是，大臣（1980）

是, 大臣 第2季第6集
生活质量
The Quality of Life
他还在跟宣传秘书开会 汉弗莱爵士
He's still with the Press Officer, Sir Humphrey.
您先喝杯咖啡?
Would you like a coffee?
伯纳 如果大臣和宣传秘书在一起
If the Minister is with the Press Officer,
我们吃顿大餐也有时间
we've probably got time for a six-course lunch.
早 戴斯蒙爵士 早 汉弗莱 哦 戴斯蒙
Morning, Humphrey. Desmond!
他在开会 用不了多久的
He's got somebody with him, but he'll only be a moment.
你试过他口风了? 试了 恐怕目前希望不大
Did you sound him out about...? Yes, but it doesn't look hopeful.
为什么 我们银行只不过想
All my bank wants is to put six
在新办公楼上加盖6层而已 没问题嘛
little storeys on the new office block.
你读今早的金融时报了吗? 我从来不读
Read the Financial Times today? Never do!
你是银行家嘛 当然要读金融时报
You're a banker, surely you read the Financial Times?
看也看不懂 全是经济理论
Can't understand it. Full of economic theory.
那你买♥♥它干吗? 唉 专业形象的一部分嘛
Why do you buy it? It's part of the uniform.
我花了30年才搞懂凯恩斯理论
Took me 30 years to understand Keynes' economics.
刚摸着门 大家又去追捧新货币理论了
I'd just cottoned when everyone got hooked on monetarist ideas
你知道 米尔顿·舒曼说的"我要自♥由♥市场"
you know, "I Want To Be Free", by Milton Shulman.
米尔顿·弗里德曼? 干嘛都叫米尔顿?
Milton Friedman? Why are they all called Milton?
我就知道米尔顿·凯恩斯
I've only got as far as Milton Keynes.
梅纳德·凯恩斯?
Maynard Keynes?
肯定有个米尔顿·凯恩斯
I'm sure there's a Milton Keynes.
对对 是有一个
Yes, there is, it's...
请坐
Sit down.
你还没看过大臣昨晚
You didn't read about the Minister's speech
致建筑业协会的讲话吧?
to the Architectural Association last night,
抨击了摩天大楼群 媒体反响很好
attacking skyscraper office blocks?
我们那幢可不是摩天大楼
Ours isn't a skyscraper.
有几层来着? 38层
How many storeys? 38.
再加这6层 就是44层
44 with the extra six we're asking for.
可他说最高不许超过8层
He was talking about the maximum tolerable height being eight.
得了小汉 你肯定能劝服他吧?
Surely you can talk him out of it?
一点点往上加 8 12 18...
Work him upwards? 8, 12, 18...
你不就干这个嘛 劝他放弃政策
That's your job talking him out of things.
对 可别忘了他承诺过
Don't forget, there's a promise
限制高层建筑
to prevent any more high-rise buildings
写在他竞选宣言的环境部分
in the environment section of the manifesto.
那就没戏啦? 也不一定
Does that scupper it? Not necessarily.
你看 每位大臣的高级公务员
There's an implicit pact offered to every Minister
都会向其暗示一笔交易
by his senior officials.
如果大臣帮我们实施的政策
If the Minister implements the opposite
与他的承诺截然相反
policy to the one he's pledged to,
一旦上任 他必然发现宣言不可行
which, once in office, he will see is incorrect,
我们就帮他掩饰 假装他遵守了承诺
we'll help him to pretend he's following his manifesto.
这交易挺合理的 听上去确实合理
That's a very reasonable offer. It sounds reasonable.
不幸的是 戴斯蒙 政客们尽管有很多
Unfortunately, among the many
卓越的特质
extraordinary qualities politicians possess,
讲理却不怎么被他们看重
reasonableness isn't the first that springs to mind.
至少一般大臣都是如此
Not when one contemplates the average Minister.
而我们的大臣非常一般
And our Minister is very average.
但是我们确实需要加盖几层
But we need those extra floors.
而且如果你退休后加入董事会
And if you're joining the board when you retire,
没有办公室就麻烦了
it'll be tricky if there's no office to put you in.
在停车场上搭个活动会客室?
Entertaining your visitors in a Portakabin in the car park?
我又没说不批给你
I'm not saying you won't get permission
只是今天不行 耐心点
just not today. Be patient.
只要大臣拍个板不就完了吗?
Surely if a Minister's made a decision, that's it?
你怎能这么想? 他决定的就是决议呗
What gave you that idea? Surely a decision's a decision?
我们满意的才是决议
Only if it's the decision you want.
要不然 只是一时挫折而已
If not, it's just a temporary setback.
大臣都像小孩子 容易冲动
Ministers are like small children:
今天吵着要什么东西
They want something desperately
明天就忘得一干二净
and next day forget they asked for it.
大臣不是效忠皇冠吗? 你当这雅号♥怎么来的?
He is a Minister of the Crown. You know why he's called that?
他说话一般不过大脑
He's always talking off the top of his head...
