尴尬时刻

fuck Hilary or Emily, or whatever her name was
跟希拉里还是艾米丽之类的姑娘上♥床♥的声音
till they fell asleep.
一年后 他们还是会在同样的酒吧
And she asked him if a year later, they'd still be there in that bar.
唯一不同的是 那时候他多了一份对婚姻和做父亲的恐惧
The only difference being that now he feels pressure to get married
因为他知道她想要结婚和孩子
and have kids, because he thinks that that's what she wants.
夏天的时候
And then in the summers,
他们会开车到糟糕的汉普顿
they would drive up to the shitty Hamptons.
去跟他糟糕的父母度假
To meet his shitty parents.
在整条路上都会担心他的父母会不会 认为她不够漂亮
Wondering the entire ride if they'd think that she was pretty enough.
还有聪明
Smart.
在整条路上都会担心他的父母会不会 认为她不够漂亮
Wondering the entire ride if they think she's smart enough.
没人能达到她的标准
Because no one was.
永远没人
And no one ever will be.
杰森现在明白了
And Jason knew that now.
他愿意放弃一切 回到当初的那个瞬间
And he would give anything to go back to that moment.
他们相见的那个瞬间 在一切都还没出错之前
The moment where they first met. Before anything went wrong.
在她最需要的时候他却没出现之前
Before he didn't show up for her when she needed him most.
在他明白爱情就是在彼此最艰难的时候
Before he understood that being there for somebody
去陪伴对方之前
when it's most difficult is really all that relationships are.
杰森现在明白了
Jason knew that now.
他对自己之前做的一切感到非常抱歉
And he was so sorry for what he had done.
但是杰森也意识到 之前自己不怕
But Jason also realized that in that moment,
因为他觉得
he wasn't afraid, because he
她不是自己的唯一
thought she wasn't the one.
而现在他非常怕失去她
He was absolutely terrified,
因为他知道 她就是自己的唯一
because he knew she was.
他希望她能够再给他一次机会
And if she could give him just one more chance,
就一次
just one more chance,
她知道去哪儿找他
she knew where to find him.
现在是二月中旬的某个凌晨 两点十八分
It's 2:18 in the morning in the middle of February.
我已经在公园长凳上坐了将近四个小时
I've been sitting on a park bench for almost four hours.
我他妈的快要冻死了
I'm fucking freezing.
我♥干♥嘛要坐在这里
Why am I sitting here?
坐在这条长凳上
Why am I still sitting on this bench?
那么
So?
后面有花絮
我不知道你还会变色哦
I didn't know you could change colors!
别说了行嘛
Just stop.
你的鸡鸡好像一只悲伤的长颈鹿
Your dick looks like a sad giraffe.
-你的鸡鸡好像剃了毛的火腿 -够了
-Your dick looks like a shaved hamster. -Stop.
你们能别说了吗
Can you guys 8100'?
你的鸡鸡好像我的鸡鸡
Your dick looks like my dick
如果你的鸡鸡再大点再黑点就更像了
if it were bigger and blacker.
停
Cut!
你在脸书上粉了那姑娘吗 米奇
Did you friend that girl yet, Mikey?
对啊 我告诉《时尚》杂♥志♥的那个助理
Yeah. I told that assistant at Vogue
我不能跟她出去因为我还要拉屎呢
I couldn't hang out with her 'cause I was taking a shit.
看看我胳膊上这块吓人的淤青
Whoa. Look at that fucking crazy bruise on my arm.
看到了吗
You see that bruise?
这可是演技的结晶啊
It's from fucking acting, bro.
对咯
Yeah.
把你整了吧
Fuck you up.
等下 我把这镜毁了 我们再拍一次好吗
Wait, I'm fucking this up. Can we just do this one more time?
走了
Let it go.
那是因为你是假尿 没拿出真鸡鸡来
It's 'cause you're holding your imaginary dick the whole time.
可能就是因为这个吧 我能真尿吗
That might be it. Can I just whip it out?
迈克 我们都知道你一向都是两手并用的
Mike, we all know you're a two-hander. So just, you know...
该死 他太了解我
Oh, shit. He knows me.
那不是我真的乳♥头♥ 不是我的 是假的
That's not a nipple. That's not my... That's a fake.
贴纸而已 我没有长那样的乳♥头♥
That's a sticker. I don't have nipples like that.
也许我是有史以来最好的口♥活♥接受者 有史以来
So maybe I'm the best ever receiving blowjob... Ever.
妈的
At receiving. Fucking mother sucker.
也许我是最好的有史以来的口♥活♥接受
So maybe I'm the best ever at receiving blow...
-这句台词里根本没有"有史以来"这个词 -真的吗
-There are no "evers" in the whole thing. -What?
你们能不能把词儿写在她脑门上啊
Can we just write it on her fucking head?
也许我是最好的有史以来
Maybe I'm the best ever.
不对 没有"有史以来"
No. No "ever."
她可能给过我有史以来 在口♥活♥史上最好的口♥活♥
Probably gave me the best blowjob ever, in the recorded history of blowjobs.
应该是"她给了我大概是口♥活♥史上最好的口♥活♥"
"And she gave me perhaps the best blowjob in recorded history."
没有"有史以来"
There's no "ever."
你干嘛呢
What are you doing?
什么也没干啊
I ain't doing nothing.
你在干吗啊
Yes, you are.
我真的什么也没干 我保证 我只是演得很开心而已
I promise. I'm acting satisfied. Okay? Jeez.
上帝啊
Oh, God.
"打炮吗"
"Doing the thing"?
对啊 我很怀念这一切
Yeah, I miss that.
如果跟切尔西约会我就做不到这一切了
And I'm not gonna be able to do that if I'm with Chelsea.
我会很怀念跟你分享同一次口♥活♥的
I'm gonna miss, like, sharing a mouth with you.
我非常怀念啊
I miss that so much, man.
那边有狗仔啊
There's the paparazzi!
不可能啊
No way!
天啊 他们都不看迈尔斯的
Oh, my God! They're not even pointed at Miles!
混♥蛋♥
Asshole!
老兄 没人关心我哟
Nobody cares about me, bro!
我可能是喝多了
I might be really fucked up.
不过我觉得《火线》里的奥马尔正坐在我们的沙发上呢
But I think Omar from The Wire is sitting on our couch.
真的是他诶
It's him! It's him!
太棒了
Yes!