超级豪宅（2015）

你想来点酷琦吗
You want some Cooch?
不要妈的
Don't get mad...
要布拉德
get Brad!
欧米伽泰德呼叫联盟司令部
Omega Ted to League Command!
我们发现了一间纳粹培育室
We have found a Nazi breeding chamber.
请求立即
Request immediate--
妈的 坏掉了
Ah, dammit, it's dead!
雅利安人的基因和昆虫的绞接
Aryan DNA spliced with insects?
他们在试图创造完美的
They're trying to create the perfect
纳粹繁殖机器
Nazi breeding machines!
试图
Trying?
我敢说他们已经成功了
I dare say they've succeeded.
螳螂夫人
Frau Mantiss!
士兵 你在干什么
Soldier, what are you doing?
在我看来她不像是个讨厌的虫子
She doesn't look like a bug to me.
哦 但是我确实是
Oh, but I am.
我有幸拥有
I've been blessed with the essence
自然界最贪婪的爱侣的精华
of the most voracious lover in nature,
螳螂
the praying mantis.
因此我能用无数雅利安婴儿淹没整个地球
All so I may drown the earth in a sea of Aryan babies.
我喜欢婴儿们 还有被淹没
I love babies! And drowning.
你喜欢的我都爱
Whatever you love!
孩子 螳螂会吃掉她们的配偶
Son, praying mantises eat their mates!
没错 在她们让你爽上天之后
Yeah. After they bone you to the wall.
对 但不幸的是 对于你
Yes, but unfortunately for you...
我等不及得提前开动啦
I suffer from premature mastication!
啊
Aah!
介意我打断你们吗
Mind if I cut in?
钛金雷克斯
Titanium Rex!
我一直想问问你
I've been meaning to ask you
在元首的月球基地 你是怎么从我手中逃走的
how you escaped me at the Fuhrer's Lunar Base?
如果我记得没错
If I remember,
我用我的舌头在你的
I used my tongue on your--
呃 泰德 接下来交给我吧
Uh, Ted, I'll take it from here.
呵
Ha!
你要做我的身下败将了 螳螂夫人
You're going down, Frau Mantiss!
你想上我就直说
All you had to do was ask.
我愿意操虫子的次数比我预想中要多
The amount of times I will fuck a bug is higher than I thought.
但绝不会超过一次
But it is not higher than one!
既然那样的话
In that case,
死吧
die!
哈
Ha!
你的刀锋穿刺不了我的粗皮厚肉
Your blades cannot penetrate my Subtopian skin!
或者我的心
Or heart...
雷克斯 你是唯一一个在我手下幸存的男人
Rex, you're the only man who can survive me.
你太坏了我好恨好恨你
Too bad I hate you so...
好恨
so...
去他的
Eh, screw it.
哦 天哪 雷克斯 好棒
Oh, my god, Rex! Oh, yeah!
螳螂夫人
Frau Mantiss...
雷克斯 雷克斯
Rex! Rex!
螳螂夫人
Frau Mantiss!
雷克斯 醒醒
Rex, wake up!
啊 Gloria
Huh? Gloria?
你压着我的氧气管了
You're on my oxygen tube.
哦 不好意思
Oh! Sorry.
螳螂夫人是什么
What's a Frau Mantiss?
哦 是我此生最大的错误
Oh, my greatest mistake.
呃 至少前十吧
Well, top 10, at least.
也许是时候告诉我老公咱俩的事了
Maybe it's time we told my husband about us?
呃 为什么要破坏美好的当下
Well, why mess with a good thing?
不给我喝杯咖啡吗 - 我会给你打电♥话♥的
No coffee? - I'll call you.
好吧
Okay.
我他♥娘♥的♥这是在干什么
What the hell am I doing?
又一个以失望收场的辣椒烹饪赛 Kip
Which brings another chili cookoff to a depressing finish. Kip?
说得真好 Jim
Great stuff, Jim.
虽然你没预报天气 但是 说得好
Not the weather, but great stuff.
今早南极发生一件大新闻
A big story out of the south pole this morning,
超级英雄欧米伽泰德被发现已于本周之前死亡
where iconic hero Omega Ted was found dead earlier this week.
