尴尬时刻

I came to apologize. I did.
-你只是想要我帮忙 -米奇
-You came because you needed my help. -Mikey.
我 一直在想着你
I just... I've been thinking about you.
之前发生的事是个误会
It really was just a simple misunderstanding.
是啊 我自己想过了 如果我连这点幽默感都没有
Yeah, it was like, "What kind of girl would I be
我算是个什么样的人啊
"if I didn't eventually find it funny?"
那你就跟其他姑娘一样咯
You'd be probably every other girl in the world. I think.
真的很抱歉
I'm really sorry.
我跟其他人不一样
But I'm not every other girl in the world.
对
No.
我觉得你也不一样
I guess you're not.
然后我就发展出自己的生活方式咯
And then I kind of developed my own style, I guess.
那现在你
And now you...
主要是设计书封
Design book covers.
也干些别的
Amongst other things.
那你一定能很容易让人相信
Well, I guess you get people to believe in something enough
让人想买♥♥你设计的封面的书
to want to buy it.
我做的就是让人相信表面
I get people to believe in the surface.
正好就是小时候父母教育我不要去做的
To do the one thing your parents told you not to do.
以貌取人
To judge a book by its cover.
确实
Exactly.
-难道我们不该这么做吗 -当然不应该
-We weren't supposed to do that. -You weren't supposed to do that.
看吧 还有人鼓励我
See? I was encouraged.
父母教育真是太失败了
Another example of just plain awful parenting.
那你现在这个工作
But, like, the job that you have right now,
是你真正想要做的吗
like, is it something that you actually want to be doing?
知道吗 有时候挺有意思的
You know what? it can be fun.
但是我想不想做呢
But do I love it?
-不想吧 -不想
-You don't. -No.
难道你不想找个你热爱的工作吗
Don't you want to love something?
什么 你热爱你的工作吗
What? Do you love what you do?
我现在在做一个系列演讲计划
I started this new lecture series.
请作者们来做关于他们作品的演讲
And authors can come along and they can talk about their work.
-这很不错啊 -是 挺好的
-That's awesome. -Yes. So great.
-有人去吗 -没有
-And people come? -No.
-没人去 -没有
-No? -No.
但是我
But I...
没什么的 我想 如果我一直这样坚持下去的话
It's okay. I mean, I figure that if I keep doing It,
这也许会是个了不起的成就
it could be a really, really amazing thing.
如果你有空的话可以来听听啊
You should come along to one of them if you're around.
我不知道
I don't know.
我又不知道这事对你有多重要
I can't really tell if it's important to you.
对不起 刚才那笑声太诡异了
I'm sorry. That's a weird laugh.
这是这座城市里我最喜欢的地方
This is my favorite place in the city.
挺漂亮的
Yeah. It's beautiful.
我知道我总把一切看得过于浪漫
I know that I'm romanticizing the idea,
但是 你看啊
but come on.
我一直都梦想能拿到葛莱美西公园的钥匙
That's kind of my dream. To have the key to Gramercy Park.
纽约的魅力就是你周围 都是你得不到的东西
New York's charm is you're surrounded by things you can't have.
纽约的魅力是它让你觉得你可以拥有它们
New York's charm is it makes you think you can have them.
在我们买♥♥下这里之前 我很想到里面去看看
You know, I'd love to look inside before we buy.
我也是
Me, too.
同时呢 我们可以回我家去
In the meantime, we can go back to my place.
跟这儿差不多
It's very similar, actually.
不过基本上还是很不一样的
Except for everything about it.
我得回家了
I gotta get home.
好吧 那就去你家吧
Okay. Yours, it is.
你真会讨价还价
You're one hell of a negotiator.
你真会讲话
This kind of stuff just rolls off your tongue doesn't it?
只是想让你开心嘛
I'm just trying to make you laugh.
我们进展得也太顺利了
I don't like how well it's working.
妈的
Fuck...
等等 你们两个还没让米奇上♥床♥啊
Wait, so you guys still haven't gotten Mikey laid?
-没有 -你们怎么了
-No. -What's wrong with you?
你这个红娘当的最糟糕了
You're like the worst wingman ever.
你开玩笑嘛 切尔西 我做红娘很拿手的
Are you kidding me, Chelsea? I'm an incredible wingman.
但是 什么进展都没有啊
I know, but, like, nothing?
他那个人太事儿了
It's just harder than you think with him.
