圣诞前夜（2015）

- 没错 - 好主意
- Ho-ho. Yes. - That's a good idea.
然后我们去玩具公♥司♥
Then we go to FAO Schwarz...
在钢琴上跳舞！
We dance on the piano!
- 就像《Big》的汤姆汉克 - 像《Heart and Soul》一样
- Like Tom Hanks in Big. - "Heart and Soul."
然后去吃中国菜 因为我超嗨
Then we eat Chinese food, because I'm fucking high.
然后去中国餐馆旁边的 卡拉OK店
And then go to the karaoke spot right by the Chinese food place.
太好了
- That's a fucking good idea. - Heh, heh, heh.
真是美好的夜晚
It's a dope night.
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪♪
真的很感人
That was fucking touching, yo.
这是你一辈子的家人
Those are some ride-or-die homeys you got there.
好好珍惜
Cherish that shit.
现在都不同了
It's all different now.
那些人不需要我了
Those guys don't need me anymore.
是吗？听着
Oh, yeah? Listen.
我们需要他 不能丢下他就走了！
We need him! We're not leaving without him!
他是我全世界最好的朋友 我不能把他丢在这里
He's my best friend in the whole world. I can't leave him here.
别被这些红鼻子骗了 这些人是狠角色
Don't let the red noses fool you, these fuckers are tough.
我跑进去，你爬窗户如何？
What if I run in, and you try to climb in a window?
你抬我上去，就能绕过他们
Maybe if you boost me up we can get around them.
我抬不了你，你太重了
No, I can't boost you, you're too heavy, man.
我们需要我们的朋友 绝对不会丢下他！
We need our friend and we'll never leave him behind!
- 麋鹿，把他交出来 - 嗨！
- Hand him over, reindeer! - Yo!
我来处理，你去
I'll charge and you go.
- 他在那里！ - 嘿！
- There he is! - Hey!
感谢老天，我们到处找你！
Thank God, we've been looking everywhere for you!
鲁道夫修理我们！
Rudolph is kicking our ass!
- 我在这里！ - 下来吧，我们走了
- I'm here! - Get down here so we can go!
我马上下去
Here I come!
快过来
Come around!
我拿到你的鼻子！
- I'm fucking... I got your nose! - Yikes.
我拿到你的鼻子，混球！
I got your nose, asshole!
鲁道夫，怎么样？
How about that, Rudolph? Huh?
- 谢谢你，格林先生 - 不客气
- Thanks, Mr. Green. - You're welcome.
你干了件蠢事
It was a pretty dumb thing you did.
我知道，我脑袋不清楚
I know. I didn't think it through at all.
我看见她在酒吧
I just saw her at the bar and just...
不知道，我真的喜欢她
I don't know man, I really, really like this girl.
我忍♥不住
I can't help it.
我很怕一个人 接着就做出蠢事
I was scared of being alone and did some stupid shit.
交往两年后，她只是要你做些
I think she just wanted you to do...
一般正常男友都会做的事情
...some normal shit that boyfriends do after two years of dating.
我不正常，你很清楚 我不正常
But I'm not normal. You know this. I'm not normal.
一堆不正常的事 都发生在我身上
Bunch of abnormal shit happened to me.
不知道，也许只是藉口
Or, I don't know, maybe that's just an excuse.
我很会找藉口
I guess I'm pretty good at making excuses.
- 是的 - 一直都是
- Yeah. - All the time.
要是能靠这赚钱 你铁定削翻了
If you get paid for that you'd be really successful.
你干嘛不跟我说？
Why didn't you tell me?
很难启齿
You know, it's hard to tell someone.
你找藉口有其原因
You have a good reason to be making excuses.
会毁了你的生活
It's just kind of ruining your life.
越老越难维持友谊
It's harder to stay friends with people when you're older.
你自己有太多事情
You have so much of your own shit going on.
我们得更努力
We'll just have to try harder.
这很重要
It's important, you know?
拜托
- Come on. - Heh, heh, heh.
我真的爱你们
I really love you.
我很爱你们
I love you a lot.
谢了，老兄
Thanks, man.
糟糕
Oh, no.
- 惨了 - 怎么回事？
- Oh, no. - What's up?
96通未接电♥话♥
I have 96 missed calls.
死定了
- Ha-ha-ha. - Holy shit.
- 肯定是贝兹要生了 - 才不是
- Oh, no, Betsy's gone into labor, I bet. - No.
