假亦真（2014）

Faking It S03E05

Part 2 April 15, 2021, 11:50 a.m.

-你们三个 -天啊
- All three of you. - Oh, my.
戴安听起来像是个好人
Diane sounds really nice.
戴安戴安戴安
Diane. Diane. Diane.
我不知道我为什么一直说戴安
And I don't know why I keep saying "Diane."
我太高兴了
Well, I am overjoyed.
那你想早点跟她见面吗
So, do you want to meet her soon, then?
今晚怎么样
What about tonight?
我很想跟戴安见面
Oh, I would love to meet Diane,
但是不好
but, um--oh, no!
我刚答应艾米会跟她一起玩
I--I just promised Amy I would hang with her.
实际上我迟到了
Oh. In fact, I'm late.
所以我得走了
So I, uh, have to go.
但是我爱你俩
Um, but, I love you both.
我觉得我们做得很好
Well, I think we nailed that.
这件上衣太前卫了吗
Is this top too over-the-top?
我在为亦敌亦友疯狂乐队试穿
I'm trying it out for Frenemy Frenzy.
这是我在构思的乐队新名字
A new band name I'm workshopping.
T恤挺不错
The shirt is great.
乐队名字很糟糕
The band name? Terrible.
你跟瑞秋怎么样了
How are things with Rachel?
你好像还在等卡玛
Seems like you were just waiting
给你另一个机会呢
for Karma to give you another chance.
一切的发生都是有原因的
Everything happens for a reason.
我很想让我跟卡玛在一起
I would have loved for Karma and me to be together,
但那不是上帝的计划
but it just wasn't God's plan.
等等所以上帝让卡玛爸爸心脏病发作
Wait, so God gave Karma's dad a heart attack
好让你跟瑞秋在一起吗
so you'd end up with Rachel?
我不知道也许上帝想让我有个新开始
I don't know, maybe God just wanted me to have a fresh start.
但如果她出现了呢
But what if she had shown up?
你不好奇吗
Aren't you just a little bit curious?
不我不能好奇
No, I can't be curious.
我跟瑞秋在一起了我们是巴舍特
I'm with Rachel now. We're "Bashert."
希伯来语"命中注定"的意思
That's Hebrew for we're "Meant to be."
实际上肖恩今晚
In fact, Shane, tonight,
我们要更进一步了
we're taking things to the next level.
我们要做♥爱♥了
We're gonna have sex.
乔什拉比
Oh! Uh, Rabbi Josh.
-你没事吧 -嗯
- Hi, um, you okay? - Oh, yeah.
我还在掌握一边走路一边喝东西的技巧但是
I'm still mastering the art of walking and drinking, but...
我最喜欢的成年礼学生怎么样
How is my favorite Bar Mitzvah student?
这位是谁
And who is this?
乔什拉比这是肖恩
Oh, um, Rabbi Josh? This is--this is Shane.
你好祝你好运诸如此类
Shalom, and mazel, and all that jazz.
诸如此类我喜欢
Hah, "All that jazz." I love that. Love that.
很高兴认识你肖恩
It's a real pleasure to meet you, Shane.
你可能听到的话
So what you maybe overheard, um--
-我是在学电视剧里的 -别紧张
- I was quoting a TV show-- - Relax.
我是个很酷的拉比记得吗
I'm the cool Rabbi, remember?
知道吗我想让你们今晚
Know what, I want you boys to come over
来我家共进安息日晚餐
to my place tonight for Shabbat dinner.
我们很乐意
We'd love to.
实际上我们会带白面包
In fact, we'll bring the challah.
-喂 -喂
- Holla! - Holla!
好吧今天晚些时候见
Yeah, okay, I will see you two later tonight.
-回头见 -好
- See you. - Okay.
你为什么突然这么渴望跟我的拉比吃晚餐
Why are you suddenly so eager to have dinner with my Rabbi?
因为之前的亦敌亦友疯狂乐队
Because the band formerly known as Frenemy Frenzy
想要进入成年礼圈子
is looking to break into the Bar Mitzvah circuit.
乔什拉比可能就是我们的钥匙
And Rabbi Josh might just be our in.
等等你约好的做♥爱♥怎么办
Wait, wait, wait. What about your sex date?
我之后才跟瑞秋见面
Well, I'm not meeting up with Rachel until later.
我们可以快点吃完安息日晚餐
We can just rush through Shabbat.
