超级豪宅（2015）

哦 泰德亲自写了一段话
Oh, a personal note from Ted.
"雷克斯 你是我交情最深的朋友
"Rex, you are my oldest friend.
我知道你和联盟会做正确的事"
I know you and the League will do the right thing."
哈 我听得清清楚楚
Hoh! Read you loud and clear.
雷克斯 你不能这样
Rex, you can't!
行 行 好吧
Okay, okay, fine!
但是它们不能 也不会留在这里
But they cannot, and will not stay here.
求你了 让我们养它们吧
Oh, please, let us keep 'em!
我的八个恢复小组都推荐我养治疗动物
All eight of my recovery groups recommend therapy animals.
有酷琦还不够吗
What's wrong with Cooch?
我其实算是触发动物
I'm more of a trigger animal.
你知道什么是乐趣吗 布拉德 磕嗨 看到没
You know what's fun, Brad? Getting high. See?
雷克斯是对的
Rex is right.
这个改造宠物是少数人才能肩负起的责任
That augmented pet is a responsibility few can shoulder.
我知道我不能
I know I couldn't.
这么多年之前
All those years ago...
你准备讲个故事吗
Are you going to tell a story?
我刚刚准备讲的 但是我想再等等
I was going to, but I think I'll wait.
现在后退 我不想你们中弹
Now, step back. I don't want you catching any buckshot.
不
No!
想杀就杀吧
You might as well do it.
我们已经没有其他地方可以去了
We've got nowhere else to go.
自从某个东西把欧米伽泰德吃掉了一大半
Not since something ate most of Omega Ted.
等一下 欧米伽泰德是被吃掉的
Wait, Omega Ted was eaten?
螳螂夫人
Frau Mantiss.
我必须得去趟南极了
I have to go to Antarctica for a little while.
这是去拉屎的暗语吗
Is that code for taking a dump?
直说就行了 雷克斯
Just say it, Rex.
凡人皆会拉屎
Everybody poops.
我本该陪在欧米伽泰德身边
I should have been there for Omega Ted.
至少现在要揪出杀了他的凶手
The least I can do is find out who killed him.
没错 借此替代四十年间就给他打了一次电♥话♥
Correct. In lieu of calling him once in 40 years,
这确实是你至少能做的事了
this is the least you can do.
唉
Ugh.
等下 这是意味着我们可以留下这些欧米伽萌宠了吗
Wait, does that mean we can keep the Omega Pets?
我要这匹小马啦
Oh, I call the horse.
我一直都梦想骑着马进入战场
I've always wanted to ride into battle.
我怎么学习去成为一个人类
How can I learn to be a man
如果我从没关心过人类最好的朋友呢
if I've never cared for man's best friend?
看来剩了一只松鼠给我吃
I guess I've got a squirrel to eat--
给我照顾 去爱
Take care of. Love.
怎 么 回 屎
What. The. Shit?
每个人都有了宠物 除了我
Everyone gets a pet except me?
不 没门
No! No way!
一不注意 失去良机
You snooze, you lose.
这不公平 我恨你们所有人
This isn't fair! I hate all of you!
得有人去确定他还好
Somebody should make sure he's okay.
好吧 这样也行
Yeah, that works too.
我会爱你 喂你
I'm gonna love you, and feed you,
并且去哪里都骑着你
and ride you everywhere we go.
哦 呃
Ooh, uh,
关于骑我的事
about the riding.
怎么啦
Yeah?
呃 你不觉得这么着有点蠢吗
Well, don't you think that'd look kinda silly
我这么娇小可爱 然而你却
with how small and adorable I am, and how...
你懂的
you know.
哦
Oh.
也许你能为了我甩掉身上的几磅肉 嗯
Maybe you could shave off a few lbs for me, huh?
你觉得你做得到吗
You think you could do that?
当然 可以 可以
Yeah, sure. Sure.
这才对 这才是我的哥们儿
Ah, there he is. That's my guy.
我应该能减掉几磅
I guess I could drop a few pounds.
这是去拉屎的暗语吗
Is that code for taking a dump?
能多带一个人吗
Is there room for one more?
如果我们要对付的是我想的那个人的话
If we're dealing with who I think we are,
事情就麻烦了
it is going to get hairy,
你还要操心你老婆呢
and you've got a wife to think about.
