在我入睡前（2014）

Claire?
噢！天呐！婷婷！亲！真的是你吗？
Oh, my God, Chrissy,darling, is that really you?
是的，是我
Yes, it's me.
你叫我“婷婷”。。。
You call me Chrissy.
我给护理中心打了N个电♥话♥，他们没告诉你吗？
I kept ringing the care center.Did they tell you?
他们给我的是你的旧地址，我写的所有信件都被退回了
They gave me your old address and all my letters were returned.
每一天，每一分，每一秒
Every day, every single day,
我祈祷电♥话♥响起，电♥话♥的那一头是你
I've been waiting for this phone to ring, hoping it might be you.
他们。。。他们说你搬家了
They, um... They told me that you moved away.
- 搬家？
- Moved away?
- 是的
- Yes.
- 那你是怎么找到我的？
- Whatever gave you that idea?
- 额
- Um...
天呐，婷婷，我灰常灰常想念你
Oh, my God, Chrissy.I've missed you so much.
- 噢...
- Oh...
- 你还好吗？
- How are you?
额...
Um...
不好不坏，我想不起那些糟糕的事，除此之外我很好
Well, I can't remember a fucking
thing but otherwise I'm fine.
-你在哪？
-Where are you?
-嗯。。。
-Um...
在家，和本在一起
I'm at home. I'm with Ben.
我真的很想见你，可以吗？
And I really need to see you.Can I see you?
好吧。额。。。
Yeah. Um...
我其实宁愿不来见你，婷婷
I'd rather not come to you, Chris.
为啥？
Why?
电♥话♥里很难解释清楚
It's difficult to explain over a phone...
我们在天文台面基怎么样？
How about we meet at the Observatory?
嗯...
Um...
-天文台...
-The Observe...
-去格林尼治
-In Greenwich.
我一个钟头后到
I could be there in an hour.
好不好？
Will you be okay?
好，好的，不见不散
Yes, I'm fine and I'll be there.
婷婷？
Chrissy?
婷婷，亲爱的，是我，克莱尔
Chrissy, darling,it's me, Claire.
克莱尔
Claire.
天呐...
Oh...
我记得你
I remember you.
是吗？
Yeah?
嗯哼
Oh...
噢！我想你，我一直都好想你，好想你啊
I've missed you, I've missed you, I've missed you!
我记得你
I remember you.
想死你了
I've missed you so much.
瓦屋
Oh...
太美妙了
This is amazing.
我是一个好妈妈吗？
Was I a good mother?
哦，婷婷，没有人比你更爱亚当了
Oh, Chrissy. Nobody was more loved than Adam.
以前本下完班就匆匆回家去看他的宝贝儿子
Ben used to rush home from work just to see his little boy.
亚当真的好像小时候的本
Adam was so like him at that age.
即便那时也和他爸爸长得一样帅
Even then he was just as handsome as his daddy.
是谁把我变成现在这样？
Who did this to me?
有些事总是难以启齿
Things were tough.
你身兼数职一边照顾亚当
You were juggling looking after Adam
一边开始新的教学工作
and starting a new teaching job.
你和本争吵越来越多
You and Ben were arguing a lot.
我说我可以每周花两个下午来照顾亚当
I said I'd look after Adam two afternoons a week.
经过一个多月工作后，你看上去好多了，你...
After a month or so back at work,you seemed to get better, you...
甚至在穿着上都有所不同了
You even started dressing differently.
我不了解当时出了什么事
I didn't realise what it was at the time.
我见了一个人
I met someone?
我问过你
I asked you.
你起先否认，但你知道我不傻的
You denied it at first but you knew I wasn't stupid.
我们起了争执
We had an argument.
最终你告诉我真♥相♥了
Eventually, you told me the truth.
我没告诉你他的名字吗？
I didn't tell you his name?
你没和我说任何有关他的细节
You wouldn't give me any details about him.