直接吃甜点
And get straight to dessert.
快停下
Please stop.
我在这上班呢
I work here.
我妈完全相信了
My mom fell hook, line, and sinker
我们编的假资料
for the fake profile we created.
雷金纳德·莱特先生
Mr. Reginald Write, Esq.,
即将邀请她参加今晚奥斯丁舞蹈派对
is about to ask her out on a romantic
做他的浪漫舞伴
dancing date to the Austin SwingFest tonight.
同时我会拉爸爸过去
Meanwhile, I'll drag Daddy there too.
林迪舞肯定能让他运气变好
A little Lindy Hop is sure to rebuild his mojo.
怎么出色的舞蹈能力
What? Superior dancing ability
存在于库珀家族血统之中
is a part of the Cooper bloodline.
好吧
Right, okay, so,
莱特先生放了法拉尔鸽子后
when Mr. Wright stands Farrah up,
她肯定会放弃男人
she'll be ready to give up on men--
有其母必有其女
Oh, like mother, like daughter.
真搞笑那时候
Very funny-- at that moment,
我会冲上去带她进去
I'll swoop in, bring her inside,
她会看到更优秀的新布鲁斯
she'll see a new-and-improved Bruce--
他俩又会爱上对方
And the two of them will fall for each other all over again.
更重要的是我们又会是姐妹了
And more importantly, we'll be sisters again.
两个少女林赛·罗韩对我们可没影响
Two tween Lindsay Lohans ain't got nothing on us.
是的
Oh, no. Mm-mm.
来了
Oh! Yes!
雷金纳德·莱特新即时消息
你愿意这周末跟我去参加奥斯丁宴会吗
好啊等不及跟你见面了莱特先生
鱼儿上钩了
The catfish took the bait.
白面包好沉
This challah is heavy.
你非得买♥♥特大的吗
Did you really need to get the extra large?
你非得去买♥♥24个装的套套吗
Did you have to stop for a 24-pack of condoms?
你记得童子军的
Hey, you remember Boy Scouts.
总是要做好准备
Always be prepared.
吃完晚餐后我就去做♥爱♥了
I'm going straight from this dinner to my sex date with--
瑞秋
Rachel?
利亚姆
Liam?
你俩见过吗
You two have met?
你怎么认识我女儿的
How do you know my daughter?
-戴安吗 -是真的
- Diane? - It's true.
我父母在和一个叫戴安的女人三角恋
My parents are in a thruple with a woman named Diane.
你先别问没错
And before you say anything, yes,
我的确意识到了一个差点
I do recognize the irony of this situation
搞了两次3P的女孩碰上这种事的荒唐
happening to a girl who's had two almost-threesomes.
你跟他们说了你的感受吗
Have you told them how you feel about it?
我不能告诉我父母我吓坏了
I can't tell my parents I'm horrified.
我爸心脏病发作就因为他隐瞒了这事
My dad had a heart attack because he kept this from me.
这可是新事
This is a--a new one.
我今晚不能待在家里
I can't stay home tonight.
我知道你忙着撮合父母
I know you're gonna be busy parent-trapping,
但我能跟你一起去吗
but can I please tag along?
我可以帮忙
I can help.
-她可以帮忙 -我擅长计谋
- She can help! - I am great at schemes.
多个人手总是好的
And it's always nice to have an extra lookout on deck.
好吧
Fine.
但你今晚最好别搞抓马
But you'd better not bring any drama tonight.
否则要付出惨痛代价
The stakes are too high.
别担心我不会的
Don't worry. I would never.
真信了好
Right. Okay.
我要去让我爸爸树立信心
I got to go build up Daddy's confidence.
我给你信♥号♥♥时甩了你妈妈
When I give you the signal, dump your mother.
-交给我吧库珀 -抓马
- I'm on it, Cooper. - Drama?
-我才不抓马 -卡玛
- I am not Drama. - Karma?
莫莉卢卡斯
Molly. Lucas.
你们在舞蹈派对干什么呢
What are you guys doing at SwingFest?
我们搞错了这是哪种派对
We sort of misunderstood what kind of SwingFest this was.
你说你等不及跟她见面了
Well, you said you can't wait to meet her,
我想命运也赞同
and I guess the fates agree.
亲爱的这是戴安
Honey, this is Diane.
卡玛
Karma. Oh.
耶戴安