加布好老师
Mr. Iglesias
第一季
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加布好老师
Mr. Iglesias S01E01
Part 4
May 29, 2020, 1:25 p.m.
没错 所以我才叫你过来的
That's right. That's... That's why I called you here.
我需要你帮我让麦迪森校长心情愉快起来
I need your help getting Principal Madison in a good mood.
给她喝一壶苹果马蒂尼就行了
Just get a pitcher of appletinis in her.
我都不想知道你是从哪儿听说的
I don't even wanna know how you know that.
就在她的个人简介里
It's on her profile.
"给我来一壶苹果马蒂尼
"Just get a pitcher of appletinis in me,
见证魔法时刻"
and let the magic happen."
你知道吗 格蕾丝
You know, Grace,
我想告诉你 我多么为你感到骄傲
I want you to know how proud I am of you
今年你进步很大
and how far you've come this year,
以防我被解雇
in case I get fired.
解雇 你为什么会被解雇呢
Fired? Why would you get fired?
你是学校里最好的老师
You're the best teacher in the school.
我们也得面对"矮子里拔将军"的现实
Which, let's face it, that's a low bar.
也许你可以
You think maybe you can, uh,
黑入麦迪森校长的约会档案
hack back into Principal Madison's dating profile?
你想要哪一个
Hmm... Which one do you want?
陌陌 珍爱网 美丽约
Uh, Bumble, Tinder, UrbanSwipe.
除了"农场约" 她都注册了一遍
She's on everything but FarmersOnly.
等等 连那个也注册了
Oh, wait, she's on that one too.
那顶牛仔帽太合适她了
Yeah, girl is rocking that cowboy hat!
我决定选
I'm going with...
加布
Gabe!
去他妈妈的花
Mother-flowers!
我是说
I mean, uh...
恭喜你 加布
Congratulations, Gabe.
我只是 你知道
I just, you know...
艾比 这就是你不该这么拼的原因
Hey, Abby, that is why you should never try your hardest.
好耶 是我
Ooh. Yay, me.
你这是怎么了 加布
What's the matter, Gabe?
你赢了好吗
You won!
我以为你现在就要跳起庆祝的小舞了呢
I figured right now you'd be doing your touchdown dance.
你懂的
You know...
跳点儿萨尔萨舞 跳点儿萨尔萨舞
A little salsa, a little salsa
跳点儿萨尔萨舞
A little salsa
这样舞动几下
You know, like a dab or two?
来吧
Come on.
扭起来
Do your thing.
我一直在想
You know, I've been thinking...
干脆你别给我安排得到认可的学生了
instead of giving me the teach-approved kids,
而是把那些收到了赫尔南德斯
I don't know, why don't you give me the kids
"劝退"信的学生给我吧
that got the "Counseled out" Letter from Hernandez?
他是全世界最糟糕的笔友
You know, the world's worst pen pal?
卡洛斯 你能进来一下吗
Carlos, can you come in here a sec?
蝗灾 泡疮灾 黑暗之灾 赫尔南德斯
Locust, boils, darkness... Hernandez!
《出埃及记》中的十大灾难
我们刚刚还在谈论你
Hey! We're just talking about you.
卡洛斯 加布自告奋勇
Carlos, Gabe has volunteered
要去教那些我们劝退的学生
to teach the kids we've counseled out.
玛莉索·富恩特斯是我最得意的学生
Marisol Fuentes is my best student.
可她的出勤率不达标
Her attendance is unacceptable.
她得工作 她有一份真正的工作
She works. She has a real job.
你也应该试试
You should try it!
我们只是为了能让每个学生都能成功
We're just putting every student in a position to succeed.
听着 很多人放弃了这些孩子
Look, so many people have turned their backs on these kids,
但我不想成为那种人
and I don't want to be one of those people.
我们并没有放弃他们
We're not turning our backs on them.
我们只是把脸转向好学生
It's turning our faces to the good students.
赫尔南德斯也许认为这些孩子是隐身的
Look, Hernandez may think that these kids are invisible,
但我看见了他们所有人
but I see them. All of them.
木已成舟
It's done.
等等 卡洛斯
Hold on, Carlos.
等等 卡洛斯
Yeah, hold on, Carlos.
你说"隐身"吗 加布
"Invisible," You say, Gabe?
我说了吗
Did I?
当一个女人到了某个年纪时
You know... a woman gets to a certain age,
就会知道那是什么感觉
and she sure knows what that feels like.
有色人种知道那种感觉
People of color know what that feels like.
