生活残骸（2015）

There's deal-breakers, you know?
-是啊 -为什么啊
- I know. - Why?
瞧瞧谁来了
Hey, look who's here!
这看起来不太安全
This does not seem safe.
我的天哪 永远都在
Oh, my God. Always here.
艾米在哭吗
Is Amy crying?
是啊 她坠入爱河了
Yeah, she's in love.
和史蒂文吗
Oh, with Steven?
-不是的 -不是
- No! - No!
我喜欢史蒂文
I love Steven.
他教了我练出海滩身材的方法
He taught me this workout to get me a beach bod.
-你看起来很棒 -谢谢你
- You look amazing. - Thank you so much.
你一定能练出完美身材的
You'll be really ripping it up.
刚刚那很酷
That was cool.
他来了
And there he is!
-是勒布朗 -勒布朗
- It's LeBron. - LeBron!
我是勒布朗·詹姆斯 欢迎来到纽约扣篮大赛
I'm LeBron James, and welcome to the Big Apple Jam Fest.
那么 大家准备好狂欢了吗
So, are you guys ready to have some fun?
尼克斯城市舞者
The Knicks City Dancers!
她们只是在旋转而已
They're just gyrating.
她们不是
They're not.
不不 这些女孩很努力的 我给她们提供治疗
No, no, no. These girls work really hard. I treat them.
你治疗她们
You treat them?
是啊 我们一起合作
Yes, I do. I work with them.
-她们会受很严重的伤 -我看也是
- They get bad injuries. - I bet.
那些杆子并不总是上好油的
The pole isn't always greased right.
你们会让我们失去投票权的
You're gonna lose us the right to vote!
这还有多久
How long is this?
我不知道
I don't know.
-我就问问 -可能还有一个小时
- I'm just asking. - Another hour, maybe.
好的
Okay.
康纳斯医生
Dr. Conners
你可以看看我的脚踝吗
Do you mind taking a look at my ankle?
我好像扭伤了
I think I rolled it.
好 当然可以
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
嗯 我等等就回来
Yeah. I'll see you in a sec.
你刚刚好厉害
You were so great.
你一出来大家都激动坏了
Everybody flipped out when you came out here.
-很酷的一幕 -谢谢
- It was really cool to see. - Thank you.
说真的 你怎么想的
Seriously, what's the deal?
你有什么打算
What's your intentions?
我的打算
My intentions?
对啊 和我的兄弟 你有什么计划
Yeah, with my boy. Like, what's your plan?
我对艾伦没什么计划
Oh, I don't have a plan with Aaron.
我们才约会了六周 我们只是一起出来玩而已
No, we've just been dating for six weeks. We're just hanging out.
-好吧 -轻松随意地玩玩
- Okay. - Keeping it cazh.
那你听到他的名字会小鹿乱撞吗
So, you get butterflies when you hear his name?
你说什么
Excuse me?
当你仰望云端时 你会看见他的脸庞吗
When you're looking at clouds, do you see his face?
当你倾听风声时 你会听到他的名字吗
Do you hear his name, when you listen to the wind?
会的
Yes.
我得问你一个问题
I really have to ask you a question.
别伤害他
Don't hurt him.
我们在一起了 好吗
So we did it. Okay?
我们为对方神魂颠倒
We fell hard for each other.
欢迎欣赏全美国最白的情侣
Welcome to the whitest couple in America.
那天怎么没人抢劫我们呢 看看他那帽子
How did no one mug us that day? Look at his hat.
我们会坐在石头上接吻
Now we're kissing on a rock.
你知道有多少流浪汉
Do you know how many homeless people
把那石头当成厕所吗
have taken a dump on that rock?
地铁接吻 恶心
Subway kissing? Ew!
我喜欢他高大的身躯
I love how tall he is.
冷静点老兄 我也是在工作的人
Easy, dude. I'm a working man, too.
好吧 我理解
All right, I get it.
你好 诺姆
Hey, Noam.
你们好啊
Hey, guys!
室内性♥爱♥ 我喜欢
Inside sex! I'm digging that.
甚至连我爸都喜欢他
Even my dad likes him.