她录像机里存着30集<幸运之轮>呢
She's got 30 Wheel of Fortunes on the DVR.
不需要我♥操♥心
She'll be fine.
而且待在那些宠物旁边
Besides, being around those pets
会让我想起不好的回忆
brings back painful memories...
算了 还是不说了
that I'd rather not discuss yet.
好吧 想说了就告诉我
Yeah. Well, keep me posted.
我一定要自己养一个宠物
I will have a pet of my own.
暗黑萨图恩在此发誓
So swears Black Saturn...
噢 我去
Oh, holy shit!
啊
Aah!
噢 狗♥娘♥养♥的 啊
Oh, son of a bitch! Aah!
别在房♥顶上装那些该死的石像鬼了
Stop putting those goddamn gargoyles on the roof!
你看他怎么对我的 游侠
Do you see how he treats me, Ranger?
我们该出发了
We... should really get going.
我知道你听到了 游侠
I know you heard me, Ranger!
你不能就这么视而不见
You can't fly away from what you saw!
你可真能叫啊
You certainly are a vocal organism.
你饿了吗 还是
Are you hungry, or...
真难听啊
That is a terrible sound.
你能别叫了吗
Are you going to stop that any time soon?
我都做了些什么
What have I done?
这就是你的房♥间吗
So this is your room, huh?
碎蛋小子要睡哪里
Where the hell's the nut gonna sleep?
这个嘛 我们会想个办法的
Oh, you know, we'll figure something out.
也许睡在我肚子里
Maybe inside my belly.
等下 你要吃了我
Wait, you're gonna eat me?
你是松鼠 我是猫
You're a squirrel and I'm a cat,
兄弟 我能怎样
bro. What do you want me to say?
别动 那是什么
Hold up, what's that?
你看到了没
Did you see that?
噢 来来 帮我抓住这东西
Oh, come on, man! Help me catch this!
太好玩了
This is fun!
这就对了 小妞 去追红点玩吧
Yeah, that's right, girl. Chase that dot.
对了 布拉德 如果你要骑我的话
Yeah, Brad, if you're gonna be riding me,
你不能穿成这垃圾样
you can't wear this trash.
不行 不行 不行 我妈给我买♥♥的背心
Oh, no, no, no! My mom gave me that vest...
我不想再听到你提起她了 布拉德
I don't want you talking to her anymore, Brad.
要是你还想做搭档的话
Not if we're gonna be partners.
但是 - 你还想不想骑我了
But... - Do you wanna ride me or not?
当然想了 健气 我不是这个意思
Of course, Ganky, I didn't mean...
我才不要驮着一个大屁♥股♥妈宝被人看到
I will not be seen with a fat-ass mama's boy on my back!
我是一匹迷你马 不是航♥空♥母舰
I am a miniature horse, not an aircraft carrier!
你说得对 健气 对不起 对不起
You're right, Ganky, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
噢别别别 嘿 嘿 嘿
Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey,
没事的 我只是有点生气而已
it's okay. I just got a little sore is all.
你这么帅
You're so beautiful.
谢谢你 Timtuk 味道不错
Thank you, Timtuk, this is delicious.
美国游侠 你还没尝你的企鹅肉串呢
American Ranger, you have not touched your penguin skewers.
我是坚决不会碰那玩意的 我谢你
And under no circumstances will I ever. Thank you.
这一点都不无礼呢
That's not insulting at all.
你认为欧米伽泰德跟谁杠上了
So, who do you think did Omega Ted in?
一个我过去认识的女人
A woman from my past.
她有着铰链下巴和挑男人的好品味
One with a hinged jaw and a taste for men.
螳螂夫人
Frau Mantiss?
我听说你在切尔诺贝利把她杀了
I heard you killed her in Chernobyl.
我以为我杀了她
I thought I did.
也许我漏掉了什么事
Maybe I missed something.
也许这碗一角鲸汤更和你胃口
Perhaps you will find this narwhal soup more to your liking?
我表示强烈怀疑
I highly doubt that.
跟我想象的一样 难喝
Just as I suspected. Terrible.
欧米伽泰德怎么想的
What in the world made Omega Ted
在这个鸟不拉屎的地方建欧米伽堡垒
build Fort Omega in this godforsaken land?
这个嘛 他在二战之后有重要任务
Well, he has some important mission after World War II.