假亦真（2014）
Faking It
第三季
剧集 | 假亦真（2014） | 导航列表
假亦真（2014）
Faking It S03E01
Part 2
April 15, 2021, 11:50 a.m.
你当然没玩 而且这是大事
Of course you're not and, yes, it is.
说实话 我期待的是
Quite honestly, I expected
更出色的候选人
a more impressive group of candidates.
不管怎么样 两个姑娘
Regardless, two of these girls
今晚将和我一起参加篝火晚会
will get to come with me to that bonfire tonight.
等等 你受邀了吗
Wait. You're invited?
你自己也说了 这不是奥斯卡奖
- You said yourself, it's not the Oscars.
谢天谢地《心火》宽宏大量
Thank God firelight is forgiving.
女士们 我们开始吧
Okay, ladies, let's get started.
好消息 我找到我爸爸了
Good news: I found my dad.
坏消息 他死了
Bad news: he's dead.
我是说 这很扫兴 但是现在
I mean, it's a bummer, sure, but now, dude,
我有了姑妈 四个表亲 还有一个兄弟
I have aunt, I have four cousins, and a bubbe.
原来我是犹太人
It turns out I'm Jewish.
恭喜啊
Oh, Mazel Tov!
幸亏你已经受过割礼了
Good thing you're already circumcised.
别说我了 我们聊聊你吧
Enough about me. Let's talk about you.
-你的夏天过得怎么样 -饮料来了
- How was your summer? - Drinks are up.
我是公共游泳池的救生员
Uh...I was a lifeguard at a public pool.
没人买♥♥电影版权
Nobody's buying the movie rights.
是你跟女继承人坐着喷气式飞机满世界跑啊
You're the one jetting around the world with an heiress.
多说点你
More about you!
肖恩 怎么了
Shane, what's going on?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
你一直改变话题 不说自己
You keep changing the subject away from yourself.
而你超爱谈论自己的
And you love talking about yourself.
我受到了侮辱
I am insulted.
好吧
Okay, fine.
你最后会发现的
You're gonna find out eventually.
夏天里 卡玛和我
Over the summer, Karma and I...
天啊
Oh, God.
-成了朋友 -就这样吗
- Became friends. - That's it?
在你们流产的舞会3P过后
After your aborted prom threesome,
我刚才想到了一些不好的东西
my mind went to some very dark places.
我是你最好的朋友 她是你的前女友
I'm your best friend. She's your ex-girlfriend.
-那不会让你烦恼吗 -为什么会
- That doesn't bother you? - Why would it?
我现在和齐塔在一起了 我不爱卡玛了
I'm with Zita now. I am so over Karma.
告诉我实话
Tell me the truth.
我绝对不会告诉别人你跟我说的秘密
I would never share anything you told me in confidence.
这就是实话 我当然还关心她
It's the truth; I still care about her, of course.
我想让她幸福
I want her to be happy.
她幸福吗
Is she?
我知道看见前任翻篇会很难过
I--I know it can be hard to watch an ex move on.
天啊 怎么这么晚了
Uh...Jeez, how did it get so late?
我得走了 我跟我妈保证
I gotta run, I promised my mom
我会帮她点存货清单
I'd help her with the inventory.
之后你想见面吗 打打台球
You want to meet up after? Shoot some pool?
计算一车♥库♥的假鸡鸡需要花的时间
You'd be surprised how long it takes
会让你大吃一惊
to count a garage full of dildos.
肖恩 你没有回我短♥信♥
Shane, you didn't answer my texts.
我得跟你谈谈卡玛的事
I need to talk to you about Karma.
真是惊喜
What a surprise.
不是那样的 我不爱她了
Not like that. I'm over her.
-她归你了 -谢谢 但我也不爱她了
- She's all yours. - Thanks, but I'm over her too.
真的吗 毕业典礼时可没见你啊
Oh, really? I didn't see you at graduation.
我知道她因为我离开而很生气
I know that she's pissed at me for leaving.
我们得谈谈这事
We have to talk it out.
今晚带我参加救生员派对吧
Take me to that lifeguard party with you tonight.
救生员派对 那是今晚的事吗
Lifeguard party! That's tonight?
我得在数完假鸡鸡后过去
I'll have to stop by after the dildo counting.
但那仅限于救生员参加
But it's just for lifeguards.
超级排外 有点像奥斯卡奖
Super exclusive. Kind of like the Oscars.
等等 劳伦也去啊
Wait, Lauren's going.
