洛维航线

LA to Vegas S01E13

Part 3 June 4, 2020, 4:15 p.m.

现在我吃饱了你已经凉了
Now I'm full, and you are cold.
我们现在就可以开吃我只需要把晚饭热一下
We can eat now. I just have to heat up dinner.
五分钟就好我点了"蓝围裙"
It'll take five minutes. I got Blue Apron.
我要问清楚你觉得这个箱子里装的
To be clear, do you think there's a fully cooked dinner
是做好的晚饭吗
in that Blue Apron box?
对啊这就是个送餐服务伯纳德
Yes. It's a gourmet meal delivery service, Bernard.
等下在你开箱前先让我拿杯酒
Wait. Before you open that, let me grab my wine.
好了
Okay.
开始吧
Proceed.
-这是什么鬼 -对了非常搭
- What the hell is this?! - Yes, this pairs very well.
还得煮不
You have to cook?! No!
我还以为是做好了送来的
I thought this came already prepared.
为什么我自己做晚餐还得付钱
Why the hell would I pay to cook my own dinner?
我没时间搞这个
I don't have time for this.
你睡的可是个厨师
You are sleeping with a chef.
不行我不能找他帮忙
No. I can't ask him to help.
今天这出就是要证明我很有责任心
This-this whole thing was to prove that I am responsible
成熟稳重而...
and sophisticated and...
没事
I'm fine.
你去招待布赖恩拖住他
You go stall and entertain Bryan,
我来搞定这些
while I put all this together.
拖住罗妮这事别找我
Stall? Ronnie, I don't stall.
我一出马
When I entertain
这就会是场盛事盛典大场合
it's an event, a sacrament, an occasion.
最差也是个光辉时刻
At worst, a moment.
艾伦能先回避一下吗
Hey, Alan, can you give us a sec?
小帕和我要自♥拍♥一下
Patty and I are gonna take
见证我们第一次正式在一起的时刻
our first official relationship selfie.
这是我们的社交账号♥首次登台
It's our social media debut.
稍等我整理下发型
Hold on. Let me fix my hair.
作为公众人物我得打扮得体
As a public figure, I have to look appropriate
藏起我的双手省得有人修一个鸡鸡在我手里
and hide my hands so no one Photoshops a penis into them.
真恶我们可以把一辆车发射进太空
Disgusting. We can shoot a car into space,
却不能想个好点的地方修个鸡鸡
but we can't think of a better place to Photoshop a penis?
亲爱的过来来和我们照张相
Oh, sweetie. Come here. Get in this picture.
她对竞选很有帮助
She's a big hit with the base.
-来吧 -好吧
- Here we go. - Yeah, sure.
伯纳德过来过来
Oh, Bernard! Come here, come here.
他能帮忙省去很多麻烦
He checks off a lot of boxes.
-我来干什么 -朝着镜头笑就行了
- What the hell am I doing here? - Just smile for the camera.
直说啊
Why didn't you say so?
很难把四个人都拍进去
I-It's hard to get all four of us to fit.
这边来一点
Just... this way a little bit.
好了
Perfect.
真好
Nice.
-你皮肤真好 -我很喜欢...
- Your skin is incredible. - I like the...
天呐晚餐怎么了
Oh, my God! What happened to the dinner?
照菜谱做太费时间
The recipe was gonna take too long,
而且我不知道怎么处理童子鸡
and I don't know what to do with a game hen.
所以我就照我们在贝克尔斯菲的方法做了
So I'm just doing what we do in Bakersfield
把一堆东西放在一个锅里
and turning a bunch of things into a casserole.
罗妮看起来这个像吃剩下的
Ronnie, that looks like something already ate it.
我知道所以我需要你的帮助
I know. That's why I need your help.
搞一点那边的食材把这个弄得像沙拉一点
Grab some of that food. Try to make it look like a salad.
牛油果蜂蜜燕麦你从哪弄来的这些
Avocado, honey, oatmeal... Where'd you get all this from?
-我洗劫了你的美容抽屉 -我的鹌鹑蛋
- I raided your beauty drawer. - My quail eggs.
我还洗劫了你的逃生物资
I also raided your earthquake kit.
我的腌制鹌鹑蛋
My preserved quail eggs!
对不起伯纳德别生气
Sorry, Bernard. Don't be mad.
现在我不能生气了
Well, now I can't get mad.
我没有祛皱的东西了
I don't have anything to smooth the lines.
布赖恩把你跟我说的话告诉妮科尔
Bryan, tell Nichole what you just told me.
请不要在我上厕所时闯进来
Please don't come into the bathroom while I'm using it.
不后面那句
No, after that.
我刚告诉他我的电影点子他说
You see, I told him the idea of my movie and he said...
听起来很有趣请出去
