加布好老师

Mr. Iglesias S01E09

Part 1 May 29, 2020, 1:26 p.m.

真高兴能回来
Man, it's so good to be back.
罢♥工♥很值得
You know, the strike was worth it.
我们的大部分要求都得到了满足
We got most of what we were asking for.
但不是所有要求上课时间并没改成上午十点
But not everything. We didn't get 10:00 A.M. Start time.
只有你一个人提这个要求
You were the only one asking for that.
罢♥工♥就像是结肠镜检查
You know, a strike is like a colonoscopy.
我能相信你的话吗
Can I take your word for it?
结肠镜检查
With a colonoscopy--
不能信他接着往下说了
Nope, he's off and running.
检查时很不愉快但结束后
See, it's unpleasant while it's happening, but when it's over,
你就知道你做了正确的事
you know you did the right thing.
谢天谢地结束了包括罢♥工♥和那个类比
Well, thank God it's over... the strike and that analogy.
早上好艾比
Hey, good morning, Abby.
你们好啊
Hey, guys.
回到学生身边是不是很棒
Isn't it great to be back with our kids?
他们给我起立鼓掌了哎
I got a standing ovation.
太棒了
That's awesome.
托尼的学生都没意识到他走了
Tony's kids didn't even notice he was gone.
才不是
Not true.
我知道因为我回来时他们明显很沮丧
I know because they were clearly upset when I came back.
很高兴这只持续了一周
Well, I'm glad it was only a week.
我得去组织学生大学观光了
Gotta go organize the student college tours.
我班里的优等生惠特尼·卡森准备好了
Whitney Carson from my honors class is ready to roll.
她的行程已安排好了
Her itinerary is laminated.
有什么大不了的我的快餐店卡也是
Big deal, so is my Chipotle card.
早上好啊各位
Good morning, gang.
宝拉和我昨晚去过了闺蜜之夜
Paula and I had a little girls' night last night.
她继续慷慨地
She continues to generously
教导我处世之道
enlighten me in the ways of the world.
我不知道我教了你多少
I don't know how much I enlightened you.
每次有人想来搭讪时
Every time guys would try to holler at us,
你就开始聊你前男友丹尼
you'd start talking about your ex, Danny.
那很糟糕吗
Is that bad?
反正不好
It's not good.
基本上和"我要把处♥女♥之身留到婚后"
It's up there with "I'm saving myself for marriage"
以及"我的孩子们会喜欢你的"一样糟糕
and "My kids are gonna love you."
丹尼大学橄榄球明星
Danny, the college football star.
丹尼领养救援犬
Danny, the rescue-dog adopter.
丹尼自己交税
Danny, who pays his taxes.
每次男人去拿我们的饮料
Every time the men would go to get our drinks,
就再也不回来了
they'd never return.
他们去找丹尼了
They went to go find Danny.
大学橄榄球明星
College football star?
南达科他州有大学吗
Is there even a college in South Dakota?
救援犬就意味着他免费得到了一只狗狗
And rescue dog just means he got a free dog.
只要你一直盯着丹尼
As long as you keep fixating on Danny,
没有人能符合标准
no man will ever measure up.
我在骗谁呢
Who am I kidding?
我见过那条黄色短♥信♥
I saw that sext message.
没有人能比过他的大雕
No man will ever measure up.
iPhone会扭曲图像
You know, the iPhone distorts images,
特别是放大的时候
especially if you zoom.
放大从外太空都能看见那话儿
Zoom? You could see that thing from outer space!
但重点是海水涌动对吗
But it's about the motion in the ocean, right?
是啊船长继续这样骗自己吧
Sure, skipper, keep telling yourself that.
艾比我还以为你对丹尼翻篇了
Hey, Abby, I thought you were over Danny.
是啊我们不是都翻篇了吗反正我是
Yeah, haven't we all moved on? I know I have.
-早上好运动粉丝们 -教练
- Morning, sports fans. - Hey, Coach.
我觉得我可以翻篇
I think I could move on
只要丹尼别再给我送花写诗
if Danny stopped sending me flowers and poems
用我的名字命名星星
and naming stars after me.
所有的星星都该用你的名字
All the stars should be named after you.
悠着点小熊座
Pump your brakes, Little Dipper.
斯宾塞老师
Hey, Ms. Spencer,
