超级魔术师

我要杀了你 韦瑟斯汀
I'm gonna kill you, Weinselstein!
蠢货
-Twerp.
你跑什么 韦瑟 我要送你生日礼物
Why you running away, Weinselstein? I got you a birthday present.
没事 你什么都不用给我
That's okay. You didn't have to get anything.
我送你些树皮 你得吃下去
I got you some bark. And you're gonna eat it.
-好呀 我本来就打算吃点树皮 -你不会这样做的
-Cool. I was gonna eat bark anyway. -No, you weren't.
真的 看到没
Yeah. See? All the things you were gonna do to me,
我已经打算吃树皮了
I was already planning on doing.
好吃
Mm. Mm, so good.
真好吃
Yummy. Unh!
-那你现在打算死翘翘了吗 -对啊
-You planning on not being able to breathe? -Yes.
听我说 韦瑟斯汀 没人喜欢你
Listen to me, Weinselstein. Nobody likes you.
永远不会有人喜欢你 你明白吗
Nobody will ever like you. Do you understand that?
快 我们快走
Come on. Let's split.
再见 废物
Goodbye, loser.
妈妈 我回来了
Mom? I'm home.
妈妈
Mom?
生日快乐 小男子汉
Happy birthday, little man.
我又要加班了 但我非常爱你 妈妈
I had to work a double shift again, but I love you very much. Mom.
另外 晚饭在冰箱里
P. S. Dinner is in the fridge,
柜子上还有你最喜欢的蛋糕
and I got you your favorite cake. It's on the counter.
把两勺油和两个鸡蛋放一起搅匀
Combine the mix with two tablespoons of oil and two eggs.
鸡蛋没了 所以你得出去买♥♥
We're out of eggs, so you'll need to run out and get them.
把烤箱预热到华氏350度
Preheat the oven to 350...
用油和面粉做一个9乘13寸的蛋糕胚
...grease and flour a 9 " x 13" cake pan
然后把鸡蛋糊倒进去
and then pour the batter into the pan.
小心 不要洒出来了
Careful not to spill.
小朋友们 大家好 我是兰瑟?霍罗伟
Hello, my young friends. I'm Rance Holloway.
你们也许在莫夫?格里芬的表演中
You've probably seen me on The Merv Griffin Show...
或在拉斯维加斯
...or live onstage...
著名的假日大酒店的舞台见过我
...at the fabulous Stardust Resort and Casino in Las Vegas.
我在那里表演魔术 比如滑板魅影
That's where I perform such tricks as "Skateboarding Ghost"...
神奇的无线电♥话♥
..."The Amazing Cordless Telephone"...
还有我非常有名的魔术口吐小鸟
...and my very famous "Mouth Birds" illusion.
你们喜欢这个魔术吗 肯定喜欢
Did you like that? Of course you did.
它超乎你的想象 这就是魔术的神奇之处
That trick just blew your mind, because that's what magic does.
它超乎人们的想象
It blows people's minds.
欢迎来到魔法的神奇世界
Welcome to the amazing world of magic.
一个能使你身边人惊讶与迷惑的世界
A world where you can astonish and enchant those around you.
因为人人都喜欢魔术师
Because everyone loves a magician.
如果你跟着我学 大家也会喜欢你
And if you follow my instructions, they'll love you too.
现在 我们从一个简单的魔术开始
Let's begin now with a simple illusion...
空中摘硬币
...where we pull pennies out of our nose.
变
Alakazam!
-怎么做到的呀 -魔术师不能把秘密告诉别人
-How'd you do that? -A magician never tells his secrets.
-好吧 -其实是个橡皮手指
-Oh. Okay. -It's a rubber thumb.
好神奇啊
Oh, cool!
-我叫安东尼?梅尔茨 -我是艾尔伯特?韦瑟斯汀
-I'm Anthony Mertz. -Albert Weinselstein.
你就是那个总去校医办公室的小孩吧
You're that kid who's always in the nurse's office, right?
不是 有时他们也送我去医院的
Not always. Sometimes they send me to the hospital.
这些东西是做什么的
What are those for?
这是我的过敏药 这个是哮喘药
This one's for my allergies, and this one's for my asthma.
这个是睾丸素
And this is testosterone.
医生说我面临变性的危险
My doctor says I'm dangerously close to being a girl.
你还知道其它戏法吗
Do you know any other tricks?
我家有一整套魔术工具
I have a whole magic kit at home.
仔细看
Behold.
这顶帽子是空的 很普通
An empty top hat. Perfectly normal.
变
Alakazam!
天啊 你就像个小男巫
Wow. You're like a boy witch.
