T实验（2019）

等等 等等 现在别动
Hold on, hold on, now hold it.
你只是个小家伙
You are just a little fella.
记住 我已经拍了你并且
Know that I've got you now and forever
会永远保存在我的云盘里面
up in my cloud.
嘿 把你自己盖起来
Hey, cover yourself up.
谢谢
Thank you.
这简直乱七八糟
None of this is right.
看起来不对 感觉起来也不对
It don't look right, and it don't feel right.
不 不 你是对的
No, no, you're right.
这完全是一个混乱的局面
This is a completely fucked-up situation.
但是弗兰克和我处理得很好了
But Frank and I were handling it.
你把这叫做处理？
You call this handling it?
这些白人男孩躺在我泳池底部？
These white boys laying on the bottom of my pool?
他老二还在外面
My man over here with his dick out.
看起来就像他在为即将到来的
Look like he's sunbathing for an up
裸体节目做日光浴准备呢
and coming nudist event.
听 从我房♥间里传出来的噪音
Listen, what the fuck is this noise
是什么情况？
comin' from my house?
我就说我听到了一些东西
Told you I heard something.
嘿 闭上你的嘴
Hey, shut the fuck up.
没人跟你讲话
No one's talkin' to you.
那是谁 发生了什么？
Who is that, what's going on?
你们这些蠢猪不会收尾是吧？
You motherfuckers don't know how to end shit, do you?
你们完事儿不会收拾
You got closing skill issues.
哦 天呐 我觉得我知道那什么意思
Oh God, I think I know what that means.
呃 你觉得那是什么意思？
Uh, what do you think that means?
你要杀了我们 不是吗？
You're gonna kill us, aren't you?
笑死爷了
That's hilarious.
这个同性恋种族歧视
The fag's a racist.
去你的
Fuck you!
你刚才说什么？
What did you just say?
对 不 不 在你来之前
Yeah, no, no, before you got here,
地上那个小菜鸟
the fruit roll-up there,
他在那儿说黑人的事儿
he was talkin' about black dudes
说他们是如何拿杀人来取乐
and how they like to kill people for fun.
不 什么 我没说过
No, what, no I wasn't.
对 对 他还叫你们黑那啥的
Yeah, yeah, he was using the Nig word and everything.
对
Yeah.
我不站队 但他确实说过
I'm not takin' sides here, but he was.
见鬼 闭上你的嘴
Bullshit, shut the fuck up.
闭上你的嘴 小老二
Shut the fuck up, Tiny Dick.
不 不 不
Yeah, no, no, no.
所有这些 所有这些都是这个菜鸟的
All of this, all of this is the fruit roll-up's
报复计划 你知道吗
some sort of revenge scheme, you know,
报复那两个男的
against the two jocks.
还说是什么鬼实验
That and some sort of a fucked-up experiment.
实验？
Experiment?
对 实验 一个同性恋实验
Yeah, experiment, a fag experiment.
他们其中之一就是死基佬
And one of 'em's a fag.
看他 检查一下
Look at him, check the boner.
他硬了 哇
He gets, wha!
我们这儿有深柜？
We got a closet homo on our hands?
闭上你肮脏的臭嘴
Shut your filthy, fuckin' mouth.
我们在这不再用这个鄙视同性恋的词
We don't use the fag word around here any more.
好的
Okay.
深柜在哪里？
Where's the closet homo?
我只是紧张了
I'm just nervous.
去你的紧张
Fuck you, Nervous.
你就是个深柜 你♥他♥妈♥就是个同性恋
You're a latent homosexual, you're fucking gay.
他说的对
He's right.
你喜欢老二 你假装不是
You love dicks, and you lie about it.
哦 好极了 布拉德 啊 啊 啊--
Oh, yes Brad, ah, ah, ah, ah--
好 好了 好了 够了 够了
Okay, yeah, yeah, enough, enough!
这个人怎么回事 他吸毒了还是干了其他什么的吗？
What's with this one, is he on drugs or something?
多动症药片
Adderall.
垃圾白人毒品
Fuckin' white boy drugs.
