在我入睡前（2014）

后天也是
And it'll be new the next day.
大后天和大大后天也是
It'll be new the next day and the next and the next, and every day.
我余生的每一天都是
Every day for the rest of my life.
- 你知道亚当的事吗？
- Did you know about Adam?
- 我们聊过亚当了
- We've spoken about Adam.
也许本是对的，也许我还是不知道的好
Maybe Ben's right. Maybe it's better I don't know.
我们就在这坐一会行么？
Can we just sit here a while?
当然行
Of course.
我应该告诉本。。。
Should I tell Ben?
我们的事吗？
About us?
我治疗你的事？
About the therapy?
我是一个好母亲吗？我是说，受伤之前
Was I a good mother?I mean, before the injury.
你是一个出色的母亲
You were a wonderful mother.
这对他来说一定很糟，对他一无所知
It must have been awful for him,me not knowing who he was.
你很爱亚当
You loved Adam very much.
我明白你为什么对我隐瞒亚当的事了，我理解你的苦衷了
I understand why you would hide this from me. I do.
面对惨痛现实的次数超过了你的承受极限
And you've probably lived through this more times than you can bear.
我明白要忍♥很久你才会说
And I understand there must be days when you say,
“我受不了。。这种日子我没法过了”
"I can't, I can't go through this again."
但是如果你在意这段婚姻，我假设你在意
But if you care about this marriage,and I have to assume you do,
就别再对我隐瞒孩子的事
never try to hide my son from me again.
对不起，我错了
I'm sorry.I'm sorry
亚当？
Adam?
麦克？
Mike.
早上好，克丽婷，我是纳什医生
Good morning, Christine.It's Dr. Nasch.
我是伦敦一所大学的神经心理学专家
I'm a neuropsychologist at University College, London,
我每天都给你打电♥话♥提醒你
and I've been calling you every morning to remind you...
去找隐藏在你衣柜后面的照相机
to look for the camera hidden in the back of your wardrobe.
你一直在做视频日志。。
You've been keeping a video diary...
准备好，稍后我会把你从家里接出来
Get ready. Then I can come and pick you up from home.
麦克
Mike.
咋了？
What?
我还不能确定，但我认为这是他的名字
I'm not sure but I think that's his name.
谁的名字？
Whose name?
那个袭击我的男人
The man who did this to me.
过来
Come here.
过来啊
Come on.
来吧，来啊，没事的
Come here, come on. It's okay.
没事的
It's okay.
你是唯一能令我感觉好些的人
You're the only one who makes me feel good.
我也希望你感觉好些
I want you to feel good.
“麦克·纳什医生”
克丽婷，对不起
Christine, I'm sorry.
克丽婷，我是纳什医生
Christine,my name is Dr. Nasch.
- 我知道
- I know.
- 你感觉怎么样了？
- How do you feel?
烦屎了
Shitty.
我只给你打了一针微量的镇静剂
I only administered a mild sedative.
让你淡定点的药，不是安♥眠♥药♥
Just something to calm you down, not put you to sleep.
- 我记起来了
- I remember.
- 你刚才入坑了
- You were confused.
医学上称这种症状叫“虚谈症”
We call it confabulation,
你的脑海里无意识地充满了虚构的往事和回忆
Your imagination filling in the gaps in your memory,
把我想象成了那个袭击你的人
turning me into the man who did this to you.
你明白吗？
Do you understand?
-我想告诉本
-I want to talk to Ben.
-达美
-No.
听我说，我有一些发现
No, I just found something out
要和你当面聊聊
and I need to talk to you about it face-to-face.
克丽婷
Christine.
是关于本的
It's about Ben.
你在跟谁打电♥话♥？
Who were you talking to?
什么时候？
When?
我之前打来的时候，电♥话♥直接转到语♥音♥信箱
When I called earlier. It went straight to voice mail.
哦，那时候我正好打给你
Oh. I was trying to call you.
我叫克丽婷，克丽婷·卢卡斯
My name is Christine.Christine Lucas.
我40岁，是一个失忆症患者
I'm 40 years old and I'm an amnesiac.
