加布好老师

听着 明天就是学术十项全能比赛了
Listen, tomorrow is the academic decathlon.
你们准备好殊死一战了吗 拼个你死我活
You boys ready to battle, mano a mano?
或多或少算是吧
Eh, más o menos.
我多他少
I'm más, he's menos.
但加布刚刚拿50块压了他的学生
But Gabe just bet 50 bucks on his kids
都没问赔率是多少
without even asking for odds.
伙计 美国历史上有很多哀兵必胜的例子
Hey, man, American history is full of underdog stories.
没错 他们都说
That's right. They said that
戴维·克罗克特在阿♥拉♥莫之战中没胜算
Davy Crockett didn't stand a chance at the Alamo.
戴维·克罗克特是阿♥拉♥莫之战中的虽败犹荣的英雄
他在阿♥拉♥莫英勇就义了
He died at the Alamo.
我只是个教英语的
I teach English.
各位 十项全能比赛前夜快乐
Happy Decathlon Eve, everybody.
明天就是加布小队的死期
Yup, tomorrow is Día de los Muertos for Gabe's team.
这在西语中是"亡灵日"的意思
That means "Day of the Dead" In Spanish.
我知道 托尼 我又不傻
Yeah, I know, Tony. I'm not an idiot,
我看了《寻梦环游记》
I've seen Coco.
我有一只通晓一切的灵兽
And I've got a spirit animal with all the answers,
她的名字叫作玛莉索
and her name is Marisol.
但你也只有玛莉索一个人
But that's Maris-all you got.
看见我刚做的事了吗
Hey, you see what I did there?
是啊 丢了自己的老脸 我看到了
Yeah, embarrass yourself? Yeah, I saw it.
加布 你带学生踏上一段如此崇高的旅程
Gabe, you've taken your kids on such a noble journey.
你已经取得了道德上的胜利
You've already won a moral victory.
那又不好玩
Yeah, those aren't a lot of fun.
"斯基普 我们在长滩市中心
"Hey, Skip, we're here in downtown Long Beach
庆祝今年道德胜利的游♥行♥
for this year's Moral Victory Parade.
正如你所看到的 这里一个人也没有
As you can see, there's no one here
因为根本就没有道德胜利一说"
'cause those don't exist!"
加布 我的好伙计雷基姆
Gabe, my man Rakeem
为了明天的十项全能比赛激动得不行了
is so fired up for the decathlon tomorrow.
他会包揽跳远和高栏赛跑的冠军
He'll dominate in long jump and high hurdles.
教练 这可是学术十项全能比赛
Uh, Coach? It's an academic decathlon.
什么
What?
我都不知道那是啥玩意儿
I don't even know what that is.
我们的学生要解答学校各个科目的问题
Our students answer questions on a variety of school subjects.
那就是书呆子的运动了
Oh, so sports for nerds.
-我有个好消息带给各位 -简直太棒了
- I got great news, gang. - So great.
莱克伍德高中的校长突然离职了
Turns out, the principal of Lakewood suddenly left
理由是想多花点时间陪伴家人
to spend more time with his family.
你知道真的原因是什么
You know what that means.
他爱他的家人
He loves his family?
行 就用这种说法吧
Sure, we'll go with that.
而我刚拿到他的这个工作机会
And I was just offered his job.
但你拒绝了 对吗
But you turned it down, right?
加布 还记得莫妮克
Gabe, remember when Mo'Nique
凭借《珍爱》获得奥斯卡奖吗
won the Academy Award for Precious?
-谁 -凭什么
- Who? - For what?
就是这样
Exactly.
对某些人来说 机会寥寥无几
For some people, opportunities are few and far between.
但想想你留下会带来的机会呢
But what about the opportunity you have here?
你要知道他们会给你建一座雕像
You know they'll build you a statue
要是你批准我快乐星期五吃长笛卷的提议
if you green-light my flauta Fridays idea.
加布 我作为妻子 母亲和教育工作者
Gabe, as a wife, a mother, and educator,
我一生都在照顾别人
I have spent my entire life looking out for others.
-感觉相当不错 对吗 -并不是那样
- Feels pretty good, doesn't it? - Not particularly.
是时候照顾一下我自己了
It's time to look out for me,
我只是想成为一所精英学校的校长
and what I want is to be at an Elite 100 school.
你不能走 我们需要你 我需要你
You can't! We need you. I need you.
你的智慧 你的指导
Your wisdom, your guidance...
你教我把胸罩当钱包用
You taught me to use my bra as a purse.
我的胸罩更像是周末旅行袋
Mine's more of a weekender bag.
我们连你离开去欢度周末也不愿意
We don't want you leaving for a weekend.
我们压根儿就不想你走
We don't want you leaving at all.
放松点 伙计们
Relax, people.
这里的校长职位会由合格的人选顶替
The principal position here will be filled by a qualified person.
