查理驾到（2019）

查理驾到
第一季 第二集
这孩子人呢
Where is this boy?
没大没小 总迟到
Disrespectful. Always late.
-早上好 -你迟到了
- Good mornin'! - You are late.
是吗
Am I?
谁是对的 你的妈妈 还是你的表
Who is right? Your mother or your watch?
我妈妈
My Mamma.
你 给我倒杯咖啡 快点
You. Make me coffee, quick. Quick, quick.
工作如何
How is business?
唱片公♥司♥的人都很满意...
Everybody at the label's so happy about--
等等 怎么了
Hold on a minute. What is it?
我怎么说的 现在不行 我在打电♥话♥
What did I say to you? Not now, I'm on the phone!
谁啊
Who is it?
失陪一下 妈妈
Excuse me, Mum.
兄弟 《暴风男人》
Brother! Man like Stormz.
能上那张专辑太好了 好
I can't wait to get on that record. Yes.
我当然想做 不 我再打给你吧
Course I wanna do it. No, I'll call you back.
上帝的荣光照耀了我们家
The glory of God is radiating over our family.
上帝保佑
Praise God.
你曼彻斯特的亲戚 伊曼纽尔
Your cousin Emmanuel in Manchester--
跟你年纪相当
Mmhm, who is your age.
刚升了职
...has been promoted!
混♥蛋♥
Wanker.
-而且要有孩子了 -是吗
- And is having a baby! - Is it?
不是一个哦 是两个
Not one. Two!
-双胞胎 -双胞胎 嗯
- Twins! - Twins. Yeah...
那么 你们怎么样
So, how are you?
虽然有些艰难 但我们在挺住了
Things are not easy, but we are powering through.
我的艾莉西娅还好吗
How is my Alicia?
艾莉西娅 她很好 她...
Alicia? She's good. She's good. She's, um...
埋头工作呢
married to her work.
我们上次去时我怎么跟她说的
What did I tell her last time we visited?
生孩子优先 事业其次
Baby first, business after.
她可别落得像我可怜的妹妹莉狄娅那样
She doesn't want to end up like my poor sister Lydia.
无子 独居
Childless and alone.
我要真是无子独居还好了
I wish I was childless and alone.
行了 挂了电♥话♥吧 要不话费要花光了
Hey, get off the phone before the Skeep money runs out.
不 爸爸 视频通讯是免费的
No, Dad... Dad, Skype is free.
人生中没有免费午餐
Nothing in life is free, boy.
我的好查尔斯 我们的车坏掉了
My dear Charles, our car has died.
-糟糕 -炉子也是想灭就灭
- Oh, no. - And the cooker turns off when it wants.
-糟糕 -从不听我的
- Oh, no. - Not when I want.
这样吧 不用担心这个 妈妈
Well, erm... You know what? Don't worry about it, Mum.
-我不会允许爸妈过得这么艰难 -别
- I can't have my parents like that. - No!
我会寄钱过去
I'm gonna send money.
哈利路亚
Hallelujah!
要是没有你帮忙
Without your help,
我们可能就得卖♥♥掉伦敦的房♥子了
we might have to sell the house in London.
-什么 -那你和我妹妹要住哪啊
- What? - Then where will you and my sister live?
一定代我们向莉狄娅问好
Please send Lydia our regards.
好的
I will.
-儿子 -怎么了
- And, son... - Yeah?
-刮刮胡子吧 -外表精神
- Please shave. - Smart on the outside,
-内心明智 -内心明智
- smart on the inside. - On the inside!
我爱你们
Okay, I love you.
查理 总有一天 你的生活会复杂到
Charlie. One day, your lives will become so tangled,
你记不住事实
you won't remember the truth.
他没撒谎
He's not lyin'.
他在保护他的父母
He's protectin' his parents, man.
不让他们因他现在的生活感到羞愧和失望
From the shame and disappointment of his life right now.
多谢了 兄弟 总这么照顾我
Thanks, bro. Always lookin' out for me.
他在侮辱你
He is insulting you.
你还要再给他们钱 买♥♥新车和炉子吗
So, you want to give more money for a new car and stove, eh?
那钱应该花在这个家里 加热你的水
That money belongs in these walls, heating your water.
听着 钱肯定够的 相信我
Listen, there'll be plenty of money to go around. Trust me.
我现在受雇于大卫了
I'm on David's payroll now.
受雇
Payroll, eh?
你 你连株植物都照顾不活
You? You can't even keep a plant alive.
