IT狂人特别篇（2013）

Anyway, if you want me, you know where I am.
我不知道 瑞蒙
I don't, though, Richmond.
别神出鬼没的
Don't... lurk!
他去哪了
Where did he go?
你说谁
Where did who go?
你们有没有发现 发生在我们身上的事
Does it ever seem to you that the things that happen to us
有点
are sort of...
奇怪
strange?
此话怎讲 罗伊
How so, Roy?
这么说吧
Well...
罗伊曾为使用残疾人厕所假扮残疾人 详见S02E01
还记我无奈假装成残疾人
remember when I had to pretend to be disabled
结果去了曼彻斯特的事吗
and I ended up in Manchester?
一点都不正常 是吧
That wasn't a normal thing to happen, was it?
莫斯曾为了钻进娃娃机拿iPhone在里面待了一宿 详见S04E04
还有你那次在娃娃机里过了一宿
Or when you ended up spending the night in that arcade machine.
也很奇怪
That was odd.
看来此中真有蹊跷
I suppose those were unusual events.
这件事也很奇怪
And this is strange.
现在发生在我们身上的事也很奇怪 不是吗
What's happening to us right now is strange, isn't it?
不过至少很快就要结束了
Well, at least, it'll all be over soon.
道格拉斯回来非炒了我们不可
Douglas is bound to fire us when he gets back.
别这样 这不是我们的风格
Come on, guys, this isn't us.
难道我们要坐以待毙吗
Are we just going to sit here and take it?
我们惹了麻烦通常都怎么办
What do we normally do when we get into a scrape?
把事情搞的糟糕透顶 然后就结束了
We normally make things worse and worse and then it ends.
不 我们团结一心
No, we don't. We stick together.
听起来不像我们的风格
That doesn't sound like us.
你听谁说的... -告诉我 我们是谁
Where you're getting that from...- Come on, who are we?
我们是谁 大声告诉我
Who are we? I want to hear you say it!
我们是IT... -我们是IT部
We're the IT... - We're the IT...Department.
太他妈对了
You're goddamn right we are!
你现在穿着女裤吗 -说的极是
Are you wearing women's slacks? - Yes, I am.
我说的就是这个
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
我们弄辆车开开吧
Let's get into a car and cruise around.
怎么弄 -砸窗户 好主意
How to get into a car? - Smash a window. Great idea.
就是这辆了
That's the one.
道格拉斯因纹身致感染截肢 装上了机器手 详见S04E03
我真蠢 我不是有只机器手嘛
I'm such an idiot. I've got a robot hand.
等等 这是我自己的车
Hang on a second. This is my car.
该死 没事 大家淡定
Oh, shit. Wow-wow-wow. It's all right, everyone, be cool.
我来处理 拿着
I'll handle this. Take that.
警官你放心 我正录《神秘百万富翁》呢
It's all right, Officer, I'm doing Secret Millionaire.
小伙伴们 快想快想快想 现在是怎样
Come on, come on, come on, people. What's going on?
小伙伴们 快想快想快想
Come on, come on, come on, people.
他那条裤子穿了有多久了
How long has he been wearing the trousers?
他不肯脱
He won't take them off.
快想快想快想 现在是怎样
OK, come on, come on, come on...What's going on,
现在是怎样 -我们不知道你抽什么疯 莫斯
What's going on? - We don't know what's happening, Moss.
快想 任何问题皆有解
OK, come on. To every problem, there's a solution.
咱们的问题是什么 呀么是什么
What's our problem here? What's our problem?
大家觉得我是仇恨女人的臭婆娘
Everyone thinks I'm a cow who hates women.
你是臭婆娘
You're a cow.
讨厌的臭婆娘 女人 很好
Terrible cow. Women, OK.
罗伊 震惊我
Roy, hurt me.
我爱的女人以为我仇恨矮个
Erm, the woman I love thinks that I hate small people.
矮个子 谢谢 罗伊
Small people, thank you, Roy.
我估计会在放着A片的电脑前孤独而死
I'm probably going to die alone in front of computer pornography.
就画张苦逼脸 -好吧
I'll just draw a sad face. - Sure.
那么 女人和矮个都喜欢什么
OK, so what do women and small people both like?
他们都喜欢什么
What do they both like?
椅子 -电影
Chairs. - Films.
我真想不出来 -我来告诉你们
I really don't know. - I'll tell you.
他们八竿子都打不着啊
It's just they seem like very different groups.
完全不相干啊
Very different groups.
"不被人攻击"
Not being attacked.
他们都喜欢 "不被人攻击"
They both love not being attacked.