谢谢夸奖
Thank you.
干嘛不把装水的塑料袋放在暗层里
Hey. What if you put a plastic bag of water in the hidden compartment?
那么出来的就是水 而不是亮片啦
Then water would come out instead of confetti.
-你想成为我的搭档吗 -我非常想
-Do you wanna be my partner? -More than anything.
我觉得我们应该开始把魔术点子记下来
Okay. I think we should start writing down our trick ideas.
-比如记在笔记本上 -太棒了
-Like in a notebook. -Yes.
一本施过魔法的笔记本
An enchanted notebook,
有皮革封面和扣子
with leather and buckles.
-我只有一本普通笔记本 -这个也行
-All I have is a regular notebook. -That'll work.
所以我们第一个魔术是
So then our first trick should be
帽子里的亮片
"Confetti Out of a Hat."
-真棒 -看
-Awesome. -Ta-da.
厉害 太厉害了
Incredible. Incredible.
伯特 伯特
Burt. Burt.
我想要你为我工作
I want you to come work for me.
就在这儿 巴利酒店
Here, at Bally's.
太棒了
Ah! Heh.
但我需要你做一件事情
But I need you to do one thing for me.
我要你甩掉安东
I need you to dump Anton.
他怎么说呢 他很丑
He's... Well, he's homely.
无意冒犯
No offense.
我不接受
None taken.
不好意思 道格 安东和我是一个整体
I'm sorry, Doug. Anton and I are a team.
过去是 将来也是
Always have been, always will be.
既然这样 小伙子们 欢迎来到巴利酒店
Fair enough. Welcome to Bally's, boys.
恭喜你们
Congratulations.
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen.
超级魔术师伯特和安东
The Incredible Burt and Anton!
十年后
女士们 先生们 晚上好
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Burt Wonderstone.
我是伯特?沃德斯通
I'm Burt Wonderstone.
我是安东?马维尔特
And I'm Anton Marvelton.
你们肯定已经知道我们的名字了
But, of course, you already knew that.
你们可能不知道 我和伯特
What you may not know is that Burt and I...
从小就是魔术伙伴和搭档
...have been magical friends and partners since we were young boys.
我们一直知道
We always knew
我们的友谊从小就有些与众不同
there was something a little bit different about our friendship.
伯特 你还记得我们的悬挂者游戏吗
Remember our games of Hangman, Burt?
安东 我当然记得
I sure do, Anton.
不过我们玩得跟其他小孩太不一样了
But we didn't play it quite the way the other kids did.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
有请我们的美女助手 妮可
our beautiful assistant, Nicole.
等一下 安东
Hold on, hold on, hold on, Anton.
我们是来玩魔术的
We're here to do magic,
不是来玩妮可的
not Nicole.
现在表演
Right now, it's time for:
悬挂者
-"Hangman." -"Hangman."
这就是为什么我们谓之
And that's why we call it:
魔术师的友谊
-A magical friendship. -A magical friendship.
夜复一夜 这该死的魔术
Night after night after night, I am in magic hell.
你换位置时就不能再快一点吗
Could you take any more time making the switch?
我跟个白♥痴♥一样站在斗篷下面
-I'm standing under that cloak like an asshole.
让我缓口气吧
-Give me a break.
我们10年来都是这样交换位置的
I've been doing the switch the same way I've done it for the last 10 years.
你只是没耐心
You're just impatient.
安东 我没耐心是因为
I am impatient, Anton, because
得和一身臭汗的渣男站在一个斗篷里
I have to share a cloak with a sweaty walrus-man.
你就是想赶快结束表演
You just want to get the show over with.
能让他洗个澡吗 好好洗干净
Could we get a towel for him, please? Dab it down.
-我汗多是因为我努力表演 -接着我的手♥机♥
-I sweat because I work hard. -Take my phone!
你觉得在黑暗中稳住你的安全带很容易吗
You think it's easy securing your safety harness in the dark?
你宁愿我用绳子勒断你的脖子
Would you rather I let the noose just snap your neck off?
能不能演出后不要这么争吵呢
Can we do one show without this bitch-fest?
真是对不起
I'm sorry.
我们毁了您这位完美模特的表演吗
Are we hurting your performance as a walking mannequin?
够了 你知道吗 我要辞...
-That's it. You know what? I qu... -You quit? You quit?
-我辞...我辞... -你辞职 你辞职
-I qui... I qui... -You quit? You quit?
你辞职
You quit?
我不干了
-Ugh! I quit!
去太阳马戏团找个工作吧
-Go get a job at Cirque du So-lame.
这是这个月第二个辞职的了