是，大臣（1980）

是, 大臣 第2季第2集
无功受禄
办公设施方面真的不能削减开支了?
We can't economise in accommodation?
恐怕不能 大臣
'Fraid not, Minister.
信息处理设备方面呢? 不可能 到底了
Data-processing equipment? Not possible.
成人教育预算? 很不幸 没法削减
The further education budget? Sadly, it can't be.
好吧 至少本科教育开支有所减少
At least the universities won't cost us as much,
外国学生学费抵了教育开支
with overseas students paying fees covering education costs.
除非您批准例外提案... 不 很抱歉 绝无例外
Unless you make exceptions...? No, sorry, no exceptions.
至少这方面还能省
At least, that's one saving.
大臣 已经… 哦 当然
Minister, it's... Yes, of course.
恐怕就到这里了 散会
That's all, I'm afraid. Meeting over.
多谢 谢谢
Thank you Thank you.
大臣 在汉弗莱爵士来之前
Before Sir Humphrey comes,
首相府授勋秘书要您批准部门授勋名单
Number 10 asked you to approve recommendations for the honours list.
伯纳 你问了八遍了
That's the eighth time you've asked.
难道授勋就是部里的头等大事吗?
Are honours the most serious concern of this department?
是的 榜上有名的人整天守着电♥话♥ 有的三天没合眼了
They are to the people on the list. Some haven't slept fordays.
急什么急? 大臣几时否决过文官受勋?
What are they worried about? Ministers never veto honours.
几乎没有 但理论上有可能 越拖他们越心慌
It's possible. They're worried about the delay.
他们怎么知道的? 文件上写着"绝密"
How do people know they're listed? Its marked "Strictly Confidential"
哦 大臣
Oh, Minister...
是我犯傻
Silly of me.
真希望他们能花四分之一的精力削减开支
If they'd put some of that effort into cutting expenditure...
怎么才能让人们对节约
How can I make people want economies
像对帝国勋章 大巴思勋章一样热心呢?
in the same way they want OBEs and KCBs?
我觉得... 不 不 不...
I've been thinking... No, no, no.
什么? 不 不 没事
What? No, no, nothing...
来吧 伯纳 说出来
Spit it out.
我没资格...我不提倡 也不支持 但是
It's not my place, and I couldn't possibly recommend it...
如果您不批准公务员授勋
Suppose you were to refuse to recommend any honours
除非他们削减预算5%如何?
for civil servants who hadn't cut their budgets by 5 %?
伯纳 对不起 大臣 我…
Bernard! Sorry, Minister...
不 伯纳 这太妙了
No, Bernard! It's brilliant!
好主意 公务员就这一个死穴 对吗?
It's the answer. It's the only hold we have over the civil servants.
我管不了他们加薪 或者晋升
I can't stop their pay rises or their promotions.
不写他们的工作报告 但我可以不给他们授勋
I don't even write their reports, but I can with hold their honours!
干得好 伯纳 是您自己想到的 大臣
Well done. You thought of it, Minister.
不 不 是你想出来的 不 是您想出来的
No, no, you thought of it. No, you thought of it.
求您
Please!
请少加点 谢谢
Just a touch, please. Thank you very much.
真是丰盛的晚餐 院长 我一向乐意叨扰府上
Splendid dinner. I always enjoy my visits here.
今后怕是来不了喽 汉弗莱
I'm afraid this could be your last.
怎么?我把酒传错方向了吗?
Why? Did I pass the port the wrong way?
告诉他吧 财务处长 贝利学院快破产了
Tell him, Bursar. The college's going to the wall.
多亏你们部的新政 对外国学生收全额学费
It's your new policy of charging overseas students full rates.
牛津大多数学院还能应付
Other Oxford colleges can cope,
但是贝利的外国学生向来是最多的
but we've always had many overseas students here at Baillie.
对 可是全额就全额 有什么关系
You simply charge them a full fee, no problem.
可他们付不起 四千磅一年? 没人肯来
Unless they can't pay ?,000 a year. They won't come.
我跑遍世界 甚至到美国筹款 兜售牛津教育理念
I've been all over the USA selling them the idea of an Oxford education
非洲满是英国教授
Africa is crawling with British professors
拼命要把社会学课程塞给当地人
frantically trying to flog sociology courses to the natives.
在印度和中东 也是你死我活
And India and the Middle East. Competition is cut-throat.
何不改招英国本国学生?
Why not fill up vacancies with British undergraduates?
一点都不好笑 汉弗莱
I don't think that's awfully funny, Humphrey.
我没说笑话 老伙计 怎么能招本国学生
I wasn't trying to be funny. Anything but home students!
为什么? 一名英国学生只能收500磅
Why? We only get 500 a head forthem.
400人才抵得上50个外国学生
We'd have to take 400 to replace a mere 50 foreigners.
师生比例会从1:10变成1:34
The staff/student ratio would go from 1:10 to 1:34.
教室和寝室会挤得像沃伍德监狱
We'd have classrooms, dormitories... like Wormwood Scrubs!
或者像苏塞克斯大学
Or the University of Sussex!
院长估计这些画能卖♥♥两三万磅
The Master thinks the pictures mayfetch ?030,000.
画加上银器
The pictures and silver together
刚够新教学楼的贷款利息
might just pay the mortgage interest.
