大人物拿破仑（2004）

Now, I want you to kick me. Come on. Kick me.
好吧，再来一次
Okay, do it again.
再来一次
Do it again.
好吧，你每次都能打退敌人
- Ouch. - Okay. You'll block it every time.
请坐
Have a seat.
除了刚刚你们看到的
Now, in addition to what you just saw...
如果你们参加八週课程
if you study with my eight-week program...
你们可以学会这些事
you're gonna learn these things.
首先…
First off...
雷斯拳道，我们用的是搭档系统
Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system.
不再一个人面对困境
No more flyin'solo.
你随时都需要有人保护你
You need somebody watching your back at all times!
第二，你们将能学会建立形象
Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image.
你们觉得我今天能有这样的成就，因为我打扮得跟彼得潘一样吗？
Do you think I got where I am today because I dress like Peter Pan here?
看看我穿的衣服
Take a look at what I'm wearing, people.
你们觉得当我穿得跟坏人一样…
Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face...
会有人敢动我的寒毛吗？想都不要想
while I'm wearin' these bad boys? Forget about it.
最后，我的学生将学会自重
Last off, my students will learn about self-respect.
你觉得有人会认为我是废物
Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure...
因为我每晚都回到史塔拉的怀抱中？
because I go home to Starla at night?
算了吧
Forget about it.!
只要三百块，现在就能报名…
Now, for only $300, you can sign up right now...
参加我的八週课程
for my eight-week program.
那个地方根本就是骗人的
Well, that place was a rip-off.
嗨，莱尔
Hey, Lyle.
没有一样东西能用
Nothin' on here works smooth.
有人说爱像大河
能淹没柔软的芦苇
有人说爱像利刃
能让你的灵魂流血
有人说爱是一种饥渴
无止境的痛苦需求
我说爱像花朵
而你…
我觉得最棒的健身方法是水中韵律操
妳可以练上半身
我跟你现在是朋友了吧？
So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right?
是的
Yes.
- 你会保护我吗？ - 什么？
- So, you got my back and everything? - What?
没关係
Never mind.
- 你知道舞会的事吗？ - 知道
- Have you heard about the dance? - Yes.
- 你有女伴了吗？ - 还没有
- Have you met anyone to ask yet? - No.
但或许放学后我会採取行动
But I probably will after school.
你要约谁？
Who you gonna ask?
那边那个女孩
That girl over there.
- 她有一次帮我绑头髮 - 桑玛威特利？
- She braided my hair one time... - Summer Wheatly?
你打算怎么做？
How the heck are you gonna do that?
帮她烤蛋糕
Build her a cake or something.
对，我在俄克拉荷马州的女朋友
Yeah, my old girlfriend from Oklahoma...
本来要飞到这裡参加舞会
was gonna fly out here for the dance...
但她办不到，因为她要去走秀
but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now.
她很性感吗？
Is she hot?
你自己看看吧
See for yourself.
有一年她过生日
Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots...
我带她去购物中心拍写♥真♥
for her birthday one year.
- 我喜欢她的浏海 - 我也是
- I like her bangs. - Me too.
你留多久才留出鬍子来？
How long did it take you to grow that mustache?
几天吧
A couple of days.
真希望我也有鬍子
I wish I could grow one.
你要吃点心吗？
Are you gonna eat your Tots?
- 不 - 能给我吃吗？
- No. - Can I have 'em?
你看到那个女孩了吗？
You see that girl over there?
有一天她到我家来
She came over to my house the other day.
- 为什么？ - 我不知道
- Why? - I don't know...
但她把东西掉在我家走廊上
but she left all this crap on my porch.
她满漂亮的
She's pretty good-looking.
你要跟我赌我敢不敢跟她说话吗？
Do you dare me to go talk to her?
好吧
Sure.
我看到妳在喝脱脂牛奶，那是因为妳觉得妳很胖吗？
I see you're drinking one-percent. Is that 'cause you think you're fat?
因为妳不胖，妳大可以喝全脂牛奶
'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
我把妳的东西放在置物柜裡
Well, I have all your equipment in my locker.
