圣诞契约（2018）

-嘿 -派对要开始了
- Hey! - The party's about to start.
接下来的晚上 咱们这里不谈工作
This is a no-work zone for the rest of the night.
不是工作 这是一份礼物
Well, it's not work. It's a gift.
好吧 五分钟 不然我就把你拉黑
All right, five minutes, or you're on the naughty list.
宝贝 嗯
Whoo-hoo, babe, um,
想在蛋奶酒里加什么？
what do you spike the eggnog with?
朗姆酒还是波旁威士忌？
Rum or Bourbon?
-都可以 -嗯
- Either. - Hmm...
第一个客人到了
First guests!
我不是客人？
I'm not a guest?
姑娘 你不是 你是家人
Girl, no. You're family.
我两个都加点
I'm gonna use both.
切 只是我哥哥而已
Never mind, it's just my brother.
可真够热情呢 老妹
Wow. Let's dial down the enthusiasm, sis.
你也不要太过火了 马丁
[Naomi] And careful spiking that punch, Martin.
这是圣诞晚会 不是联谊会
This is a Christmas party, not a frat party.
不 不 杰克 别站起来 我来好了
No, no, Jack, please, don't get up. I've got it.
也祝你圣诞快乐 朱莉
And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jolie.
行了 也该吵够了 你们这些家伙
Enough squabbling, you guys.
杰克表现算不错了 至少他来了
Jack gets a pass from helping, because he showed up.
这不公平
That's not fair!
我们达成了约定 如果我来参加聚会
We made a deal. If I came to the party,
我不需要帮忙装扮
I didn't have to help decorate.
约定归约定
A deal's a deal.
真的吗？那是他所坚持的原则吗？
Seriously? That is the standard he's held to?
-参加就可以？ -是的
- Showing up? - [Jack] Yep.
我不希望我的婚礼重演
I do not want a repeat of my wedding, where you two were
你们俩整晚都为了谁来祝酒词吵得不可开交
just fighting all night about who's giving the last toast.
我是一个作家
Yeah, I'm a writer
还是她的哥哥 所以应该是我来
and her brother, so it should've been me.
我是伴娘
I was the maid of honor
好吧 听着
All right, look, just
客人来的时候要高兴点 好吗？
be pleasant when the guests arrive, all right?
好的
[Jack] OK.
什么？他？他总是爱发牢骚 你呢？
What? Him? He's always a grump, but you?
你为什么这么挑剔？
Why are you so fussy?
别这样 今天是圣诞节 你不想回家吗？
Come on, it's Christmas. Aren't you excited to go home?
-那个 -什么？
- About that. - What?
-你不回家？ -不 我要回家
- You're not going home? - No, I'm going home,
但福斯特和他的新女友也要回家
but so is Foster and his new girlfriend.
-这么早？ -嗯
- [gasps] Already? - Mm-hmm.
我今天才知道
I know, I just found out today.
-才六个月 -我知道
- It's only been six months! - I know!
我真的慌 想到我必须要见他
I was freaked out knowing that I was gonna have to see him,
结果现在 我还要和他和她一起出去
and now, I'm gonna have to hang out with him and her
而且最近这整段时间都要
the whole time.
你一定要见他吗？
[sighs] Do you have to see him?
是的 我们的爸爸得了个大奖
Yeah, our dads are getting this big award,
因为他们已经举办这个圣诞市场
because they've been putting on the Christmas Market
快30年了
for, like, 30 years,
所以市长会给他们城市之钥匙
so the mayor's giving them keys to the city.
然后 我们的父母
And then, our parents do this big bonfire
每年都在圣诞前夕会弄大篝火活动
right before Christmas Eve every year, and
从我们还是孩子的时候就开始了
they've been doing it since we were kids.
能打破这些传统吗?
Any chance of breaking those traditions?
我是说 我可以跳过篝火 但是
I mean, I can probably skip that bonfire, but...
不行 这个市场对我的家庭来说真的很特别
No, the market's really really special to my family.
还有我
And me.
如果你带个伴呢?
What if you bring a date?
哦 那我也得找得到才行
Oh, yes, cool, I'll just go get a date real fast.
我认识的每个男人不是结婚就是
Every guy I know is either married or...
跟我情况差不多
or related to me.
好吧 没事的 我们会想办法的
All right, it's gonna be OK. We'll think of something.
好吧 我们给你找个伴
All right, let's find you a date.
也许
Maybe...
不
Nope!
那个
Here we go.