本知道吗？
Did Ben know?
直到警♥察♥找到你他才知道
Not until the police found you.
噢，天呐
Oh, Jesus.
噢，可怜的本
Oh, poor Ben.
我不得不告诉他，婷婷
I had to tell him, Chrissy.
我已经告诉警♥察♥了，我别无选择
I'd already told the police.I had no choice.
难怪他一直对我撒谎
No wonder he keeps lying to me.
是的，这就是本
Well, that's Ben.
也许，他是在保护你
Protecting you.Maybe.
又或许他认为我们难以接受现实
Or maybe he thinks we just can't come to terms with the truth.
我是说，他一直骗我，说出了事故没说被打
I mean, he still lies to me about the attack
也没和我提你的事
and he never talks to me about you.
内什么...
Well...
他不跟你提我，是有原因的
There's a reason why he doesn't talk about me to you.
什么原因？
Why?
在那次意外之后
After your accident,
我想来帮你们
I tried to help out.
你知道对于本有多艰难，还得照顾亚当
You can imagine how hard it was for Ben looking after Adam.
我竭尽所能
I did what I could.
我们一起花了很长时间
We spent a lot of time together.
有天探望完你，他...
One day, after visiting you, he just...
他崩溃了。他说他再也受不了了
collapsed. He said he couldn't go on any more.
我...
I...
我抱住了他
I put my arms around him.
然后我们就啪啪啪了
We got carried away.
就那么一次
It only happened once.
我感觉糟透了
I felt so bad.
我们俩都感觉很差
We both felt so bad.
我觉得我对你们俩亏欠太多了
I decided I owed it to both of you to stay away
所以...我才...
so I just...
消失的
disappeared.
我万分抱歉
I'm so sorry.
但你不能责备我们，丽婷，在你出事后
Well, you can hardly blame us,Christine, after your affair.
你不知道你有多幸运
You don't know how lucky you are.
你从来不知道拥有本是多幸运的事
You have never known how lucky you are to have Ben.
- 我得走了
- I have to go.
- 哦，婷婷
- Oh, Chrissy...
- 你知道的，本就快回家了
- Ben will be home soon and...
- 别
- Please.
- 我不在家他会担心的
- He'll worry if I'm not there.
- 等一下
- Look, just wait.
就在你们分开前不久，本给了我这个
Ben sent this to me shortly before you separated.
他让我在恰当可阅的时候转交给你
He asked me to give it to you if you were ever well enough to read it.
看到你现在有所好转我很高兴
I'm so glad that you are.
我不指望你信任我，但是我在乎你，丽婷
I don't expect you to believe me but I care about you, Christine.
非常在乎
A lot.
好吧
It's all right.
“我挚爱的丽婷
"My darling Christine",
要说的话在我心口难开
"I can't bear to say the words"
我决定离开你
"but I have decided to leave you."
我已经如此努力想要找到另一种方式，丽婷
"I've tried so hard to find another way, Chris."
请相信我
"Please believe me."
你是如此爱亚当
"You loved Adam,"
即使你不能有意识地记得他
"even if you couldn't consciously remember him."
你去接他，他会跑入你的怀抱
"He would run into your arms and you would pick him up"
你马上就知道他是谁
"and for a while, you sensed who he was."
可后来你开始相信
"Then you started to believe"
亚当还是婴儿的时候就已经离开了你
"that Adam had been taken away from you when he was a baby."
每当你见到他，都觉得像是初次见面一样
"Every time you saw him, you thought it was for the first time."
我让他告诉你上一次见你是什么时候，他会说
"I'd ask him to tell you when he last saw you, and he'd say,."
“昨天，妈咪”
"Yesterday, Mummy."
可是你不相信他
"But you wouldn't believe him."
有一天你削了我，抓着亚当就往外窜
"One day you attacked me,grabbed Adam and ran."
你变得歇斯底里
"He started screaming."