超级魔术师

not a big cat magician.
我想在舞台上发光
I want to kill onstage,
而不是被老虎咬掉手
not have some tiger rip my hand...
我不想死 我想...
I don't want to get killed. I want to kill on...
还是别提了
You know what? Just forget it.
-太难了 -确实难
-It's tough. -It is tough.
-太难了 -真可笑
-It is tough. -It was funny in my head.
要是我离开老虎超过一小时
If I spend more than an hour away from my cats...
他们就会忘记我是谁 然后吃掉我
...they forget who I am and attack me.
听起来好像我老婆孩子
Sounds like my wife and kids.
我说的"老婆孩子"
If, you know, by "wife and kids"
我是指我的小老鼠
I meant my ferrets.
你懂的 如果我有妻儿
You know, if I had a wife and kids
不只我一个人在家
and wasn't just home alone.
-那边怎么了 -一根接一根的吃冰棒
-What's going on out there? -Eating Popsicle after Popsicle.
说不清楚 我们去看看怎么回事
I don't know, we should probably go check it out.
我们是一个团体 还是一群朋友
Like, as a group? Bunch of friends?
非常感谢 大家看起来思想很开放
Appreciate it. You seem like an open-minded crowd.
很多人可能很难接受
Things are about to happen here
即将在这里发生的事情
that may be difficult for many of you to process.
如果你有洁癖
If you're at all squeamish,
我建议你去赌场躲一躲
I encourage you to take shelter inside the casinos.
要么观看
Move along.
要么就关掉吧
Or just turn it off.
我给你们选择的时间
I'll give you a moment.
恭喜你们 非常勇敢
Congratulations. You are truly brave.
但愿你们准备好面对火焰了
I only hope you're ready to face the fire!
把它弄掉 弄掉
Get it off! Get off!
他指了你一下火球就出来了
He totally nailed you with that fireball, man.
对不起 但我暗自欢喜
Sorry. Guilty pleasure.
消遣你可真好 别管这话什么意思
You're a really good sport. Whatever that means.
-你能帮我变个魔术吗 -当然可以
-Would you like to help me with a trick? -Sure.
他同意了
Now he done it.
这货是谁
Who is this hot mess?
他是史蒂夫?格雷 街头魔术师
That's Steve Gray, the street magician.
他是魔术师 他都没有演出服
That guy's a magician? He doesn't even have a costume.
选一张牌 然后把卡片和数字给大家看看
Pick a card. Show it to the crowd and that whole deal.
然后把记号♥笔从你口袋里拿出来
Now take the marker from your pocket...
把令堂的名字写上去
...and write your mother's name on that card.
但是我没有...
But I don't have a...
神了
Oh, snap!
这些摄像机是怎么回事
What's with all the cameras?
他在拍电视节目
Oh, he's shooting his cable show,
史蒂夫?格雷:大脑破坏者
Steve Gray: Brain Rapist.
-大脑破坏者 -对啊
-"Brain Rapist"? -Yeah.
你都不关注新闻吗
You live in a bubble or something?
我们继续
Come on, come on, come on.
桃乐茜 他母亲名叫桃乐茜
Dorothy. His mother's name is Dorothy.
好美的名字
Pretty name.
我把这张牌放进这副牌中间
I'm gonna take Dorothy, slide her into the center of the deck...
然后放回口袋
...and put her back in my pocket.
现在 揍我脸
Now punch me in the face.
-什么 -揍我脸 使劲揍
-What? -Punch me in the face. Hard as you can.
-我不揍 -当然了
-I'm not gonna do that. -Of course.
有时人们很难理解
Sometimes the roles we're forced to
自己在生活中扮演的角色
play in life are difficult to understand.
就像你母亲 桃乐茜
Like your mother, Dorothy...
一个到处留情 以卖♥♥淫为生的妓♥女♥
...who, for the good of sailors everywhere, lived the life of a whore.
桃乐妓 人们就是这样叫她的
Whorethy. That's what they called her.
别挣扎了 桃乐妓
Surrender, Whorethy.
