超级豪宅（2015）

是的
That's right.
把一份感情当做秘密保守
Keeping a relationship a secret
就表示你做错了
implies you're doing something wrong.
啊 有人饿了吗
Gah! Who's hungry?
我们都饿了 - 饿死了
We all are. - Intensely.
那我再去弄点开胃小菜
Well then, let me whip up another appetizer
等买♥♥吃的人回来
while we wait for the food.
我今晚就能把剩下的49800刀还给你 Lucini
I can get you the other $49,800 tonight, Lucini.
犹波特 你在干嘛
Jewbot, what are you doing?
我的出厂日期显示 我现在13岁了
By my manufacturer date, I am 13 years old.
是时候和这个几乎无用的人类一起尽义务了
It is time I paid my dues with this semi-useless human surplus.
Darren给我介绍了份入门的工作
Darren "Hooked me up" With an entry-level position.
我的乖乖 这罐腌黄瓜里有脏东西
Oh, dear. This pickle jar is contaminated.
那是人的手指吗
Is that a human finger?
犹波特 这能让商家赔付上百万呢
Jewbot, that's a million-dollar lawsuit waiting to happen!
我要给Lucini打个电♥话♥
I gotta call Lucini.
我们要发大财了
We're gonna be rich!
年轻人
Young man,
有人偷了我的矫正鞋
someone stole my orthopedic shoes!
作为一个没有丁点儿同情心的美国少年
As an American teen with zero empathy,
我觉得这太搞笑了
I find that hilarious.
我是酷琦 我现在有鞋穿了 一切都没问题
Cooch here. But I got shoes on, so it's okay.
酷琦 能不能特么快点
Cooch, hurry the fuck up!
顺便给我买♥♥个搅拌器来
And pick me up a mixer.
我在洗碗机里找到的那个紫色的不好使
The purple one I found in the dishwasher isn't working at all.
听起来好像是我的震动棒
That sounds like my vibrator.
你是说
Are you telling me I'm
我用震动棒做了一碗蛋黄酱吗
jamming a bowl of mayonnaise with a vibrator?!
酷琦
Cooch!
您好 有什么喜欢的吗
Hello, see anything you like?
没 我不属于这里
Nah, I don't belong here.
我只是只街上的野猫
I'm just an alley cat.
你知道吗 在我看来
Well, guess what? To me,
你看起来会变成一只高贵的猫女王
you look like a fancy cat waiting to happen.
靠 你看起来比我聪明
Well, shit, you look smarter than me.
为我打开新世界的大门吧
Show me the world.
看起来很好吃啊
That looks yummy.
噢 天呐 雷克斯 这什么鬼味道
Oh, god, Rex, figure it out.
Gloria 咱们就此打住吧
Gloria, we've got to stop this.
你是个好女人 但游侠是我的朋友
You're a wonderful lady, but Ranger is my friend.
哦 小雷雷 别抢我的硬糖
Oh, Rexy, don't take away my hard candy.
咳咳
Ahem.
没打扰到你们吧
Am I interrupting something?
没 没没没没 Gloria只是
No. No, no, no, no. Gloria was
只是在帮我做吃的 用这个震动棒
just helping me make appetizers with this vibrator...
搅拌器
mixer.
我在找个能用的卫生间
Just looking for a bathroom that isn't condemned.
我不知道那些奥利奥放了多久了 但是 恶
I don't know how old those Oreos were, but ugh!
正在我肚子里翻江倒海呢
They're putting up a fight.
啊 卫生间
Gah! Bathrooms.
呃 我想想 呃
Uh, let's see, uh...
水槽已经满了 还有哪 还有哪
The sink is full. Where else, where else?
你照着自己的节奏来就行
You just go at your own speed.
不常有人下来陪我
I don't get a lot of company down here.
您真的不能站在这上面
You really can't be up there.
哦 是吗 我♥干♥嘛要时刻戒备呢
Oh, yeah. Why should I keep a dark vigil
你们店里不就有一个超级罪犯而已吗
when there's a supervillain in your grocery store!?
Bugula是我们最好的顾客之一
Bugula is one of our best customers.
他早晚会动手的
It's only a matter of time before he makes his move.
他说得对
He's right.
萨图恩和我有些冲突
Saturn and I are on a collision course
因为这些炖牛肉便宜得我都不好意思不买♥♥了
because I'm not passing up beef stew at this price.
