滑稽人物（2009）

Funny People

Part 26 Dec. 11, 2020, 6:30 p.m.

对不起
Oh, I'm sorry.
还能上健康保险不错
I get health insurance. it's pretty good.
我回头想了想你在车上说的话
So, I thought a lot about what you said in the car to me.
有些问题你说得一针见血
A few of those things might have been accurate.
你只是想帮我可是很对不起
You tried to help me and I'm sorry
我却让你左右为难
I put you in the middle of all that stuff.
我的身体康复了
I'm better in my body.
可我的脑子还不好使
My brain has a ways to go, though.
那你最近怎样还好吧
How are you doing, though? you're doing okay?
我也不知道埃拉
I don't know, Ira.
我
I...
那晚我听完了你的整场表演埃拉真不错
I caught your whole set the other night, Ira. nice.
你混出点样子了
Yeah, yeah, no, you're getting a rhythm.
你在台上也像是生活中我欣赏的埃拉了
You're starting to be the Ira I like in real life onstage.
谢谢我最近进步了挺多
Thanks. I've been getting up a lot lately, so it's going well.
对对挺幽默的而且还是即兴演出
Yeah, you were funny, and it was a fart-free set.
我那晚后来写了一些段子
I wrote some stuff down that night that... some jokes.
你想听吗
You want to hear it?
你什么
You what?
我昨晚不停得给你编段子
I couldn't stop thinking of jokes for you last night.
真诡异
It was bizarre.
我没说这些段子一定好但我尽力了
I'm not saying they're good jokes, but I try.
你还写下来啦
You actually wrote them down!
对啊我他妈的记忆不好
Yeah, yeah, yeah. my fucking memory's horrible.
任天堂那个你怎么说来着
That thing you did about the wii fit thing. what's that?
"我的游戏机"
Oh, like, "my video game... " yeah.
"我的游戏机说我肥"
"my video game told me I'm fat?"
对对 "终极背叛"
Yeah, yeah, yeah. "the ultimate betrayal. " yeah.
对对
Right, right.
你也可以说
You could maybe say,
"我的啤酒肚笑我懒"
"I mean, that's like my pot telling me I'm lazy. "
这个真好笑
Oh, that's really funny.
"然后游戏机就像我奶奶一样"
"and the wii is similar to my grandmother.
"她老说我越长越圆"
she used to tell me I'm getting chubby
"边说还边把番茄奶酪鸡排送到我嘴边"
"and then bring me chicken parmesan and say,
"问我 '你怎么长那么肥啊'"
'why are you so fat?'"
这个真搞笑
That's really funny!
游戏机让我变肥
It's true. the video game made me fat and...
就像我奶奶一样
It is like my grandmother.
"你怎么那么肥"
"Why are you so fat?
"给你4加仑朱古力牛奶喝"
Here's four gallons of chocolate milk. "
真形象她就老是那样
That's good! She would always do that.
有个我还没敢讲的
That's good. I got one I've been afraid to tell,
关于伟哥的
Kind of, about, like, viagra. it's like,
"我爷爷吃了伟哥"
"My grandfather takes viagra
"他以为自己在和奶奶胸交"
and he thought he was tittie-fucking my grandmother... "
"最后他才发现自己胸交的
"but then he realized he was tittie-fucking
是自己的蛋蛋"
his own balls. "
这个太逗了你得讲这个
That's funny! you got to do that!
挺好笑的是把
That's pretty funny, huh?
你得说那个你老了以后
You got to say that the thing... that when you're that old
"老了后就算勃起了也找不好位置"
And you have a boner that there's not a good position.
那个好笑超好笑
That's funny! that's really...
"用狗爬式的话不但会弄伤膝盖"
You do it doggy-style, your knees hurt.
"还会弄湿它"
You get water on your knee.
-"我根本都进不去" -对对
- I can't even hold myself up in... " - Exactly.
"人老了还能干嘛呢"
"what would an old man do?"
再来个恶搞的吧
Let's do another bad one then
因为我喜欢血从大卫脸上冒出来的样子
'cause I like it when the blood drains from david's face.