查理驾到（2019）

- Just let her. - She might be in trouble! Hey, boss.
-嗨 查理 有空吗 -怎么了
- Hey, Charlie, are you free? - What?
加布和亨特在玩捉迷藏
Gabs and Hunter are playing hide and seek.
-我知道这只是个游戏 -好的
- I know it's just a game. - Okay.
但这地方太大了 我开始担心了
But this place is huge and I'm starting to worry.
-靠 -谢谢了 查理
- Fuck sake! - Thanks, Charlie.
快点起来
No Seriously, quick, quick, quick!
你知道加布是什么样的吧
You know what Gabs' like, right?
我会来找你的
Hey! I'll find ya.
你在哪呢
Um, where are ya?
你有毒品吗
Do you have any drugs?
为什么我以前从来没有体验过人群冲浪
Why have I never crowd-surfed before?
因为没有专家告诉你怎么做 这就是原因
'Cause you haven't had an expert to show you how, that's why.
有人把大拇指插♥进♥我屁♥股♥了
Someone put their thumb up my bum!
你是说你享受这种陌生人间
You mean you enjoyed the collective feeling
相互信任又友善的集体感吗
of trust and goodwill among strangers.
是啊 也挺好的
Yeah, that too.
接下来呢
What next?
你把索兰格胸罩穿在你屁♥股♥上后下一个目标是什么
Where do you go after getting your arse felt up in Solange's bra?
大家下午好
Good afternoon, everyone.
等着和阿奇·赛克斯一起讨论他的书
For all of you waiting' for Archie Sykes' talk on his book
《视频博客的焦点》的诸位 我们正在等阿奇到来
Vlogging the Limelight, we're just waiting for Archie to arrive.
你去谈谈你即将发行的书
I think you give a talk about your upcoming book.
来吧 阿奇
Come on, Archie.
-嗨 他在这里 -加布
- Hey, he's over here! - Gabs!
-不 不 -他在这
- No. No! - He's over here.
得排队 女人
There's a line, woman!
兄弟 告诉你 我是阿奇·赛克斯
Mate, I'm telling you. I'm Archie Sykes.
听着 你可以买♥♥到印有我脸的避孕套
Look, you can buy condoms with my face on them.
不好意思 你是不是把媒体通行证
Excuse me, did you give press passes
给了两个无人陪伴的未成年小孩了
to two unaccompanied underage kids?
我不会让几个孩子蒙骗过关的
I wouldn't have let a couple of kids outwit me.
我的同事也不会 对吧
Neither would my staff, am I right?
不好意思 你把我的通行证给他们了吗
Excuse me, did you give my passes to them?
他们说我恐同 我不是 兄弟
They called me a homophobe! I'm not a homophobe, man.
-我要把这个拍下来 -我叔叔就是同性恋
- I've gotta vlog this. - My uncle's gay.
天啊
Oh, Christ!
好吧 你现在应该在哪
Okay. You, where are you meant to be right now?
-宣传我的书好赚钱买♥♥游艇 -走吧
- Plugging my book so I can buy a yacht. - Let's go.
这就是为什么我要淡出公众视野
So that's why I'm going to be retiring from public life, and...
去康复中心的原因
checking into rehab.
什么
Oh, what?
如果你想捐款来帮助我解决手♥淫♥的问题
If you want to donate to help me with my masturbation problem
请把钱给我在那边的迷人助理
uh, please do give to my glamorous assistant over there.
好的 好的 有什么问题吗
Yeah, yeah. Question?
为什么你看上去和现实生活里很不一样
Why do you look so different in real life?
很不幸 这是重度手♥淫♥患者
Unfortunately, that is one of the lesser-known side effects
鲜为人知的副作用之一
of being such a massive wanker.
-谢谢 -这个以及脱发
- Thank you. - Um, that and the hair loss.
哥们 我们有麻烦了
Dude, we got a problem.
天 那不就是享誉全球的DJ萨拉·凯恩吗
Oh, my God. Is that the world-famous DJ Sara Caine over there?
快跑 加布
Run, Gabs!
再见 妈妈
Bye, Mom!
查理 他在那
Charlie, he's here!
- 萨拉 -查理
- Sara! - Charlie.
在那
Down there!
加布
Gab!
我的生活方式让我体力不支
Oh, my lifestyle's catching up with me.
是啊 我可正值黄金年龄
Yeah. I'm in the prime of my life right now.
我们本来都要抓到他们了 就差一点
We had them, we were so close.
你为什么不抓住他们
Why didn't you catch them?
我还以为他们在卡姆登教了你怎么跑步
I thought they taught you how to run in Camden.
是 是跑开而不是去追
Yeah, away from stuff, not towards it.