或者说完就抛到脑后
or through the back of it!
你要反对他的决定? 不不不
You won't accept his decision? No, no, no.
我要从热烈欢迎 坚决支持开始
I start by accepting it and supporting it enthusiastically,
然后请他交给我完成
then I tell him to leave it to me.
汉弗莱 搞建筑的来了
Humphrey, the architect fellow.
早上好 克劳福 请坐 大臣还得一会儿
Morning, Crawford. The Minister won't keep a moment.
那得怎么办?
So, what's going to happen?
我先跟他谈谈
I'll have a minute with him first,
但今天上午别指望太多
but don't expect too much this morning.
就当成小孩子为米饭布丁闹腾吧
Think of it as a child's tantrum over a rice pudding.
今天碰也不碰 明天就要两份
Won't touch it today and yet wants two helpings tomorrow.
啊 米饭布丁 好啊
Ah, rice pudding... good.
其实我也满喜欢米饭布丁的
I always liked rice pudding.
大臣 这真是太棒了
Minister, it's really excellent.
"哈克大声疾呼 反对高层建筑" 是不错
"Hacker speaks out against tower blocks."
"大臣咬定摩天大楼不松口"
"Minister's courageous stand on high buildings."
难道我是蜘蛛人么
I sound like a steeplejack.
这是高端的 大众媒体呢?
What about the popular press?
坊间那些日报是怎么说我的?
How do I get into the mass circulation dailies?
有照片吗? 报纸一般爱登漂亮姑娘的照片
What about a photograph? The papers like photos of a pretty girl
这个标准 我算够不上了
I don't quite qualify on that score.
不 我是说 您可以去选美比赛当评委
Judge a beauty contest
亲吻冠军 这就上报了
a photo of you kissing the winner.
太俗了吧 再说要是登我的照片
If my picture's in the papers,
人们应该关注我 而不是美女
people should look at me, not some pretty girl.
不然跟小动物或小孩拍照也行
Otherwise, something with cuddly animals or small children,
比如今天下午访问城市农场
like this afternoon's visit to the city farm.
对对 都刊登了吗? 邮报 镜报 每日快报
Is everything laid on Mail, Mirror, Express?
还有太阳报 今日头条 晚间新闻 晚间新闻?
And the Sun, Today and Nationwide. Nationwide?
我会上电视吗? 走运的话
Will I be on telly? With any luck.
好 这还差不多 先生 您是效忠皇冠的嘛
Well done! You are a Minister of the Crown, sir.
您还得和一群小驴子合个影
There's some baby donkeys laid on to be photographed with.
驴子? 是的 先生
Donkeys? Yes, sir.
太阳报特别询问
The Sun specifically asked
您能否站在驴子中间拍照
if you could be photographed amongst the donkeys.
驴子啊 你说呢 伯纳?
What do you think, Bernard?
即使太阳报动机纯良
Even if the Sun has no ulterior motive
侦探报也会大做文章
it'll be a gift for Private Eye.
"您和其他驴子"
You with a crowd of other donkeys.
是他们会这么说 大臣 或者"核心内阁会议"
That's what they would say. Or a meeting of the Inner Cabinet.
你来干嘛 伯纳?
What are you here for, Bernard?
对 汉弗莱爵士来了 好吧
Sir Humphrey's here. Very well.
农场肯定还有小猪吧
There's also some little pigs.
我看小猪也强不到哪去
I don't think that's a great improvement. 95()
想想"猪嘴刨食"(以权谋私)的笑话 用用脑子
Snouts in the trough jokes pull yourself together!
可是大臣 我最多和羊羔拍个照 最多了
I will consent to be photographed with a lamb, that's all.
啊 汉弗莱 早上好
Ah, Humphrey. Good morning.
大臣 戴斯蒙·格雷布克爵士来了
Sir Desmond Glazebrook is outside.
格雷布克? 那个老嚷嚷反政♥府♥的笨蛋?
Glazebrook? That old fool who makes anti-Government speeches?
就是他 您任命他为
Yes, and you appointed him
工业合作主席
chairman of the co-partnership commission.
是哦 他有何贵干?
What's he want?
他找您谈一个申请
He wants to talk about his forthcoming application
给他在建的银行大厦多批几层楼
to put more storeys on his bank's office block.
当前要打击的正是这个 汉弗莱
That's just the thing we must stop, Humphrey.
得有人为环境登高一呼
Somebody has to speak out about the environment,
在摩天大楼上勇敢站出来
take a stand on high buildings.
这造型拍下来登报挺好
That would make a good press photograph.
谢谢 伯纳
Thank you, Bernard.
听您的 大臣 不过他的项目不错
It's up to you, but he does have a good case.
您读了背景资料吗?
Have you read the background papers?
当然读了 提醒我一下
Yes, of course. Remind me.
银行指出
The bank points out that
附近已经有几幢摩天大楼
there are already several tower blocks nearby,
这次是为了银行国际部
and it is the international division of the bank
迅速扩张