最佳好友2（2018）

我的朋友 你今天就能知道
You will learn today, my friend,
友谊不能买♥♥卖♥♥
you cannot buy or sell friendship.
还有忠诚 也一样
Or loyalty. You cannot.
我知道你也有秘密 乔恩
I know you have secrets too, Jon.
就像你的t恤
Like your bloody t-shirt.
当我们第一次见面时 我就知道
When we first met, I knew.
但我们会讲到的 我们会讲出真♥相♥的
But we'll get to that. We'll get to the truth.
所有的真♥相♥ 乔恩
All the truth, Jon.
进来吧 坐 放松点 像自己家一样
Come on in, sit down, relax. Make yourselves at home.
冰箱里有吃的
Hey, there's food in the fridge.
我可不会当你们的保姆
I'm not gonna fuckin' babysit you.
你们就在屋里待着
You guys are gonna have to hang tight...
我去锻炼一下 午夜锻炼
while I get a little workout in. A midnight pump.
乔恩 别想太多了
Get that look out of your eye, Jon.
你不适合
Not for you.
里克叔叔
So, Uncle Rick,
你能帮我们打开保险箱吗?
do you think you can open the safe for us?
他丢了钥匙
'Cause he lost the key,
我们得打开保险箱
and we really need to get in.
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么搞的？
How the hell'd you fuck that up?
你知道 她不会容忍♥那种事的
You know, she's not gonna put up with that shit.
哦 他只是有点二 我的小乖乖
Oh, he's just a little unorganized sometimes, my little bo-bo.
很抱歉给您添麻烦了 先生
Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
叫我里克
It's Rick.
话说回来 你的保险箱里有什么东西？
What the hell's in your safe, anyway?
让我猜猜 缎子胸罩和内♥裤♥ 是吧？
Let me guess: satin bra and panties, huh?
不是 我想去科罗拉多州立大学
No, I'm trying to get into Colorado State
我把我把我的转学单留在里面了
and I left my, uh... I left my transfer records in there,
橄榄球周刊 斯丹顿继续统治
周一我有个重要会议 所以我希望能够打开
I got a big meeting, actually, on Monday, so I'm hoping to get in...
为了什么？
For what?
我准备读... 烘焙科学
Uh, I'm trying to study... um, bakery science.
烘焙科学
Bakery science.
天哪 我 我以前从来没听过还有这门学科
Holy shit! I... I've never heard that one before.
我还以为你会说橄榄球呢
I mean, for a minute I thought you were gonna say for football.
如果是的话 我还想告诉你
In which case, I was gonna tell you you need to hit the pull-up bar
你需要多做点引体向上 伙计
just a little bit more there, pal.
除非你想成踢球员
Unless you want to be a kicker.
你知道 以前
You know, back in the day...
-什么？ -真的吗？
- What? - Really?
不要讲这个故事 别现在讲
Not the story, not right now.
-听着 -别
- Look... - Don't...
1986年 嘉年华会
1986, Fiesta Bowl.
国家电视台
National TV.
离这里大约一小时的路程 太阳魔鬼体育场
About an hour from here, Sun Devil Stadium.
离比赛结束还有10秒 球权快要到对方手上了
It's 10 seconds left, 4th and one at the goal line.
我必须得偷偷地跑一个四分卫
I, uh... I'm gonna run a quarterback sneak,
有个笨蛋 斯威策
and this dickhead, Switzer,
从侧边跳下来 一记廉价的射门把我打倒在地
jumps off sides, takes me down with a cheap shot...
把我的前交叉韧带打爆
and blows out my ACL.
我们能继续说回乔恩的事吗
Can we get back to Jon's problem here?
-好 好 对不起 -保险箱是吧？
- Yeah, yeah... I'm sorry. - About the safe?
我也许能徒手把它撕开
You know, I might be able to just rip that thing open with my bare hands.
我曾经在曼契沼泽里和一只鳄鱼摔跤
You know, I once wrestled a gator down in the Manchac swamp.
我踢了他的屁♥股♥ 或者他的尾巴 随便你说是什么
And I kicked his ass, or his tail, or whatever you want to call it,
但是我没有受伤 那不管用
but I came out without a scratch. That doesn't work,
我在后面有个满是工具的曼钦车♥库♥
I got a Manchin garage in the back here, full of tools.
早上第一件事 我就把保险箱打开
First thing in the morning, I'll crack that thing open,
你们就可以上路了 我保证
you guys will be on your way. Promise.
谢谢你 先生 对不起 我是说里克
Thank you, sir. Sorry, I mean Rick.
我很想听更多你的故事
And you know, I'd love... love to hear more of your stories,
听起来真的很有意思
they sound really... really fun.
哦 没问题 伙计 我可以讲更多
Oh, no problem there, buddy, I got you covered with those.