今晚，当我入睡时，我的大脑会擦除所有记忆，变成空白。。
Tonight, as I sleep,my mind will erase everything...
对他来说不是第一次了，他的悲伤早已逆流成河，我是第一次
This isn't new for him.His grief isn't new. Mine is.
你太敏感了
You're vulnerable.
敏感的病人总是会对他们的心理医生产生感情
Vulnerable patients often develop feelings for their psychiatrists.
这很正常
It's common.
现在不正常的是当这些感情得到回应时
What's less common nowadays is when those feelings are reciprocated.
我们称之为“反移情”，这是有损医德的
We call it countertransference.It's unprofessional.
完全丧失医德
Completely unprofessional.
在日志里我说你是我唯一的希望
On my video I say that you're my only hope.
我会把你介绍给圣·汤玛斯医院的一位著名精神病专家
I'm referring you to an excellent neuropsychiatrist at St. Thomas's.
我意思是我神经病有所好转
I say that we're making progress.
克丽婷，我不能再帮你看病了，否则会有悖医患伦理道德
Christine,I can't go on treating you.It wouldn't be ethical.
-求你了
-Please.
-克丽婷
-Christine.
那位专家从事于英皇学院大学部
She works out of the University Department at King's College.
- 她被称为“扁鹊再生”
- She's very good.
- 我不需要她
- I don't want her.
我需要你，你正在治好我
I want you. You're fixing me.
早上我给你打电♥话♥时
When I called you this morning,
你已经看了你的视频日记
you'd already watched your video diary.
你记起来了
You remembered.
是的，是的
Yes. Yes.
不幸的是，你在某天记的事情
Unfortunately, what you remember one day,
第二天就可能忘光了
you may not necessarily remember the next.
甚至是最重要的事情
Even the most significant things.
什么事？
What things?
本在2007年时把你从精神病院转入
Ben had you transferred from the psychiatric hospital in 2007
成人社区服务中心
to an adult community care centre.
我曾和那儿的主管见了次面
I rang the administrator the other day to arrange a visit.
她说好像是你的一个朋友，叫克莱尔，曾试图和你取得联♥系♥
It seems your friend Claire has been trying to get in touch.
这是她的号♥码
This is her number.
主管问你近况如何，我就把情况告诉了她
The administrator asked how you were and I told her.
她感到极度困惑
She became extremely confused.
肿么了？
Why?
根据她的记录
Well, according to her records,
本和你四年前就离婚了
Ben divorced you four years ago.
你好，我是克莱尔，请留言
Hi. You've reached Claire.Leave a message.
克莱尔，我是，额。。。
Claire, it's, uh...
我是克丽婷·卢卡斯
it's Christine Lucas.
额，我真的很需要和你聊聊
Um, I really need to talk to you.
你能打给我吗？我的号♥码是。。
Can you call me, please?My number is...
- 我们离婚了，是不是？
- We're divorced, aren't we?
- 谁告你的？
- Who told you?
谁告我的？没人，我记起来的
Who told me? No one.I'm remembering things.
-寺伐？
-Really?
-寺呀
-Yes.
-真的吗？
-You sure?
-是啊
-Yes.
你怎么记起来的都是这种破事儿？回家去吧
You're remembering an awful lot lately.Stay away.
马♥勒♥彼得快告诉我真♥相♥
Just tell me the fucking truth.
为什么会离婚？
Why did you divorce me?
- 为什么和我离婚？
- Why did you divorce me?
- 你想知道真♥相♥？！
- You want the truth?
- 是！
- Yes.
- 就一个字：我们的孩子！
- I'll tell you the truth!
我们的儿子
We had a little boy,
他突然病入膏肓，我们失去了他
and he got very sick, very suddenly, and we lost him.
我悲痛欲绝，所以我离开了你
I walked away.I was in bits.
现在我回来了，回到你身边
I came back and I'm here.
我要和你永远在一起，丽婷，永远
I'll never leave you, Chris.Never.
我很骚睿
I'm sorry.
喂？
Hello?
婷婷？！
Chrissy?
克莱尔？！