你要怎么照顾好一个小姑娘
How are you going to take care of a little girl?
我就是暂时照管她
I'm just keeping an eye on her.
给他们时间安顿下来 仅此而已
While they settle in. That's it.
因为你是保姆 是吧
Because you're the nanny, innit?
不 不是保姆 我只是在帮个朋友
No, I'm not the nanny. I'm just helpin' out some mates.
他们也会帮我 是啊
And they're gonna help me out. Yeah.
听着 想象一下
Check this out, right? So, picture this, okay?
加布莉尔上♥床♥睡了 我的工作完成了
Gabrielle's in bed asleep, my job's done.
萨拉在录音室里 我下楼去录音室
Sara's in the studio. I go down to the studio.
你猜怎么 她说 "查理 我们做首曲子吧"
Guess what? She goes, "Oh, Charlie, let's make a tune."
我跳上麦克风 她喜欢 冠军单曲 砰
I jump on the mic, she loves it, number one hit, bang.
砰 砰什么
Bang. Bang what?
砰 孩子死了
Bang, the child is dead,
因为你忙着做音乐
because you're too busy making music
而不是保护你负责的孩子
instead of protecting your charge.
我才是需要保护的人 她的嘴巴可厉害了
I'm the one that needs protectin'. She's got a gob on her.
你真该看看她是怎么对待之前一个保姆的
You should have seen the way she treated that last nanny.
听着 我们说清楚
Yo, listen, just so we know.
你是承认你确实是保姆 是吧
You're admittin' that you are the nanny, yeah?
-闭嘴你 -你是奶妈
- Shut up, you. - You're the mamma.
你得把那姑娘管教好
You know, you need to discipline that girl.
-带上我的木勺 -什么 不要
- Take my wooden spoon with you. - What? No.
现在不能打孩子了
You can't hit kids no more, man.
听着 查理
Listen, Charlie. Just...
你得在这小姑娘的层面上与她交心
You need to connect with this yout' on her level.
知道吗 做她的朋友
Yeah? Be her friend.
我要怎么跟一个被宠坏的11岁小孩做朋友
How am I supposed to be a friend to a spoilt 11-year-old?
他们都喜欢泰勒·斯维芙特和吸血鬼妆容
They all like Taylor Swift and vampire facials.
吸血鬼什么
Vampire what?
就是那些《娇妻秀》
You know, like, the Real Housewives,
考特妮·卡戴珊什么的
Kourtney Kardashian, all them.
就是一种让你变漂亮的妆容
It's a facial that makes you look nice, is basically it.
别说胡话了
Stop talking nonsense!
独角兽 兄弟 独角兽
Unicorns, my brother. Unicorns.
-独角兽 好吧 -对
- Unicorns. Okay. - Yeah!
如果那不成功
And when that doesn't work,
你就带她过来 我们试试我的办法 好吗
you bring her here, we try it my way, eh?
就敲她一下
Just one tap, that's it.
好吧 听着
Okay. Listen...
祝我好运
Wish me luck!
-我要挣钱去了 -非信徒才需要好运
- I'm bringin' in the bacon! - Luck is for unbelievers.
我相信你 兄弟 我相信你
I believe in you, bro, I believe in you.
我知道 那可都坏了
I know you do. That's gone off, you know.
耶稣献出生命
And you know, Jesus did not die
可不是为了让你这年纪的男人去看孩子
so that a man your age could be a childminder.
查理 别摔我的
Charlie! And don't slam my...
门
door.
-你想要谁来 -绝不要大卫的公♥关♥
- Who do you want to come? - Not David's publicist.
他最糟糕了
He's the worst.
-那人真是... -不是吧
- The dude absolutely, definitely-- - Really?
这家里没有神圣的区域了吗
Is nowhere sacred in this house?
这里应该是不谈工作的地方
This is meant to be a workfree zone.
如果你不在录音室里乱搞
I'll stop having meetings in your bedroom
我就不在卧室里开会
when you stop screwing in the studio.
你们好啊
What's happenin'?
男保姆来了
Hey, the manny has arrived.
别那么喊我
Hey, don't call me that.
-你好 -我们什么时候去派对
- Hello. - What time are we going to the party?
哪件衣服能显示"我比你更酷"
And which dress screams "I'm cooler than you"?
什么派对
What party?
妈妈要靠花钱进入英国音乐圈
Mom's buying her way into the UK music scene with her big bucks.
虽然这粗俗 强人所难