Sounds interesting. Please get out.
很有趣就像《逃出绝命镇》一样
Interesting, like the movie Get Out.
阿提姆我真的不喜欢
Artem, I didn't like it.
我觉得朋友间就应该坦诚
I thought friends were supposed to be honest.
朋友就应该传递正能量
Friends are supposed to focus on the positives.
就像我跟布赖恩说 "衬衣不错"
Like when I tell Bryan, "Oh, that's a nice shirt,"
但从不会问 "为什么带个傻♥逼♥手环"
but never ask, "Why stupid bracelet?"
我只是想尿个尿
I was just trying to pee.
帕特丽夏
Patricia.
我们之前还没能真正合张影
So we never actually got to take that picture before,
如果你现在想拍的话
if you want to take it now.
没什么的
No big deal.
坦白地说是我想对我来说很重要
Full disclosure, I want to. It's a big deal.
对来拍吧现在就拍
You're right. Let's do it. Let's take it. Right now.
天呐我们又丢了两票
Oh, my God. We lost two more votes.
我的非饮用水法案不会通过了
My non-potable bill's not gonna pass.
不好意思我得处理下这个
I'm sorry. I have to deal with this.
我跟你合影戴夫
I'll take a picture with you, Dave.
闭嘴艾伦
Shut up, Alan.
好吧两张正常的一张扮丑的
All right, two regular, one silly.
这是我的儿童图书《炸鱼薯条》
Okay, and this is my children's book Fish and Chips.
两个警♥察♥的故事卡尔·炸鱼和韦斯利·薯条
It's two cops, Carl Fish and Wesley Chips.
好可爱
That's so cute.
你觉得温度还好吗
Are you happy with the temperature?
我可以调热一点
I can make it warmer.
还好
I'm good.
他们在调查一副失窃的艺术品的下落
Now here they are uncovering a cache of stolen art.
好玩的就是 "薯条"就是鱼
The twist is, you see, that Chips is the fish.
你手♥机♥快没电了
Oh, your battery's almost dead.
我带了充电器
Here, I have a charger.
科林
Hey, Colin.
我不想扫兴但我一直在观察你的约会对象
I don't want to be a bummer, but I've been watching your date.
你确定她是在约会而不是把你当乘客计价
Are you sure you're her date, and not still her passenger?
当然是约会了
Yeah, of course it's a date.
你哪里看见基本款混动车了吗
What, do you see any entry-level hybrids around here?
好吧但我建议你检查一下打车软件
Okay. But I'd check the app if I were you,
因为她友善得像是想挣小费
because she's being tip-conscious level nice,
你是帅但还不到"勾搭优步司机"的级别
and you're cute, but not "Pick up an Uber driver" cute.
感谢你伤害我的自尊但是...
Thank you for the ego-bruising concern, but I've...
来瓶水吗
Tiny water?
伯纳德你尝尝
Okay, Bernard, what do you think?
再多加点眼霜
It needs more eye cream.
罗妮我们得谈谈
Ronnie, we need to talk.
别担心戴夫晚餐马上就好
Oh, don't worry, Dave. Dinner will be ready any minute.
不我来告诉你我们得延后开餐
No, I came to say we have to delay dinner.
帕特丽夏还在讲电♥话♥ 今晚太失败了
Patricia is still on the phone. Tonight has been a bust.
你似乎压力很大
You seem like you're really stressed.
你能不能放下手中东西
Why don't you put all that stuff down
-专心听我说 -罗妮问个问题
- and focus on me? - Ronnie, quick question.
我想登入我的优步账号♥查看...
I'm trying to log on to my Uber account for,
-没什么但我连不上无线网 -嗯
- nothing, but I can't seem to get a Wi-Fi signal. - Yeah.
伯纳德的公♥寓♥严禁任何形式的发射波
Bernard doesn't allow any type of waves in the apartment.
他说会加速老化
He says it's bad for aging.
如今我的最后一道防线也被做成了晚餐
Well, now we're eating the last line of my defense,
不如把信♥号♥♥塔盖在我脸上吧
so just put the cell tower right on my face.
够了你们如果没打算帮忙
Okay, if you're not in the kitchen helping,
请离开厨房♥
could you please leave?
罗妮你安排我坐妮科尔旁边
Ronnie! You have me sitting next to Nichole,
我必须换座位
so I need to switch seats.
有什么问题吗
What is the problem now?
她不尊重我这个朋友
She doesn't respect me
也不尊重我这个艺术家
as a friend nor as an artist.
-你什么时候成了艺术家 -我是
- Oh, so you're an artist now. - Yes.
少了阿提姆就没有艺术
You can't spell "Artist" without "Arty."
随便如果你想闹脾气
Fine. If you want to be a baby about this,