天啊 天啊
Dear, oh, dear!
当然 也可以让政♥府♥对我们网开一面
Orwe could get the Government to treat us as an exception.
有趣的是 汉弗莱
Interestingly, Humphrey,
这个权利似乎在你的大臣手上
it seems to be your Minister who has the authority.
怎样才能说服大臣认同贝利学院的重要性呢?
Howmight one persuade aMinister of the importance of Baillie College?
我不知道 不如请他来出席贵宾晚宴?
Why not get him down to a High Table dinner?
以他的智商能理解我们的状况吗?
Is he of the intellectual calibre to understand our case?
可以吧
Oh, yes!
这么简单的状况
It's intelligible to anyone
连维尼熊都能理解
with the intellectual calibre of Winnie the Pooh!
就是
Quite!
哈克的智商能比上维尼熊?
And Hacker is of the intellectual calibre of Winnie the Pooh?
哦 可以的
Oh, yes!
状态好的话
On his day.
早安 大臣 早安 汉弗莱
Morning, Minister. Morning, Humphrey.
有两件事 大臣
Two things, Minister.
首先 部里推荐的授勋名单
Firstly, the departmental recommendations for the honours list.
又是授勋名单 是的 大臣
The honours list again! Yes, Minister.
先放一放好吧? 不能放 大臣
Let's leave that for the moment. We can't leave it, Minister.
快到5星期期限了 5星期?
It's getting nearthe five weeks. Five weeks?
对 凡授勋都要提前5星期通知
All recipients are notified five weeks before.
好让他们有时间拒绝
It gives them time to refuse.
几时有公务员拒绝过授勋?
When did a civil servant last refuse an honour?
应该是财政部那位 拒绝骑士头衔
Somebody in the Treasury refused a knigh thood.
天啊 哪年? 似乎是1496年
When? I think itwas 1496.
为什么? 他有一个了
Why? He'd already got one.
大臣 如果您已经批准... 汉弗莱
Lf you've approved the list... Humphrey...
你知不知道20%勋位都授给了公务员?
Did you know that 20 % of honours go to civil servants?
这是对他们勤奋工作的适当奖赏 大臣
Afitting tribute to their devotion to duty.
不 他们已经拿薪水了
That's what they get paid for.
我们这些人得有特殊贡献才能得荣誉
The rest of us have to do something special to get an honour.
为弱智儿童工作20年才换一枚帝国勋章
They work for years with the mentally handicapped to get an MBE.
而你们的骑士头衔水到渠成
Your knigh thoods simply come up with the rations.
大臣 女皇陛下的公务员们一辈子
Minister, her Majesty's civil servants spend their lives
领♥取♥微薄薪水 最终默默无闻地退休
working for a modest wage and at the end retire in to obscurity.
荣誉只能稍微告慰他们为国家
Honours are a small reward for a lifetime of loyal,
和女王忠贞不渝 鞠躬尽瘁的一生
self-effacing discretion and devoted service to the nation.
微薄薪水? 唉 是的
"A modest wage"? Alas, yes.
汉弗莱 你一年的薪水超过三万镑
You get over?0,000 a year!
比我还多七千英镑 对 可是相比之下仍算微薄
That's ?,000 more than I get. But still relatively modest.
跟谁比?
Relative to whom?
像伊丽莎白·泰勒
Elizabeth Taylor, for example.
汉弗莱 你和伊丽莎白·泰勒毫无可比性
You are not relative to Elizabeth Taylor.
你们俩截然不同
There are important differences.
可不是 她又没在牛津拿过第一
Indeed, yes. She didn't get a first at Oxford.
你也不会默默无闻退休
And retire into obscurity?
你拿大笔养老金 去石油公♥司♥和银行做董事
You take a massive pension and become directors of oil companies.
那也是默默无闻的董事
But very obscure directors.
还没有炒鱿鱼之忧 干工业的 犯错误你会被解雇
You're in no dangerof the sack. In industry, you get the boot.
做公务员 你犯错误 我被解雇
In the civil service, if you screw up, I get the boot!
很好笑 大臣 那份名单... 不行 汉弗莱
Very droll, Minister. The list... No, Humphrey.
我不会白批 公务员得自己挣来荣誉
I'll not approve any honour to any civil servant who hasn't earned it.
您说什么"挣来"? 挣来就是挣来
What do you mean, "earned it"? I mean "earned it".
无功不受禄 这种事闻所未闻
Done something to deserve it. But that's unheard of!
我的新政要求部里所有公务员每年
My new policy is to withhold all honours from civil servants
削减预算5% 否则不给授勋
who do not make a cut in their budgets of 5 % per year.
你是不是默许啦?
Your silence indicates approval?
绝不是 您哪来这么荒谬的想法?
It does not! Where did you get that preposterous idea?
是...
It...
我突然想到的 荒唐透顶 闻所未闻 不可能
...just came to me. It's ridiculous! Unheard of!
怎么? 这整个想法就...
The whole idea is... It's...
它从根本上危及...
It strikes at the very roots of...
它是灭亡的前兆
It's the beginning of the end!
是导火索 是左翼激进主义
The thin end of the wedge! A Bennite solution!
然后呢? 您要废除君主制吗?
What next? Abolition of the monarchy?
别发傻 汉弗莱
Don't be absurd.