尴尬时刻

Dude. Go big. Do it like the movies.
对 像电影里一样
Like the movies. Yeah.
-就像《甜心先生》 -我喜欢那电影
-Like Jerry Maguire. -I love that movie.
-我也喜欢 -好电影
-I love that movie, man! -So good.
-"你跟我说你好的时候我就沦陷了" -啥
-"You had me at hello." -What?
-别那么说 好吗 -对不起
-Don't ever do that again. Okay? -Sorry.
跟她说说你喜欢她什么地方
But tell me what you love about her, man!
-你喜欢她什么地方 -我喜欢她笑起来的样子
-What do you love about her? -I love the way she laughs.
我喜欢她假笑的样子 因为她知道我喜欢她笑
I like the way she fake laughs when she knows that I need it.
-很好 -我喜欢我们上♥床♥的时候
-Yes. -I love the way we fit together in bed.
我们一样高 所以我们上起来很舒服
Because we're the same height, our crotches line up perfectly.
太好了
That's really good.
我太喜欢这一点了
I love that about it!
我知道 这几率得有多少啊
I mean, what are the chances, right?
我喜欢她早晨醒来的样子
I love the way that she looks in the morning.
就是她睁开眼睛的那一刻
Like at that exact moment when she wakes up,
她的眼皮像蝴蝶翅膀一样张开
and her eyes just open like two little butterflies.
-小小的 -我喜欢这个
-Two little... -I love that!
我也许喜欢
I love that!
-就说嘛 -不过我不会告诉她这个的
-Yeah, man. -But I wouldn't go there.
-好吧 是有点过了 -对
-Yeah, I wouldn't do that. -Okay.
-快去告诉她吧 -我要去了
-So run and tell her that. -I'm gonna go.
不要搞成《恋恋笔记本》那样 但是一定要去告诉她
Don't go all Notebook with it. But run and tell her that.
-我要去了 -快去
-I'm doing it. -Do it.
-我要去了 -快去
-I'm doing it. -Do it, man.
-我现在就要去了 -去吧
-I'm going. -Let's do it.
-我要去了 -你已经去了
-I'm gonna do it! -Man, you're doing it!
糟糕
Oh, shit!
天啊
Oh, my God!
-哥们 -快报♥警♥啊
-Dude? -Someone call 911!
你已经尿了四袋了 你一定脱水了
You took, like, four bags of fluid. You were severely dehydrated.
有点教养好吗
You need to be housebroken.
你做了些什么啊
I mean, what the hell were you doing?
我在跑
I was running.
干嘛要跑
Why?
我
Because I...
很抱歉
I'm sorry.
真的真的很抱歉 我是要跑着去告诉你我很抱歉
I'm really, really sorry. I was running to tell you that I'm sorry.
我应该告诉他们两个 我们在约会
And I should have told these guys that we were dating.
一开始我就跟他这么说嘛
From the beginning, I told him that.
我们一直在说服他
We tried to convince him the whole time.
切尔西 我要跟你约会
I want to date you, Chels.
真正的约会
Like... Like, really date you.
我也想跟你约会
I want that, too.
你真傻
You're such an idiot.
我走了
I'm out.
我一直在想你会不会打电♥话♥来
I was wondering if you'd call.
所以呢
So?
我想跟你见个面
I'd love to see you.
不过这也过了太久了吧
No, seriously, that took forever.
我也想再见到你
I'd love to see you again.
我就是这意思嘛
That's what I'm talking about.
不过说真的 谁约人会等这么久啊
Honestly? Who waits that long?
是我的错
Yeah, that was my fault.
该死的红帽子男
Fucking guy in the red hat.
你♥他♥妈♥的是谁呢
Who the fuck are you?
让我来找找你的照片
Let's find more pictures of you.
就是你了
Bingo.
我要把你查清楚
Let's fucking look you up.
比尔
Bill.
威廉·麦特森 餐馆老板吗
What? William Matherson, restaurateur.
真是个垃圾啊
What a piece of shit this guy is.
照片真恶心
Oh, my God. Dude.
说真的 我现在觉得你们两人这种
I mean, honestly, I just find it disgusting.
享受单身的生活非常恶心
The way that you guys embrace the single life.
找女人 寻欢作乐
The women? The carousing?
寻欢作乐 你谁啊 加里格兰特吗
Carousing? Who are you? Cary Grant?