有男人方面的问题吗
you got some man problems?
我有男人的解决办法
I got some man solutions.
就是我准备好翻篇了但丹尼没有
Well, it's just that I'm ready to move on, but Danny isn't.
我会给那混♥蛋♥打电♥话♥
I'll call the jerk.
威胁掐断他的脖子
Threaten to break his neck,
他就再也不会烦你了懂了吗
and he'll never bother you again, capiche?
真是很棒的提议迪克森教练
Oh, that is such a sweet offer, Coach Dixon,
但我觉得他只是需要更多时间
but I think he just needs a little more time.
你想加速时告诉我
Well, let me know when you wanna speed things up.
宾果和班戈整装
Bingo and Bango are locked...
待发
...and loaded.
好的如果我有了麻烦回头见
Okay, toodles noodles. See you in the soup.
好
Okay.
橄榄球赛季已经过去一个月了
Hey, football season's been over for a month now.
可怜的教练有些古怪了
Poor Coach is getting a little nutty.
他证明了这里没有药检
Yeah, he's proof that they don't drug test here.
是啊
Yeah.
实际上
You know, actually,
让第三方告诉丹尼
having a third party tell Danny
是时候翻篇了也不是个疯狂的点子啊
it's time to move on isn't a crazy idea.
不是吗说出更疯狂的两个
It's not? Well, name two crazier ones.
冰上钓鱼和怪人音乐节
Ice fishing and the Gathering of the Juggalos.
抱歉兄弟但是嘻哈小丑倾倒菲戈雨
I'm sorry, bro, but hip-hop clowns making it rain Faygo
我并不觉得疯狂
doesn't sound crazy to me.
菲戈是什么
What's Faygo?
白人的芬达
That's white people Fanta.
加布你能说服任何人做任何事
Gabe, you could convince anybody of anything.
你可以把锯末卖♥♥给木材厂
You could sell sawdust to a lumber mill.
请你给丹尼打电♥话♥好吗
Will you please call Danny?
打给木材厂远远没有打给一个我从未见过的
You know, calling a lumber mill would be a lot less awkward
背叛了我朋友的家伙那么尴尬
than calling some guy I've never met who cheated on my friend.
拜托加布
Come on, Gabe,
你得帮助艾比翻篇
you gotta help Abby move on.
这是正确的事
It's the right thing to do
对我们所有人来说
for all of us.
这是丹尼的号♥码
Here's Danny's number.
谢谢加布尔
Thanks, Gaber.
回头见
Toodles noodles.
如果我惹上了麻烦
See you in the menudo.
-你要做什么 -我要给丹尼打电♥话♥
- So what are you gonna do? - Well, I'm gonna call Danny.
如果讲不通我就把这号♥码给我姐姐
And if it doesn't work out, I'm gonna give this to my sister.
为人师表第一季第九集
你们都需要卖♥♥十盒巧克力棒
So, you'll all need to sell ten boxes of candy bars
来支付大学观光的费用
to help cover the cost of the college tours.
像是在街上贩毒
Moving weight on the streets.
红发大哥要赚钱了
Big Red gon' get paid.
海沃德老师
Oh, Mr. Hayward,
如果我父母买♥♥20盒
if my parents buy 20 boxes,
飞机上我旁边可以留个空座位吗
can I have an empty seat next to me on the plane?
我可以参观惠特尼不去的大学吗
And can I visit whatever colleges Whitney isn't visiting?
别担心我不会去参观保底学校的
Don't worry, I'm not visiting any of my safety schools.
我的保底学校是邦克山社区学院
My safety school is Bunker Hill Community College.
没有比建在地堡里的学校更安全的了
Nothing safer than a school in a bunker.
bunker有地堡的意思
对吗
Right?
没错洛伦佐
Yes, Lorenzo.
你们中的一部分人会去参观社区大学
Some of you will see community colleges,
另一部分则会关注像加州大学洛杉矶分校
others will look at state schools like UCLA,
和加州大学欧文分校这样的公立学校
UC Irvine--
我一直想上加州大学洛杉矶分校
I always wanted to go to UCLA
直到他们的橄榄球项目
Until their football program
在阴沟里翻了船多亏了奇普·凯利
went down the toilet! Thanks, Chip Kelly!
好吧沃尔特
All right, Walt,
我委任你作为代表
I'm deputizing you.
负责后勤和计划
You're in charge of logistics and planning.
不这样安排不合逻辑
Oh, nope, that plan is not... logical.
别这样我能做好谁要吃糖
Come on, I got this. Yo, who needs some sugar?