或许妳该把它拿回去
You should probably come get it...
因为我没办法把双节棍放进去
'cause I can't fit my nunchakus in there anymore.
你的置物柜在哪裡？
Where's your locker?
我能要一个钥匙圈吗？
Hey, can I have one of your key chains?
嘿
Hello?
拿破崙，给我一些点心
Napoleon, give me some of your Tots.
- 不，要吃自己去拿 - 快给我点心
- No, go find your own. - Come on. Give me some of your Tots.
不，我饿坏了，今天我什么都没吃
No. I'm freakin' starved. I didn't get to eat anything today.
真噁心
Gross.
大笨蛋
Freakin' idiot!
（拿破崙，别忘了喂蒂娜
爱你的奶奶）
蒂娜，快来吃火腿
Tina, come get some ham.
你在这裡做什么？瑞可叔叔
What are you doing here, Uncle Rico?
奶奶今天在沙丘摔了一跤
Your grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today,
她的尾椎骨骨折
broke her coccyx.
什么？她什么时候开始会去沙丘？
What? Since when does she go to the dunes?
看起来你不是很瞭解她
Looks like there's a lot you don't know about her.
- 奶奶什么时候回来？ - 我不知道，不确定
- So, when's Grandma coming back? - I don't know. Not sure.
你不必留下来陪我们，我们不是小宝宝
You don't have to stay here with us. We're not babies.
去跟卡若琳阿姨说吧
Talk to your Auntie Caroline.
奇普已经32岁了
Well, Kip is, like, 32 years old.
我不介意你留下来
I don't mind if you stay.
谢谢你，奇普
Oh. Thanks, Kip.
奶奶去沙丘做什么？
What the flip was Grandma doin'at the sand dunes?
她跟男朋友约会
She was on a date... with her boyfriend.
男朋友？
Boyfriend?
你们要看我的录影带吗？
Hey, you guys want to see my video?
- 你们觉得如何？ - 我想它很酷
- So, what do you think? - It's pretty cool, I guess.
天啊，真希望我能回到过去
Oh. Man, I wish I could go back in time.
我可以参加州比赛
I'd take state.
那是我看过最糟糕的录影带
This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
拿破崙，没有人知道它的存在
Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
你知道吗？拿破崙，你可以走了
You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
你们很白♥痴♥耶
You guys are retarded.
你看看
Hey, check that out.
你跟谭咪还在一起吗？
So, you and Tammy still together?
我们分手了
No. Not really.
- 为什么？ - 嗯…
- Why is that? - Well...
她很善妒
she's jealous.
她说我还活在1982年
Says I'm livin' too much in '82.
我甩了她
Well, I dumped her.
你的女朋友呢？
What about your girlfriend?
我们现在很认真
Well, things are gettin' pretty serious right now.
我是说我们每天会上网聊两小时
I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day...
我想我们可以说是很认真
so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
我现在只想赚钱
I'm just really tryin'to raise a few bucks right now...
带她出来玩几天
so I can bring her around for a few days.
是啊，她长什么样子
Yep. Well, what's she look like?
她有沙金色的头髮
She's, uh... She's got sandy blonde hair.
她长得很漂亮
She's, uh, pretty-look... pretty good-looking face, but...
但我真的想更进一步
I'm just gettin' really... just kinda T.O.'d...
因为她还没寄全身照给我
because, I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.
你知道的…
Hey, you know...
我有个小计划
I got a little project...
或许我们能赚点钱
that we might be able to make a little moola with.
真的吗？
Really?
那真的是太棒了
That sounds pretty good.
你有听说过尼龙聚合物吗？
Have you ever heard of nylon polymer?
去吧
Go for it.
（培多罗爱桑玛）
82年时我可以把猪皮丢到四分之一哩远处
Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
- 你是认真的吗？ - 我非常认真
- Are you serious? - I'm dead serious.
看着吧
Watch this.
- 你在做什么？ - 我真的好伟大喔
- What the heck are you doing? - That's what I'm talkin' about.
我得走了
I better go.