神秘博士60周年特别篇：咯咯笑声（2023）

（1925年 苏活区）
（玩具先生商店）
（玩具 游戏 魔术 桌游）
啊 日安 日安 请进来温暖的店里
Ah! Guten Tag, guten Tag! Kommen into the warm.
现在在下雨对吧 水溅得到处都是
It is "ge-raining". Is it not? All of the water all splishy-splashy.
好了 有什么是我能帮助你的吗
Now, what can I helpen Sie mit?
你看 我们什么都有 任何你想要的东西
Behold, we have everything, everything you could be "ge-wanting".
我们有玩偶 有着粉红脸庞的漂亮玩偶 没错
We have dolls. Such beautiful, pink-face Dollen, ja.
我们有各式各样的游戏
We have the compendium of games.
有骰子 蛇 梯子还有那些游戏规则
Mit die dice und the snaken und ladders und the rules.
规则是非常重要的 你不觉得吗?
They are very, very important, these rules. Don't you think?
我们还有泰迪熊和马头棒
Also, we have die teddy bears und die hobby Horsen.
谁不想骑着小木马在街上哒哒逛呢 是吧?
Who does not want a hobby Horsen to go clippety-clop down the Straße, ja?
不用了
No.
我其实只想要这个
I just want this really.
啊 傻瓜比尔 这是我的最爱
Ah, Stooky Bill, Meine Favoriten.
但你会拆散他们一家
But you will leave the family all alone.
可怜的傻瓜苏和傻瓜宝宝们
Poor Stooky Sue and the poor Stooky babbies.
你会让他们失去爸爸
You would leave them without papa.
孤儿寡母都会哭泣的
The widow and the orphans will be "ge-crying".
不 只要...只要他 谢谢
Um. No. Just--Just him. Thank you.
这是真的头发吗?
Is that real hair?
是啊 我亲手把头发接上去的
Ja, ja. I was "ge-sticking" on the hair mein self.
从一位美丽的女士头上剪下来的
I cut it off the head of a beautiful lady.
她不会想念这些头发的
She will not miss it.
不过 她也不会再想念任何事物了
But then, she will never miss anything ever again.
这个多少钱?
Uh, and-and how much is that?
六便士
Sixpence.
我必须为这雨天向你道歉 你应该更习惯多晴的气候吧
I really must apologise for the rain. You must be used to sunnier climes.
我是切尔腾纳姆人
I was born in Cheltenham.
你的口音好像没了
Your accent seems to have slipped.
希望孩子们会喜欢他
I hope the kiddies enjoy him.
这不是要给孩子的 是给我老板的
It's not for children. It's for my employer.
你可能听说过他的名字 他就住在街角
You may have heard of him. He only lives around the corner.
约翰·洛吉·贝尔德先生
Mr John Logie Baird.
哦 那位发明家 太棒了
Oh, the inventor man. Wunderbar.
他现在在发明什么?
What is he being inventing now?
说来复杂
Well, it's complicated.
是个新东西 叫做电视
It's a new thing called television.
看来我们在玩个好游戏
Well, what a game we are playing.
一个很棒、很棒的游戏
What a wonderful, wonderful game.
可怜的小傻瓜 这名字来自苏格兰语
Poor wee Stooky. That's a Scottish word.
你知道这个词的意思吗?
Do you know what stooky means?
它的原意是灰泥 也就是石膏
It comes from stucco, as in plaster.
但现在用来描述笨蛋或迟缓 就像比利男孩是个白♥痴♥
But it's come to mean stupid and slow, like Billy boy's an idiot.
但他可没那么傻 他即将要创造历史
But he can't be that daft. He's about to make history.
准备好了吗?
Ready now?
应该好了
I think so.
祝我们好运
May God go with us.
我成功了 查理 我成功了
I did it, Charlie. I did it!
史上第一个电视影像
The very first television picture!
那里面有多热? 我们应该不会引起火灾吧?
How hot is it in there? We're not gonna catch fire, are we?
所以我们才需要傻瓜比尔
That's why we need Stooky Bill.
没人能坐在那么高的温度下
No man could sit underneath that temperature.
问题是 别人可能会觉得这是照片
Problem is, could be a photograph.
如果我要证明电视真的可用 我需要移♥动♥的影像
If I am to prove television works, I'll need a moving image.
-我被吓到了 -我也是
-I got quite shocked. -Me too.
想象一下如果他会说话的话
Imagine if he could talk.
那小家伙就要改变这个世界了
That wee chap's about to change the world.
想想他会说些什么呢
Imagine what he would say.
《神秘博士》
《窃笑声》
（现今）
（末日将至）
不好意思 你能告诉我你要做什么吗?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Excuse me. Can you tell me, what are you doing?
我不会开车
I can't drive.
好的 所以?
Okay, so--Which means?
我有缴税
I pay my taxes.
所以这条路是我付钱建的
Which means I paid for this road.