如果大卫知道了这事
If David finds out about this,
毕竟我说过要当称职家长什么的
after all I've said about responsible parenting,
我耳根就没法清净了
I'll never hear the end of it.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
我们得高一点[也有嗑药的意思]
We should get high.
-那没用 -不不不 字面意思的高一点
- That's not helpful. - No, no, no, like literally, get high.
来吧 来吧
No, come on. Come on.
好吧
Okay.
再给我解释下逻辑
Walk me through the logic of this again?
-她戴着粉红色假发 对吧 -是的
- Well, she's wearing a pink wig, right? - Yeah.
所以从高处我们能看到更多
So we'll see more stuff from an elevated position.
莉狄娅小姨总是说
Aunt Lydia always says,
"在地上丢失的 在天堂就能找到"
"Whatsoever is lost on earth shall be found in heaven."
天堂就在你肩膀上吗
And heaven is on your shoulders?
差不多吧
Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
趁你继续自降身价前 赶紧去找吧
Let's do this before you cheapen yourself further.
好嘞
All right, cool.
有人吃了不少甜甜圈啊 好吧
Someone's been eating the doughnuts! Okay.
亨特 别接吻了
Hunter! Quit with the tongue gymnastics.
-这样可以吗 -嗯
- Is that okay? - Yeah.
你有想到你在这会做着这事吗
Is this how you imagined you'd be spending your time here?
我的病人比我想象中大了几岁 不过
Well, my patient's a few years older than I expected, but, you know...
-别乱说好吗 -别打护士
- Aah! Careful with your "Fews!" - Ow, don't hit the nurse. Ow!
淡定
Okay? Easy.
在录音室之外和你玩挺有意思的
It's fun hanging with you outside the studio.
我还以为你厌倦了我呢
Well, there's me thinking you were sick of me.
厌倦了你的歌♥ 也许
Sick of your song, maybe.
或许你该制♥作♥完然后发布出去
Maybe you should finish it and put it out there, then.
别催我
Don't push me.
我教训你还是搓搓有余的
You're not too big for me to put over my knee, you know.
是吗 用哪个膝盖
Oh, yeah? Which knee is that?
我在包扎的这个 我不
The knee that I'm bandaging? I'm not...
你把我从高处摔下来的那个
Uh, the knee that you dropped from a height.
懂得感恩好吗
Listen, how about a little recognition?
-感谢你摔了我吗 -查理 那是天堂
- For dropping me? - "Charlie, that was heaven!"
-感恩 -你刚才是去了天堂
- Recognition! - You was in heaven.
-你知道 -你们两个睡了吗
- You know- - - Are you two fucking?
-什么 没有 -没有
- What? No. - No!
你为什么这么说
Why did you say that?
那你们能不能别这么亲密
Then can you stop looking like you're fucking
这样就不会有什么垃圾小报
so I don't get a call from some
打我电♥话♥要我发表评论
trashy tabloid asking for a comment?
还有件事
Uh, and another thing.
我不喜欢用我手♥机♥上的定位应用
I don't appreciate having to find my client
来找我的客户
using the tracking app on my phone.
知道吗 侃爷也会接经纪人的电♥话♥
Okay? Even Kanye answers the phone to his manager.
艾丝翠德 听着
Hey. Astrid, listen...
查理 没事 我们都是在尽职而已
Charlie. It's fine. We're all just doing our jobs.
别忘了试音
Uh, sound check, don't forget.
我有个主意
I got an idea.
-她就在附近 -嗯
- She's really close. - Yeah.
不知道为什么我们没早点想到
I don't know why we didn't think of this.
你确定你不想去试音
Listen, are you sure you don't wanna go sound check
我去找他们吗
and I'll look for 'em?
不 查理 哪个更重要
No, Charlie, what's more important?
试音 还是比孩子们更聪明
Sound check, or outsmarting the kids?
不担心艾丝翠德要说什么吗
Not worried about what Astrid's gonna say?
艾丝翠德 不 我不 为什么我要担心
Astrid? No. I'm not... Why would I... worry?
你就是那个有着巨大...的不错男子
You're the nice guy with the really big...
什么 你在说什么
With the what? What are you talking about?
-我不会说完这句话 -听着
- I'm not gonna finish that sentence. - Listen, uh...
没什么的
You know what? It's really nothing.
就只是...
It's just a little bit of...
-她跟我说了 很愉快 -真的吗
- She told me. Very satisfying fun. - What, really?
-不谈爱只谈性 -好吧
- No strings attached. - Oh, okay.
我为你们高兴
Yeah, good... good for you guys.
你知道在我家什么算色情短♥信♥吗
You know what passed for a sext in my house?
"亲爱的 你觉得我该做牙冠移植吗"