欢喜冤家（2021）

♪ "Mercy" by Duffy ♪
♪ Hit the beat, and take it to the beat ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Eh, eh, eh ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ And I love you, ooh ♪
♪ But I gotta stay true, ooh ♪
♪ My morals got me on my knees ♪
♪ I'm begging, please, stop playing games... ♪
我有套理论
I have a theory:
讨厌一个人到极点的时候
hating someone feels disturbingly like falling in
就像爱上他了一样
love with them.
你的胃会很不安分 食欲和睡眠都会不正常
Your stomach twists and flips, your appetite and sleep are
心跳则沉重的明显
shredded, your heart beats heavy and bright,
还会反映在身体状况和衣着上
nearly visible through your flesh and clothes.
可以帮我按一下电梯吗
Can you please hold the elevator?
抱歉 喔
Sorry. -Ooh!
来不及了
Already in motion.
等
But--
每次的互动都会使血液里充满着
Every interaction spikes your blood with
肾上腺素
adrenaline...
啊
Ugh!
而你的身体几乎是不受控的状态
And your body is barely under your control.
这里曾经是凯敏出版社
This used to be the home of Gamin Publishing,
以坚持将文学作为艺术而闻名
known for its insistence on literature as art...
直到一年前 因为面临破产
until a year ago, faced with bankruptcy,
被迫与贝克希图书合并
it was forced to merge with Bexley Books,
一个以脑残体育明星的鬼画符自传
an evil empire known for ghostwritten autobiographies of
闻名的邪恶帝国
brain-damaged sports stars.
别搞错了 贝克希和凯敏是在战争状态
Make no mistake: the Bexleys and Gamins are at war.
♪ You got me beggin' you for mercy ♪
♪ Why won't you release me? ♪
就像那位美国心理专家每天在那里玩模仿游戏
As for American Psycho over there playing the copycat game
别无理由 只是为了激怒我
for no reason but to piss me off...
是啊 对他恨之入骨
yeah, hate him with a passion.
我的意思是说 他可能看起来人畜无害
I mean, sure, he's easy on the eyes,
但别被那骗了
but don't let that fool you.
正如莎士比亚所述
As Shakespeare would say:
有时候 公平即犯规
Sometimes, fair is foul.
♪ Why won't you release me? ♪
♪ You got me begging, you got me begging ♪
♪ You got me begging ♪
♪ Mercy ♪
♪ Why won't you release me? ♪
♪ You got me begging you for mercy ♪
♪ Why won't you release me? ♪
♪ I said you better release me ♪
我讨厌乔许这个人的原因有几个
My reasons for hating Joshua Templeman are several.
第一 我没看他笑过
One: I have never seen him smile.
喔 嗨
Oh, hi!
你一定是乔许
You must be Josh.
听说我们未来会共事
I hear we'll be working together.
喔
Oh!
我帮你准备了一瓶盆栽
I got you a plan for your desk.
♪ I said you better release me... ♪
第二 他完全就是个控制狂
Two: he's a total control freak.
看看他桌子
Just look at his desk.
♪ Begging you for mercy ♪
♪ Just why won't you release me? ♪
♪ I'm begging you for mercy ♪
♪ You got me begging... ♪
这家伙每个礼拜都照顺序穿同样的衬衫
I mean, the guy wears the same shirts in the same order every week.
星期一：浅灰
Monday: dove gray.
星期二：白色
Tuesday: white.
星期三：粉蓝
Wednesday: powder blue.
星期四：窗户玻璃蓝
Thursday: window pane blue.
还有礼拜五：正牌蓝
And Friday: true blue.
第三个理由：他总是会纠正我所犯的任何微小错误
Reason number three: he always corrects any tiny mistake I make.
第四 也许也是最重要的一点 在合并后
Four, and perhaps most importantly: after the merger,
他带着一份被开除员工的名单走进来 其中包含了
he waltzed in with a list of people to fire and it included
我所有的同事
all my work friends...
同时也是我的好朋友们
which were all my friends.
