圣诞前夜（2015）

- 事实上，我可以 - 真的吗？
- I'm actually okay. - Really?
突然我想到你说的一切
All of a sudden I was just thinking about everything you've been saying...
我们多么坚强、又多么有把握
...about how strong we are and how we can handle it.
让我感觉好多了
And that made me feel better.
真的？
Really?
我真的觉得我行的
Yeah. I really feel like I can do this.
看着我
Look at me.
- 我是你的巨石 - 你是我的巨石？
- I'm your rock. - You're my rock?
我才是巨石强森
I'm Dwayne.
我可以跟杜恩巨石强森上♥床♥
I get to have sex with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
我爱你，艾萨克
I love you, Isaac.
我爱你，小龙
I love you, dragon.
贝兹
Betsy.
你刚说〝小龙贝兹〞？
Did you say "Dragon Betsy"?
我现在要坦白
I'm gonna keep being honest.
我现在仍旧要说老实话 你看起来像只恐龙
I'm tripping my fucking balls off still, and you look like a dragon right now.
- 是吗？ - 是的
- I do? - Yeah.
可怕吗？
- Ah! - Ha-ha-ha. Is that scary?
有点威胁性
It's intense.
算了，走吧？ 走了吧
Let's just go. Can we just go? Let's just go.
♪ Bells will be ringing ♪
很棒
That's nice.
♪ Oh, what a Christmas ♪
♪ To have the blues ♪
这是什么？
What is it?
♪ My baby's home ♪
（世界上最棒老爸）
要告诉我不容易
Couldn't have been easy to tell me that.
要告诉全世界也不容易
It's not gonna be easy to tell the world either.
看来公园没有了
Guess we gonna lose the park, huh?
管他什么公园 没什么了不起
Fuck that park. It got crackheads.
祷告吧，小子
Say the grace, boy.
是的，女士
Yes, ma'am.
天父，感谢祢赐给我们 今天的食物
Heavenly Father, thank you for this food we're about to receive.
感谢祢赐予我母亲
Thank you for my momma.
感谢祢赐予我朋友跟他们的家人
Thank you for my friends and their families.
♪ Please, come home for Christmas ♪
♪ Please, come home for Christmas ♪
♪ If not for Christmas ♪
♪ By New Year's night ♪
♪ Friends and relations ♪
♪ Send salutations ♪♪
- 嗨 - 真的吗？
- Hi. - Really?
又要来跟我求婚了吗？
Are you gonna propose to me again?
- 不是 - 你确定吗？
- No. - Are you sure?
我只想跟你聊聊
I just wanted to talk to you.
我想告诉你
And I have something to tell you...
如果没关系的话 我想在圣诞节说
...and I wanna tell it on Christmas. If that's all right? So...
等不及了，如果你能出来一下 我们聊聊
...it can't wait. Can you just come out here for a sec and we'll talk...
我就离开，我保证
...and then I'll go. I promise.
好
Okay. Fine.
什么事？
What?
首先，昨晚的事情我很抱歉
First of all, I'm sorry about last night.
- 我知道很蠢 - 是的
- I know that was stupid. - Yeah.
And...
我不见你父母亲 是件超蠢的事情
And it was totally crazy that I wouldn't meet your parents.
我真的非常…
That was just me being really...
是，我同意
Yeah. I agree with that.
我想我大概是
But I guess I was...
害怕吧
...I don't know, scared...
因为过去10年克里斯跟艾萨克 一直都是我的家人
...because Chris and Isaac have been my family for the last 10 years...
所以我不想见你的家人
...so I didn't wanna meet your family...
因为这一切都会改变
...because that would change everything.
但一切都不同了，是吧？ 我们都长大
But everything changes, right? We all grow up...
这也是件好事 我也想长大
...and that's a good thing, I wanna grow up. I do.
我想跟你一起长大
I wanna grow up with you.
我想要个家庭
And I do wanna have a family...
而不是两个大男生
...other than two dudes.
我想要的家庭
But I want that family to...
是要有你在里面
I want it to be you.
