尴尬时刻

I love that jacket. Where are you going tonight?
今晚我有很重要的计划
I have a pretty big night ahead of me.
我要假扮成富翁冯·费灵顿先生
I'm playing the incredibly wealthy Mr. Von Ferrington.
不错嘛
That's so awesome!
都开始玩角色扮演了 真用心啊
You're role playing. You're committing.
-那可不 你呢 今晚干嘛 -跟切尔西一起
-Exactly. What are you doing? -I'm going to meet up with Chelsea
看看能碰上什么事
and see what we can make happen.
又是她
Again?
她怎么总给你做红娘
Why is she always hooking you up with girls?
你看到镜子里的我了吗 看到了吗
Have you looked in the mirror? Have you looked at me?
我特么这么帅 给我搭红线是最容易的
I'm the most attractive. So it's the easiest.
-拜托了 -没错 就是这么回事
-Come on. -Yeah! That's why.
兄弟 高中时候每次投票 我都被推选为最美双眼
Guys, in high school, I was voted most likely to have the best eyes.
放屁吧你
That's just not true.
那绝对
Yeah, right.
你个白♥痴♥
You idiot.
你们知道杰姆斯·哈珀曾经住在这里吗
Do you know that James Harper lived here?
-真的吗 -他曾是纽约市长
-Really? -He used to be the mayor of New York.
您选择的是一所非常棒的房♥产 冯
You've really chosen a wonderful property to look at Mr. Von...
-费灵顿 -费灵顿
-Ferrington. -Ferrington.
-冯·费灵顿 -冯·费灵顿先生
-Von Ferrington. -Von Ferrington.
我告诉您 这是市里最棒的房♥产之一
I mean, this is one of the finest properties in the city.
-谢谢 -不客气
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
看看这镶木地板 都是内嵌的原木
Look at the parquet floors that are all inlaid and original.
还有这个
And this.
来看看这个
Let me show you this.
住在葛莱美西公园最美妙的特权
Unfettered access to the private park
就是可以不受限制地进入公园
is, of course, one of the finest things about living on Gramercy.
-不受限制吗 -不受限制
-Unfettered? -Unfettered.
接下来要给你们看的是这个 锻铁扶手
And now further, I'd like you to take a look at this wrought iron.
-这种格子框架的锻铁是独具匠心的 -是吗
-Lattice wrought iron which is the original. -Original?
还有这台非常非常非常漂亮的水晶吊灯
And we have in here a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful chandelier,
出色的水晶切割工艺
which is cut crystal.
还有天花板上这些精致的细节
You'll notice all of the detail on the ceiling.
还有这条特别的欧巴桑地毯
Now the Obasan rug is original of the period.
还有这斑驳的窗玻璃
And we have over there a stained glass window.
-我们走吧 -为什么
-Let's go. -Why?
看看这贴画的细节
Look at the detail on this poster here.
快走 快走 我待会再给你解释
Let's go, let's go, let's go! I'll explain later.
这里 厨房♥
Here, the kitchen.
快点 那老女人要追上来啦
Quick! The old woman's coming!
还在吗
Hello?
我们不会被抓住吗
Won't we get caught?
应该不会吧 我们走
I don't think so. Let's go.
你们还在吗
Hello?
费灵顿先生
Mr. Ferrington?
还在吗
Hello?
慢点走 慢点 装得正常点
Slow down. Slow down. Just walk normal.
那是什么意思
What do you mean walk...
你走起来像犯了事儿的
You're walking like a criminal.
哪有 我一直就这么走路的
What? This is how I walk.
我没有犯罪啊
I'm not a criminal.
我犯了
But I am.
快点 我们该走了
We have to go. Let's go!
喂
Hello?
喂
Hello?
你跟我说 我们得谈谈
Okay. You said we need to talk.
没人会这样说 除非是要传递坏消息 对吗
Nobody says, "We need to talk, " unless it's really bad news, right?
-没有 没有 -我奶奶有遗传的卵巢癌
-No, no, no. -And my grandmother had ovarian cancer.
不是 你没事的 没事的
No, no, no. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine!
你的检查结果一切正常
The tests they ran indicated nothing out of the ordinary.