所以现在呢 我被困在这 日复一日
So now, I'm trapped here, day after endless day,
与我的神经病宿敌同事独处
all alone with my one maniacal nemesis.
♪ You better release me ♪
欢喜
冤家
欢喜
冤家
♪ You got me begging, begging you for mercy ♪
♪ You got me begging, begging you for mercy ♪
♪ You got me begging ♪
♪ Begging you for mercy.... ♪
嗨 早安
Hi, good morning.
早安
Good morning.
贝克希看过这个了吗
Has Bexley seen this?
我有把它寄给乔许 所以我猜有
I emailed it to Josh, so I'm assuming.
那我们就在待办事项加个东西
We're adding something at the top of the agenda.
好 你要让我调整一下吗
Okay, do you want me to adjust it?
不 没关系
No, this is fine.
我宁愿当惊喜
I'd rather it be a surprise.
季度报告呢
Quarterlies?
放你桌上了
On your desk.
怎么样
How do they look?
呃 进度有点落后
Eh, lower than projected.
但比第二季好
But they are better than Q2.
我还和营销团队讨论了替代性印刷品战略
And I talked to the marketing team about alternative print
我真的认为这可能有助于向前发展
strategies, which I really think could help moving forward.
我还寄给你一份关于我计划的全公♥司♥团康活动
And I sent you a memo about a company-wide team-building event
的计划提案
that I'm planning.
但那些工人们宁愿吃老鼠骨头也不愿意参加
But workers would rather eat rat skeletons than participate
团队活动
in group activities.
同意 但自从合并以后 人力资源部门
Agreed, but HR has been overwhelmed with complaints
已经被投诉淹没了
since the merger.
有一半是投诉你和乔许的
Half of which are about you and Josh.
别理他
Don't mind her.
我不知道没有了你我该怎么办
I don't know what I'd do without you.
那么 你就得孤身一人跟撒旦和他的地狱猎犬相处
Well, you'd be all alone with Satan and his hell hound.
里面见 好
See you inside. -Okay.
露西
Lucy!
很高兴遇到你了
I am so glad that I caught you.
希望可以请你帮个小忙
I was hoping that I can ask you for, like, a tiny favor?
我需要延长月度报告的期限
I need an extension on the monthly report.
我的新小狗昨晚吃了花生酱 然后它就过敏了
My new puppy ate peanut butter last night and she's totally allergic.
它把便便放在另一只可卡布犬上 如果你懂我的意思就知道
She put the "poo" in "Cockapoo," if you know what I mean.
当然了
Sure
我会延长的
Of course.
你最棒了
You're the best.
我最迟在周一或周三会交
I'll have it Monday, Wednesday at the latest.
可悲啊
That was pathetic.
巴拉巴拉
Brrt.
谁是乔许啊
Who is Joshua Templeman?
露西啊 你可以直接叫他做好工作
You know, Lucinda, you could just tell her to do her job,
但你非得当个大好人
but no, you have to be the good guy.
至少比当混♥蛋♥好
It's a lot better than being the asshole.
感恩节快乐
Happy Thanksgiving!
好吧
'Kay.
杯子蛋糕 喔
Cupcake? -Oh.
谢谢 不客气
Thanks. -You're welcome.
你想要一个吗
You want one?
你竟然记得我生日
You remembered my birthday!
当然了
Of course!
给我们的
Our...
生日寿星
little birthday turkey.
耶
Yay!
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
喔
Ooh...
我昨天凌晨三点看到这个纪录片
You know, I watched this insane documentary last night.
YouTube演算法跑出来的 “烘焙历史”
Three AM, YouTube rabbit hole, "History of Baking."
你们知道果汁机是达文西发明的吗
Did you know that DaVinci invented the blender?
我发明了披萨盘
I invented pizza plate.
就是把一个披萨放在另一个上面吃
It's a second pizza you put under your first pizza to catch
这样就不会掉屑
the crumbs.
我们可以开始了吗
All right, can we please get started?
还是你们还需要再一点来闲聊
Or do you need another minute to chit-chat?