诺贝尔赎金（2007）

法国大文豪米歇尔.德.蒙田曾经说过
The french essayist, michel de montaigne, once said...
我认为吃活人比吃死人
"i think there is more barbarity in eating a man alive...
更加野蛮
Than in eating him dead."
至理名言
The wisdom of it.
当你还是个不谙世事的孩子时
When you're a kid with an open soul...
大人们告诉你世界是由坏人和好人构成
They tell you the world consists of good guys and bad guys.
我一直喜欢坏人
I always liked the bad guys.
我喜欢疤面人胜过超人
Scarface over superman.
对摩尼教♥徒♥的我来说
The psychology of depravity was far more
堕落的哲学比起仁义道德
Compelling to my manichaean imagination...
更加能激起我的兴趣
Than a portrait of benevolence.
其实 善恶并非那么泾渭分明
The truth is, good and bad are not so absolute.
就我来说
As for me...
我送人一个拇指表达其实是仁慈
There are times I'd give a thumb for a little benevolence.
三周前
Three weeks earlier.
你给了我个"d" 我从没有得过"d"
You gave me a "d." I don't get d's.
你的作业只能够得"d" 我也是那么给分的
When you do "d" work, you get a "d."
我们正在做♥爱♥ 伊莱
We're fucking, eli.
-什么 你和我做♥爱♥是为了得到个好成绩 -当然不是
- what, you're fucking me for a good grade? - no.
我给你们留道题目
So I leave you with a question.
一个加利福尼亚奶农谋杀了三个年轻女孩
A northern california dairy farmer murders three young girls...
在她们的尸体上留有性侵犯的痕迹
Performs sexual acts with their dead bodies...
然后吃掉了她们大腿上的一部分肉
And then eats portions of their fleshy thighs.
你们认为这个奶农疯了吗
Is the dairy farmer crazy?
见鬼 当然
Fuck, yeah.
给你你们一点提示 这个问题
Let me give you a hint. this is not a question...
没有例如"是" "否"或者"见鬼 当然"这样的确切答案
That can be answered with a "yes" or a "no" or a "fuck, yeah."
空的 空的 空的
Empty. empty. empty.
你今天有买♥♥过一杯咖啡吗
Did you even buy a cup of coffee today?
出于好奇心 你拿这个破杯子
Just out of curiosity, how many days old...
来我们这儿蹭牛奶喝 有多久了
Is that raggedy cup you keep filling with our free milk?
-三天了 -所以我要没收你的杯子
- hmm. three. - so I'm gonna have to confiscate your cup.
别
No
巴克利·迈克尔逊 人文社会学博士生
Barkley Michaelson PhD.Candidate in Anthropology
这感觉太爽了
I'm enjoying this... so much.
伊莱·迈克尔逊博士 化学教授
Eli Michaelson,Phd. Professor of Chemistry
周一把作业交到我桌上 要至少三页
Three pages on my desk by monday.
谢谢各位
Thank you all.
莎拉·迈克尔逊 医学博士 刑事精神分♥析♥专家
Sarah Michaelson,MD Forensic Psychiatrist
你等等 如果你下次再迟到
Just a second, you. next time you're late for this class...
我会把你带出去 扭断你的大拇指
You're gonna trip on your way out and break your shooting thumb.
你懂了吗
You get me?
马♥克♥思♥·马瑞尔 侦探
Max Mariner Detctive
这个冷漠的世界 就是为了让你的灵魂堕落
this world is cold, designed to corrupt your soul
这至始至终不会改变
and it will never change
这个冷漠的世界 就是为了让你的灵魂堕落
this world is cold, designed to corrupt your soul
这至始至终不会改变
and it will never change
这个冷漠的世界 就是为了让你的灵魂堕落
this world is cold, designed to corrupt your soul
这至始至终不会改变
and it will never change
这个冷漠的世界 就是为了让你的灵魂堕落
this world is cold, designed to corrupt your soul
这至始至终不会改变
and it will never change
撒迪厄斯·詹姆斯 自学成才者
Thaddeus James Autodidact
我正处于人生的低谷 简直是地狱一般
Right now I am stuck in a deep life rut here. it's a grave-like trench.
你也看到了 我正在做我的博士论文
You see, I'm trying to finish my ph. d. thesis...
每周只有父亲给的$35零用钱 你明白吗
And get by on a $35-a-week allowance from my father, okay?
我最多只能花$4.40买♥♥...
So as much as I would love to spend the $4.40 on a...
一杯摩卡咖啡和一根法式面包
Mocha spin and a seeded baguette...
我时常会想起塞缪尔·约翰逊的诗句
I am constantly reminded of the words of samuel johnson-
为什么给"你的挚爱"一个"d"
Why would you give your own lover a "d"?
柏斯·查普曼 研究生
Beth Chapman Grad Student
柏斯 我非常失望
Beth, I am disappointed
你居然期望我会特殊照顾你
that you would expect preferential treatment.
胡扯 伊莱 胡扯
It's bullshit, eli. it's bullshit.
你这是故意的
You're punishing me. you are.
你故意给我"d"好让我和你上♥床♥
You're punishing me for sleeping with you.
