都市传说（2017）

"母狮子"会比较吸引人
Well, you see, the lioness would've been a twist.
我想去巴黎生活
I would like to live in Paris.
并不惊讶
Not surprised.
也许有一天我会去那儿的
Maybe one day I will do so.
那就坚持上学 安德烈
Then stick here at school, André.
教育会提供给你机会
Education brings opportunities--
巴黎 风♥骚♥的动物园管♥理♥员♥ 喧嚣热闹
Paris, coquettish zookeepers, the full hubbub.
你在战争期间去了巴黎生活吗
Did you live in Paris during the war?
我在战争期间去过很多地方生活
I have lived in many places during the war.
安德烈的英语进步很大
André's English improves markedly.
多亏了你 贝克特先生
Thank you, Mr. Beckett.
他梦想着有朝一日能到巴黎生活
You know, he has dreamed of living in Paris.
胜利日快乐
La fête de la Victoire!
胜利日快乐
反抗军万岁
反抗军万岁
Viva la Résistance.
他是反抗军 那你是不是杀了很多纳粹
He's a Resistance, did you kill a lot of Nazis?
安德烈
André!
我也想杀纳粹
I want to kill Nazi.
这不是我们的追求 安德烈
Well, it's not our ambition, André.
但你出生得有点晚
But you're a bit late.
-再见 -再见
- Au revoir. - Au revoir.
生日快乐
Happy birthday!
巴黎地图
这样你就永远不会迷路了
So you'll never get lost.
告诉我 安德烈
Tell me, André,
你尝过香槟吗
have you ever tasted champagne?
谢谢
Merci.
安德烈 我见到过许多人 许多伟人
Now, André, I have seen many men, great men,
被烈酒灌醉在地
brought to their knees by the sauce.
所以 答应我
So promise me,
谨慎对待酒这东西
you will treat it with respect.
好的 先生
Yes, sir.
-干杯 -干杯
- Santé. - Santé.
*老麦克唐纳有只猪 咿呀咿呀哟*
*Old McDonald had a pig*
*在这儿呼噜呼噜 在那儿呼噜呼噜*
*With a oink oink here and a oink oink there*
来吧 和我一起唱 安德烈
Come on, join it, André!
我不知道歌♥词
I do not know the words.
你一点都不好玩
You're no fun at all.
今天可是你过生日 你怎么这么沮丧
Why are you so sad on your birthday?
你很快就会知道了
You'll see soon.
安德烈 你要迟到了
André! Come, you're to be late.
他现在十三岁了 不用再上学了
He is thirteen now. No more school.
他很喜欢上学
But he enjoys school.
他交到了朋友 有个女孩
He has friends, a girl.
他有梦想 鲍里斯
He has dreams, Boris.
你不应该给安德烈灌输这些梦想的
And you should not be feeding André with these dreams.
他不能去巴黎
He cannot go to Paris.
大家只会不停地捉弄嘲笑他
And all those people make fun of him.
他在这里才是安全的
Here he's safe.
他的体型受到尊重
Here his size is valued.
所以你要把他藏一辈子吗
So, you're going to hide him away for the rest of his life
就好像他是个什么该死的见不得人的秘密
like a bloody dirty secret?
谢谢你一直开车送他 但安德烈不再需要你了
Thank you for driving him, but André doesn't need you anymore.
快干活
Allez!
等待安德烈
你现在还不需要他干活
You don't need him yet.
他没法在这样的天里干活
He can't work in this weather.
让我带他去上学
Let me take him to school.
至少让他把考试考完
At least until his examinations.
行 安德烈可以去考试
Ok, André can take the examinations.
如果他每门都过了
If he passes everyone,
他就能继续上学
then he can stay at school.
这个提议似乎挺公平
That seems like a fair idea.
那是
Of course,
安德烈此生还没通过任何一门考试
André has never passed any examination in his life.
一门都没有
Not one.