不然她干嘛打这么多通电♥话♥？ 又打来了
Why the fuck would she call that many times? Oh, no, she's calling again.
喂？
Hello?
喂？是的，好
Hello? Yes. All right.
好的，很好
All right. That's fine.
我尽快到达，别担心
Uh, I will be right there. As fast as I can. Don't worry.
贝兹要生了
Betsy's going into fucking labor.
- 什么？ - 什么？
- What? - Ah!
不会吧！
Oh, no! Oh, no!
- 快点！ - 不会吧
- Come on! - Oh, no!
这里叫不到计程车
We'll never get a fucking cab over here!
等等，你看！
Wait, look!
格林先生的车！ 圣诞节奇蹟！
It's Mr. Green's car! It's a Christmas miracle!
- 艾萨克，你能开吗？ - 可以
- Isaac, can you drive? - Yeah!
不，我开玩笑的 我来开
No, no, no, I'm kidding! I'll drive!
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
♪ The church bells in town ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
♪ Are ringing a song ♪
我想我终于够资格了吧
I believe I finally earned these.
♪ What a happy sound ♪
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
没关系，我抓住你了
- Come on. I got you. I got you. - Unh. Unh.
好了，没关系
No, no, no. There you go. There you go.
别挡路！
Get out of the way!
♪ And all the fun we had last year ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
♪ Pretty lights on the tree ♪
她在哪里？
Where is she? Where is she?
♪ I'm watching them shine ♪♪
辛蒂，她在哪里？ 没事吧？
Cindy? Where is she? Is everything okay?
没事，还没生
It's okay. Nothing happened.
虚惊一场而已
It was a false alarm.
老天！
Oh, God.
虚惊一场！
False alarm.
贝兹？
Betsy.
感谢老天，真的很抱歉
Thank God. I'm so sorry.
你上哪去了？
Where were you?
我犯了个错 犯了个大错
- I made a mistake. I made a huge mistake. - I called you.
我打给你
- 我不小心跟莎拉交换了电♥话♥ - 在公♥司♥？
- I switched phones with Sarah. - From work?
说来话长
It's a long story.
算了，我只是要告诉你
It doesn't matter. I just need to tell you something. Okay?
好
Okay.
我要跟你坦白
I'm gonna come clean with you.
你给我的那些药
Those drugs you gave me...
让我神游
...they sent me on a spirit quest.
就像是奥利佛史东的电影 或是《YoungGuns》那类型的状况
You know, like a spirit quest in an Oliver Stone movie or Young Guns.
当发生这一切，我才惊觉
And when that happened I kind of realized...
也许我一直对你跟对我自己说谎
...that maybe I've been lying to, maybe, myself and you...
隐藏我真实的感受
...about how I really feel about some stuff.
我要给你看这个
I'm just gonna show you this.
- 你看一下 - 好的
- Just watch this. - Okay.
宝宝真是差劲的选择 我根本没准备好
This baby is a bad fucking call. I'm not ready for it!
我们得负起责任 而且我得说
We got to do this responsible thing and I got to say...
我们不该生下宝宝
...that we should not be having this baby!
要甩掉宝宝！
Get rid of this fucking baby!
放进袋子里丢掉
- Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere! - Heh, heh, heh.
或是放进篮子里推入河里
Put it in a basket and push it down a fucking river!
- 你在笑吗？ - 这超好笑
- Are you laughing? - This is hilarious.
- 笨蛋！ - 你叫宝宝笨蛋？
- Cunt! - Did you just call our baby a cunt?
我压根不记得
I forgot about that.
老实说，我看不下去了
Honestly... Okay, I can't watch anymore.
但老实说，我倒是轻松点了
But honestly, I'm a little relieved.
- 是吗？ - 你说笑吗？
- You are? - Are you kidding me.
有时候跟你比起来 我真是个蠢混♥蛋♥
I feel like such a dumb asshole compared to you sometimes.
都是谎言，都是假装的 因为我吓坏了
It's all been a lie. It's all been a front, because I'm fucking freaking out.
只是为了掩饰事实上我一无所知
It's all just been to compensate for the fact that I don't know anything.
很好，你需要个出口
- This is good. You need to let it out. - This is good?
这样很好吗？
是的，你不需要隐藏
Yes. You need to not bottle it up.
我们之中总有个要冷静
One of us has to be not freaking out.