圣诞前夜（2015）

但你却如日中天 怎么可能？
...but you just got good. How is that?
练习
Practice.
我跟说过，新饮食 新的养生法
I told you. It was a new diet. A new regimen.
新的养生法？ 这是你的说词？
A new regimen? That's what you call it?
没错，就是我的说词 不然你怎么说？
Yeah, that's what I call it. What you call it?
我说是在你屁♥股♥上打♥针♥
I think I call it putting a needle in your ass. That's what I call it.
好，我承认
Okay. Fine.
我是在施打类固醇，又如何？
I'm on steroids, now what?
新闻报导：大家都服用类固醇
Newsflash: Everybody's on steroids!
你作弊
You're a cheater.
至少我为我的理想奋斗
At least I'm doing something with my life.
你呢？就这么坐着浪费生命
What about you? Sitting around wasting your fucking life away.
没女朋友、没有钱
No girlfriend, no money.
拜托，你的音乐没人听过
Dude, you make music that people have never heard.
这是我这辈子 看过最悲惨的事情
It's the saddest shit I've ever seen in my life!
你是认真的吗？
Are you fucking serious right now?
是！你得振作 告诉他，艾萨克
Yeah! You need to get your fucking life together. Tell him, Isaac.
你闭嘴！ 你简直毁了我的行程
You shut up! You're ruining my trip!
真是够了
It's really fucked up.
去你的 要参加我人生最棒的派对
Fuck this! Going to the best party of my life...
我才不♥穿♥这个道貌岸然的假毛衣
...and I'm not wearing some pseudo-racist, fake-ass acrylic sweater!
- 毛衣别脱掉！ - 我就是要脱！
- Don't take off that sweater! - I'm taking the sweater off!
- 别脱掉毛衣 - 毛衣穿回去
- Don't take off the sweater. - Put the fucking sweater back on!
我就是要把毛衣脱掉
I'm taking the fucking sweater off!
蠢毙了
Stupid.
（食物超♥市♥）
有什么需要效劳？
May I help you?
Uh...
我有这些入场券
I have, uh, these tickets.
跟我来
Come with me.
快过来
Come on.
进去
Get in there.
能帮你们挂外套吗，各位？
May I take your coats, gentlemen?
上车！
All aboard!
♪ Everybody get down ♪♪
我去找欧文斯
I'm going to find Owens.
我得找到我的手♥机♥
Gonna find my phone.
我要去找黛安娜
I'm gonna go find Diana.
嗨，弥赛亚 现场的白耶稣
Oh, shit, Messiah, White Jesus in the building.
你好，西钱
C-Money in the hizzle.
- 你好吗 - 你终于来了
- Yo, man. - I see you made it.
我没办法帮你带大♥麻♥ 事情有变化，你了吗？
I wasn't able to get the weed, man. Shit fell apart. You know what I mean?
我都忘记有问你 要来点大♥麻♥？
I forgot I even asked you. You want some weed?
抽点大♥麻♥吧
Have some weed.
但是…好吧
But... All right.
你有一堆大♥麻♥？
You got a whole fucking dump truck of weed?
让你玩到挂
Dro fo' sho'. Ha-ha-ha.
- 就是这里了？ - 没错，就是这里，宝贝
- So this it, huh? - Oh, this is it, baby.
胡桃钳舞会！
The Nutcracker Ball!
太棒了
Yeah!
紧急情况！
Having an emergency!
- 我的老天 - 莎拉！
- Oh, my God. - Oh. Sarah!
莎拉！
Sarah!
你开什么玩笑？
Are you fucking kidding me?
放开我！ 搞什么？
Get off of me! What the fuck, dude?
抱歉，我太高兴了！
I'm sorry! I'm just happy!
- 你满身汗 - 我知道，我很热，刚吃摇♥头♥丸♥
- You're so fucking sweaty. - I know. It's warm and I'm on Molly.
- 老天，这是我的手♥机♥吗？ - 这是你的手♥机♥，你有我的吗？
- Oh, my God! Is that my phone? - It is. Do you have my phone?
- 你的手♥机♥拿回去吧 - 长得一样
- Take your piece-of-shit phone back. - It's the same phone.
所以才会搞混
That's why we got them mixed up.
- 这里有很严重的资料 - 我知道
- But this has some serious shit on it. - I know.
等一下，你没看吧？
Wait. You didn't look at it, did you?
你没看我手♥机♥吧？
You didn't look at any shit on my phone, did you?
- 没有 - 很好
- No. - Good.
你没看我的手♥机♥吧？
You didn't look at anything on my phone, did you?
我只是想要告诉你
I just wanna tell you...
干得好
...good job.
你看了我的手♥机♥
You did fucking look at my phone.
我不想，但讯息一直传进来
I didn't want to. The texts just were coming in.
你这人怎么回事？
What is the matter with you?
都试一堆美丽的雕照 超级大雕
All these gorgeous dick pics. A-plus dick pics.
- 真的很了不起 - 等等，真的？
- That's a boss hog. - Wait a second, really?