可能比求婚还更糟糕
Which is probably worse than proposing...
因为我们在讨论 要你怀我的孩子
...because now we're talking about you bearing my children.
是，很多改变
Yeah. It's a lot.
假装我说对了 要是你愿意的话
But just pretend I'm saying it right, if you could.
从现在起，我宁愿当个
I'd rather be the guy, from now on...
说太多，而不是沉默寡言的人
...who says too much than not enough.
如果要诚实的话 我也该跟你道歉
If we're being honest, I should apologize to you also...
一直留意你的行踪
...for stalking you, a little bit.
我很清楚昨天晚上 你会去那家酒吧
I knew that you were gonna be at that bar last night.
你假装是个巧合
You pretended like that was just coincidence.
没错
I did. And also...
既然我们双方都要求诚实
...if we're confessing things...
我的确向贝兹问过你
...I do ask Betsy about you.
一直问
Kind of all the time.
她都没说
She doesn't let on.
我知道，因为她是我朋友
I know. Because she's my friend.
每次看见她 我都问你的状况
I ask her about you every time I see her.
我知道
Oh, I know.
- 是啊 - 你每次问，她都会告诉我
- Yeah. - She tells me every time you ask.
她没告诉我 你问过我的状况
- She doesn't tell me that you ask her. - She's a girl. That's how it works.
她是女生 事实就是这样
我能进去吗？
Can I come in?
进来这里？
In here?
- 这是我父母的房♥子 - 我知道
- This is my parents' house. - I know.
我以为你从不拜访家长的
I thought that you didn't do parents.
我会拜访你的家长
- I'll do your parents. - Oh.
真好
Wow. Nice.
别模仿我爸的公狗式 他膝盖不好
Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees.
他现在年纪大了
- Ha-ha-ha. - He's an old man now.
好吧
All right.
- 嘿 - 什么事
- Hey. - Yo.
我想亲你
I kind of wanna kiss you...
但不是因为我说 我想拜访你的父母
...but maybe not so soon after saying I would do your parents.
♪ No more sorrow ♪
♪ No grief and no pain ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be happy ♪
♪ Happy once again ♪
来跟我爸妈搞一下吧
Come have sex with my mother and my father.
你说〝来搞一下〞
I thought you were saying, "Come have sex."
跟我父母亲
- With my mother and also my father. - Heh.
（一年后）
♪ No more sorrow ♪
♪ No grief and no pain ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be happy ♪
♪ Christmas, once again ♪♪
她睡不着
She won't sleep.
- 我们试试好吗？ - 你确定吗？
- Can we try? - Are you sure?
上场了，来吧
Showtime. Let's do it.
谢谢你
Thank you.
嗨，小甜心
Hey, sweetie.
你最棒了
This is the best.
过来，小甜心
Come here, little sweetie. Come here.
过来，小甜心
Come here, sweetie.
看看这些是谁啊？
Look who it is. Who are these guys?
来瞧瞧
Look at that.
这些人是谁？
Who are these guys here?
- 我们来吧？ - 好，来吧
- Should we do it? - Yeah, do it.
♪ It's Christmas time In Hollis, Queens ♪
♪ Mom's cooking chicken And collard greens ♪
♪ Rice and stuffing Macaroni and cheese ♪
♪ And Santa's putting gifts Under Christmas trees ♪
♪ My name's DMC With the mic in my hand ♪
♪ I'm chilling and cooling Just like a snowman ♪
♪ So open your eyes, lend us an ear ♪
♪ We want to say ♪
♪ Merry Christmas And Happy New Year ♪♪
很棒
That's good. Wow.
（剧终）
The end.
这圣诞故事好听吗？
How was that for a Christmas story?
非常棒！
That was nice!
很棒吧！
That was some shit!
人生总有不如意！
Shit happened! Things went down!
人生的课程都需要学习
Lessons were learned.
朋友很重要 但关系会进化
Friends are important, but relationships evolve.
我很高兴伊森跟黛安娜 有情人终成眷属
I'm so glad Ethan and Diana ended up together.
我希望他让她怀孕