有些人甚至会说更有资格
Some might even say more qualified.
没人会这么说的 卡洛斯
No one will say that, Carlos.
很抱歉让大家失望了
Sorry to disappoint everybody,
但有时候你为自己着想时
but sometimes, this is what happens
就会发生这种事
when you look out for yourself.
但是给我们想要的
But giving ourselves what we want
并不一定是正确的事
isn't always the right thing to do.
如果是的话 我现在应该在杰克盒子餐馆的
If it was, I'd be in a Jack in the Box
免下车通道工作
drive-through right now.
为人师表 第一季第十集
你们准备好明天的比赛了吗
All right, you guys ready for tomorrow?
必须的 你教了我们
Hells, yeah! You taught us
所有关于美国历史的知识
everything about the history of our nation.
麦麦老师替你代课的时候
Yeah, and when Miss Mads subbed for you,
她教了我们所有关于《节奏王国》的知识
she taught us everything about "Rhythm Nation."
《节奏王国》是美国流行女歌♥手
珍妮·杰克逊的音乐专辑
我太过专注于安德鲁·杰克逊的恶行
You know, I was so focused on the bad deeds of Andrew Jackson,
安德鲁·杰克逊是美国第7任总统
没能加入珍妮·杰克逊的后援会
I never made it to the Janet Jackson administration.
所以 白人[总统]犯了印第安种族屠♥杀♥罪
So, the white man is guilty of genocide,
人们却把他的头像印在20美元的钞票上
and they put his face on a $20 bill,
但他的姐妹[女歌♥手]因为露乳事件
but his sister has a nip slip,
现在只能在食品连锁超♥市♥工作
and now she working at Trader Joe's.
报纸上就这么写的 好吗
That's just what I read, you know?
好吧 最后 最后一轮练习
Okay, one...one last practice round.
格蕾丝
Grace?
是谁在参议院的投票中打破了平局
Who breaks a tie in a Senate vote?
一共有100名参议员 50比50是平局
Okay, uh, 100 senators, a fifty-fifty tie...
山羊 有史以来最伟大的
Goat. Greatest Of All Time,
汤姆·布雷迪 最有价值球员奖 是副总统
Tom Brady, MVP, VP. Vice President!
过程有点曲折 但你做到了
That's a bit of a wobbly bicycle, but you made it.
伊莱·惠特尼以什么发明而闻名于世
what was Eli Whitney famous for inventing?
沃尔特
Walt?
天哪 我应该知道答应
Oh, boy. I should know this.
你肯定知道 施展绝地控心术 玛莉索
Hey, hey, you do know this. Uh, do the Jedi mind trick, Marisol.
好吧 沃尔特
Oh, okay. Walt...
"没问题 小黑"
"Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
没错 史努比狗狗 "开车招摇过街
Right. Snoop Dogg, "Rollin' down the street,
史努比狗狗 美国说唱歌♥手
嗑着药"
smokin' indo."
"喝着杜松子酒和果汁"[歌♥词] 是轧花机
"Gin and Juice." Cotton gin.
回答正确 超淡定
That's right. Laid back.
很棒的团队合作 玛莉索
Great teamwork, Marisol.
团队里没有"我" 但因为玛莉索有一个"M"
Hey, there's no "I" In team, but there is an "M"... for Marisol.
我们得给这个团队起个名字
Hey, we still need a name for our team.
别人都管我们叫接水盘
Uh, the other kids call us the drip tray.
洛伦佐 我想我们应该起个更响亮的名字
Lorenzo, I think we could do much better than that,
就算叫接水盘
even though the drip tray is
也得是有滋有味的
where all the flavor collects.
叫学术烟熏鸡怎么样
How about the Academic De-latha-keets...
导尿管
De-catheters.
你还是为后面的比赛省点脑子吧 麦奇
Save the brainpower for the big dance, okay, Mikey?
三个火枪手的
Well, the Three Musketeers'
座右铭是"人人为我 我为人人"
motto is "All for one and one for all."
叫火枪手队怎么样
How about The Musketeers?
我喜欢这名字 亚历山大·蠢蛋写的
Oh, I like it. Written by Alexander Dumbass.
他其实是叫仲马
He actually pronounced it Doom-ah.
她说得对
She's right.
我以前也像你这样叫他
I used to say it the same way as you.
直到我接到了一个家长的电♥话♥
Until I got a call from a parent.
下属们好
Hello, subordinates.
你为什么笑得像个白♥痴♥
Why are you smiling like an idiot?
因为宝拉要去莱克伍德高中了
Because with Paula decamping to Lakewood,
我将全权管理这所学校
I will be assuming full authority over this school.
我知道你为什么笑
Well, I know why you're smiling.
我的问题是 你为什么笑得像个白♥痴♥
My question was, why are you smiling like an idiot?