"这里记载着学者们的生活中的遭遇
"there mark what ills the scholar's life assail-
辛劳 嫉妒 贫困 赞助人和牢狱"
Toil, envy, want, the patron and the jail."
-你好 请说 -办公室来了个电♥话♥
- hello. speaking. - the office got a call.
好像你的丈夫获得了诺贝尔奖
Seems as though your husband won the nobel prize.
那会让他更加自大的
Well, that should cement his ego.
不是每天都有人赢得保龄球奖杯的
Hey, it's not every day somebody wins the bowling trophy...
更别提诺贝尔奖了
Let alone the nobel prize.
巴克利·迈克尔逊 你父亲刚打电♥话♥过来
Barkley michaelson, your father called.
他说他获得了诺贝尔奖
He has just won the nobel prize.
真♥他♥妈♥的走运
Lucky fucking son of a bitch.
祝贺你
Congratulations.
祝贺你 迈克尔逊博士 你真棒
Congratulations, dr. michaelson. you rock.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you. thank you.
如果这件屋子里还有人♥质♥疑我超凡的智力
If anyone in this room ever doubted my intellectual superiority...
或者质疑能够当我的学生是多么幸运
Or your great fortune to be under my incomparable tutelage...
那么现在可以吻我的屁♥股♥了
You can now formally kiss my fine white ass.
-祝贺你 伊莱 -恭喜你 伊莱
- congratulations, eli. - congratulations, eli.
干得好
Good job.
伊莱 我觉得这证明了诺贝尔奖不是什么大众流行奖
Well, eli, I guess this proves the nobel is not a popularity contest.
这是一件好事 西蒙
And a good thing, simon...
如果诺贝尔奖是大众奖的话 你也可以去参选了
'cause if it were, you might actually have a shot at winning.
-你看上去真棒 -谢谢
- you look great. - thank you.
这领带没问题吧
Is this tie all right?
是不是有人忘记告诉老爸这只是半正式场合
Did someone forget to tell dad that this was a semi-formal affair?
他知道的
He knew.
这么穿是为了显示他很特殊
Anything to crystallize his advantage, huh?
吃的东西在哪里
where's the chow?
我们每个人都为你感到自豪 伊莱
Everyone's very proud of you, eli.
我得了诺贝尔奖这真是一件美事
Well, it's a damn good thing I won the nobel...
因为现在你会发现想解雇我是很困难的
Because now you're gonna find it hard as hell to fire me.
我从没有威胁要解雇你 伊莱
Oh, I never threatened to fire you, eli.
我是一个科学家 哈维
I'm a scientist, harvey,
根据我对周围的观察表明
And the empirical evidence I'm looking at around here...
这里没有人喜欢我
Tells me no one loves me anymore.
我喜欢你
I loved you.
伊莱 听着 我也是个科学家
Eli. look, I'm a scientist too...
根据我的观察到的证据
And my empirical observations tell me...
早在我要解雇你之前就有人在诋毁你
That someone's gonna shoot you long before I have to fire you.
有人说你和小女生 我什么都没看见
Young lady- I'm closing my eyes.
你真的认为那个化学系的追星小丫头
Do you really think that little nymph of a chemistry groupie...
和我那个顽固又专♥制♥的老爸有一腿?
Is having an affair with my ancient, tyrannical dad?
-老妈 -不 等等
- mom. - no. wait.
很高兴你能来 柏斯 我喜欢你这件衣服
Nice of you to come, beth. love the outfit.
离期末考试还有两周
Final exams are in two weeks.
如果考试没得"a" 我就把关于
If I don't get an "a," I'm gonna tell the whole world...
我和你的那些丑事抖出去
About my scandalous affair with you.
不幸的是
Unfortunately,
这将是第一次诺贝尔奖得主牵涉性丑闻
It won't be the first nobel prize winner with a sex scandal.
对 对 不过考虑到卡尔顿· 格瑟特博士和他的密西西比男孩们
Yes, yes. dr. carleton gajdusek and his micronesian boys.
我认为他们才是第一个性丑闻事件
I think he was in another league- sexually, that is.
我可是认真的
I'm so totally serious.
不就是个"a"嘛 你得到了
An "a" it is. you earned it.
我喜欢你这样 柏斯
I like you like this, beth.
你是多么淘气
You look naughty.
当我从斯德哥尔摩回来
What I wouldn't do to tear the clothes...
我何尝不想立刻撕破你的衣服
Right off your gorgeous little body right this very second.
欣赏你娇小柔美的身躯 但现在 你得离开这里
When I get back from stockholm. now, go on. get out of here.
她担心期末考试前两周
She feels like I'm abandoning the class
我会缺课
two weeks before their final exam.
因为那两周我正在做去斯德哥尔摩前的准备工作
Which I am in effect doing by going to stockholm.
看到吗 西蒙 至少我的学生喜欢我
You see, simon? at least my students are fond of me.
谢谢各位今晚出席 你们有人出于自愿
I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight. some of you willingly.
有人出于被迫
Some of you in spite of yourselves.
但无论怎样 明天我就要去接受我的诺贝尔奖
Tomorrow I'm off to claim my nobel prize.
我的妻子 莎拉 会和我同行
Joining me will be my wife, sarah...