口♥活♥也不行吗
Like, what about a blowjob?
我不用 不过谢谢你了 或者 十分钟以后
I'm good right now, but thank you. Maybe in, like, 10 minutes?
喝完这瓶
Maybe after this beer?
不好意思 等我在脑子里列出个
Sorry, I'm just making a mental list
我要在做口♥活♥之前要做的事的清单
of all the things I'd like to do before giving you a blowjob.
真的
Wow. Really?
自杀是第一件事
Kill myself is number one.
真的 上帝 第二件是什么
Are you serious? Jesus. What's number two?
在关塔那摩等待候审
Just, like, awaiting trial in Guantanamo.
-是吗 -是的
-Yup. -Yeah.
拜托了 大哥 布鲁斯 你♥他♥妈♥在搞我
Come on, man. The blues? Are you fucking serious?
这么帅的大哥 有什么需要难过的
What the fuck does Captain Attractive have to be so sad about?
我不知道
I don't know.
我觉得他就是想走这个路线 忧郁 阴暗 神秘
I think he's going for brooding and dark, mysterious.
我喜欢这样的
It's kind of working for me.
-就喜欢这样的 -对
-That is working? -Yes.
他长得那么好 还会弹琴 这根本不可能
You cannot be that attractive and have a skill. That's bullshit.
怎么不可能 我还会弹琴呢
Well, I'm gonna play, so you're wrong.
有人要沦陷啦
Then somebody's in trouble.
高兴点 混♥蛋♥ 你就要被她迷上啦
Cheer up, asshole. You're the guy.
过来了
Buckle up.
打扰一下 我只想跟你说 你刚才弹得很棒
Hey, excuse me? I just wanted to tell you great job.
听得我都快哭了
I almost cried right there.
太有力量了
It was really some powerful stuff.
很忧郁 黑暗 又很神秘
Yeah. it was brooding, dark, and mysterious, apparently.
-是的 -谢谢 我要的就是这种效果
-Yeah. -Thanks. That's what I was going for.
我早说了嘛
Told you.
这是我的朋友切尔西
This is my friend, Chelsea.
长得可能一般吧 但是你一定得 听听她弹钢琴
She's not much to look at, but wait till you hear her play the piano.
-她超棒的 -好啊 我叫迭戈
-Really good. -I can't wait. I'm Diego.
我知道
I know you are.
我警告你哦 她有时候挺暴♥力♥的
I warn you, though. She can be really aggressive sometimes.
是吗
Is that right?
但是灌她两杯龙舌兰酒 说说好话 她就服帖了
But you can tame her with tequila and compliments.
-是啊 -那
-Yeah. -So...
-超暴♥力♥哦 -是吗
-Super aggressive. -Yeah?
-你在家吗 -我在医院呢 你在哪儿
-Hey, are you home? -No. I'm at the hospital. Where are you?
我正往回家走
I'm headed back.
好吧
All right. So?
约会怎么样
How was it?
超棒 兄弟 她真是超棒
It was amazing, man. She was amazing.
她跟你回家了吗
So is she coming back to the house or what?
没有
Not exactly.
-你好 -这都过了半夜了 你认真的
-Hey. -After midnight? Really?
我睡不着
I couldn't sleep.
见到你真好
It's good to see you.
你跟那个钢琴男怎么样了 罗德里戈
So what happened with you and the piano man? Rodrigo?
-迭戈 -迭戈
-Diego? -Diego.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不想跟一个长得比我好看的男人约会 明白吗
I don't want to date a guy that's prettier than me. You know?
是的 我也不想啊
Yeah. Me neither.
此外 他还健身
Plus, he works out.
我不喜欢健身的男人
I don't want a man that works out.
我只在2004年健过一次身
Yeah. I worked out once. 2004.
举起了15磅的哑铃
Got on the 15 dumbbells.
我就想 这样太简单了 然后我决定试试30磅的
I was like, "Those are way too light, let me go to the 30s."
-挺行啊 -你来感受下
-Nice. -And if you feel it...
不要 我不想摸
Don't. I don't wanna touch it.
然后我做了做腿部练习
And then I hit the hammies.
-你再来感受下 -你行话还说的一道一道的
-Some quads. And if you feel that. -You definitely got the lingo down.
-看到了没有 -没有
-Do you see that? -No.
-那好吧 -都是脂肪
-Well... -Fat.
健身嘛 就是这样的