矮个们我不敢说 但作为一个女人
Well, I can't speak for small people, obviously, but as a woman,
我绝对喜欢 "不被人攻击"
I certainly like not being attacked.
接下来怎么办 莫斯
Where are you going with this, Moss?
我告诉你接下来该怎么办 罗伊
I'll tell you exactly where I'm going with this, Roy.
我们利用道格拉斯不在的这段时间
I'm saying that we use this brief window, while Douglas is away,
用我之前给罗伊的那玩意
to produce a pepper-spray solution for small women,
为矮个女人制♥作♥一款辣椒喷雾剂
using that stuff I gave Roy earlier.
听起来十分不靠谱
That sounds really weird.
珍·芭柏 非但不是女性仇恨者
Jen Barber, not a hater of women
反而是她们的捍卫与拥护者
but their defender, their champion.
顿时靠谱了
I love it now.
我可以开一次大型发布会
And I can do a massive presentation.
专为矮个女人准备的
A self-defence pepper spray
自卫辣椒喷雾剂也很符合我的需求
for small women suits my purposes also.
作为一个家有矮个亲戚的女性
It will show Alice that I care and,
我可以借此向爱丽丝表现我的关怀
as a woman with small relatives,
她肯定会出席珍的发布会
she's sure to come to Jen's presentation.
当我一开始
You know, when I first stocked
用迷你冰箱屯辣椒喷雾剂的时候
that mini-fridge with pepper-spray solution,
我还犹豫是不是做的太多了...
I thought I'd made too much...
直到现在我才意识到
but only now do I realise
原来我当时制♥作♥的量恰好够今日之用
that I'd made exactly the right amount for our current purposes.
这主意真是好得过分
It almost seems like it's too good an idea.
瞧见没 这就是我们团结的力量
You see what we can do when we work together?
有了我的商业才智
With my business acumen...
我的科学头脑 -还有我呢
My scientific know-how... - And I'm also here...
我们无所不能 -耶
We can do anything! - Yes! Yes!
我得脱裤子休息下
I need a trouser break.
一起去吗 罗伊
You coming, Roy?
我在准备对爱丽丝的演讲
I can't seem to get the wording of
但找不到合适的措辞
this speech to Alice right.
你还要演讲呐
You're doing a speech?
我要让她知道我不是"情感色盲"
Yeah, I need to show her that I'm not emotionally colour-blind.
我是一个非常敏感的男人
I'm actually a very sensitive human man,
她一定要明白这点
and she needs to know that.
"奶♥子♥"有什么更浪漫的表达吗
Oooh, what's a more romantic word for "Knockers"?
更加浪漫的表达?
A more romantic word?
走啦大家 保护女人去咯
Come on, guys. Let's protect women!
马上就到 -祝你好运
I'll meet you up there. - Good luck.
多谢
Thanks.
著名歌♥手 被称为"最令人感到亢奋的女人"
厄莎·姬特的奶♥子♥
Eartha Kitt's!
都准备好了吗
Right, is everything ready?
一切就绪 海报贴好了
Yeah, well, I've got the posters up
每张椅子旁边都放了有辣椒水的礼品袋
and I've put gift bags with pepper spray beside each chair.
我觉得把辣椒喷雾装在这种
Now, I think it was a master stroke
高端大气上档次的瓶子里真是妙极了
to put the spray in these elegant bottles.
保护自己的同时还不失时髦风范
Why not look stylish while you defend yourself?
但我总觉得有些不太对劲
Something's bothering me, though.
这里面会不会有什么明显的错误
Are we missing something
可我们却毫无察觉?
that's very obviously wrong with this idea?
新品发布
瞎眼水
保护你自己
我不这么认为 瞧 大家都来了
I really don't think so. Oh, look, here comes everyone.
大家好 欢迎来到这个特别的发布会
Hello, and welcome to this very special
这是我作为一个女人 一个爱♥女♥人♥的女人
presentation for women by a woman,
为广大女性特别准备的
me a woman, who loves women.
每个座位旁都有个礼品袋 里面放着
By your seats you'll find a gift bag, and in that gift bag
我们振奋人心的最新产品
you'll find our very exciting new product.
不 别喷
No, don't do that.
这不是给你们...
No, you're not supposed to...
我有事一定要跟你说
I have some things I have to say to you!
不 我要走 -不 你哪都不准去
No, I need to go. - No, you are going nowhere.
我知道 你以前怪我
Now, I know in the past that you have accused me
说我是"情感色盲"
of being emotionally colour-blind.
闭嘴 听我说 我现在已经改了
Shut up and listen. But now I've changed -