神秘博士60周年特别篇：咯咯笑声（2023）

Poisoning the world.
憎恨着彼此 你们从不需要任何帮助就能做到这点
And hating each other, you've never needed any help with that!
但现在 有人在利用你们最恶劣的特质
But today, something else is using your worst attributes.
玩弄你们
Playing with you.
就像玩具一样
Like toys.
我们能摧毁那颗卫星吗?
Can we take that satellite out?
所有的导弹都被封锁了 但我们还有电流光束
All missiles are on lockdown, but we've got the Galvanic Beam.
-射程呢? -足以瞄准月球上的碎石
-What range? -We can pick off a pebble on the moon.
问题是 击毁韩国的卫星
Trouble is, taking out a South Korean satellite
会产生国际影响
will have international consequences,
所以我们还在等待准许
so we've been waiting for permission.
只是全球所有的领袖都受到了笑声影响
All world leaders are being affected by the Giggle.
你有我的准许
You have my permission.
谢谢你 博士
Thank you, Doctor.
黄金协议最高权限覆盖
Gold Protocol override.
所有人员 开始电流光束炮启动
All staff, initiate Galvanic activation.
将光束炮带上来
Bring up the beam.
启动平台
Platform in motion.
雪莉 我们有洛吉·贝尔德播出信♥号♥♥的确切日期吗?
Shirley, have we got the exact date that Logie Baird made that transmission?
我来查
I'll find it.
直升机停机坪全部清空
All clear on the helipad.
我给科卫输入了假坐标 它会进入英国的卫星轨道
I fed the KOSAT fake coordinates, so it's coming into UK orbit.
-三分钟后就会在射程内 -你太棒了
-Within range in three minutes. -You're brilliant.
你好
Hello.
嗨
Hi.
平台已载入
Platform loaded.
你看起来真不错 但怎么会...?
You look so well. But how?
简单来说 我在星际间旅行
Well, quick version, I travelled the stars.
老好人萨巴隆·格里茨 他活到了101岁
Good old Sabalom Glitz, he lived till he was 101.
-哇 -被威士忌酒瓶绊倒而摔死
-Whoa. -Died falling over a whisky bottle.
-喔 -一种完美的离世方式
-Oh. -It's a perfect way to go.
他办了个盛大的维京式葬礼 而我心想:「是时候回家了」
He had this great big Viking funeral, and I thought, "Time to go home."
所以我搭了辛戈的便车 回到了地球
So I got a lift off of a zingo and came back to Earth.
-「辛戈」是什么? -是搭便车的东西
-What's a zingo? -It's a thing you get a lift off.
但之后我必须面对我一直在逃避的一件事
But then I had to face up to the one thing I'd been running away from.
我一无所有
I've got nothing.
我的家人都不在了 记得吗?
My family are all gone. Remember?
但是凯特给了我工作 然后我就在这了
But then Kate offered me a job, and here I am.
电流光束装载中
Galvanic Beam payload boarding.
平台锁定于55楼
Platform locking at level 55.
你刚才发现是音律的表现很好
That was very good work with the music.
如果我们这次平安度过 你应该考虑加入♥联♥合单位
If we survive this, you should think about joining UNIT.
-每年工资多少? -六万英镑
-How much per year? -60,000.
-十二万加上五周的假期 -成交
-120 plus five weeks' holiday. -Done.
电流光束就位 科卫90秒后进入射程
Galvanic Beam in position. KOSAT in range in 90 seconds.
博士 傻瓜比尔播出于1925年10月2日
Doctor, Stooky Bill was televised the 2nd of October, 1925
地址是苏活区弗里斯街22号♥ 邮政编码W1D4RF
at 22 Frith Street, Soho, W1D 4RF.
准备好就发射 不用等我 塔迪斯呢?
Fire when ready. Don't wait for me. TARDIS?
在17号♥单位
Suite 17.
好
Okay.
你别想丢下我自己去
You're not going without me.
苏活区 1925年
Soho, 1925.
所以 梅尔?
So, what about Mel?
她很棒 对吧?
She's brilliant, isn't she?
对 但我只是在想 这么久以来 你从没提到过她
Yeah, but I just keep thinking, all this time, you've never mentioned her.
多娜 我都十亿岁老了
Donna, I'm a billion years old.
如果我们站在那里谈论所有我遇到过的人
If I stood and talked about everyone I'd ever met,
我们现在还会站在塔迪斯里面讲话
we'd still be in the TARDIS, yapping.
所以你从不提起任何人?
So you talk about no one, ever?
你就只是继续往前
You just keep charging on.
对 因为我很忙 就像现在
Yes, because I'm busy. Like now.
但你每一天的每一秒都在忙
But you are busy every second of every day.
看看我们现在 我们根本没停下来过
I mean, look at us now. We haven't stopped.
我看到你了 博士 我得以一瞥你的思想
I saw you, Doctor. I got a glimpse inside your mind.