她是鼓舞人心的人物啊
Yeah, well, she's an inspirational figure.
我得走了
Gotta run.
如果我没有叫到你的名字
If I don't call your name
今晚你躺在床上想着 我真是个大废柴时
and tonight you're lying in bed, thinking, "I'm a huge loser,"
试着想想我 被我鼓舞
try to think of me and be inspired.
莱拉 请给我信封
Leila, the envelope please...
我找不到信封 所以就折起来了
I couldn't find an envelope, so I just folded it.
第一位入围的是
And the first finalist is...
抱歉 我来申请朋友实习生是不是太迟了
Excuse me, am I too late to apply for the friendternship?
一点也不迟
Not at all!
实际上你是第一位入围者
In fact, you're our first finalist!
女士们 来鼓掌吧 为了...
Ladies, let's hear it for...
-艾瑞卡 -艾瑞卡
- Erika. - Erika!
你不觉得我们该先面试她
Don't you think we should interview her first,
确保她是因为合适理由过来的吗
make sure she's here for the right reasons?
没必要
No need.
我看着她就感觉很不错
I get a good feeling just looking at her.
那发型真是比其他人强多了
That hair, such an upgrade.
但你说我有一票的
But you said I get a vote.
是啊 我有三票
You do. I get three.
这样吧 你选出另一个入围者
Tell you what, you can pick the other runner-up
而我去和艾瑞卡认识认识 好吗
while Erika and I get to know each other better, okay?
*游泳池有个叫海马的救生员*
*There's a lifeguard named Seahorse at the pool*
*游泳池*
*At the pool*
*他开始工作时 我们被骗了*
*When he started working, we were fooled*
*我们被骗了*
*We were fooled*
*他看起来像是个害羞的孤独的人*
*He seemed like a shy loner*
*直到他不小心硬了*
*Till that accidental boner*
*现在大家都想骑他的那话儿*
*Now everybody wants to ride his tool*
*骑他的那话儿*
*Ride his tool*
现在唱虾
Now do Shrimp.
-好 -好
- Okay. - Okay, okay.
*游泳池有个叫海马的救生员*
*There's a lifeguard named Shrimp here at the pool*
*游泳池*
*At the pool*
那像是泰勒·斯威夫特和水果姐姐的二重唱
It's like a duet between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.
拜托 大家都知道她们关系紧张
Oh, come on, everyone knows they have beef.
也许这是个错误
Maybe this was a mistake.
一群陌生人穿着泳衣喝酒
A bunch of strangers drinking alcohol in their bathing suits
是我最糟糕的噩梦
is kind of my worst nightmare.
别害羞
Don't be shy.
派对就像泳池 你得跳进去
A party's like a pool: you just gotta jump in!
谁给这两位端两杯啤酒
Somebody grab these two a beer!
该死 我们要怎么做
Crap, what do we do?
利亚姆 艾米 你们在这里干什么
Liam, Amy, what are you doing here?
不是吧
No way!
你们是黄貂鱼的朋友吗
You two are friends with Stingray?
他的乳♥头♥是不是一直这么完美
Has he always had these perfect nipples?
给
Here you go.
这是迪伦 又叫鲨鱼皮
Guys, this is Dylan. AKA Sharkskin.
他今年夏天从夏威夷搬来了
He moved here this summer from Hawaii.
满怀着爱意
Filled with the spirit of Aloha.
你们在约会吗
So are you guys dating?
我倒是希望 瞧瞧这气孔
I wish! Look at that blowhole!
但是很可惜 我的鲨鱼不那样游
But sadly my shark don't swim that way.
我生来是彻头彻尾的异性恋
I've been cursed with a terminal case of heterosexuality,
只有这位女士才让事情更容易接受
and this little lady is the only thing that makes it bearable.
-别傻了 -谢谢
- Don't be silly. - Thanks.
我没邀请你
I didn't invite you
是因为我知道一群陌生人穿着泳衣喝酒
because I know a bunch of strangers drinking alcohol in bathing suits
是你最糟糕的噩梦
is your worst nightmare.
曾是
Was.
但现在我爱派对 这是享受
But now I love parties. They're my jam.
我今年夏天进化了
I've evolved this summer.
所以我来了
Which is why I'm here.
和利亚姆一起
With Liam.
我们和之前的敌人成了朋友 真是疯狂
How crazy we both befriended former enemies.
不 我们不是朋友
Oh, no, we're not friends.
假亦真（2014）
Faking It
剧集 | 假亦真（2014） | 导航列表