这路是我的 我想做什么都行
It is mine, and I will do with it what I like.
-你会害死自己的 -这是我的生命 不是你的
-You'll get yourself killed. -It's my life, not yours.
但你大可以安安全全地站在那里
But you could just stand over there and be safe.
你怪他们吧
Blame them.
因为一切都从两天前开始改变了
Because it all changed two days ago.
每个人都开始觉得自己一直都是对的
Everyone started thinking they're right, all the time.
而且不愿意改变想法
And they won't change their mind.
如果你试着跟他们争论 他们就会生气
If you try to argue, they go mad.
而我就不是这样 我一直都是对的
Well, not me. I've always been right.
不好意思 先生 我太失礼了
Excusez-moi, monsieur. Je suis terrible.
但或许你愿意跟我来跳支舞
But perhaps you will dance avec moi. Ooh-la-la!
好 抱歉 谢谢
Yeah. Sorry. Thanks.
博士 注意 博士 注意
Attention, the Doctor! Attention, the Doctor!
请留在原地
Stay where you are.
你已处于联合单位的控制下 重复 是联合单位
You are under UNIT control. Repeat, UNIT control.
快...快 我们走
Go, go, go! Let's move!
看到目标 看到目标
Eyes on, eyes on!
我锁定他们了
I got them!
快 再快点
Quick! Faster!
博士 我是联合单位 第五小队的伊伯拉辛上校
Doctor, I'm Colonel Ibrahim of UNIT Squad Five.
请你跟我们来
If you could come with us.
带他到安全的地方 知道了吗? 别担心我们
Get him to safety. All right? Never mind about us.
我要你保证我外公的安全
I want my grandad safe.
-明白了吗? -是 女士 我们会确保你家人安全
-All right? You got that? -Yes, ma'am. We'll keep your family safe.
你跟博士一起去
You go with the Doctor.
（联合单位）
哦 麻烦来了
Oh. Here comes trouble.
我可以对你说同样的话
I could say the same about you.
雪莉 这不是认真的吧
Shirley, you can't be serious.
还有凯特·莱斯布里奇-斯图尔特
And Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.
我记得你父亲夜以继日地忙着将联合单位保密
I remember your father working night and day to keep UNIT secret.
看看你们现在 公开于世且自豪地捍卫着地球
Look at you now. Out and proud and defending the Earth.
我全都对付过
I fought them all.
机器人 昆虫 雪人和克隆人
Robots and insects and yetis and clones.
但这次我们该怎么办 博士? 我们要怎么对付人类?
But what do we do this time, Doctor? How do we fight the human race?
（联合单位）
-这是给你的 -好 好 现在是什么情况?
-That's for you. -Good, good, good. Now, what have we got?
这些是全球范围的吗? 因为我需要所有的统计数据
Are these worldwide? 'Cause I'm gonna need all the statistics.
不会吧
Oh, no way.
这是最棒的消息了
Oh! That is the best news!
梅兰妮 你好
Melanie, hello!
我们晚点再叙旧吧 时间不多了
We'll catch up later. We haven't got time.
我曾经跟你一样 是他的旅伴之一
I used to be like you. I was one of his companions.
-我不是第一个红头发的吗 -不 我才是
-I wasn't the first redhead? -No. That was me.
不过 别用旅伴这个词
Although, don't say companion.
听起来很像我们会把他像车子一样停在滨海韦斯顿
That sounds like we park him on the seafront at Weston-super-Mare.
这种说法失礼吗?
Is "park" rude?
擦边吧
Borderline.
各就各位 黄金协议 博士到场了 开始报告
And stations. Gold Protocols. The Doctor's in the room. Report.
两天前 全球暴♥力♥事件激增
Two days ago, an increase in violence worldwide.
所有国家都在以完全一致的速率增长
The same increase in every country and all rising at exactly the same rate.
基本上 每一个人都认为自己是对的
Basically, every single human being thinks they're right
并且不容许他人反驳
and won't be told otherwise.
从波士顿飞往希思罗的F665航♥班♥坠机事件
That plane crash, the F665, Boston to Heathrow.
是因为机长说他有权利在任何地方降落
The pilot declared his right to land wherever he wants.
我要回家了
I'm coming home.
小心了 伦敦 爸爸要回家了
Look out, London. Daddy's coming home!
-如果大家都疯了... -政♥府♥也一样
-If everyone's going mad---So is the government.
关我什么事? 说真的
What do I care? I mean, seriously?
我为什么要关心你们的死活?
Why should I care about you?
这倒是没变
No change there then.
但你们没事 你们都很正常 那是因为...
But you're fine. You're completely normal. And that's because of the--
我们称它为利德克斯
Oh, we call it the Zeedex.
是伏林克斯的发明
An invention of the Vlinx.
你好 伏林克斯 我是博士
Hello, the Vlinx. I'm the Doctor.
所以为什么它叫利德克斯?