IT狂人特别篇（2013）

Hello? Alice?
真奇怪 -怎么了
That was weird. - What?
好吧 这他妈算什么
OK, so, what the hell is that?
她说祖父去世了
So she tells me that her grandfather died,
要我陪她去葬礼
she wants me to go to the funeral.
我说非常乐意 她就挂电♥话♥了
I say that I'd be delighted, and then she hangs on me.
她祖父的葬礼? -是啊
Her grandfather's funeral? - Yeah.
你们刚刚在说这个? -没错
That's what you were just talking about just there? - That's right.
听你那口气像是要去看演唱会
You sounded like you were being invited to Glastonbury.
对哦 葬礼应该是悲伤的
Oh, funerals are sad.
你刚才可一点也不悲伤
You did not sound sad.
我分心了
I wasn't concentrating.
还情感艺术 我看你是情感缺陷
Emotionally artistic? You're emotionally colour-blind,
一点没错
that's what you are.
没准我真是"情感色盲"
Maybe I am emotional colour-blind.
我之前还想去找那小个子 -是啊
I was about to confront that little man. - I know.
还想跟他理论身高
I was going to give him shit about his height.
幸亏你意识到了这么做有多不合适
Glad you realise now how inappropriate that would've been.
还是留个条子比较好
I'll just leave him a note.
我来这是有目的的 -好的
I'm here on purpose. - Oh, yes.
我想看看女裤 -我明白
I'm interested in women's slacks. - I see.
我想... 不好意思 耳朵有点热
I'd like... Sorry. Hot ear.
我想买♥♥一条女裤
I'd like to buy a pair of women's slacks.
我穿 不是女人穿
For me, not for a woman.
好的 没有问题
Oh, yes, well, that shouldn't be a problem.
我并不是想打扮成女人 -我理解
I'm not trying to look like a woman. - I understand.
只是不太自信
I'm not a confident man.
的确 我来帮您挑选
Quite. Well, let's see what we can do for you.
这样好吗? -你让他们做就是了
I don't know about this. - Oh, just ask them, Jen.
我和胡安有点火花
Me and Juan, we have a thing.
我可不想再让那个袖珍咖啡男
I don't want another splashy-splashy coffee
给我弄杯奶沫满地撒的咖啡
from the teeny-tiny coffee man.
可怜的女人
Poor woman.
不 别给钱 你不应该给钱
No, no, no, don't give her money. You're not supposed to do that.
我是个人 罗伊 我是有感情的
I'm actually a person, Roy, with human feelings.
不好意思 我以为你...
I'm sorry, I thought you were...
该怎么办 5英镑 5英镑够吗
I don't know what to do. Here's 5 pounds. Do you want 5 pounds?
我不知道你要不要钱
I don't know if you want money.
抱歉 抱歉
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
真是抱歉
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
怎么了 -管他呢 快跑
What happened? - Never mind, just go.
怎么样 -我觉得...
What do you think? - I think...
哥我对你卖♥♥的女裤很满意
you just sold a brother some slacks.
救命 救命 放开我
Help, help, get off me!
放手 -你们欺负人
Let go. - You're a bully.
得去救老奶奶 但我没有自信
Need to save that old woman, but I have no confidence.
喂
Hey!
谢谢你
Thank you.
来吧 你不用排队 过来
Hey, come, come, no queue for you. Come on.
你好 胡安 -我和她一起的
Hello, Juan. - I'm with her.
好一个惊喜啊
It must be my birthday.
这么快又见到你了 -对呀 又回来了
I get to see you twice so quick. - Yes, Back again.
跟之前的一样 谢谢
Same as usual, please.
能不能帮我个忙
Could I ask you a huge favour
给这位罗伊也做一杯咖啡
and ask you to make Roy's coffee for him, too?
我一直在说你
I've been going on and on about you.
我喜欢她口中的你
And I like what I heard.
可以吗 你不介意吧
Would that be OK? Would you mind?
当然可以 你说什么都行亲爱的
Of course, anything for you, my sweet. OK.
一时手滑
Slippery fingers.
还好吧 -好个屁
It's all right. - It's not all right.
你看 竟给我画上了胡子
Look, it looks like me with a beard.
什么鬼东西 太恶心了
I don't want this. It's horrible.
我的天呐
Oh, my God!
我不是故意的 我不是讨厌你
I didn't mean to. I don't hate you.
我不是故意的
None of this is on purpose.
我该怎么办 给你点钱吧
What can I do? Let me give you some money.
给你10英镑 我的天呐
Here's 10 pounds. Oh, my God!
我不认识她
I'm not with her.
喂 这是你写的吗 -什么 不是
Oi! Oi! Did you write this comment? - What? No.