你自己才谈了两分钟的恋爱
You've been in a relationship all of two minutes.
就正义感爆棚了哦
And he is already a righteous asshole.
反正我现在恋爱了
Guys, look, I'm just in love and shit.
才意识到你们两个有多恶心
And I've had a lot of time to sit and realize how disgusting both of you are.
-尤其是你 杰森 -我呢
-Mostly you, Jason. -What about me?
你也够恶心的
You're the worst. You're pretty disgusting, too.
-够恶心的 -我就知道
-You're gross. -I'm a killer.
你搞什 你是不是
What the... Did you...
-你是不是在艾莉的脸书上给她发搞笑视频了 -没有
-Did you post a funny video on Ellie's wall? -No.
你发了 我现在正看着呢 杰森
Yes, you did, because I'm looking at it right now, Jason!
等下 只是搞笑的视频 还是搞笑又萌的视频
What is it, funny cute? Or is it just funny?
搞笑又萌的 杰森 你真是娘爆了
It is funny cute! Jason, you pussy!
你给她发萌视频
You funny cute videoed her?
我 是吧 我不知道 我不知道自己干了啥
I... Yes. I guess. I don't freaking know... I don't know what I'm doing, man.
我觉得你爱上她了
Hey, man. I think he loves her.
-我觉得这就是爱啊 -绝对是爱
-I think that's love! -It sounds like love to me.
-我不知道 -什么叫你不知道
-I don't know, man. -What do you mean, you don't know?
我不知道 也许是吧
I don't know. Maybe I do.
-快去告诉她啊 -必须告诉她
-Well, then you have to tell her. -You have to.
-肯定有趣又萌 -或许我是该告诉她
-It'll be funny cute. -Maybe I should tell her.
正好应了你的口味 你就喜欢萌的
Which is right up your alley. You love that shit.
不好笑啊 混♥蛋♥
Asshole.
我不知道去哪里
I don't even know where to...
她现在干什么呢 我们一起去找她
What's she doing? Let's stop by her place. Where's she at right now?
每个月的第三个周二 她有一场读书会
Third Tuesday of the month. She's at one of her readings.
你有点像跟踪狂了
That... That was some stalker shit.
太变♥态♥了吧
That's creepy.
对她的行踪一清二楚
It's creepy that you know that.
-她的读书会有人去吗 -没有人去
-I mean, does anybody go? -No! Nobody ever goes.
-从来都没人去 -没人
-Nobody ever shows up? -Nobody.
好吧 这次你就要做
Well, then, you are going to be the guy
去她读书会的那个人
who shows up.
我们缓慢前行 父亲的手搭在车轮上
"We pounded along, my father's hand on top of the wheel."
你不是说从来没人来吗
Nobody ever shows up.
确实是的
Yeah.
蝙蝠从眼前划过 冲向天空
"I watched the bats crackle and plunge against the sky.
他们不知道这是哪儿
"They never knew here.
他们只知道目的地
"They only knew the echo of there."
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢 雷·弗洛森
Thank you, Ray Floreson.
我得做点什么
I have to do something.
大家有问题吗
Does anybody have any questions?
-我该怎么办 -随便做点什么
-What should I do? -Something.
我也想分享一下
Yeah. I have something that I would like to read.
我的小说
From my novel.
这里不是随便分享自己作品的地方
It's not really the kind of place where you can share from your own work.
谢谢你 站在这里很荣幸
Thank you very much. Honor to be here.
你念的很不错
This is good.
跟在你后面我压力很大啊
Tough act to follow.
不要在意
Then don't.
我是你的书迷
I'm a big fan of your work.
真抱歉
I'm so sorry. I...
没关系 请读吧
No. Please.
接下来 那人要请她喝酒
And then the other guy asked to buy her a drink,
这时杰森正好走上来
right as Jason walked up.
于是她问那人
And so she asked that guy,
"如果我喜欢你给我的酒呢
"What happens if I enjoy the drink?
"接下来会发生什么"
"What happens then?"
那人假装他对答案一无所知 于是她就告诉了他
And he pretended not to know the answer. So she told him.
她说 她会跟他的朋友在这间糟糕的酒吧里
She asked if they would play beer pong
玩啤酒杯乒乓球
in that shitty bar with his friends
然后跟他回到在莫里山的住所
until they headed back to his place in Murray Hill.
她还说 他们睡觉的时候
She asked if they'd have to listen to his roommate
得听着他的两个室友