我爸谁都不喜欢
My dad doesn't like anyone.
他觉得特蕾莎修女都满嘴瞎话
He thought Mother Teresa was full of shit.
这是我在艾伦♥公♥♥寓♥的那把牙刷
That's my "Aaron's apartment" toothbrush.
我现在有两把牙刷
I have two toothbrushes.
我希望这段梦幻爱情能像琼斯镇事件一样结束
I hope this love montage ends like Jonestown.
邪教组♥织♥集♥体♥自杀事件 有四人幸免于难
我觉得这里是伍迪·艾伦遇见宋宜的地方
I think this is where Woody Allen met Soon Yi.
宋宜本来是伍迪·艾伦的养女
后成为他的妻子
二人相差三十多岁
好好 别激动
Okay, okay, eazy.
那是一个大冒险 好吗
That was a dare, okay?
我是大冒险输了才这么做的
I was dared to do that.
你和艾米怎么样了 还顺利吗
So what's up with you and Amy? How's that going?
艾米吗 一切都很顺利
Amy? Things are going awesome, man.
-是吗 -对
- Yeah? - Yeah.
嗯 进展得很顺利
Yeah. It's going real good.
我非常非常喜欢她
I mean, I really, really like her,
但她也有一些问题
but she's got some issues, you know?
问题在所难免
I mean, that's gonna happen.
是啊
Yeah.
昨天晚上我们出去喝酒
It's like, last night we went out drinking.
-你吗 -对啊 我去喝酒了
- You? - Yeah, I went out drinking.
然后她...
And she...
我们...
and we...
你也知道 我不怎么喝酒 所以我喝醉了
You know, I don't drink. I got hammered.
她喝了很多 但她...
And then she drank a lot, but she barely got...
她一点也没喝醉
But she didn't get drunk at all.
-那性生活怎么样 -性生活
- So how's the sex? - The sex?
你怎么总想知道这种事
Why do you always wanna know this stuff, man?
我是个已婚男人了
Listen, I'm a married man.
我只能通过你来感受生活
I need to live vicariously through you.
-就给我几条具体细节 -不
- Just give me a couple details. - No.
-十一条就行 -十一条细节吗
- Just like 11. - Eleven details?
等你结婚像我一样久 你就明白我为什么爱八卦了
When you're married as long as me, you'll understand.
她知道她想要什么 挺好的
She knows what she wants. It's great.
我们性生活挺好的 很粗暴 很狂野
The sex is great. It's rough. It's wild.
如果不狂野的话就不对了
I mean, if it's not wild, it's not right.
不 很疯狂的 还要揪我头发之类的
Right. No, it's crazy. Like pulling my hair and stuff.
我们都没有 我们都没有躺下来做过
We've never... We haven't even laid down yet.
总是坐着来 或者靠着墙之类的
It's always either, like, sitting up, or against a wall, or something.
每次都是她压我
I've never been on top once.
-我们有个安全词 -这么快
- We have a safe word. - Already?
-对啊 是"海中女神" -现在有安全词太早了吧
- Yeah, it's "calypso." - Man, that's pretty early for a safe word.
是啊 才第二次约会 我们就有安全词了
It is. Second date, we had a safe word.
可疯狂了 兄弟
It's insane, man.
准备好接招了吗
Ready for this?
你瞧好了
Come on, man.
我练了很久了
I've been practicing.
-少来了 -准备好了吗
- Knock it off. - Ready for this? Ready for this?
命中
Yeah!
犯规
Foul!
-犯规 -是啊 你打手了
- Foul? - Yeah, man, you hit me.
没有
No.
你有做保护措施 对吧
You use protection, right?
是啊
Yeah.
当然 她公♥寓♥里到处都是小碗装的避孕套
Yeah, yeah. She's got little bowls of condoms all around her apartment.
避孕套
Condoms?
我说的不是避孕套
I'm not talking about condoms.
我说的是保护措施 像律师
I'm talking about like, protection, like a lawyer.
像保密协议这种
Like a nondisclosure agreement, you know?
不请律师 不行房♥事
No penetration without representation.
你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
怎么了
What happened?
我没事