-太对了 姐妹 -闭嘴 卡洛斯
- Preach, sister. - Shut up, Carlos.
这种事情最糟糕了
You know, it's the damnedest thing.
刚刚我在约会软件上收到来自一个
I got a message on my dating app a little while ago
丹泽尔类型的年轻俊男的信息
from this fine-looking, young Denzel-type
丹泽尔 美国黑人男演员
他想请我喝杯苹果马提尼
who wants to buy me an appletini.
丹泽尔 这是你喜欢的类型吗
Denzel? Is that even your type?
我很活泼 不是吗
I'm alive, aren't I? Mm...
他还引用了《隐身人》 那是我最爱的小说
He even quoted Invisible Man. That's my favorite novel.
我一直想看这本书
You know, I've been meaning to read it.
"我隐身仅仅是因为人们拒绝看见我"
"I am invisible simply because people refuse to see me."
听起来真是个迷人的家伙
Wow, sounds like a real catch.
然后你进来了
And then, you come in here,
把那些孩子形容为隐身的人
and you refer to these kids as invisible.
这真巧
That's quite a coincidence.
这也许是个征兆
Or maybe it's a sign.
如果现在我们对这些孩子视而不见
You know, if we don't see these kids now,
那永远不会有人看见他们
no one ever will.
好吧 加布里埃尔
All right, Gabriel.
给你一个暑期的时间改造他们
You got this summer to turn 'em around.
成绩 纪律 出勤 都不能有差错
Grades, discipline, attendance. No screw-ups.
所以加布要浪费一个暑期对牛弹琴
So, Gabe has to waste his summer teaching the drip tray,
然后我就可以将他们踢出学校了 这样我能接受
and then I get to kick them out. I can live with that.
毕竟你能接受你自己
Well, you live with yourself.
那你就能接受任何事情
You can live with anything.
我们拯救不了所有人 加布
We can't save them all, Gabe.
我知道 但是
I know, but...
如果都不尝试一下 我们算什么
who are we if we don't even try?
他真帅
He is fine!
等等 这就是丹泽尔
Wait a second, this is Denzel.
这是《塘鹅暗♥杀♥令》里的照片
This is a picture from The Pelican Brief.
有人在他的头上加了一顶牛仔帽 加布
Somebody photoshopped a cowboy hat on his damn head. Gabe!
你们有些人来这里是因为成绩差
Some of you are here because of your poor grades,
出勤率低 纪律原因 或以上皆是
poor attendance, disciplinary reasons, or all of the above.
到处捣乱 还得了三双
Messed around and got a triple-double.
不得不说 那天很棒
Yup. I gotta say, it was a good day.
我有好消息和坏消息
All right, so I got some good news, and I have some bad news.
好消息是 没人会被劝退
The good news is no one is getting counseled out.
太棒了
Yes!
坏消息是 我们得上暑期班
Yeah, the bad news is... we're gonna have to do summer school.
等等 这两个都是坏消息
Wait, those are both bad things!
不好说 现在我这个暑期有事干了
I don't know, now I've got something to do this summer.
我暑期也有事干 但不是上学
Yeah, I got something to do this summer too, and it's not school.
"伊格莱西亚斯拯救世界了
"Yay, Mr. Iglesias saved the day!
我们爱他和他的帽子"
We love him and his hat!"
你的旅行怎么办
What about your trip?
谁想坐在一辆酷酷的大众汽车里
Who wants to roll around in a cool Volkswagen bus,
听着九十年代的音乐去参加摔跤比赛呢
listening to '90s jams and going to wrestling events?
我猜你想去
I'm gonna guess you?
-对 -没错
- Yeah. - Yeah.
可能我没有考虑清楚
Maybe I didn't think this through.
年度新人
Whoo! Rookie of the Year!
没错
That's right.
这真的是一个奖
As it turns out, it's a real award.
它上面还刻着你的名字
It's got your name engraved on it and everything.
你们太棒了
Aw! You guys are the best!
是艾比 不是艾笔
Oh! There's only two Bs in Abby. Heh.
兄弟 就给你安排了这一件事啊
Bro, you had one job.
谢谢 你收到我的信息了 凯蒂
Ah, thank you. I see you got my text, Katie.
你的苹果马提尼
Your appletini
还有续杯
and your back-up appletini.
你要喝什么 加布
How about you, Gabe?
老样子 加冰块的姜汁汽水吗
The usual, ginger ale on the rocks?
加布好老师
Mr. Iglesias
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