而你就像是在蹒跚前行 踉踉跄跄地往前走
And it's like you're staggering. You are staggering along.
或许这就是你过去的面孔又回来的原因 你把自己累坏了
Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out.
傻瓜比尔可能在弗里斯街
Stooky Bill might be on Frith Street,
但问题是 傻瓜比尔是从哪里来的?
but the question is, where did Stooky Bill come from?
球是第一项被发明的游戏
Die ball is die first game ever being invented.
一个石器时代的人 捡起了一块石头 他说:「哦! 这是一个球」
Stone Age man, he picked up ein rock. He said, "Oh! das ist ein ball."
他把它扔出去 杀死了一个人
He throwed it, und he killed a man.
他说:「哦 真好玩」
He said, "Oh, what fun!"
现在 所有人都爱玩球
Und now, everybody loves the balls.
一直到第五十亿年
Until the year five billion.
当最后一个人类捡起他敌人的头骨
When the very last human picks up the skull of his enemy
然后说:「这是最后一颗球了」是吧?
und said, "That is the final ball of all." Ja?
够了
Enough.
啊 多娜·诺布尔
Ah. Donna Noble.
我想知道你们谁更有胆识[拿着球]
I wondered which one of you had the balls.
好 所以你知道我的名字
Okay. So you know my name?
-你们怎么认识的? -多娜 回到塔迪斯里去
-How do you two know each other? -Donna, go back to the TARDIS.
-什么? -回到塔迪斯里去
-What? -Go back to the TARDIS.
-你从来没有叫我这么做过 -喔 但是他认出我来了
-You never tell me to do that. -Oh, but he is recognising me.
你不开心吗? 博士先生
Are you not "ge-pleased", Herr Doctor,
这么多年后再次见到我
to see me again after so many years?
他是谁?
Who is he?
玩具匠
The Toymaker.
我们又见面了 博士
We meet again, Doctor.
但想想看 如果球是史上第一个游戏 那第二个是什么?
But think, if the ball was the very first game, what was the second?
捉迷藏!
Hide-and-seek!
不... 不 你回去
No, no, no, no, no, no. Go back.
这里比玩具店要大
It's bigger than the shop.
别告诉我他也有自己的塔迪斯
Don't tell me he's got his own TARDIS.
塔迪斯是玩具匠根本不会稀罕的概念
The TARDIS is an idea the Toymaker would throw away.
我们进入了他的地盘 这里的一切由游戏规则支配
We've stepped inside his domain, and it's governed by the rules of play.
好 继续前进
Okay. Keep going forward.
但这没有道理啊 我跟你一起见过那么多事
But how does this even make sense? 'Cause I've seen some things with you.
我见过喔德人 戴沃斯
I've seen Ood, Davros.
甚至还有灵脂宝宝
I mean, the Adipose, for God's sake.
但他们都是有某种逻辑的
But they had a sort of logic.
戴立克造了个巨大的炸♥弹♥ 这我也能理解
Daleks built a great big bomb. I understood that.
但这个...这根本不可能 这是怎么存在的?
But this--This is impossible. How does it exist?
这就是让我犯难的地方 所有我坚守的逻辑规则 都不存在了
That's what unravels me. All the laws I cling to, gone.
玩具匠是谁?
Who is the Toymaker?
他是什么人?
What is he?
当我年轻时 我对自己过于自信
When I was young, I was so sure of myself.
犯下了很严重的错误
I made a terrible mistake.
我让塔迪斯掉进了另一层领域
I let the TARDIS fall into another realm,
宇宙之下的空洞
a hollow beneath the Under Universe,
在那里科学是游戏 我们都是玩具
where science is a game and all of us are toys.
但你逃出来了
But you escaped.
我打败了玩具匠 我赢了他的游戏 但他现在来到了这里
I beat the Toymaker. I won his game, but now he's here.
他找到进入现实的路了
He's found his way into reality.
而我想这都是因为我
And I think it's all because of me.
因为我就一定要自作聪明 对吧?
'Cause I got clever, didn't I?
我在宇宙的边缘撒了盐
I cast that salt at the edge of the universe.
我玩了一场游戏并让他进来了
I played a game and let him in,
有着神一般力量的自然存在
an elemental force with the power of a god,
他用一个人偶让全人类发了疯
and he's driven the human race mad with a puppet.
是 但你总是说...
Yeah, but you always say--
哦 我说什么 我会说什么?
Oh, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say?
因为我总是那么肯定
Because I'm always so certain.
音速起子 塔迪斯和时间领主 把这些都去掉后
I'm all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord. Take that away.
把这些玩具都拿走后
Take away the toys.
我是谁? 我还剩下什么?
What am I? What am I now?
我不知道 这次我还能否拯救你的性命
I don't know if I can save your life this time.
这不是关于我的
It's not about me.
就是关于你的
Oh, yes, it is.
那...
Well--
或许我会拯救你呢
Maybe I'll save you.
你这个大傻瓜