哦
Oh...
但这并不像听起来那么刺♥激♥ 你知道吗?
But like, it's not as exciting as it sounds, you know?
事实上 大多数出版商只想卖♥♥书
In fact, most publishers, they only wanna sell books...
有了
And, bingo.
嘿 老大哥
Hey, big brother,
再提醒我一次你的圣诞计划
remind me of your Christmas plans again.
你知道我要和马丁的家人去科罗拉多吗
You know how I'm going to Colorado with Martin's family,
妈妈和爸爸正在地中海巡游？
and Mom and Dad are doing that Mediterranean cruise?
我觉得你已经给我讲过了
I feel like you've lectured me about this already.
呃 我没有任何计划
Uh, I don't have any plans.
我去写作了
I'm just gonna be writing.
-你应该和朱莉一起回家 -什么？
- You should go home with Jolie. - What?
你可以在路易斯安那和贵德里斯共度圣诞节
Yeah, you'll spend Christmas in Louisiana with the Guidrys.
什么？
What?
你总是说你想要更多的旅行
You're always saying you wanna travel more.
是的 独行
Yeah. Alone.
你可以随时独处啊
You can be alone anytime.
我错过了什么？
What am I missing?
娜欧米这番良苦用心呢
What Naomi is doing with the subtlety of a baboon,
是想给我一个圣诞节的伴儿
I might add, is trying to get me a date for Christmas,
因为福斯特要带一个可爱的新女朋友回家 所以
'cause Foster's bringing home a new cute girlfriend, so...
你不用和我一起去路易斯安那
You don't have to go with me to Louisiana.
哦 不 不 不 不 你应该去
Oh, no, no, no, no. You should go.
听着 光是吃的就值得去旅行
Listen, the food alone is worth the trip.
马丁
Martin!
确实如此 你可以在任何地方写作
Exactly. And you can write from anywhere.
伙计们 要让他假装是我男朋友
Guys, he'd be, like, pretending to be my boyfriend.
这很奇怪
That's... It's weird.
-我很奇怪？ -不 我是说 你不是
- I'm weird? - No, I mean, you're not...
你人不奇怪 我是说这情况很奇怪
You're not weird, but the situation is weird.
看到了吗？好了 你们已经听起来像一对了
See? There you go. You already sound like a couple.
不 我们没有
No, we don't.
好吧 那如果说只是一个朋友呢
OK, what if it's more like a buffer than a boyfriend?
你懂的 让你少一点 尴尬
You know, a plus-one to make it less... awkward.
哦 不那么尴尬 很好
Oh, less awkward. Cool.
完全正确 但是 宝贝
Exactly, but, baby,
杰克能从这得到什么好处呢？
what would Jack be getting out of this?
是的 杰克有什么好处？
Yeah, what would Jack be getting out of this?
知道自己在帮朋友带来的快乐
The joy of knowing that you're helping out a friend.
说不通
Ooh, hard pass.
实际上 我需要一个网站来写作
Actually, I could use a website for my novel.
是的 很不错
Yes! Perfect.
不 没有冒犯的意思
No. I mean, no offense, but you're just
你不是最可靠的人
not the most reliable guy.
此话怎讲？
What does that mean?
不好意思 你不记得了
I'm sorry, do you not remember,
5个月前是什么样子吗？
what was that, like, 5 months ago?
好吧 等等 等等 我错过了什么？
OK, wait, hold on, what am I missing?
她没告诉你？
She didn't tell you?
马丁 我六个月前搬到这里的时候
Martin. OK, when I moved here, like, 6 months ago,
娜奥米觉得把我和她哥哥撮合在一起
Naomi thought it would be a great idea
是个不错的主意 因为我谁都不认识
to set me up with her brother, because I didn't know anybody.
但是后来 杰克放我鸽子
Only, Jack stood me up!
不 我没有 我没有放你鸽子
Woop, no. I did not! I did not stand you up.
我打了个电♥话♥说取消了 这跟放鸽子有很大区别
I called and cancelled. There's a very big difference.
不管怎么说 你都放鸽子了
Either way, you flaked! So how do I know
所以我怎么知道如果我给你搞了个网站
I'm not gonna put all this work into a website
什么都准备好了 结果你又不来机场？
and you just won't show up at the airport?
如果我在办公室的话
You know, if I was at the office,
这问题很容易就可以解决
this would be a quick fix.
你什么意思？
What do you mean?
很简单
Easy.
我要写一份合同
I'd write a contract.