话说回来 我要带他去后院看看
On that note, I'm gonna show him the backyard.
去吧 别拘束
Mm... go on, guys. Make yourselves at home.
我要坐下来 喝个烂醉
I'm gonna sit back, get drunk...
应该说更醉 看个小橄榄球
well, drunker, watch a little football.
去吧
Hey, go on out, really.
喝点龙舌兰酒吧 放松
Have some tequila, chill...
拍你们的自♥拍♥照发朋友圈
You know, go take your Snapchats,
随便你们干什么
or whatever the hell you guys do.
当心响尾蛇
Watch out for the rattlers.
对了 有只美洲狮最近在跟踪我
Oh! And I got a cougar stalking me.
她住在隔壁
She lives next door.
好吧
Yeah...
但很可爱
Cute, though.
你是想让我丢人吗？
Are you trying to make me look bad?
烘焙科学？来真的？你怎么想出来的？
Bakery science? Really? Where in the hell'd that come from?
我只想找些借口 我也不知道
I just tried to come up with some shit, I don't know...
-真扯淡 -你带我们来这里就不是什么好主意
- Weird. - It was your terrible idea to come here.
真的 你叔叔 他不会上当的
Come on, your uncle, he's not gonna fall for this.
你没告诉我你叔叔是克林特·伊斯特伍德
You didn't tell me your uncle was Clint Eastwood.
乔恩 我知道你在想什么
Look, Jon, I know where your head's at.
好吗？ 这是个意外
Okay? It was an accident.
如果你和他情况互换 他也不会顾这么多的
If the roles were reversed, he wouldn't have cared.
我真希望我能再和他对质一次
I just... I just wish I'd confronted him one more time.
-他不会听的 -不 可能他会
- He wouldn't have listened. - No, maybe he would have.
等事情暴露之后
Look... by the time anything's discovered,
我们早就到科罗拉多了
okay, we're gonna be all the way in Colorado.
不会影响我们一丝一毫
It's not even gonna matter.
现在的状况真的比回头
Is this really worse...
却一无所依更糟吗？
than going back to having nothing?
他是我最好的朋友
Well, he was my best friend.
他是我唯一的朋友
I mean, he's all I had. He was my only friend.
他不是你最好的朋友 他连你朋友都不是
He was not your best friend! He wasn't even a friend!
你怎么能熟视无睹呢? 他公然欺骗你
How can you not see that? He was blatantly ripping you off.
我知道 我明白了 好吗？
I know, I know, I got it, all right?
我只是想一个人呆一会
Look, I just... I need some time alone.
不是你的问题 是我
It's not... it's not you, it's me.
你猜怎么着？我们在一个黑暗的房♥间里 乔恩
Guess what? We're in a dark room, Jon,
我们就是光明
and we are the light.
你没事吧？ 怎么了？
Are you okay? What's wrong?
我不小心杀了那一只
Yeah, I killed that one by accident.
我没有打扰你们吧？
Hey, I'm not interrupting, am I?
-没有 -好吧
- No, not at all. - Good.
我给你弄了个睡前饮料 叫它 母乳
Hey, I mixed you up a little nightcap. Call it "Mother's Milk."
给你壮壮阳
Put a little lead in your pencil.
好的
Okay.
你会睡得像个小婴儿
You'll sleep like a baby.
你最好一次喝完
It's better if you do it in one big shot.
就是这样
There you go.
睡个好觉 明早见
Well, listen, um... get some sleep. I'll see you guys in the morning.
晚安
Good night.
你度过了漫长的一天 休息一下吧
You know, you had a long day. Why don't you get some rest?
我和里克叔叔一起看会儿电视
I'm gonna go watch some TV with Uncle Rick for a little bit.
-好的 -嗯
- All right. - All right?
祝你在科罗拉多州立大学好运 乔恩
Good luck at Colorado State, Jon.
我拿了你的ATM机 给你开了个大口子
I got your ATM, cracked wide fuckin' open for you.
把你的转校文件放在厨房♥桌子上了
Got your transfer papers on the kitchen table.
你可以好好用那些钱学成一个烘焙师
You're gonna make one hell of a baker with all that dough in there.
我教了你什么? 友谊重于金钱 乔恩
What did I teach you? Friendship before money, Jon.
你永远学不会
You never learn.
我警告过你要听 他们马上就要来找上你了
I warned you to listen. They're coming after you now.
很快 世界上的每个人都会知道你做了什么
Soon, everybody in the world will know what you did.
你有感受到邪恶吗 乔恩
Do you feel evil, Jon?
感觉得到吗？
Do you?!
你把我逼疯了 乔恩
You drive me crazy, Jon!
坏人 下地狱吧
Evil man! Burn in hell!
嘿 你起来了？
Hey, you up?
我真的想让你睡个懒觉
I really wanted to let you sleep in,
里克整晚都在忙 他还是打不开保险箱