也许我们可以再商量商量
Perhaps we could renegotiate.
好运
Good luck.
冬天
阴♥茎♥插入女人的身体
And when the penis is inside the woman,
头部的小门打开
the little hatch open at the top.
孩子从男人身体里游出
The baby swims up and out of the man,
然后游到女人的身体里
and into the woman
然后男人把阴♥茎♥抽出
then the man takes out his penis...
谢天谢地
Thank god.
关上小门
And closes the hatch.
生物先暂时放一放
Let's leave biology for now.
谈判进行得相当艰难
The negotiations were very difficult.
一部分人支持绥靖主义
Some people supported the appeasement,
而其他人...
and the other people...
用餐愉快
Bon appétit.
希♥特♥勒♥入侵波兰 战争开始
And then, Hitler invaded Poland and that is when the war started.
希♥特♥勒♥建立纳粹兵营
You know, Hitler only started all the Nazi bollocks
是缘于他是一个糟糕的画家
because he was such a god-awful painter.
差评对一个人就有这么大的影响
That's what a bad review can do to a man.
没错 先生
Yes, sir.
差评不仅仅只是差评那么简单
But a bad review is never just a bad review, of course.
是的 先生
No, sir.
《戈多》在伦敦上演的时候
You see, when Godot got to London
英国人看了来自巴黎 柏林的
and the English have seen the reviews from Paris and Berlin,
热评
all the rage, you know,
跟法国观众相比
and, well, they could hardly play third fiddle
他们不甘心无足轻重
to the frogs in the crowds,
他们当然明白
of course they know.
于是英国人落井下石
So they twisted the knife.
那我是怎么做的
And what did I do?
我来了这里建小别♥墅♥
I came here and built a cottage.
我做得多得体啊
How dignified of me!
没错 先生
Yes, sir.
我本应该炸了伦敦西区[剧院汇集地]I should have bombed the West End, instead.
我觉得您不应该这么做 先生
I do not think you should have done that, sir.
没错 你说的对
No, you're right.
人们会说那样不够精妙
They would have said it lacked nuances.
听啊 安德烈
Listen, André.
雨停了
The rain has stopped.
可以这么说 别♥墅♥和工人的关系
It could be said that the situation between the man and the cottage
就像两个分别已久的恋人
is that of two lovers who've been apart too long.
你想怎么比喻都行
Anything could be said, of course.
他们相知的速度越慢
The slower they get to know each other,
最后反而会越满意
but again, the more satisfying the end would be.
我有点怕这个比喻 鲍里斯
I fear for this metaphor, Boris.
我有点怕
I fear for it.
我必须慢慢工作 才能吊足别♥墅♥的胃口
I must work slowly to fully tantalize the cottage.
但是同样不能催别♥墅♥
But equally, the cottage must not be rushed
这样它才能吊足工人的胃口
in its attempt to fully tantalize the man.
鲍里斯 不管怎么说 工人和别♥墅♥
Boris, whether or not, the man and indeed the cottage
都已经被吊足了胃口
are fully tantalized, it is of course a significant concern.
谢谢
Thank you, sir.
然而与此同时
But the same time,
我住旅馆的账单可越来越长了
my hotel bills are mounting
我必须确保有天能搬进自己家
and I must surely regard one day move into my home.
要是您真这么急的话
If you're in such a hurry, sir...
我想让安德烈来帮我
I could use some extra hands.
现在还不行
Not yet.
词句已经成型 杰罗姆
The words are formed, Jérôme.
但是选择先用其中一个词
But choosing one to use first
感觉就像是背叛其他的
feels such a betray of the others.
这样对你可不好 塞缪尔
This is not good for you, Sam.
远离巴黎 远离苏珊
To be away from Paris, away from Suzanne.
独自一人在那边无所事事
Alone out there with your thoughts all day.
我一直让自己忙着 杰罗姆
Oh, I'm keeping busy, Jérôme.
我送一个孩子上学
I take this kid to school.