洛维航线

LA to Vegas S01E01

Part 4 June 4, 2020, 4:13 p.m.

But I don't know. I don't like hummus.
让一下
Excuse me.
不对我不喜欢的是牛油果酱
Oh, no, it's guacamole I don't like.
我不喜欢牛油果酱
I don't like guacamole.
各位乘客请注意
Attention, passengers,
现在可以在客舱内自♥由♥走动了
you are now free to move about the cabin.
你好可以听我解释吗
Hello. Could I please explain?
不用我明白谜底揭开了
No need. I get it. Mystery solved.
你每周都去维加斯看老婆
You go to Vegas every weekend to see your wife.
不我是去看孩子
No. I go to see my child.
当然了你是有家庭的人
Of course you have a family.
你之前没有想过跟我提一下吗
You didn't think about maybe mentioning that to me before?
想过啊你忙着解裤子的时候
Oh, yeah, while you were unbuttoning my pants,
我一直在想 "我等不及让她见我儿子了"
I kept on thinking, "I can't wait for her to meet my son."
我不敢相信自己有多蠢
I can't believe how stupid I feel.
我那天心情那么差
I was just having such a bad day,
以为总算有点好事了呢
and I really thought something nice came out of this.
但你不行
But you're not nice. You're just another guy
你也是不择手段为了去厕所干炮的男人
who will do anything to get a woman into bathroom.
几年前我去维加斯开会
Just listen. A few years ago, I was in Vegas for a conference.
认识了一个魔术师助手
I met... A magician's assistant.
我就那次没多想晚上约起来了
I didn't overthink it for once. We spent the night together.
然后她就怀上了
Ta-da! She's pregnant.
这啥概率啊
I mean, what are the odds?
这取决于她的年纪
Well, it depends on her age,
受孕期以及你手♥机♥装哪个口袋
time in cycle, and which pocket you keep your cell phone.
大概5/2吧
It's roughly five to two.
净扯些没用的
That's not helpful.
回去坐好科林咱俩没戏了
Sit down, Colin. We're done.
我们再谈谈
Can we please just discuss...
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
机长已经亮起了系紧安全带的指示灯
the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign.
请坐回原位
Please return to your seats.
灯没亮啊
The seat belt light isn't on.
但我们没遇上
Right, but we're not experiencing any...
这招也太吓人了吧
That is a terrifying trick.
当我意识到这个以后
And the thing that took my Muay Thai to the next level
我的泰拳又升级了
was when I realized...
泰拳根本没有级别
There are no levels.
想开飞机吗
You want to fly the plane?
好啊
Okay.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
转转呗
Just taking a walk.
你口袋里是啥
And what's in your pocket?
袜子
Is that... Oh. A sock?
你准备把袜子挂在驾驶舱门把手上吗
Were you gonna put a sock on the cockpit door?
没错我是为了你们好
Yeah. I'm doing it for all of you.
让艾伦看已经够操蛋了
It's bad enough Alan has to watch.
不行你不能到处逛
This is not okay. You cannot just go around
然后把袜子随便挂
putting socks wherever you want.
飞国际航♥班♥的史蒂夫机长说
Captain Steve, who flies international,
他经常和乘客做♥爱♥啊
says he has sex all the time with the passengers.
我为什么不能做点酷炫的事呢
How come I'm not allowed to do anything cool?
为什么我就不能和21岁的哥们聊聊天
How come I can't bond with some 21-year-old bros
主持婚礼或者跟喜欢电子舞曲的辣妹干一炮
or officiate a wedding or make it with some EDM ho?
拜托我喜欢浩室音乐
Excuse me. I'm into house.
我好想听你说哦
And I cannot wait to hear all about that.
你以为我想要这样的生活吗
You think this is how I pictured my life?
我小时候想当战斗机飞行员
I grew up wanting to be a fighter pilot,
而不是飞维加斯的破飞机
not flying the puddle jumper to Vegas.
我原来想当英雄
All I wanted to be was a hero.
现在能有点体面的经历就不错了
Now I'll just settle for one decent story.
拜托
Please...