他雕不雄伟的时候 已经是我雄伟雕的两倍大
That dick soft is like two of my dicks hard.
你觉得
Do you think, like, it would be...?
我能处理吗？
Do you think I could, like, handle it?
我一度以为他要我处理
There was a moment where I thought he was wanting me to handle it...
然后我仔细想想
...and I had to wrap my head around it for a second, and I thought to myself:
〝你知道吗？你出手 铁定能搞定那的坏家伙〞
"You know what? You hunker down, you could take that bad boy."
- 真的？ - 是的
- Really? - Yeah.
那个叫詹姆斯的家伙 他的雕真的很棒
That guy James, whoever James is, he's got a fantastic cock on him.
有人谈到〝雕〞吗？
Yo! Did somebody say "cock"?
你好吗？
Ha-ha-ha. What's up?
- 嘿 - 你们在讨论什么？
- Hey. - What are you guys talking about?
- 没什么 - 你好吗？兄弟，我是詹姆斯
- Nothing. - Hey, what's up, bro? I'm James.
- 我是艾萨克 - 你不需要见他
- I'm Isaac. - You don't need to meet him.
原来是你的雕！
That's your dick.
- 糟糕！ - 我就是拿这电♥话♥的人！
- Oh, shit! - I'm the guy who had the phone!
- 你见过我的雕？ - 看过吗？老天！
- You saw my dick? - Did I ever! Oh, my God!
他差点要吃我的雕肉
He almost sucked my dick.
如果我知道是你 我绝对肯，也许肯
I would have if I'd known it was you, maybe.
糟糕，你们俩是一对吗？
Oh, shit! Are you guys a couple?
- 不，我们只是朋友 - 我是第三者吗？
- No, no. We're friends. - Am I the third wheel?
不，你是第一者
No, no. You're the first wheel.
- 我是第三者？ - 绝对不是
- Am I the third wheel? - Not at all.
老实说，我整晚跟另外两个男人 在一起，跟他们争吵
I was with two other guys and now I'm in a fight...
是吗？另外两个男人？
Oh, really? Two other guys?
我喜欢跟另外两个男人瞎混
I'd love to hang out with two other people.
这是下挑战书吗？
Is that a challenge?
也许是
It might be! Yeah.
不知道我要从谁开始 但我绝对清楚最后落在谁手上
I don't know who I'm gonna start with, but I know who I'm gonna end with.
何不就现在开始吧
Well, let's get started right now!
- 你们想要跳舞吗？ - 我喜欢跳舞
- You guys wanna dance? - I would love to dance.
- 我喜欢跳舞 - 你想要跳舞？
- I would love to dance. - You wanna dance?
去跳舞吧 来吧，艾萨克！
Let's do it! Come on, Isaac!
老天，太棒了 简直就是天堂
Oh, my God. This is so nice! This is the best!
真开心！
What a turn of events!
怎么了？
What?
我的老天！
Holy fucking shit!
你是麦莉希拉
You're Miley Cyrus.
是的
Yeah.
不，你不了解
No, you don't understand.
我正在找个我喜欢的女孩 但她超爱你
I was just looking for this girl that I love, and she loves you.
老天，我有一次跟两个粉丝搞过 但感觉超级诡异
Oh, God, no. I did that with two fans one time. It got super awkward.
我不是这意思，抱歉 你不了解，不过也不错
That's not what I meant. Sorry, you don't understand. That'd be awesome...
但不是这意思
But, no, I just mean...
这一定是圣诞节的奇蹟 因为她一直谈论你
This has gotta be some kind of Christmas miracle, because she talks about you...
跟你的歌♥曲
...and your song a lot.
我喜欢这个女孩，我今晚才明白 她是我这辈子的最爱
And I love this girl. I'm starting to realize, tonight, she's the love of my life.
我希望今晚是我跟她的特别夜晚
And I wanted tonight to be sort of a special night for me and her.
- 今天既然你在这里 - 你今晚想要求婚？
- Now you're here and... - You want to propose tonight?
老天，太浪漫了 这是我听过最美好的事情
Oh, my God! That is so romantic. That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
我只是觉得 你可以为她唱首歌♥
I mean, I was just thinking you could like dedicate a song to her.
拜托？你得求婚！
What? You gotta propose.
拜托，今晚是圣诞节 搞大一点吧
Come on! It's Christmas. It's like, go big or go fucking home!
你爱这女孩吧 你不是说你爱她？
I mean, you love this girl. You say you love her, right?
是，但我不知道 今晚是否时机恰当…
Yeah. But I don't know if tonight's the right time for...
老天，你是那种 老是找藉口的男人吗？
Oh, God. Are you one of those guys that are always making up excuses?
我恨透这种男人
I fucking hate those kind of guys.
不，麦莉希拉 我不是那种人
No, Miley Cyrus, I'm not one of those guys.
好，别当个胆小鬼 跟她求婚！
All right, then don't be a pussy! You got to propose to her!
空气里弥漫着奇蹟 大家都想恋爱
There's all this magic in the air, people want to fall in love.
好，我会求婚！