你对矮个子有意见吗
You've got a problem with smaller people?
我对矮个子没意见好吗 真没有
I don't have a problem with small people, OK? I don't.
我只是不想让你给我做咖啡
I just don't want you making my coffee.
因为你水平很烂 你做的咖啡糟透了
Because you're bad at it. You're bad at making coffee.
你太矮了 你这么矮怎么能调出好咖啡
You're too small. You're too small to make good coffee.
去你♥妈♥的♥ -不
You know what? Up yours. - No!
小不点 小心
Little man, watch out!
这就是"年度最火视频"
It's being called the Viral Video of the Year.
一位女子将咖啡泼向了流浪♥妇♥
A woman throws her coffee onto a tramp
而一位男子与矮个咖啡店员发生了争执
and then a man has an argument with a small barista.
你太矮了
You're just too small.
咖啡店员过马路时
The barista goes to cross the road
被大奶货车袭身
and is hit by a van with breasts.
这位被网♥络♥评♥论♥员♥封为
The woman who's been dubbed by various online commentators
泼咖啡婊
"泼咖啡婊"的女子目前身份未知...
as Coffee Tramp Toss Bitch has not been identified,
而"矮个种族歧视男"也...
while the man known as Small Person Racist was also...
矮子根本算不上种族
Small people are not a race.
我们演的又不是《权力的游戏》
This isn't Game Of Thrones.
他们居然在新闻里叫我婊♥子♥
They're actually calling me a bitch on the news.
到底发生了什么
What the hell happened there?
你怎么发现是我俩的
How did you find out it was us?
都写在每周监视报告上呢
It's all here in the weekly surveillance report.
你怎么了琼 我助理的素质怎么可以这么低
What's going on, Joan? I expect better from my assistant.
我不是你的助理 我也不叫琼
I'm not your assistant. My name isn't Joan.
你跟无家可归的人有什么仇
What's your beef with the homeless?
我跟他们没仇
I don't have any homeless beef.
那你就是仇视女性
Ah, so it's women you hate.
那我就能理解了
Well, that I can understand.
你记录我们的电子邮件 还录下通话内容
Whoa, whoa, you record our e-mails and tape our phone calls?
快擦干眼泪 乡巴佬
All right, dry your eyes, Bono.
不做亏心事 不怕鬼敲门
If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear.
这不是我的错 瑞农先生
It wasn't my fault Mr. Renholm.
我绝不会把咖啡泼到无家可归的妇女身上
I would never throw coffee over a homeless woman.
我也绝不会挖苦矮个子
I would never abuse a small person,
更不会让长奶♥子♥的货车去撞他
certainly not enough to make a van with tits hit him.
尽管 我想我确实挖苦了一下下
Although, I suppose I sort of did.
我也确实泼了一杯
I sort of did my one, too.
咱俩这么做可真是有碍社会和谐 -确实
It's frustrating that we did both of our things. - Yes, it is.
够了 饶了我吧
All right, spare me.
我也年轻过 但如果消息走漏
I was young once, but if this gets out, this could deeply damage
瑞农企业生产那啥玩意的能力将会严重受损
Renholm Industry's ability to make that product that we make.
你想让我们怎么做 瑞农先生
What do you want us to do, Mr. Renholm?
什么都别做 远离麻烦 记住
Don't do anything. Stay out of trouble and remember.
还有比地下室更低的地方
There are places lower than the basement.
别担心了 珍 没人认得出我们
Stop worrying, Jen. Nobody can make us out in that video.
就像"开心刷耳光"的录像 放松
It's just like early footage of happy slapping. Just relax.
年轻人向路人掌掴 然后拍下攻击时的画面
我可放松不了 你无所谓 我可有宏图大志
I can't relax. It's all right for you. I have plans.
我想要到楼上办公
I want to get up there.
我可不想做社交食人鱼 -做什么?
I will not be a social piranha. - A what, now?
珍 看看这个
Hey Jen, take a look at this.
这是什么 -改头换面版《卡牌番》
What is it? - It's the new-look game board.
20万浏览量 -是啊 大不同了
200,000 views? - I know. It's a bit different.
睁大眼睛 卡牌番 -闭上臭嘴 这是...
Check it out. Game board. - Shut the fridge. It's...
卡牌番 -哔 卡牌番
Game board. - BLEEP game board.
你再说一遍
Say what?
你们看起来是有些不同了 -没错
Wow! You all seem different somehow. - Yes.
我们都穿着女裤
We're all wearing women's trousers.
这样啊
Oh. Right.
近来如何 一起来玩卡牌番吧
Hey, what's going on? Let's get the game board.
这位是... -牛顿·辛克莱