别拦我打炮可以吗
don't cockpit block me.
罗妮至少把袜子还我啊
Ronnie, can I at least have my sock back?
我脚冻死了
My foot's freezing.
新婚小丈夫你老婆呢
Hey, newlywed. Where's the wifey?
我想谢谢她
I just wanted to say thanks.
多亏了她我拿到一张礼品卡
'Cause of her, I got a gift card.
你说啥呢
What are you talking about?
她来我夜♥总♥会♥跳舞了然后说是我介绍的
Well, she came to my club and danced and said I referred her.
跳舞你是说脱衣舞吗
To dance, you mean to strip?
是啊你没看到吗
Well, yeah. You didn't see?
没有我最后一次见卡蒂是周五晚上
No. Last time I saw Katie was Friday night.
所以你们没结婚吗
So the wedding did not happen?
没有好吗
No. Okay?
我们到酒店后
When we got to the hotel,
她觉得我一直在拖她的后腿
she decided that I've been holding her back.
就跟我分手留在维加斯了
So, she broke it off and stayed in Vegas.
就这样开心了吗
That's the story. You happy now?
不我输了"女生留在维加斯"6/1的赌注
No, I lost "Girl stays in Vegas" six to one.
你赢了加里
You're a winner, Gary!
等等你们打赌我结不成婚
Wait, you bet on my marriage falling apart?
你们有毛病吧
What is wrong with you people?!
她上飞机前还很正常
Before she got on this plane, she was just a normal girl.
跟你们待了两小时就突然离我而去
Two hours with all of you, and suddenly she's leaving me
给阿♥拉♥伯王子脱衣服了
to go take her clothes off for a Saudi prince.
你们遇到拉贾啦他不是阿♥拉♥伯王子
Oh, you guys met Raja. No, he's not a Saudi prince.
他是墨西哥人有个宠物猎鹰而已
He's just a Mexican with a pet falcon.
怎么了
What's going on?
这飞机上都是人♥渣♥
This plane is full of monsters.
没错但你现在能做的
Okay. You're not wrong, but the best thing you can do right now
只有深呼吸放轻松
is just take a deep breath and relax.
现在你来劝我了
Oh, now you want to get involved?
不忙着在厕所跟那男的做♥爱♥啦
You're not too busy having sex in the bathroom with that guy?
大家都知道
Yeah, everybody knows about that.
等等你跟她做♥爱♥了
Wait, you had sex with her?
没有
No, we did not have sex.
没脱裤子就是亲亲摸摸了一下
It was just a bit of over-the-trouser stuff.
我跟你说"裤子"是英式说法吧
Trousers. Told you.
但哪怕我们做了也不关你事
But, frankly, even if we did, it's none of your business.
-咱俩都分居一年了 -你们分居了
- We've been separated a year. - You're separated?
对啊我之前就想跟你说这个
Yes. That's what I was trying to tell you before...
我♥操♥ 谁管这破事啊
Oh, my God! Who cares?!
冷静一下我给你拿瓶温啤酒
Okay, just calm down. Let me get you a nice warm beer.
别过来不然我发誓
Do not come near me, or I swear I will go
我就劫机了
Passenger 57 all over this place.
别玷污我的韦斯利·斯奈普斯
You leave Wesley Snipes out of this.
你们这些贱♥人♥
You people are the villains,
知道贱♥人♥的下场是什么吗
and you know what happens to the villains?
会坠机[被捕]
They go down.
没错
Yeah, that's right.
我要毁了这架飞机
I'll take out this whole plane.
人们会奉我为英雄
They'll call me a hero.
他们会为我游♥行♥
They will throw parades in my honor!
泰拳
Muay Thai!
好了
Okay.
我知道我太过分了
Too far. I get it.
我说得太过了
That was too far.
你被捕[落地]了
Consider yourself grounded.
这经历就挺厉害啊
This is a pretty good story.
在驾驶舱做♥爱♥更棒
Making love in the cockpit would've been a better one.
到达
好运啊朋友
Oh, good luck, my friend.
我们都赌你会因为表现良好被放出来的
We're all betting you're out on good behavior,
好好表现啊别太作死
so be nice, but don't be bitch!
可以坐吗
May I?
你老婆呢
Where's your wife?
我给她买♥♥了回维加斯的票
Ah, I got her a ticket back to Vegas.
她想来洛杉矶跟我复合
She wanted to come to L. A. To work things out.
我的直觉告诉我不可能但
My instinct was to say no, but, um...