你怎么做到的 Darren
How do you do it, Darren?
价格都是公♥司♥定的
Corporate sets prices.
即便如此 也很厉害了 Darren
Still. It's impressive, Darren.
我不知道
I don't know.
真应该把你碎尸万段 Bugula
Oh, first volley goes to you, Bugula!
你这个疯子
You maniac!
他什么也没做错
He was using the display properly.
你是在和他谈恋爱还是什么 天呐
Are you guys dating or something? God!
呼
Whew.
这是我在Bryan Singer家参加完聚会之后
Well, that's the scariest dump
最恐怖的一次蹲坑经历了
I've taken since that party at Bryan Singer's house.
胜利啊 你应该试试这些加了糖的冰块
Victory, you've got to try these sugared ice cubes.
好吃得命都能给它
They are to die for.
能吃 勉强能吃
Edible. Barely.
要不咱们订个披萨吧
Well, should we order a pizza?
你知道我不吃饭会怎么样
I mean, you know what happens to me if I don't eat.
我的身体需要糖分
I need sugar in my system.
噢 我的天
Oh, god.
游侠 游侠
Ranger? Ranger?
这里空间还多着呢 - 游侠
There's enough to go around. - Ranger...
游侠 游侠
Ranger? Ranger!
你还好吗 游侠
You okay, Ranger?
哦 没事 没事 没事 好
Oh, yeah, yeah, yes, yes.
我 呃
I'm, uh...
他快醒了
He's coming to.
再做一次人工呼吸
Just one more puff.
哎呀 - 不 别碰我
Bleh! - No, get off of me!
休想把我变成你们中的一员
You'll never make me one of you!
"你们"中的一员
"One of you"?
他是想说
I'm sure what he meant to say
豪♥宅♥资金严重不足
was this mansion is sorely underfunded.
你对我们有什么意见吗 游侠
Do you have a problem with us, Ranger?
不是 只是 只是我是军人出身
No! It's just I... I come from the military
部队不允许这样
where this isn't allowed.
时代变了 老古董
It is now, you caveman.
该死的时空隧♥道♥
That damned time tunnel!
我对你太失望了 游侠
I'm disappointed in you, Ranger.
你对我失望
You're disappointed in me?
游侠 别 别
Ranger, uh-uh.
你是我的搭档
You were my sidekick.
是一个热爱自♥由♥和杀掉那些
An innocent little boy who loved freedom, and killing other human beings
不认可我们观念的人的单纯小男孩
that didn't agree with our principles.
你记得这个小男孩吗
Remember this little guy?
把旗子插♥进♥德国佬屁♥眼♥的时候
We laughed and laughed when
我们多开心啊
we planted that pole in that kraut's rear end.
没想到你还爱上这事儿了
I didn't think you'd make a habit out of it!
还是说说预算的事情吧
Back to the budget--
我不想再当你的搭档了
I don't want to be your sidekick anymore.
很好 或许我该再找一个了
Fine! Maybe I'll go find another one?
好 - 好
Fine! - Fine!
这确实是犯了战争罪
Yup, that was definitely a war crime.
这种照片不应该乱扔
Probably shouldn't leave that lying around.
怎么样 - 哎呀 Benji 给我的吗
Hmm? - Damn, Benji, for meow?
喔 我会戴这个出去的
Ooh, I'll wear that out.
看 看这个不用按的指甲刀
Look. Ooh, look at this-- pinch-free claw trimmers.
你是个巫师吗
Are you a warlock?
试试尺寸
Try this on for size.
不 你疯了 我不会的
Nah, you're crazy, I couldn't.
啊 你特么 你是要偷袭我吗
Ah! What the-- You wanna take a shot at me?
快承认吧
Come correct!
我只是想表现得可爱点 这是猫薄荷
I was just trying to be cute! It's catnip.
嗯 这个好棒
Mmm. Ooh, that's nice.
把这些全都打包 Benji 我都要了
Wrap all this shit up, Benji, I'll take it.
你开始了新生活 酷琦
You're starting a new life, Cooch.
更好的生活
A better life.
好啦 新搭档马上就来啦
All right, one new sidekick coming up.
招募优秀的年轻男孩
Seeking clean-cut young boy.
一定要身材好 胡子要刮干净
Must be fit, clean shaven,