好了 你们这些混♥蛋♥用老子的地盘
All right, y'all motherfuckers done fucked up
搞这些乱七八糟的事情 你们完了
by choosing my crib to do whatever it is the fuck y'all doin' here.
是的
Yup.
见鬼 这贱♥人♥的老二忙起来了
Damn, the dicks be busy up in this bitch.
天呐 你们都在玩一些什么变♥态♥的游戏
God, y'all playin some cowcocks and lesbians.
是 但是有个问题
Yeah, but there's a problem.
因为这里是我的地盘
'Cause this here is my bitch.
放屁 你不是这房♥子的主人
Bullshit, you don't own this house.
很快就是了 听过非法占地者的权利吗？
About to, ever heard of squatter's rights?
听过 并且 呃 是移居开♥发♥对吗？
Yeah, and um, what's that genification?
听着 你们这群堕落的混♥蛋♥
Listen, y'all depraved motherfuckers
正在亵渎我的地盘[击鼓板]
are currently desecrating my drum pad.
鼓室 鼓室是什么？
Drum room, what is this, what is the drum room?
跟他解释一下
Explain it to him.
我们在楼上有个鼓室
We got a drum room upstairs.
它是隔音的
It's soundproofed and everything.
真的吗？
Really?
对 我们喜欢忙活了一天之后
Yeah, we like to relax with a drum circle
用集体鼓乐来放松
after a long day of flippin', you know.
这很重要
It's important.
是的
Yeah.
呦 对讲机 对讲机
Hey, yo, Talkie, Talkie.
嘿 把那玩意儿关了 好吗？
Hey, shut the shit down, will you?
我想说的是这个
What I'm getting at is this, all right?
局面简直太混乱
As fucked up as all this is
你老二还在外面晃荡
with your dicks hangin' out,
这些中国手结
all right, these Chinese finger traps,
这对我们的大业来说算个屁
this is just a footnote and for what we're doin', all right?
只是一张大地图上的一个点
Just a tiny blip on the proverbial map.
我们要目的是改变这个社区
What we're doing is gonna change this neighborhood.
而不是一些转瞬即逝的小动作
Not just talk about for a day,
也不仅仅是为了增添什么笑料
and not just shared with a link for a quick laugh.
你们这些不重要的小贱♥人♥目光太短浅了
You small-time bitches think too small.
所以现在从我的房♥子里滚出去
So get the fuck out of my house.
那他妈是什么情况？
What the fuck was that?
她来了
Here she comes.
谁来了？
And here who comes?
你♥他♥妈♥是谁？
Who the fuck are you?
好吧 别拿我的金贝鼓
Okay, not my djembe.
听着 楼上所有的鼓中
Listen, of all the drums up there,
你就挑了我的金贝鼓？
you gotta grab my djembe?
你喜欢这个鼓 是吧？
You like this drum, do you?
这是什么变♥态♥牛仔和女同性恋集♥会♥
There's just cowcocks and lesbians.
我不是女同性恋
I'm not a lesbian.
好吧 好吧 随便了
Yeah, well, whatever.
如果你不放我弟弟走
Well, this drum's about to be
这个鼓就会被我摔得粉碎
a really difficult puzzle if you do not let my brother go.
哦 那太凶残了
Oh, that's savage.
没必要那么凶残
No need for savagery.
别 诶 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦
No, eh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
这是什么 哈？
What is this, huh?
这是在我泳池搞的什么实验？
Is this an experiment in my pool?
嘿 科学令我着迷 一直如此
Hey, science fascinates me, it always has.
那两个恐同的禽兽
These two animals have been tormenting my brother
折磨了我弟弟好几年
for years with their homophobia.
哦 哦 哦 这真♥他♥妈♥混乱
Oh, oh, oh, that's just fucked up.
我上过很多男人
I've pounded on a lot of dudes.
对 没错
Yeah, he has.
你知道 从传统意义上来说
You know, I'm not gay
我不是同性恋 好吗？
in the conventional sense, all right?
我只是太男性化
I'm just so hyper-masculine
以至于小妞都不再跟我做了
that chicks just don't do it for me anymore.
哦 我明白了 有道理
Oh, I get that, that makes sense.
不可能
That's not a thing.