你永远回不了家了 桃乐妓
You're not in Kansas anymore, Whorethy.
-别打了 -天哪
-No, no, no. -Jesus.
-那傻子不疼吗 -那一拳看起来是真的
-Is that guy a plant? -That looked like a real punch.
我没事
It's okay!
我已经原谅他了
I've already forgiven him.
我激怒了他 唤醒了他痛苦的躯体
I provoked him and awakened his pain body.
脸肿得真快
That's swelling up pretty quick.
我得释放点压力了
I better let the pressure off.
好多了
Better.
等等
Ha-ha-ha. Wait.
感觉里面有个东西
Feels like there's something in there.
让我来
Let me just...
一
One!
二
Two!
三
Three!
爸爸保佑我
Daddy!
我想知道这是什么
I wonder what this could be.
这是那张牌
It's the card!
真是疯了
Oh, that's nuts!
以此开场
As it was in the beginning...
亦以此收尾
...so shall it be in the end.
我曾努力温暖他们
I tried to warn them.
结束了
That's it.
兄弟 这真疯狂啊
That's crazy, man!
散了 散了
Go! Go!
你好 以前没在这见过你
Hello. I haven't seen you around.
我相信我尚未有此荣幸与你会见
I don't believe I have had the pleasure.
我们刚才在街上偶然看到你的演出
We caught your thing out on the street...
虽然很恶心 但是魔术很棒
...and it was disgusting. But pretty good.
好 坏
Good. Bad.
我不吃这一套的
I don't eat from that tree.
你能否为我签个名呢
Hey, any chance I can get you to sign something for me?
好吧 我通常不亲笔签名的
Oh, well, I don't usually sign autographs,
但今天我就破个例
but I suppose I can make an exception.
这个是授权协议
It's a release form.
以防你被我们拍下来
Just in case we caught you in the background.
我可不想给你脸部打上马赛克
I don't want to have to pixelate your face.
我需要签一下吗
-Do I need to sign a release form?
不用 我们会给你打马赛克的
-No, I can pixelate your face.
听着 我们在巴利酒店有演出
So, anywho, we have a show over at Bally's...
如果你想来看看我们表演
...and I could get you some comps,
我可以给你弄几张票
if you'd like to take a look at our act.
其中一个魔术是雌雄...
We do this one trick, it's a man's head...
这样吧
I tell you what.
你们假装我还在这 接着说完吧
Pretend I'm still here and tell me all about it.
来自芝加哥的大脑破坏者
From Chicago, Brain Rapist.
瞪眼的世界纪录是24小时
The world record for staring was 24 hours.
但是我已经这样瞪了3天多了
But I've been doing it for over three days now and,
说实话 我累了
frankly, I'm bored.
所以我要在眼睛上撒点辣椒水
So I'm gonna spice things up with a little pepper spray.
来吧
Bring it.
你看到我眨眼了吗 我可没眨眼
Do you see me blinking? I'm not blinking!
坚持很久很久了
For a very long time!
他是神啊 胡椒粉之神
-He's like a god. A god of pepper spray.
不忍♥直视 但又励志
Uncomfortable, but in a great way.
肯定不是人类
Certainly not human.
他打破了记录
He broke the record!
在巴利酒店
Here at Bally's,
你将享受婴儿般无微不至的关怀
you'll be pampered like an enormous baby.
每个房♥间都有吹风机和熨烫板
There's a hair dryer and an ironing board in every room.
如果你喜欢牛排西餐厅
And if you like steakhouses...
你会爱上巴利冠名的西餐厅的
you'll love Bally's signature steakhouse,
巴利牛排西餐厅
Bally's Steakhouse.
晚餐之后请来观赏
And after dinner,
超级魔术师伯特和安东
check out the Incredible Burt & Anton...
在本剧院的表演
...in their own Burt & Anton Theater.
女士们 先生们 晚上好
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
我是伯特?沃德斯通
I'm Burt Wonderstone.
我是安东?马维尔特
And I'm Anton Marvelton.
你们肯定已经知道我们的名字了
But, of course, you already knew that.
为完成这项不可思议的表演