-我的症状看起来不详 -亲爱的 你很好
-I have all the symptoms. -Baby, you're fine.
你没事的
You're fine. You're okay.
-过来 -那你是什么意思
-Come here. -What was that message then?
过来
Come here. No, no. Come here.
真对不起 我只想跟你谈谈
Okay. I am sorry. I just wanted to talk.
老天 你真是个蠢货
Oh, my God. You are such an idiot.
-你真是个傻子 -没错
-You are such an idiot. -Yes.
你 坐下可以吗
Just... Just... Just come sit down. Okay?
天啊
Oh, God.
深呼吸
Breathe. Breathe.
天啊 我以为我得绝症了
Oh, God, I thought I was dying.
你以为你得绝症了
Yeah. You thought you were dying.
对不起 我的错
That was me.
我们到底哪儿做错了
Where did we go wrong?
发生了什么
Like, what happened?
我们之间怎么会变成这样
What happened to us?
变成这样
What happened? I...
我们23岁就结婚了
I mean, we got married at 23 years old,
在那个时候 我们对眼前即将失去的
I just don't think at that point you are ready for a life
没有激♥情♥和随行的生活完全没有准备
without excitement or spontaneity.
随行
Spontaneity?
我这个人很随性啊
I mean, I'm spontaneous.
我们有将近六个月没上过床
We didn't have sex for almost six months.
Y你想要随性是吗
You want spontaneous?
-嗨 -嗨
-Hey. -Hi.
-你身体不舒服还是怎么的 -没有啊
-Are you sick or something? -No.
你都没准备外出的穿着
Those aren't going out clothes.
我可没说要出去
Well, who's going out?
我以为我们要一起出去的
I thought we were going out.
咱俩太厉害了
That was pretty badass.
被发现了我要被开除的
I can get fired for that shit.
你知道吗 小的时候我很爱去公园
You know, when I was a kid, I used to love going to parks.
我爷爷每周日都会带我去
And my grandfather used to take me every Sunday.
但我的前男友讨厌公园
But my ex hated parks.
他总说公园这场所太公共了
He thought they were like too public or something.
他真是个混♥蛋♥
He sounds like a real dick.
谁 我前男友吗
What? My ex?
你爷爷
Your grandfather.
你们两个怎么分手了
So what happened between the two of you?
我毕业搬来纽约
Well, I graduated from school and I moved to New York.
而他在芝加哥找到了工作
And he took a job in Chicago.
差不多是那种先忙工作感情无所谓的情况
And it was sort of like a focus-on-your-work-life-first sort of thing.
我们这一代被叫做自私的一代
They call us the selfish generation.
那你呢
What about you?
有没有人让你动过心
Who's the one that got you?
你怎么敢认为我还能有 恋爱的能力
How dare you assume that I have any emotional capacity whatsoever?
-快从我的公园滚出 -不要
-Get out of my park. -No.
-滚出 -不要嘛
-Get out. -No.
没关系 你可以再回来的
It's okay. You can come back.
该死的
Damn it!
我不想这么快的
I was so not gonna do that.
我想就先这样顶住
I was gonna hold out.
我本来准备让你等上个40多天
I was gonna make you wait, like, 40 days or something.
我也想让你等的
I was gonna make you wait, too,
不过之后我才想到 我是男的 不可能哦
but then I realized, "I'm a dude."
大家好 我是弗莱德
Hey, guys. It's Fred.
上帝啊 弗莱德 你就跟埃尔维斯一样
Jesus! Fred, you're like Reverse Elvis, you know.
弗莱德 都知道你来了
Fred, you entered the building.
我喜欢埃尔维斯
I love Elvis.
"太感谢了"
"Thank you, very much."
有什么事吗 弗莱德
What's up, Fred?
西蒙出版社的艾莉把《马特峰》那本书封送来了
Well, Ellie from Simon just sent over the Matterhorn book cover.
她想让我们两个做
And she wants us to do it?
特别要求的
Specifically.
-特别要求 -特别要求的
-Specifically? -Specifically.
让我也拍一下
I'll get in on that.
好吧
Right.
拜托
Come on.
-谢谢 弗莱德 -好
-Thanks, Fred. -Yeah.
-好了 -大家努力啊