什么 - 泰德后半生足不出户
What? - A shut-in for the latter part of his life,
他的尸体发现于他的南极堡垒中
Ted's body was recovered in his Antarctic fortress
身边围满被啃坏的家具和空的宠物罐头
surrounded by chewed furniture and empty cans of pet food
再快点 小娘炮
Faster, sally boy!
营房♥里的护士也比你速度快
The nurses in the barracks used to go faster than that.
安静点 我在慢慢上道儿
Quiet! I'm getting it, I'm getting it! Ah!
啊
Aah!
哈哈 没看起来那么容易吧
Haha! Not as easy as it looks.
我的血糖一定很低了
Well, my blood sugar must be low.
Margery今天上班了吗
Is Margery working today?
Margery 能给我些培根鸡蛋
Margery, can I get some bacon and eggs
以及一个该死的创可贴吗
and maybe a goddamn bandage?!
兄弟们 我有件令人心碎的事要和你们讲
Guys, I have something heartbreaking to tell you.
说吧 雷克斯 我在听呢
Go on, Rex. I'm listening.
呜嗷 - 牛逼
Whoa! - Bad-ass!
对一台机器来说做的不错嘛
Not bad for a machine,
但是请叫我John Henry 因为我即将
but call me John Henry, because I'm about to--
Susan B. Anthony 真尼玛疼
Susan B. Anthony, that hurts!
兄弟们 兄弟们
Guys, guys!
是欧米伽泰德的事 他对我来说很重要
It's Omega Ted. He meant a lot to me.
嗷 肥手指真碍事
Ow! Damn these fat fingers!
Margery 能不能给我也拿点创可贴
Margery, will you bring me some bandages, too?
他被发现
He was found--
能也给我一个吗
Can you bring me one too?
戴着手套看不清具体伤势
And it's hard to tell with the glove,
可能再拿些冰和一个冷却器
but maybe a cooler with some ice?
我他妈只需要五秒钟的时间
I just need five son-of-a-bitching seconds!
我们现在在干啥
What are we doing now?
我赢了吗
Did I win?
狗♥娘♥养♥的
Motherfu--
好吧 我玩好了 抱歉雷克斯
Okay, I'm done. Sorry, Rex.
那是我最后一次尝试了
That was my last try.
那么 到底是什么事这么重要
Well? What was so important?
今天 我失去了一位好朋友
I lost a good friend today.
一位我已经近四十年未曾说过话的朋友
A friend I hadn't spoken to in 40 years.
所以 也许每个人都该走点儿心
So, maybe, everyone could be just a little more sensitive.
你四十多年都没和你好朋友讲过话
You hadn't spoken to your good friend in 40 years?
哦 门响了
Oh, door.
嘿 等一下 兄弟们
Hey, wait up, guys.
这不公平
No fair!
寄给钛金雷克斯的快递
Delivery for Titanium Rex
来自欧米伽的遗产
from the estate of Theodore Omega.
"我 欧米伽泰德 把我最珍爱的东西赠与
"I, Omega Ted, bequeath my most prized possessions
钛金雷克斯 我宝贵的朋友"
to Titanium Rex, my treasured friend."
看到没 我们是铁哥们
See? We were tight.
哦 我去
Oh, shit.
欧米伽萌宠们
Omega Pets.
哦 - 好可爱
Aww! - Cute!
嗨 队员们 我是健气 一匹欧米伽迷你小马
Hi, team. I'm Ganky, the Omega mini-horse.
这是切特 欧米伽狗
And this is Chet, the Omega dog.
我是欧米伽松鼠 他们叫我碎蛋小子
I'm the Omega squirrel. They call me Buster Nut,
因为我可以 而且我会做到
'cause I can, and I do.
好恶心
Gross.
那是匹迷你小马驹吗
Is that a mini-horse?!
哦 雷克斯 你得让我们养它们
Oh, Rex, you gotta let us keep 'em!
不不不 当然不
No, no, no, absolutely not.
也许我们能把它们送回去
Maybe we can give them back?
"遗嘱是由Frieberg Goldberg Greenberg和Bamberg准备的"
"Will prepared by Frieberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, and Bamberg."
这文书肯定无懈可击
Well, yeah, that's gonna be airtight.
那是为什么
Why is that?
这还用说吗
Come on.