我想让爸去便宜点的养老院
看见没 那边是绿的
See how that's lighting up green?
不错 非常好
There you go. See, that's real nice.
看你的脚跟是怎么着地的
See how you're landing on your heel.
你着地点太靠后了
You're stepping too far back.
你要用脚掌着地
So you want to land on the ball of your foot.
现在对了 非常好
There you go. See, that's real nice.
怎么停下来 你能让这东西停下来吗
How do you stop? Can you make sure this thing stops?
你还好吗 你换气过度了
Are you all right? You're hyperventilating.
你能拿掉这个吗
Can you get this off?
好 拿掉了
Yeah, here you go.
看着我 深吸气
Look at me. Deep breath in.
像吹生日蜡烛一样呼出来
Blow it out like you're blowing out a birthday candle.
很好 慢点 慢点
That's good, that's good. Slow it down. Slow it down.
你只是换气过度了
You're just hyperventilating.
没事的 不会有问题
You're all right. You're okay.
花点时间缓缓就行
Just take your time.
好点了吗
You all right?
-我饿了 -好
- I'm hungry. - Okay.
我今天没吃多少东西
I haven't eaten much today.
嗯
Okay.
我基本只吃了乐事薯片
I basically had, like, Lay's potato chips.
然后去星巴克点了杯红丝绒酸奶
Stopped at a Starbucks, had, like, one red velvet yogurt.
还有两份司康饼 它们超级小
And two scones. They were, like, super small.
然后我还吃了点墨西哥快餐
And then just some Chipotle,
但那玩意吃了就拉
but that stuff runs through you.
所以你吃了早饭午饭和零食
So you had breakfast, lunch and a snack?
-是的 -好
- Yeah, that's it. - Okay.
我们去吃点东西好了
Let's go get some food.
-好 -好吗
- Yeah. - Yeah?
好
Yeah.
那咱们走吧
Let's do that.
我爸爸是个风湿病学家
My dad, is a rheumatologist
妈妈是大学教授
and my mom is a college professor.
他们很出色 也给我很大压力
They're great. They put a lot of pressure on me.
我是独生子 所以
I was their only child, so...
或者说他们没给我压力
Or maybe they didn't put a lot of pressure on me.
是我自己给自己压力
I just put the pressure on myself
因为他们做了很多了不起的事 但是
because they did so much great stuff, but...
不 是他们给了我压力
No, they put pressure on me.
我们能别把这事写进你的文章吗
You know what? Can we not put this in the article?
这样可以吗 这事其实没必要写进文章
Is that all right? This doesn't need to be in the article.
我不知道为什么我要说这些 他们挺好的
I don't know why I'm saying any of it. They're great.
他们很不错 很不错
They're great. They're great.
-艾伦的父母很好 -艾伦的父母很好
- Aaron's parents are great. - Aaron's parents are great.
你不想的话 我就不会写进文章
I won't put any of that in the article, if you don't want.
-这样可以吗 -嗯
- Is that all right? - Yeah.
那就别写进去了
Just off the record.
好
Okay.
但我得说一声 如果你想让我在文章里避讳些什么
Just so you know, if you want me to keep something out of the article,
如果你不想让我记下来 你得提前通知我
if you want it to be off the record, you have to tell me before.
真的吗
Oh, really?
当然 但你之后再说也没事
Yeah. This can be retroactive.
-我的文章里不会提到你的父母的 -好的
- I won't put your parents in the article. - Okay.
这篇文章会大火的
This article is gonna be killer.
是啊 会很差劲的
Yeah, it's gonna be a bummer.
我读过一些你的作品
I read some of your stuff.
天啊
Oh, my God.
-别这样 你写得很棒 -才不是
- No, they were really good. - No.
我刚开始读的时候
When i started reading...
刚看了一点 我觉得 "也就那样"
there was one thing when I saw, and I was, like, "I don't know."
然后我继续读下去了 我就慢慢觉得..
And then I started reading it and I thought it was...
"这文章其实写的挺有意思"
like, "This is actually really funny and smart."
很犀利
It's satirical.
谢谢夸奖
Thank you.
真的写得很好
It was good.
我也为其他地方写过别的东西
I have other stuff that I've written for other places.
你读到的那些文章只是为了适应这份杂♥志♥的需要而已
That's just the kind of stuff they want at this magazine.
我可以读读吗
Can I read some of it?
可以的 你可以看看
Yeah, you can read... You can read some of my stuff.
你想去喝一杯吗
Do you want to go get a drink?
-好的 -是吗 好吧
- Yeah. - Yeah? Okay.
-服务员 买♥♥单 -他能看懂
- Can I get the check, please? - He understood.
别那样...
Don't do...
别边比划边喊
Don't do the symbol and yell.
只做其中一件就可以了
Just do one or the other.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你可以很夸张地做个"买♥♥单"的嘴型
You can mouth the word "check" really loud
但是别出声
and not make noise.
这大概是最好的方法
And that's kind of the best.
-我该怎么做 -看好了
- What do I do? - Watch.
买♥♥单
Check.
-好的 我试试 -好的
- Okay, let me try. - Okay.
-买♥♥单 -不是这样的
- Check? - No!
不对
No.
-不对吗 -不对
- Am I not doing that right? - No!
-买♥♥单 -天哪
- Check! - Oh, my God!
请问可以把账单给我吗
Could we get the bill, please?
我们要结账
We'd like to pay for the food.
好的 初吻 那个女孩叫詹妮弗·詹妮弗
Okay, first kiss. This girl named Jennifer Jennifer.
她叫詹妮弗·詹妮弗吗
Her name was Jennifer Jennifer?
詹妮弗·詹妮弗
Jennifer Jennifer.
她很可爱
And she was very cute.
那是七年级的万圣节派对
It was a Halloween party, seventh grade.
她比我矮 得站在石头上才能亲到我
She was shorter than me, she had to stand up on a stone to kiss me.
就像诺曼·洛克威尔的画一样
It was like a Norman Rockwell painting.
很可爱
It was very cute.
-对了 你能看见这些牙吗 -嗯
- Oh! And you see these teeth? - Yeah.